Adventure According to Humphrey (2 page)

I love books, especially the ones that Mrs. Brisbane reads to us. Although she can be serious as a teacher, when she reads, she becomes a new person with all kinds of different voices that make my whiskers wiggle and my fur stand on end!

“Sorry we’re late, Mr. Fish,” she said. At least I think that’s what she said. “We brought along another member of our class,” she added. “Humphrey.”

Suddenly, I saw a large pair of round eyes surrounded by a large pair of round glasses peering down at me. “So this is the famous Humphrey!” Mr. Fish exclaimed. “Welcome to the library.”

“THANKS-THANKS-THANKS,” I replied politely, although I know all he heard was SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK.

“I’m Mr. Fitch, the librarian,” he continued.

So it was
Fitch
, not Fish. But he looked a little bit like a fish with his big round eyes and his large round mouth. Then there was that shirt with the black-and-white stripes and all that blue water behind him. What was all that blue water doing in the library? Was this the ocean after all?

“Humphrey, look at all the fishies!” Lower-Your-Voice-A. J. shouted in his loudest voice. Garth held my hamster ball up, and when I stopped swaying from side to side, I saw lots and lots of blue water filled with lots and lots of fish!

“It’s a, uh, naquarium,” A.J. explained.

“An
a
quarium,” Mr. Fitch corrected him in a kind voice. “A home for fish.”

Oh, yes, it was quite a home for fish. There were orange fish, silvery fish, fish with black-and-white stripes like Mr. Fitch’s shirt, big fish, little fish and more! There was even a tiny boat lying at the bottom of the aquarium, which started me wondering just whose boat it was and what had happened to the owner. The ship was small—about the right size for a hamster—but it didn’t look very seaworthy. What had happened to make it sink? Was it an accident, bad weather (not too likely in the library) or . . . pirates?

“What do you think, Humphrey?” Mr. Fitch asked.

“Eek!” I squeaked. It just slipped out.

Actually, I was thinking that I’d like to be out of the hamster ball so I could see better. But I was lucky to be in the library at all, so it wouldn’t be polite to complain.

“Hey, Humphrey!” Kirk leaned down close to the ball. “Why did the fish go the library?”

I knew it was one of Kirk’s jokes, but I didn’t have an answer, so I just squeaked politely.

“To find some bookworms!” Kirk gleefully answered.

“Oh,” I squeaked, even though I wasn’t sure that books had worms in them unless they were books
about
worms.

“Okay, folks, gather around,” Mr. Fitch told my classmates. “We have a lot to do today.”

As my friends sat on the floor, Garth gently set me down near him so I could start rolling my way around the room.

That’s when I got a better look at something even more amazing than the fish. Books! Red, blue, green, yellow, pink and purple books. Big, thick books and tall, thin books. Shelves of books all the way to the ceiling. Racks and stacks of books everywhere else. I didn’t know there were so many books in the whole wide world, yet here they all were in one big room in Longfellow School. I tried to make a sudden stop as one book caught my attention because of the pirate on the cover. And the pirate flag. It was hard to make out the title from behind the yellow plastic.
Jolly Roger’s Guide
. . .

“Attention, please!” Mrs. Brisbane said in her most attention-getting teacher’s voice.

I rolled a little closer so I could hear what she was saying.

“A test,” she said.

Oh, my, we were going to take a test and I didn’t have my little notebook and pencil with me. No one had even mentioned a test before we came to the library.

I still couldn’t hear very well, but I did hear Mr. Fitch say, “What floats?”

This didn’t sound like a spelling test or math quiz. I rolled to the front of the group, staring up at the aquarium for a closer look.

“Yes, Mandy?” Mr. Fitch said. I couldn’t see her, but she must have raised her hand.

“Mr. Fitch, I think we should take Humphrey out of the hamster ball so he can have some fresh air.”

My, what a nice girl Mandy was! I used to think her name was Don’t-Complain-Mandy Payne, but she hardly ever complained anymore.

“That’s a good idea,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

“I was thinking about what
my
hamster would like,” Mandy replied with pride in her voice. She did have a very fine hamster, thanks to me. And if I was let out of my ball, I could roam freely and get a closer look at all those beautiful books.

“Here,” Mr. Fitch said as Kirk opened the ball. “Put him in this.”

“This” turned out to be a little square on his desk surrounded by books. Because the desk was lower than the aquarium, I had a good view of what Mr. Fitch was doing.

“Class, Mr. Fitch is going to let us use his tank to do some tests to figure out what floats and what doesn’t—and why,” Mrs. Brisbane explained.

I stood up on my hind legs to get a better look. Although the world wasn’t yellow anymore, I had absolutely no idea what floats. But I knew something that didn’t: that little hamster-sized boat at the bottom of the tank.

H
ere is what I learned:

 

I saw it all with my own little hamster eyes, but when Mrs. Brisbane asked why the foil and clay boats floated when the balls didn’t, I was squeakless. So were my friends.

“Come on, try a guess, then,” Mr. Fitch said in an encouraging voice.

“What was the question again?” asked Pay-Attention-Art Patel.

“Why did the foil and clay boats float, but the balls didn’t?” Mrs. Brisbane patiently repeated.

Art shrugged.

“You look like you have an idea,” Mr. Fitch said to Speak-Up-Sayeh.

I stood up extra high on my tiptoes to see my shy friend.

“Well,” she said in a soft voice, “I think it’s because it’s spread out and there’s more water underneath it to hold the weight.”

Leave it to Sayeh to say something clever. I was so glad she wasn’t too shy to speak up anymore.

“Bingo!” Mr. Fitch said. Even though I thought Bingo was a dog in a song, I knew he was telling her it was the right answer. It just had to be. There was more to whether something floats or not than just how much it weighs. Once again, I’d learned something new, which is the amazing thing about school.

“Let’s try some more stuff,” said Heidi, without raising her hand again.

I thought it was a GREAT-GREAT-GREAT idea, but suddenly a loud voice that did not belong to A.J. said, “Excuse me for interrupting. I need to check the temperature.”

I recognized that voice right away. It was big. It was bossy. It was, of course, the voice of Mrs. Wright. Who else but Mrs. Wright would be checking the temperature of the library? It wasn’t even sick!

“Is something wrong, Mrs. Wright?” the librarian asked.

“I believe the temperature control is not working properly,” she said. “And as the new chairperson of the Committee for School Property, I need to keep track.”

Mrs. Wright taught physical education at Longfellow School. Thank goodness she didn’t teach in Room 26. In physical education, they play all kind of games and sports, which have rules.

Mrs. Wright loved rules.

Mrs. Wright loved her whistle.

Mrs. Wright didn’t love me.

“Come on in,” Mr. Fitch said.

Mrs. Wright scurried across the room in her puffy white shoes. She headed for the temperature control on the wall. But before she reached it, her puffy white shoes stopped right in their tracks next to the edge of my table.

“What is
it
doing in here?” she asked huffily.

“It?” asked Mr. Fitch. “What’s an
it
?”

It was pretty clear what “it” Mrs. Wright was talking about. She was staring right at me.

“The rat,” she said.

Mrs. Brisbane quickly corrected her. “Hamster.”

“Whatever,” Mrs. Wright replied. “He doesn’t belong in the library.”

Mr. Fitch smiled. “Because he’s not a book?”

“Because he’s out of his cage. It’s unsanitary! What about his
waste
? Where will that go?”

It was very quiet in the library until suddenly Kirk laughed. “She means his
poo
!” he said.

The word
poo
started the rest of the class laughing out loud. Heidi and Gail giggled. Kirk and Richie rolled their eyes and elbowed each other. Even Miranda and Sayeh chuckled. Mr. Fitch bit his lip, while Mrs. Brisbane shook her head.

My poo is just a part of life, but for some reason, it makes children giggle. And it sometimes makes grown-ups nervous. I don’t know why, because I keep my poo FAR-FAR-FAR away from my food and everything else in my cage. In my view, you won’t find a cleaner animal than a hamster.

Mrs. Brisbane took two steps toward Mrs. Wright. “What waste?” she asked. “I don’t see any waste.”

“You know,”
said Mrs. Wright.

“Weren’t you here to check the temperature?” asked Mrs. Brisbane, looking Mrs. Wright right in the eyes. “It does feel a little
chilly
in here.”

That caught Mrs. Wright off guard. “Really? I thought it was a little warm,” she said, hurrying toward the temperature control.

While Mrs. Wright fiddled with the control, Mrs. Brisbane continued talking to us. “Class, we’ll be returning to Room 26 now. But we’ll be coming back soon because Mr. Fitch will be helping us with the new unit we’re beginning,” she said. “I’ll tell you about it a little later today.”

Surprisingly, Sayeh raised her hand. Mrs. Brisbane called on her right away.

“Could we please check out some books?” she asked in her sweet, soft voice.

Mrs. Brisbane and Mr. Fitch exchanged looks. Then they both nodded.

“Okay,” said Mr. Fitch. “You’ve got ten minutes.”

 

Did you ever cross your fingers and HOPE-HOPE-HOPE for something special? I don’t actually have fingers, so I closed my eyes, crossed my toes (both sets) and made my wish.

Wishes are funny. Most of the time, they don’t come true. Sometimes they come true and later you wish they hadn’t! But once in a while, you make a wish and it happens and it’s a good thing. That’s what happened in the library. I wished that Mrs. Brisbane would pick the pirate book about Jolly Roger. I couldn’t check it out because I don’t have a library card.

And what do you know—she did!

“YES-YES-YES!” I exclaimed as Garth carried me out in my hamster ball. I was so happy that when I saw Mrs. Wright leaning in over the temperature control as I left, she didn’t even worry me.

Not very much, anyway.

 

My next wish came true after lunch when Mrs. Brisbane began reading that book to us. The full title was
Jolly Roger’s Guide to Life,
and it was about a boy and a girl named Violet and Victor who are sent to spend the summer with their mysterious uncle J.R. You can imagine their surprise—and mine—when he turns out to be a pirate called Jolly Roger and he decides to teach them to be pirates, too! Then they set sail to find lost pirate treasure. My fur tingled and I was hanging on every word when the teacher suddenly closed the book.

The other students groaned and I was unsqueakably disappointed until Mrs. Brisbane said she wanted to tell us exciting news.

“Og, did you hear?” I squeaked with delight. “Exciting news.”

“BOING!” my neighbor answered in his odd, twangy voice that green frogs like him have, but he didn’t sound particularly excited.

“The reason we talked about what floats is that tomorrow, we’ll start a project about sailing,” she said. “We’ll be doing sailing problems in math and science, and then you’ll start building your own model sailboats.”

My friends murmured excitedly while Mrs. Brisbane paused and then cleared her throat.

“Three weeks from tomorrow, if the weather is good, we’ll go to Potter’s Pond for a contest to see which of your sailboats can get across the water first. We’ll have a picnic and prizes and maybe . . .” Mrs. Brisbane paused again. “Hidden treasure!”