Addicted to You (18 page)

I rested my hand against his T-shirt, loving the feel of worn cotton under my palm. It was comforting, like Colby. I'd always feel safe with him. “I hate my brother.”

“He's not worth your time.”

“He's made me feel small and worthless. Childish. Hotheaded. You name it, he's done it. And all along it was him.”

“You're better than all of them, Isla. I never wanted to tell you this about your family, but now I realize I should've done it sooner.”

“It's okay.” I traced the letters across his shirt with my nail. “You were protecting me. I'm not mad about that.”

“Anything for you, Isla.”

I lifted my head and stared into his eyes. How could I not love this guy? It may have started young with nothing more than an infatuation, but look how far we'd come.

“Colby?”

“Yeah.”

The front door clicked as it was unlocked and I reluctantly pulled away, knowing that was protocol. Landon walked in, Colby got far away from me. It was probably for the best considering the words
I love you
had been resting on the tip of my tongue.

But to my surprise, Colby didn't bolt from the couch, or scoot as far away as possible. He stayed right where he was, pressed thigh to thigh with me.

Landon walked in and smiled. “Hey Isla, saw your car”—he paused as he took in the scene laid out before him, then headed into the kitchen—“outside. Did y'all already eat? I'm starving.”

“Mom sent you some food. It's in the fridge.”

“Cool. I'm going to hit the shower first,” he said as he walked past the dining table then disappeared down the hall.

“I guess I should go. You've had a long day and I have to work in the morning.”

“Yeah, okay.” Colby looked away then back at me. “How about a going-away party? Can I throw you one?”

“Oh, you don't have to do that.”

“I want to.”

I smiled. “If you want. Nothing big.”

“Okay.” He smiled back. “It'll be fun. Let me know what your work schedule looks like and I'll check with Landon.”

“Sounds good.” I stood and he followed me to the door.

“It's not going to be the same without you around, you know?”

“I try not to think about how much I'll miss Port Lucia.” I stepped out the door and added, “or you.”

“I, uh, I hope you have a good night. I'm sorry to unload everything on you. I'm here if you need to talk.”

“One more question.”

“Sure.”

“Did my car accident happen before or after it was settled?”

“It happened the same week.”

I stared up at the sky, wishing the clouds weren't hiding the stars. I could've used a little beauty right then.

“I think that was Mom's breaking point. Honestly surprised she didn't shatter sooner.”

“Still not your fault, Isla.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Guess it's just going to take some time for that to really sink in.”

“It's a lot to take in.”

“Thank you though. I'm glad you told me.” I forced a smile. “Good night, Colby.”

“I'm always here.”

As I was getting into pajamas that night my phone buzzed with a message. I glanced at the screen, then lifted my phone when I saw the name.

Landon:
You know he loves you, right?

I half smiled, amused by Landon's determination not to let this go.

Me:
Nope. I don't.

Landon:
I saw it. On the couch.

Me:
Oh, that's not what that was. We'd just had a moment. He told me about Luis.

Landon:
I'm sorry. You okay?

Me:
Been better.

Landon:
I bet.

Landon:
But he does love you.

Me:
I don't know about that.

Landon:
You'll see.

All I could do was laugh and shake my head.

Me:
Good night, Landon.

Landon:
Night!

I set my phone down with a smile. Though I wasn't sure if love was an accurate description of his feelings, something had changed between Colby and me. From the kiss at Grandma's party to the way he looked at me tonight, something more was there. And for once, this didn't just feel like wishful thinking.

The two weeks leading up to my going-away party flew by. Work had me scheduled almost every day, and my off times were spent studying. I'd hardly seen Colby, but he'd send me an occasional text checking in or making plans for the party.

But finally the big day arrived, which also meant my moving away was imminent. It was bittersweet. I had ten days of school left before finals. Then it was the holidays and move-out day. It was all coming on fast. Too fast.

I pulled my hair into a ponytail, then slipped on my tennis shoes, and headed out to see if Grandma needed help in the kitchen. Though she wasn't attending my party, she'd wanted to make some food for me to take. Neither Colby nor Landon would turn down that offer.

She stood in the kitchen, staring at her phone like it was a foreign object or possessed, or maybe both. God, I would miss her.

“Problems?” I reached into the cabinet and pulled down a glass.

“This thing keeps pinging at me and I don't know why.”

I hid my grin as I filled my glass with water.

“I still don't know why I need this thing.”

“Just in case, Grandma. Like if your car breaks down or you need help. Or maybe just so I can say hi when I move away.”

She nodded. “I know, but does it need to be so fancy?”

“It's not even the newest model.” I laughed. “Maybe it's a notification. Let me check it.”

Her mailbox had over thirty messages.

“Grandma, you see this little red number?”

“I can barely see my breakfast. How am I supposed to see that?
Que pequeño.
”

“Well, I know it's small, but it means you have emails.”

“
Ay,
who has time for that?” She tossed her phone onto the counter and slid an oven mitt over her hand. “Are you excited about the party?”

“Yeah. It will be fun. Are you sure you don't want to go?”

“Nobody wants a
vieja
at the party.”

“Grandma, you are not an old lady. And everyone loves you.”

“It's okay,
mija,
you enjoy yourself. But right now, why don't you help me by getting down the flour.”

“Of course.”

She smiled back at me, then kept chattering the entire time we baked.

Grandma and I were two of a kind, and it was clear where I found my love of talking, but when I spent time with her I also found my love for listening. She beamed positivity. Too bad Dad hadn't inherited any of her qualities. Grandma always swore he was like his father who, no coincidence, she'd divorced over twenty years ago. I hardly knew him, but had the impression he wasn't someone worth really getting to know anyway.

I considered asking her about what happened with Luis, suspecting she might have known, but a tiny fear that she didn't and I'd be the one to break it to her held me back. I couldn't bring down her spirit. I know how I'd felt after hearing it; I could only imagine how she'd feel.

Once she'd assured me I'd done everything I could to help her, I started getting ready for the party. Considering I was taking over enough food to feed an army, I decided to get there early.

After showering, fixing my hair, and putting on makeup, I settled on wearing the same dress I'd worn to Grandma's party. I really loved it and probably wouldn't get the chance to wear it again. Might as well get another use out of it.

Grandma helped me load my car, then sent me on my way with a kiss and ten dollars. I had no idea what I needed ten dollars for, but she insisted I take it. Maybe it was gas money, or just in case I needed to take a cab home. I really had no clue and would just drop it back in her purse later anyway, so to avoid argument, I thanked her and slipped it in my pocket.

When I pulled up to the guys' house, I sent a text asking if one of them could help me carry in all the food.

Landon appeared almost instantly.

“Hey.”

“You're like a puppy at dinnertime.”

He grinned. “Your grandma should open a restaurant.”

“You'd keep her in business.”

He chuckled as he stacked dishes on top of one another, then carried them inside. I followed with the rest.

Colby stared at the spread as we set it on the table. “Damn, has she been cooking for a week?”

“Since five this morning. I told her she didn't need to, but she enjoys it. I helped with the cookies though. And the salsa.”

“Aw, look at you being all domestic,” Colby teased, and I grinned.

“I can cook, just never have to with Grandma around.”

“I'm sure she's taught you well though.” Colby nudged my shoulder. “Let's get you a drink. Landon, mix her up something special.”

“Nothing too strong,” I quickly added. “We've got a lot of day left.”

Soon everyone else started showing up. Taylor and Brandon got there as well, and it felt like any other get-together. But it wasn't…because it was my last, for a while at least. There'd probably be others when I came home for visits, but it wouldn't be the same. I couldn't just pop over here whenever I felt like it. There'd be no more late night impromptu bonfires. Colby wouldn't show up at work for a bite to eat. This was really it. But it wasn't just the people; it was everything. My entire life had been spent here. Port Lucia was home.

A sensation trickled through my chest. It was a little painful and heavy, and exactly the emotion I'd been avoiding since getting my nursing school acceptance letter.

My gaze skimmed the crowd until it landed on Landon. He nodded his head as a few of the guys talked his ear off. I smiled, loving his sociability, then moved on, taking in the ocean, the sky, the beach. I even spotted the youngest Callahan. Owen. While Landon was adored by the over-sixty crowd, Owen attracted the under-twenty crowd. Not that I doubted Landon's ability to make any girl swoon—he was approachable, friendly, and easy to talk to, whereas Owen, well, he had this cockiness about him that I think made girls feel almost flattered to get a moment of his attention. I didn't doubt that one day that attitude would get him in trouble. I continued scanning the crowd until I finally spotted Colby and my chest tightened further. The only word to come to mind was heartache.

This was home.

Colby
was home.

I hadn't even moved yet but I was homesick.

It was probably the worst reason to drink more, but I needed something to numb this feeling. It was a party, after all. I should be having fun.

Landon appeared in the kitchen right then.

“Just the man I was looking for.”

“Oh? What's up?”

“I need a drink. Something stronger than the last one.” I quickly added, “But it still needs to taste good.”

“Hmm…okay. I can manage that.”

He turned to the bottles lining the counter, looking through each to see what he had to work with, then got busy making me a drink. “So have you and Colby talked much?”

“Not really. Why? Is he avoiding me or something?”

He chuckled. “You always presume the worst?”

I shrugged. “When it comes to him, it doesn't seem safe to be optimistic.” I leaned against the counter and stared out at the crowd. “I'm going to be gone soon. The opportunity is passing. And maybe that's for the best. I mean if we can't even manage a here-and-now relationship, what makes me think we'd be any good at a long-distance one?”

“While I hear what you are saying, I will mention that I think he's going through a little rough patch in general. I think he's trying to figure stuff out and make decisions that will keep everyone happy. You should talk to him. He could use a fr—he could use you.” He handed me a red cup. “See what you think.”

I sipped the drink. “Mm, perfect. Keep them coming.”

He laughed. “Seriously?”

“Totally.”

“If you're sure, I'll make a pitcher. It'll be in the fridge and you can help yourself. I'll even hide it in back so none of the guys get to it before you can.”

“Sounds good.” I grinned. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Take it easy though. They may taste sweet but I promise you they have their fair share of alcohol.”

I gave him a thumbs-up. “Got it.” As I made my way out of the kitchen, I ran into Taylor.

“Hey girl. You started packing yet?”

I sighed. “Nope, but I definitely need to add that to my to-do list.”

“Are you excited?” Her eyebrows bunched together as she studied my face.

“Um, yeah?”

She laughed. “Is that an answer or a question?”

I shrugged, not wanting to admit all my thoughts out loud, knowing they'd bring me down even further. The best thing to do right now was to push all my sadness far from my mind.

“Well, if you need help give me a call.”

“I might have to take you up on that.” I took another drink, happy that it felt like it'd do the job. I'd be buzzed and worry-free in no time.

The best place for some solitary chugging was the beach. I pushed through the crowd and out the little fence surrounding Colby's backyard. I'd planned to just find a nice spot in the sand but when I saw Colby had beat me to it, I was compelled to sit right down next to him.

“Hey.”

He looked up, his eyes widened. “Hey, what are you doing out here? It's your party. Go have fun.”

“This is fun. I love the beach. It's getting cool though.”

“I have a sweatshirt in my room. I can run—” he started to stand but I stopped him.

“It's okay. Just hang out with me?”

“Of course.”

We sat in silence for several minutes. The ocean was calm, considering the breeze was light, but the lower the sun sank the more the temps dropped, and even the lightest brush of wind felt chilly.

I'd been watching Colby for a while and he'd seemed completely unaware, so lost in thought I couldn't help but wonder where his mind was. “What are you thinking about? Right now.”

“Fishing.”

“And what about it?”

“I don't know if I want to anymore.”

“Then maybe you should take a break.”

His knees had been pulled up to his chest, his arms casually draped over them, but with a big sigh he stretched his legs and rested his hands in the sand behind him.

“And then where does that leave me?” He stared at the ocean, never blinking, like his mind was a million miles away. “It would be so much easier to leave my problems behind rather than face them. They have no solution, so why bother?”

“So what are you thinking?”

“Well, fishing season is dead in the winter. Business at the store slows as well. Dad doesn't need me around for a few weeks so maybe I'll visit my cousin Mason. I'd only be three hours away. Close enough to come home if needed.”

“That's not a bad idea. You could clear your head.”

“Exactly.”

“I think you should do it.”

He pulled his legs back in and turned to me. “Thanks, Isla. I guess I just needed someone to tell me it was okay.”

“There's nothing wrong with taking a break. And you never know, maybe you'll even find something you love more than fishing.”

He stared at me, his eyes set on mine, then nodded. “You're right.”

“Okay, I'm really cold now and my cup is empty. So I'm going to head in and get a refill. You want to join me?”

“I'm going to hang here a little longer, but if you're cold just grab the sweatshirt from my room. It's on my bed.”

“Thanks.” I stood, dusted the sand from my dress, then smiled at Colby. “I'll be around if you want to talk.”

His gaze had lowered to my dress but popped back up. “Oh, yeah, thanks.”

Once back inside, I made my way to the kitchen for my refill. I didn't quite make it back out because I got stopped by one of the guys, who had a ton of questions about nursing school. He was interested in going one day, and I loved being able to offer him suggestions and guidance. Before I knew it my cup was empty again, so I refilled it and finally ventured into the living room.

Taylor came up to me looking upset and informed me that she and Matt had gotten into an argument. It was their first, so it was apparently monumental. I listened to her but before I even really had a chance to say anything, Matt appeared, wanting to make amends.

That was easy enough. And my drink was good. But empty. Back in the kitchen, I filled my cup and was dragged into a random conversation about beer brands. I didn't have much of an opinion but I had to cast my vote. When I finally was able to escape the masses, I realized somewhere along the way I'd skipped over buzzed. I'd failed to heed Landon's advice and I drank way too quickly. The alcohol had finally made its way through my bloodstream and I was drunk. Oops.

Maybe fresh air would help. But it was cold so I squeezed past Matt and Taylor, who'd made up, and then some, in the hallway and went to Colby's room to grab the sweatshirt.

I saw the muscles in his back that came from years of working on his dad's boat flex as he tugged off his shirt. And it was hot.

He turned just then to grab a new shirt from the bed and saw me.

“Hey, some dumbass spilled their entire drink on me.”

I nodded, or at least meant to, but I was now admiring his stomach and the way the slightest hint of muscle appeared when he moved. He wasn't like Landon, who worked out to have muscle—nope, he just worked hard and got them. And I most definitely appreciated the difference.

“Isla?”

“Mmm?” It was supposed to be a question, like “Yeah?” But came out more like I'd just been served a delicious dessert.

His mouth cocked into that super sexy half grin. “You okay?”

Everything about him was divine. From the messy hair, to the smirk, to the body…“Perfect.”

“You look a little drunk.”

I shrugged.

He looked amused. “Why are you closing the door?”