Afraid to Fly (Fearless #2) (23 page)

Shit. So much for girl’s night.

I
WAS PISSED. AND
scared. But mostly pissed.

Here I was, trying to enjoy my Friday night by putting all that shit with Raven behind me, and she had the audacity to insert herself into my space. I had accepted that she hated me, and probably would have for what I had done to her on that rooftop. But it would never amount to how much I hated myself. Still, I just need a night off from the self-loathing. Just a small escape from my guilt. But could I even do that? No! She had to come to
my
favorite place. Where
my
friends were. Even with
my
occasional hook up! It was like she wanted to flaunt her repulsion of me. She wanted me to be reminded of what I’d done.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

The question was harsh on my tongue, but I was tired of being nice. When I was, she pushed me away. When I was a dick, she apologized and begged me to stay (in Toby’s life). It was some sick, twisted game of cat and mouse, and I was tired of playing.

“Well?”

She looked stunned, as did Velvet. But what did she expect? She knew Blaine worked here. She had to have known he would tell me she was here. Hell, if I hadn’t had my back to the crowd all night, too busy wallowing, I would have probably seen her myself. But I didn’t feel like being social. And I damn sure didn’t want to risk running into anyone I’d slept with. I wasn’t in the mood.

“Um, I, uh . . .” she stammered. She had the nerve to look surprised to see me. “Hey, um. I’m just . . .”

Velvet practically pushed her aside in an act of defense and stepped into my face. Since when did they become best-fucking-friends? “We’re here dancing, you bloody wanker. Now if you’re quite done pestering us, feel free to bugger off and pull the stick out of your arse.”

Normally, Velvet’s dirty mouth would have had me rock hard. The insults were practically foreplay for her, but sex was the farthest thing from my mind with Raven standing in front of me. As gorgeous as she looked tonight in a tight tank top and jeans, her hair a wild mass of soft waves, I wouldn’t allow myself to see her like that anymore. And considering she was rolling with Velvet, I could only imagine what she now thought about me and my perversions.

I took a step back and collected myself. I was going about this all wrong. Making the girl that was already very clearly afraid of me even more petrified would only make things worse.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I said, just loud enough that she could hear me over the music without having to invade her personal space. She gave me a stiff nod and a tight flinch of a smile, and returned to the drink between her fingertips.

I could see the way Velvet was regarding us, her eyes darting from the wariness in Raven’s gaze to the regret dimming mine. I didn’t want this turning anymore awkward than it already was, so I tried to mask it all with a grin. I was good at hiding behind a manufactured smile.
Shit,
honestly, I was a walking, breathing mirage.

“Hey, let me get you two ladies a drink.” I was already signaling Blaine, who had been watching the entire exchange between mixing drinks. Minutes later, he returned with three shots and a few beers. He knew I needed a chaser with tequila. Like I said, damn good bartender. Even better friend.

Velvet leaned in to grab her shotglass, moving in close to my ear. “So what brings Dirty Dom out tonight?”

I nodded towards Blaine and my other friends that were sitting across the bar, watching us like hawks. “My friend owns the place. Kinda like a home away from home.”

“That fuck-tastic piece of man is your mate? Bloody hell!” Then pressed in closer, her warm breath on my neck and her straining nipples against my chest. I could feel them pebble against the fabric, as if they were reaching out for me, begging me to taste them, suck them, bite them. I had done all of those things and more, but that was the past. I didn’t want to continue on that like that. Not if I could help it.

“You know . . .” she whispered, her voice husky with desire. “If your friend isn’t
too
attached to his girlfriend, I wouldn’t mind a little naughty fun tonight.” I knew when she spoke in that tone, she was horny. Honestly, I’d never spent any length of time with her that didn’t involve her naked and me inside her. But there was no way I’d go there with her, especially with another guy, let alone Blaine.

I gently pushed her back so she could see the disapproval on my brow. “No thanks.”

“Why not?”

I shook my head. Shit, I didn’t want to do this around Raven, but I assumed she already knew about Velvet and me. And it wasn’t like the purple-haired vixen was making her intentions discreet. I wasn’t ashamed of her. I was ashamed of
me.
And I didn’t like her insinuating that Blaine would ever be unfaithful to Kami.

“Why not? Because he
is
very attached to his girlfriend. And if he wasn’t, I’d rearrange that pretty little face of his.”

She laughed heartily at that, tipping her head back with an air of drama. I looked to Raven to see that she, too, was trying to stifle a snicker. What the fuck was so funny? I snatched up my shot and pounded it, slamming down the glass, and grabbed my beer.

“I fail to see the humor in what I just said,” I remarked putting the rim of the bottle to my lips.

“You? Rearrange someone’s face?” Velvet scoffed. “You’re a handsome bloke, but you’re hardly frightening.”

I peered over at Raven who was regarding the exchange with a raised brow. “Is that what you think too? That I’m . . . soft?”

She blinked at the question, then went for her own gulp of tequila. “No. Not soft. But not . . . hard either.”

“But I was hard enough for you the other night.” I took a swig, my eyes trained on her bemused expression from over the bottle. I knew the wording was crass, but fuck it. I was already three beers in, and that tequila had felt like golden fire in my veins. I signaled Blaine for another round.

“Yeah. You were,” Raven agreed. “But it’s so hard to tell, seeing as you’ve dismissed me. For
Cherri,
of all people.”

“Cherri!” Velvet trilled. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Please tell me . . .”

I gave her a look that screamed
“don’t say another word,”
but I was sure I had been made. Raven wasn’t buying it. She knew I had been sleeping with Cherri. Shit. Let’s just add her to the list too. I looked around. Was Alyssa the kindergarten teacher going to pop up suddenly? Lauren from the gym? The shopgirl from Neimans? The head cheerleader from 11
th
grade?

Blaine dropped off the round of tequila sans beer, and I grabbed mine immediately, not even waiting for the girls to touch theirs. Shit. I would need a lot more of these if we were going to play Dom’s Dirty Laundry.

“I heard a rumor,” Raven said before sipping her beer. “That you were one of Pink Kitty’s most valuable customers.”

“And who did you hear that from?” I chased the tequila with a slug of beer, even though I didn’t even need it at this point.

“Skylar.”

My hand was over my mouth just a millisecond before beer went spewing in Raven’s face. “Oh shit,” I coughed into my hand. “Fuck.”

“So it’s true?”

“Huh?”

“That you’re a whore. That you sleep with any and everyone that’ll have you.”

Her expression was amused, but I could hear the sharp edge in her tone. And the way those blue eyes bore into mine—unblinking, unrelenting—I knew that she was daring me to spout of some bullshit denial. She wanted to believe I wasn’t shit. And who was I to deny her the satisfaction?

“Maybe I am,” I shrugged. “Maybe I will.”

She grimaced with disgust. “Why do you do it?”

“Why do you care?”

As she glared back at me, her mouth still agape, I knew I had her. Why
did
she care? What was it to her who I slept with? It wasn’t like we had ever or would ever have sex.

She grabbed her shot, downed it, and slammed the glass, swaying a little. “I don’t.”

“Obviously, you do.” I looked down at the bar top where Velvet’s drink had gone untouched. We hadn’t even noticed that she’d drifted over to the dance floor and was grinding all over some dude in a flannel shirt and cowboy boots. Fuck it. I grabbed her shot and drank it. I was feeling some type of way right now, and if Raven wanted to go toe to toe, I was ready.

“About you? Please. You wish I did. I don’t need to touch the stove to know it’ll burn me. And looking at the company you keep, I’d say you burn pretty good. Am I right?”

I barked out a laugh at her analogy. “Not everything that’s hot burns, Raven. But I understand your fear. You talk a good game about taking chances and living outside the box, but admit it—you’re a scared little girl.” I swayed forward, closing the gap between us until the heat of her body engulfed mine. “And you’re fucking terrified of
me.”

“And why’s that?” Her voice was just a whisper a she shifted closer, leaning against me.

“Because of what I want from you. And what you want to give me.” It was all just words. All lies. I knew I needed to leave this girl alone, but old habits die hard.

She looked up at me, those bold blue eyes hazed with oblivion. They didn’t say,
“Dom, you’re full of shit, and I hate you.”

Hate, I could deal with. There was finality in it. Its acceptance would have been easy—cut-and-dried. But nothing was easy with this girl. So she gave me the one thing I didn’t need. The one thing that would prove to be the first fracture in my fortress of lies.

She gave me surrender.

T
HERE WERE HANGOVERS.

And there were
hangovers.

I was
hungover.

Fuck. Me.

Cracking open an eye had to have taken an hour. Focusing my vision had to have taken a good 45 minutes. And I swear the inside of my mouth was filled with vomit-flavored flour.

How the hell did I get home? And what the hell happened?

I lay there for several minutes, trying to retrace my mental steps. Ok, we were at Dive. We ate, we danced, we drank, we laughed, we saw Dom . . .

We saw Dom!

Shit. Shit on a cracker. Smeared shit on toast. Shit-kabobs on the grill.

That was when everything got hazy.
We were talking. There were shots. We lost Velvet somewhere. I needed to sit down. Dom introduced me to his friends. I was laughing my ass off about nothing and everything. Blaine tried to get me to drink water and brought me cheese fries. I hugged the pregnant one. I kissed Angel on the cheek. Angel’s a rock star! I leaned against Dom. He placed his arm around my waist. I nuzzled under his chin, relishing the scrape of stubble against my face . . .