Afraid to Fly (Fearless #2) (14 page)

I
F IT WERE POSSIBLE
for a mute kid to give you the silent treatment, that was exactly what I received from Toby all weekend.

So by Monday, I knew that I had to swallow my pride, pull on my big girl panties, and make shit right. Which was the complete opposite of my plan when it came to dealing with Dominic Trevino.

I had a late morning break between classes, so I jumped in my car and headed over to Helping Hands. I sat in the parking lot a good five minutes, giving myself a mental pep talk. I had to admit that it wasn’t that I just didn’t want to see him. A part of me was a little embarrassed. I’d acted irrationally, and I’d said things I shouldn’t have said. And even if he did deserve it—and he did—it wasn’t the time or the place. Bitch or not, I do have a lick of sense.

I stared at myself in the mirror, feeling as haggard as I looked. My hair was in a messy bun, tendrils of dark hair spilling every which way, and I looked tired. Luckily, I had my meager little makeup kit with me that I used for work nights. By the time I finished slapping on some mascara and lipgloss and had smoothed my hair into a neat ponytail, I felt marginally better about the task at hand.

His office door was half open—as it always was—but I couldn’t see him through the crack. I knocked anyway. I wanted to at least attempt to be on my best behavior.

“Come in,” he answered from inside. I took a deep breath and pushed open the door to find him at his desk, eyes diverted to a stack of files in front of him. He was so engrossed in whatever he was reading that he hadn’t realized I was there.

I shuffled from foot to foot nervously to avoid locking up with nerves. I didn’t even know why I was so freaked out about being here in his office, but the thought that we were somewhat alone . . . together . . . it just brought it all back.

The pain.

The rejection.

The anger.

The lust.

There once was a time when I wanted Dominic Trevino more than anything on this earth. I saw him in my dreams at night, and woke up with the sun to see him in the morning. And he couldn’t even remember my fucking face.

I get it. I was pathetic then. But that didn’t excuse his total disregard for others. If I had been one of those skanks that wore eight pounds of makeup and low-rise jeans with my thong hanging out, would he have remembered me? Or if I spread my thighs at the drop of a dime or offered to blow him in the bathroom, would I have been worthy enough for him to know my name?

No. Of course not.

But even as I stood before him, fidgeting with anxiety, I couldn’t find the strength to truly hate him. He was so beautiful, even after all this time. And the way his presence filled the tiny room, suffocating me with a mix of his intoxicating scent and heady pheromones, I found myself even more drawn to him. I was that pathetic girl again, and if anything, it made me hate myself.

As if just remembering that he had a visitor, he looked up, pinning me with those dark-lashed, hazel-green eyes. He seemed shocked at first, but the light in his expression quickly dimmed. He narrowed his gaze, and his mouth—oh God that mouth—puckered into a frown.

“Can I help you?” But it didn’t sound like a question. Unless that question was,
“What the fuck do you want?”

“We need to talk.”

His brows raised in mock amusement. “Oh really? I thought we did in the parking lot, when you accused me of being a narcissist and a phony. Did you forget something? Need to accuse me of being a puppy murderer too?”

“Dom . . .” The word was out before I could stop it. Only his friends and loved ones called him that. And I was neither. Right? “Look, about the other day . . .”

He lifted a hand, cutting me off from saying any more and climbed to his feet. “Don’t bother. I’ve heard enough. You’ll be happy to know that I’ve set Toby up with another mentor here, and I will do my best to stay away from him as much as possible. I’ve also heard from the school regarding the attack on Friday. They have a few leads and have questioned students, but I’m sure you already know that. I let them know that they shouldn’t contact me in the future with anything involving Toby, seeing as you’ve denied my help. However, his new mentor will follow up on anything further, and will contact you. Anything else?”

Whatever I had meant to say before coming in here quickly dissolved on my tongue, leaving the bitter aftertaste of embarrassment. He was still angry at me. My words had cut him deeper than I thought. And in turn, he was lashing out.

But not only that, he was leaving Toby. He didn’t realize it, but he was. And that kid had been acquainted with abandonment for far too long.

“He needs you.”

“What?” he sneered, still fuming.

“Toby . . . you can’t leave him. He needs you.”

Dom shook his head, but I could see that my admission had cooled him. “Apparently, he doesn’t. You said so yourself.”

“I was wrong.” There. I said it. Without the use of a curse or scowl, I might add.

“You were wrong?” He half snorted, half laughed and shook his head. His expression was . . . odd, to say the least. As if it hadn’t dawned on him that he was right all along, and that he really wasn’t all the hateful things I had spewed at him in my rage. “You were wrong.”

“I was. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.” I took a step forward, so I was just a few feet away from the front of his desk. I was sincere, and I wanted him to see it. And if it took me showing some humility and vulnerability to get him to keep working with Toby, then so be it. “It was completely out of line to speak to you like that and accuse you of those horrible things. I don’t think that about you, and neither does Toby. He likes you, and you need to know that’s not easy for him. So please . . . you can hate me all you want. You can think I’m the biggest bitch this side of the Mason-Dixon. But please don’t let my brother suffer for my mistake. He’s suffered enough.”

I sucked in a breath and waited for his reaction. Would he laugh? Would he humiliate me further by telling me to get out?

“Dammit,” he muttered before running a hand through his jet-black hair.

Breath held, heart racing, I watched as he came around his desk, closing the distance between us in just a few long strides. He still moved like a man who had full control of his body. As if he were comfortable in his skin. I envied that.

Dominic stopped directly in front of me, leaving just inches between the tips of our shoes. It was closer than what was socially acceptable, but I didn’t step back. I didn’t retreat. Not then, and not now.

“I could never hate you, Raven. Believe me, I tried.”

His words were confusing, but his face wore a mask of resignation. As if he had given up—or given in—to whatever friction crackled between us. On one hand, it seemed like animosity. But on the other, there was sexual tension so thick you could slice it with a knife. I’d always felt it when in his company. And maybe Dom was feeling it too, after all this time.

“Knock, knock, handsome!” a feminine, melodic voice trilled from behind us. I spun around just in time to see a beautiful brunette step past the threshold of the door. She looked at Dom, then me, then back to Dom. And as realization dawned on her, her mouth dropped into an
O
and her almond-shaped eyes grew twice in size. “Oh, uh . . . ? Oh!”

“Kami,” Dom said, stepping around me as if I were nothing more than a pothole in his path. Embarrassed, my gaze dropped from the gorgeous woman’s stunned expression, and that’s when I realized . . .

She was pregnant.

Pregnant.

And considering the way Dom rushed to her side and slipped an arm around her waist protectively . . . lovingly . . . it was his baby.

Oh my God. Of course.
Of course,
he would have a stunningly exotic girlfriend. And,
of course,
she would be pregnant with his child. And,
of course,
I would be standing here, looking like a fucking idiot in duck-printed scrubs, thinking that there were remnants of the past still lingering between Dom and me.

I heard him say, “Kami this is Raven. And Raven, this is—” But I didn’t let him get any further.

“Yeah. Got it,” I mumbled through a tightly clenched jaw. I was hurt. I was humiliated. I was pissed at myself for doing this shit once again! What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with
him?
Why be so adamant about being around me if he had a girlfriend and a baby on the way this entire time? Oh, shit, could they actually be married? Ugh! That lying, cheating sack of shit!

I collected what was left of my fractured pride and brushed past them both, not allowing my legs to stop moving until I was revving the engine of my car.

Fuck Dominic Trevino. And I didn’t mean that in the way I wanted merely two minutes ago.

“W
HAT WAS THAT ABOUT
?” Kami asked, still watching the door just as I was.

“I have no idea.” And I didn’t. I was just about to introduce Raven to Kam, maybe even invite her to join our standing Monday lunch date. I thought the two would really hit it off. Apparently not.

“She seems . . .” I knew what she was thinking.
Bitchy. Rude. Stuck up.
“ . . . pretty.” Good ol’ Kam. Never one to make a snap judgment.

“Yeah. She’s usually much . . .” Well, shit. I couldn’t say
nicer.
Raven was never nice. Tolerant, yes. Decent, ok. But nice? “ . . . more . . . polite?” Even I didn’t sound convinced.

“Don’t you think you should go after her? You may be able to catch her if you run.”

Me? Run after a chick? My name attached to that action didn’t even make sense.

“When have you ever known me to run after a woman?”

“Well, I’ve never seen you this intrigued by one you weren’t sleeping with either. Funny how that works, huh?” she smirked.

Funny as fuck.

“Nah,” I said, shaking my head. “Just let her go.”

If only it were that easy.

Today’s lunch special was BBQ brisket, and Mr. Bradley did not disappoint. We sat at the bar, shooting the shit with Blaine and CJ and listed potential names for Baby Jacobs, who was due for an appearance in only a couple short months. The proud parents had chosen to be surprised with the rest of us over the baby’s sex, so we had to be prepared for whenever he or she arrived.

“Dude, you totally have to give your kid a badass name, especially if it’s a boy,” CJ said between unceremoniously shoving French fries into his mouth. “I’m talking Falcon or Hawk. Or how about Bullet?”

We all just stared, waiting for him to break into guffaws and say,
“Just kidding!”
But he was dead ass serious.

“We’re having a baby,” Blaine deadpanned. “Not a superhero.”

“How do
you
know?” CJ retorted with a straight face.

Blaine returned his unflinching stare for a good ten seconds before turning to the rest of us and announcing, “Well, that settles it. CJ is officially out of the running for god-parent.”

“Thank God,” Kami mumbled beside me before swiping the pickle spear off my plate. She had already eaten hers and the three extra Mr. Bradley had added to her plate.

“If it’s a boy, how about the name Luke?” Blaine offered as he fulfilled a drink order brought over by Lidia.