Afterlife (34 page)

knees, tel ing her he

wanted her to maintain the bent-

legged position until he

was ful y seated again. At this angle,

she felt the pressure

of that glide into her body even more

acutely, such that she

was making those noises in her throat

as he sank in to the

hilt.

He lowered himself onto her body

then, sliding one

strong arm behind her shoulders. “Put

your legs around me.

High on my back. I want those sexy

stilettos brushing my

shoulder blades.”

She complied, loving the way it felt,

him so closely joined

to her, his face so close, hands

touching her, commanding

her body. He held her stil then, one

palm closing on her

thigh. “By the end of tonight, I’m

going to have tasted every

inch of you, Rachel Madison. Taken

you so many times

you’l have trouble walking. I’d love

to come to your Monday

class and enjoy the hel out of seeing

you explain to your

class why you’re not as limber as you

usual y are. And the

whole time you’d go through the

practice, I’d be thinking

about fucking you in the showers

right afterward.”

“That wil make it hard to…reach a

medita-meditative

state.”

“Having trouble talking, sweet girl?”

The look he sent her

was pure male satisfaction, and she

tried to steady her

voice, give him a spirited vol ey in

return.

“It’s only Friday. I’d heal by

Monday.”

“You assume I’m going to let you out

of this bed this

weekend.” He adjusted himself even

more deeply then, a

tiny pain. When she made a noise of

helpless pleasure, al

teasing left his expression.

“From this night on, I consider it al

mine. Every beautiful

blonde lock of hair, that tender spot

on your knee, the pretty

line of your ankle. Your pussy, your

breasts, your gorgeous

round ass. It’s al mine. Say it.”

“Y-yours.”

He put his forehead to hers, touched

her lips, barely a

breath. “Say it without the fear,

Rachel. Feel it deep inside.

Say it.”

“Yours.” A whisper, like a breeze

sliding through her, sure

and quiet. Incontrovertible.

“Good. And being mine means I’l

make sure you know

what pleasure feels like, not just in

your body but in your

heart, mind and soul. I’l dedicate

myself to it. I’l satisfy your

every desire, every fantasy, and in

return, you’l give me al

of it, every deep part of yourself,

because I meant what I

said earlier. I’l take care of you. You

can’t trust any of it yet,

but you wil . For now, I’l keep saying

it so you can keep

remembering it.”

She couldn’t have found words to

answer such incredible

things, but she didn’t have the chance.

He pul ed out, then

thrust back in, and she arched up to

him, crying out at the

power and determination behind it.

Al the restraint he’d

shown up until now, the finesse, the

lingering torment, were

left behind. He did in fact know what

she needed, when she

needed it. Now he gave her a

Master’s lust, his animal

possession, made her feel like she

would be pushed to

serve him to the last ounce of energy,

with every straining

muscle.

Despite the recent climax, the

punishing, excruciating

rhythm had her body climbing that

steep rol er coaster

again. She clung to him with legs and

arms, burying her

face into his neck, the strands of his

hair against her

forehead.

He’d teased her about the marinara,

letting her have

some breathing room. But these

earth-shattering words

were a reminder that there was an

invisible leash attached

to that col ar she stil wore, and he

would only let her back

away a certain amount. It was thril

ing and terrifying at once,

a duality she was beginning to accept

went hand in hand

with her first-in-a-lifetime feelings

for Jon.

How many times had she told herself

that, after tonight,

after this point or that point, she’d

back away, push him to

arms’ length? She’d been fooling

herself. One didn’t push a

Master at al . Not unless one was wil

ing to deal with the

consequences.

She wouldn’t survive it. To do that,

she’d have to accept

the improbable was possible, and

that she could trust him.

That she could believe the things he

said about her, things

she couldn’t believe herself.

So, ultimately, it wasn’t about not

trusting him. It was

about not trusting herself, the courage

of her own heart.

She’d doubted that part of herself

from the first time she’d

seen her failure in Cole’s eyes. Now

the organ beating so

frantical y in her chest had so many

cracks, there was no

way it was strong enough for this.

The problem was, she

didn’t think Jon was going to give her

any other choice.

That too was a thril ing and terrifying

possibility.

Chapter Twelve

Jon had enjoyed the company of many

submissives, as

Rachel had accurately guessed. He’d

never had one like

her. Though he always cared for the

women he bedded, he

didn’t have the emotional investment

he had with this one.

Stil , it amazed the man and roused

the Master to fever

pitch, the way she anticipated his

demands as if she knelt

obediently in his brain, watching

every flicker of activity

beneath her silky lashes.

He’d depleted her emotional y and

expected that to affect

her physical endurance. As such, he

anticipated outlasting

her tonight, driving her over the edge

of exhaustion and

beyond, and he did. He’d intended to

do so. As he’d said,

he wasn’t a heavy-handed Dom, but

he knew when it was

needed. She needed his ruthless

demands, because they

fed a soul too long starved of the

chance to serve a Master.

Every time he took her body, or put

her on her knees to

suck him off again, or placed her

back in Child’s pose to

eat her pussy to climax, she gave him

every ounce of

energy she had. Her voice became

hoarse from

screaming, and her legs trembled if

she tried to stand, such

that he had to help her to the

bathroom when it was

needed. She didn’t want him to go in

with her, and he let

her have that, understanding a

woman’s vanity, but he was

at the door to take her back to the

bed. Seeing how much

she wanted to give him, beyond the

last reservoir of

strength she possessed, made his

heart fil with feelings he

knew exactly what to cal , feelings

she was too afraid yet to

hear.

He’d seen the look in her eyes when

he’d first put on the

condom, and he’d read the emotions

clearly enough that

the Dominant in him had wanted to

toss aside the irrelevant

thing and take her the way he should,

nothing between

them. But the feelings that kept her

silent, stil thinking this

would end, had stopped him. Just as

she was afraid of

binding him to her unwil ingly, he

wouldn’t ever let her

believe that a life they created was

what made this

permanent. There would be time for

al that, once he had

her heart nestled trustingly in his

hand.

The last time, when he slid inside her

—rough enough to

make her moan with a slave’s deep

desire to feel the pain

with the pleasure, gently enough not

to abuse sore tissues

too much—she managed to wrap her

arms and legs

around him, but she was clinging like

a leaf not sure of its

grip. He’d depleted her to the point

she thought she wasn’t

capable of another orgasm, and he

suspected she was

right—at least in this position. He

gave her his once more

though, because he knew she needed

that, needed to know

she’d served her Master wel .

Then he showed her that serving her

Master wel also

meant giving him
her
pleasure when

he demanded it. Once

again gagging her with the cock plug

he’d brought, he slid

down her body and spent long,

leisurely minutes arousing

her with his mouth. Thanks to Lucas’

tutelage in how to re-

awaken a woman who’d been

stimulated repeatedly, he

was able to bring her back to a short

but intense climax that

had a smal amount of her cream

spurting on his tongue

one last time. It drove him crazy

seeing the way she was

sucking on that gag frenetical y at the

end, her hungry eyes

wanting his cock. But he wanted to

give her tenderness

now. She’d earned it.

So instead, he removed the gag and

rol ed her over onto

her stomach to give her a thorough

Tantric massage. He

started at her feet, pressing his

thumbs into the soles,

working his way up her legs. He took

his time on her

shoulders, an even-handed, rol ing

and caressing of the

muscles. The chakra clearing was

trickier, because as he

passed his hands six inches over her

body, he had to flick

his wrists repeatedly to get rid of the

more destructive

energies. It was like sloughing a

snake’s skin even as he

saw a new one forming. He put aside

his ego, knowing

years of pain and denial weren’t

going to be obliterated in

one night. He’d have to be satisfied

that he’d stirred those

chakra energies up quite a bit tonight,

knocked a lot of

things loose.

He’d been tel ing her the truth.

However long it took, he

was here. She wasn’t going to shake

him or shut him out.

When he was done and brought her

food and drink, he

had to lift her to a seated position.

She blinked blearily at

him. He’d brought some eggplant and

bread, the wine for

him and water for her. She’d put a

pitcher of ice water and

a glass on the table if he wanted it

with his food. She’d

thought of things like that, and he

knew anticipating his

needs, both domestic and sexual,

were an integral part of

her nature. He wondered and cursed

at the ex-husband, a

man he didn’t know but who had so

obviously not

appreciated the gift she was. Worse

—instead of

appreciating it, he’d abused it.

Setting those negative thoughts aside,

he lifted her,

moved them to a roomy easy chair in

her bedroom.

Adjusting her in his lap, both of them

naked, skin to skin, he

shared a plate of eggplant parmesan

and a glass of water

with her, occasional y sipping at the

wineglass he left on the

floor to his left. True to what he’d

promised, he didn’t let her

touch a fork or glass with her fingers.

He fed her himself

and satisfied her thirst by holding the

glass to her lips and

watching the movement of her

graceful throat as she

swal owed.

When at last she slept, he held her

close. There was a

quivering undercurrent to her repose,

one that made her

press herself to him, slide her arms

around his shoulders,

hold on tight. In the unconscious state

of her dreams she

sought the comfort of male

companionship, the Master

she’d lacked for far too long.

He kept his arms banded around her,

rocked her, al

without waking her, soothing her in

those dreams. He was

here, she wasn’t alone.

His gaze moved over the room,

lingered on the closet

where the photo album was hidden.

Her life with her

husband had made her brittle, fragile,

and the death of her

son was the tragedy that shattered her

completely, turned

her into this shel . But Jon had known

she was stil there,

burrowed deep in its spiraling

tunnels. The truth had been in

between the lines of what she’d told

him at his office.

If her husband had simply been a

vanil a guy who didn’t

understand the D/s compulsions of

his wife but who truly,

deeply loved her nevertheless, they

could have figured

something out. As Jon had

recognized, she wasn’t the kind