Against All Odds (12 page)

“Thank you,” I say, softly.

He nods and goes outside. I hear the door close, and I swallow hard, trying to push down my anxiety. I move to Cooper’s side and take a seat next to him.

God, this is hard.

The air is so heavy with tension that my muscles twitch. I work to calm myself by taking a couple deep breaths.

“Why are you here, Cooper?”

“What do you mean, why am I here, Kylie?” He asks, his voice low, simmering in rage. “I came to find
my
wife.”

Deep breath.
“Why the lake house? Why here?”

He turns, and our eyes lock. “I came to talk to you about Nate. Cali told me where you were.”

Flipping Cali…

I feel my gut seize. Wait… how does he know about Nate? Who told him? As quickly as the shock hits, it’s overridden with anger. “You came here to talk about Nate?” My emotions swirl like a whirlpool. He never, ever just wants to see me. “Let me get this straight … You came here, to the place you demolished and haven’t bothered to clean up, to talk to
your
wife, who you’ve
ignored
over the last three days, about Nate?”

His eyes cloud over as he moves an inch away from me. “Yes,” he whispers, low, deadly. “I came here to talk to you about your encounter with Nate that, by the way, I learned about from the man himself. But instead, I found you with your hands wrapped around my best friend.” Disgusted, he shakes his head, his fists clenched. “Now, tell me, have you fucked him too?”

I deserve that. I deserve his disgust, his anger.

The look on his face breaks me. It’s a reminder that if you inflict pain on the people you love, you have to deal with the consequences. Although we have an open relationship, we have rules. I just broke one. Maybe this was my way of getting revenge. A way of getting back at him for all the times he’s pushed me away and left me feeling as though he didn’t want, need, or love me.

“No.” My voice cracks as tears fall down my cheeks. “I haven’t fucked him, Cooper.”

His face is hard, his eyes unforgiving. “Your tears don’t work on me anymore.”

Defeated, I flip my eyes away from his. “When have they ever worked?” I whisper.

Complete silence mantles the air, spreading through the room so densely that I shift to see if he heard me. When I catch the fury that slashes across his face, a gasp slips from my mouth. He moves toward me, and I feel the harsh bite of his hands on my shoulders as my back hits the sofa. Before I can grasp what’s happening, he’s an inch away from my face, his green eyes filled with fire. My body trembles from fear.

“You listen to me, Kylie” He says, low, harsh. “I’m sick of all your fucking running around. I’m sick of your bullshit.”

My shoulders ache from the bruising weight of his hands pressing into my muscles. Lost to his anger, he doesn’t register the grimace covering my face. He moves in closer, our noses touching, and a tremor shoots all the way through me.

“You messed with the one thing a man like me depends on for his sanity. You fucked with
my business,
and now you’re screwing with something worse—my best friend. This marriage might be open, but we have boundaries for a reason.” He eases up, his face flickering regret, but his hands stay pressed against me.

My heart thrums so frantically that all I hear is a thrashing sound and feel a harsh pulsing in my neck that moves through my body.

What just happened?

My mind is trying to catch up, trying to rationalize Cooper’s anger. My body still feels the bruising effects of his hands. My heart fights against the coldness seeping from him. This is a man I don’t know, a man I did not marry.

“I know you, Kylie. I know you had no idea who you picked up at the bar, but your little stunt in our meeting was unacceptable, and I won’t tolerate it.” The tension in his face eases a fraction, an eerie calmness settling over him. “How long have we busted our asses for this? You know what you’re responsible for. You know what the rules and limits are. You agreed to abide by them, and you need to get yourself together. Understood?”

I don’t move, don’t respond. I’m barely breathing. I’m in shock at the change in Cooper. He’s acting crazy.

“Say something,” he orders.

“Get off me,” I cry, my insides a mess. My anger surges thick and fear disappears.

He steps back and shakes himself, looking at his hands. His forehead creases as he mutters, “Fuck!”

I rub my shoulders while mustering the courage to tell him exactly what I think—always a strong suit of mine. “Are you done?” My anger turns to rage. “Let me tell you one thing, motherfucker! If you ever lay your hands on me again, you’ll have problems. Do you
understand
me?”

I’m shaking. In all the years we’ve been together, he’s never, not once, put his hands on me, and this was way too close to crossing a line. We’re both on the precipice of our demise.

Taking a deep breath, I speak as calmly as I can. “Were you even looking at me when I left the bar? Didn’t you see Nate with me? Why didn’t you say something then?”

“I wasn’t paying attention to who your next fuck was,” he spits. “I saw you, but I was kind of busy.”

His crass comment pisses me off and only fuels my agitation. “I know you were. So busy trying to screw with me, hurt me, that you missed something that could have fucked with
your business
.”

He stays silent. What can he say? All he had to do was pay attention, get up, and whisper something in my ear. I never would have walked out of that bar with Nate. Cooper’s getting angry at me as if I’m the only one screwing things up. He can’t pin the blame solely on my shoulders. The fact that we’re even
having
a conversation about having sex with other people is disgusting. We’re so far past the line of morality that we’re picking on who we can and can’t fuck. It’s insane.

I move toward the front window in the living room. I need some space to get the words out. My throat tightens as the pain of what we’ve become presses in around me. I feel smothered by it. “This, us, it’s all so messed up. Can’t you see what’s happening? What we’re becoming?”

I turn, needing to see his reaction to my words. He looks weary, his honey hair a tousled mess. Those green eyes that used to sparkle with life, love, and hope are dim with pain, confusion, and lingering anger. His jaw’s covered in day-old stubble. His jeans and red polo are wrinkled. He looks as if the stress of
us
is draining the life right out of him. My soul cries for only one thing, and that’s him. But for some reason, he’s holding out on me, and I’m acting like a spoiled, bratty bitch.

I need to fight for him.

“You know what I see when I look at us?” I whisper, sadness bleeding from deep inside me. “I see two people who can’t live without each other but don’t know how to live with one another. I see a man who’s angry and wants to hurt me. A man who enjoys putting me down. A man who has no problem sharing his wife, and a man who doesn’t know what he wants. I don’t know if you love me anymore. I don’t even know if you care.”

I watch him swallow. His hesitant eyes find mine, wavering in response. I decide to go on because I have nothing to lose. I need him to know that I want him back.

“I see a woman who wants her husband back but can’t have him because he won’t give her the time of day. A woman who hurts, because not only did she lose half her heart with her daughter, she lost the other half with her husband. I know I hurt you, Cooper, but how long will you make me suffer? What else are you holding against me? It’s been two years. Two brutal, torturous years, and I want
our
life back. I need you. Just say the word and all this”—I point around us—“can go away.”

His eyes fill with tears, but his face is smeared with uncertainty. There’s so much behind his eyes that I wish I understood. I wish he would open up to me, but I can’t blame him that he won’t. I hurt him, God, I hurt him. I ache to throw my arms around him, pull him close and love him. I feel helpless.

I’ll wait for him forever. Cooper is worth it. He’s worth every moment of pain, every slice of hell I deal with, every second of agony I walk through. He’s the motor that keeps my heart pumping.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice breaking. “There’s too much going on right now. You and Nate, you and Gray… I can’t deal with it. I’m not ready.”

His rejection tears through my heart. I tuck it down and remind myself to wait. I did this to us. I owe him time to figure out what he wants.

“I can’t do this right now, Kylie. I need to go.”

“Cooper, wait,” I call as he heads for the door.

No matter how toxic we are, being around him brings me peace. Even in the midst of the chaos, at least I know where he is. I’m not ready to lose that yet. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close. I feel him stiffen, but I shove it to the back of my mind. I pretend in this moment, with his scent surrounding me, that he cares. I bury my doubts and embrace the tiny flicker of hope that we’ll be okay. That eventually we’ll work out.

I know it’s illogical and stupid, but without Cooper, I can’t live. We share a reckless, toxic love that feeds the brokenness in me, in us. Our love is an addiction. A love that I won’t ever consider living without.

Three weeks later…

That day at the lake, Gray came in a little while later and found me. I wasn’t crying or trembling. I was just staring at the door Coop had walked through. He squatted in front of me, his eyes landing on my shoulders. I noticed him harden, but at the time I was too emotionally exhausted to care. What he saw must have pissed him off because his fists clenched. He growled several curses aimed at Cooper and proceeded to scoop me up, put me in his sport car, and bring me to his house.

That’s where I’ve been for the past three weeks. Gray refuses to let me go back home until Cooper “gets his shit” together.

Things between Cooper and I have been the same—strained. I’ve tried calling, but he doesn’t pick up. I’ve texted twice a day, but he doesn’t respond. I’m still trying, though. I’ll keep trying until I physically can’t try anymore. I’ve been sex-free for three weeks. It’s been harder than I thought it would be. I sound pathetic, but I’m lonely. Being at Gray’s has been okay, but I miss my life, all of it, especially Cali.

I’ve been so numb I haven’t even been able to talk to my best friend. She called this morning and informed me that we are going out tonight. Her exact words were, “I miss my wingman, bitch. It’s time to come out of your hidey hole and get back to life.”

She made me laugh and realize how badly I needed a girls’ night out. So here I am, in Gray’s bathroom, getting ready to hang out with my bestie. I’m putting the finishing touches on my makeup when Gray peeks through the bathroom door.

“Jesus, you look fucking hot,” he says. “You need to go change.”

“What? You like?” I purr, seductively.

“I love,” he breathes, adjusting his crotch.

I giggle. “Cut it out, Gray.”

This is what’s developed between us since our make-out session at the lake house. Our flirty banter has progressed to a new level. I thought for sure things would be tense after what happened, but it seems to have rolled off his back.

When I tried to talk to him about the kiss and Cooper, he looked incredulous and asked, “Kylie, do you think I’m stupid?”

My response was a confused, “Huh?”

“I know how to read a woman,” he said.

“Okay…?”

“I know how to read
you
, sweet cheeks. I knew Cooper was there, and I didn’t care. I wanted him to see what he was about to lose.”

I had been shocked. I still don’t know where I stand with Grayson, and that bothers me. He loves Coop like a brother, but I think their friendship’s in trouble. I sometimes wonder why Gray doesn’t treat me the way he does Cooper. I mean, I’m not exactly innocent in everything that’s happened in my marriage.

“Where are you girls going tonight?” he asks.

“Braxton’s.”

“Okay, make sure you’re careful. You know where to reach me. Are you taking a taxi?”

“Yeah, I called for one. They’ll be here at nine thirty to pick Cali and me up.” I smile.