Authors: Renita Pizzitola
“Hey, laugh all you want, but just remember half of my team is completely sober. We have a fifty-percent advantage.” He slung his arm around Taylor.
“Or disadvantageâhave you never seen me play beer pong? I kind of suck,” she admitted.
“Shh, babe, this is the mental game. We're just psyching them out. I know you can't play for shit.”
I lifted my hair into a ponytail and pulled a hair tie from my wrist. “You do realize we can hear you, right?”
“You do realize I can hear you too?” Taylor added. “I mean, way to boost my confidence right before the big game,” she teased.
“I know, babe, and I'm sorry, but lookâit's working. Isla's getting ready for a throwdown. She's pulling her hair up and she's all âHold my purse.'â”
“Purse?” Taylor mouthed.
I shrugged and forced back another smile. Game face, right?
Landon chuckled. “Okay, okay, let's go. Someone needs to get their ass kicked before they just pass out altogether. I'm winning this game by merit, not default.”
As the game started, I found myself letting go. Colby drifted from the forefront of my thoughts. Forgotten were Landon's supposed feelings for me. And I had fun. I laughed at how incredibly off our aims were. And when one of us succeeded by chance, we'd turn to one another and high-five without even a second thought. We were in sync. We were having fun. And we were winning. The perfect team.
Landon tossed the final ball. It bounced effortlessly into a cup, and I squealed as he covered his mouth with his hand. “Ohh, is that what I think it is?” he mocked the losing team. “Isla, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe we just kicked some serious ass.”
I stared at the table and nodded, my expression one of mock-seriousness. “Why Landon, I believe you are correct.”
He then busted out some sort of celebratory end zone dance.
Laughing, I nudged him and shook my head. “Okay, okay.” But when he wouldn't stop, I finally grabbed both his hands. “Oh my god, we won. Now don't spoil that with whatever this is!”
He flipped his hands so that he was now holding my wrist and tugged me into his arms. Then he pumped one hand into the air and shouted, “Victory!”
I laughed even harder, realizing that the one thing I really had to give Landon credit for was he knew how to have a good time. He was the epitome of fun. I glanced up just as he smiled down on me.
Yep. Definitely fun.
And interested in me. Without pause or hesitation.
Unlike Colby. Who hesitated. Every. Freaking. Time.
Speaking of whom, I'd just noticed. Silently standing in the corner of the room. Gaze glued to where Landon and I stood, still arm in arm.
Colby didn't look too happy as he silently made his way through the small crowd before disappearing down the hall. But I couldn't decide if that made me sad or a tiny bit pleased. Maybe both? Obviously I cared way too much about the guy to want him miserable
but
he needed a wake-up call. If he didn't like seeing me wrapped in a Landon-hug, he probably shouldn't be shoving me into one. Because that's exactly what he was doing. He'd made it clear that I should give things a try with his brother. And, well, that stung. It seems I'd been clear enough on my feelings toward him. And how had he responded? He'd offered up his brother.
“Hey, do you mind if we take off soon?”
I turned to Taylor. “Uh, yeah. Of course, no problem. I'm ready when you are.”
Geez, how long had I been standing there pondering my love life? Or lack thereof. I glanced around to ensure no one else had noticed me zoning out. But instead all I noticed were cups piled all over the kitchen. Guys leaning on the counters to avoid falling over. And a few already sprawled out on the couches. Whoa. When had everyone gotten so messed up?
“This place is a disaster.”
“I know.” Taylor glanced around. “Matt passed out.” She nodded toward the recliner. “Landon said just to let him sleep it off because there's no way I'd be able to get him home.” She shrugged. “Looks like it's all downhill from here.”
“No joke.” I looked at the kitchen again, wondering if I should throw away some of the empty cups, just as a guy spilled his drink all over the counter. “Um, no point in even trying to fix this. Until all the guys are gone, looks like it's just going to get worse.”
“That's what I'm thinking too.” She sidestepped to narrowly avoid a collision with a guy I didn't even recognize. He muttered what sounded like a half-assed apology and Taylor's mouth turned down slightly. “Yeah, I'm definitely ready to go.”
“Me too. I'm going to let Landon know so he doesn't worry about us, and then I'll meet you outside.”
“Sounds good.” She glanced around one last time, as if assuring she had a clear path, then beelined for the door.
I could only imagine what this must look like to someone who hadn't had a single drink all night. Not much about the guys' partying bothered me, but sloppy drunks were another story, and clearly, most of them were headed in that direction.
When I spotted Landon about to head down the hallway, I called his name then maneuvered my way through the drunk-guy obstacle course.
Landon eyed the crowd, then smiled and nodded when he finally spotted me. “I thought I heard you. What's up?” He leaned against the wall leading to the bathroom and bedrooms.
“We're heading out.”
“Already?” His mouth turned down. “It's early.”
I laughed. “Actually it's not, but either way, Taylor's my ride and she's already waiting for me outside.”
His expression brightened. “You could always stay the night.”
“Thanks, but I don't really feel like fighting the guys for couch space,” I teased.
His frown reappeared. “I'd never make you sleep on the couch.”
“Well, I'd never steal your bed.” I nudged him and smiled. This conversation clearly wasn't going anywhere so I leaned in for a final goodbye hug to help wrap it up. Except maybe my signals were off. Or my aim. Or maybe it was the lack of sobriety on the receiving end. Who knew?
But somehow I ended up with Landon's mouth pressed squarely on mine. I'd like to think shock combined with one too many drinks was what froze me in place for a second too long, but a little pestering voice in my head called me out. It was intrigue.
There was this little part of me that wondered if all of Colby's pushing me in Landon's direction served a purpose. After all, he knew us both better than almost anyone else. Did he see or know something that I was too hardheaded to see for myself? I'd been in love with Colby for as long as I could remember, and maybe that'd forced me to wear blinders and miss what was right in front of me. Could Landon and I have more than a friendship? Could there be chemistry and romance between us? After all, the kiss wasn't horrible. Or grossâthose were always the worstâ
but
it kind of also lacked spark.
I didn't feel the tingles on my skin or the flutters in my chest. Nor was there the warmth that pitted itself in my stomach and flushed my body like merely the memories of kissing Colby did. Landon was a great catch, and he'd make some girl insanely happy, but I was pretty confident that girl would never be me.
After satiating my curiosity, I pulled back. Landon was a skilled kisserâclearly he knew what he was doing and how to do it very, very wellâ
but
he just wasn't Colby.
Of course, Landon was so drunk I doubted he'd even remember this tomorrow, so I just smiled and said, “I think you need sleep.”
Before he could answer, movement drew my gaze down the hall to Colby's doorway, where he stood lookingâwell, I wasn't too sure what that expression meant. A dozen different emotions seemed to work their way across his face but I couldn't decide on the dominant one. Then he stared me straight in the eyes, his face now void of anything readable, and turned back to his room, shutting the door behind him.
But
Landon
had kissed
me.
Colby knew that, right? And to top it off, Colby had to see that it didn't mean anything to me. If anyone would know, it would be him. He'd kissed me. He'd seen what chemistry looked like firsthand. So was he seriously mad? At me?
My body tensed and my face warmed as I mentally replayed the quiet stare-down followed by the cold shoulder.
Anger crept its way up through my body, and it took everything in my power to not storm into Colby's room and tell him exactly how I felt. How dare he be mad at me? It wasn't like I'd asked for the stupid kiss. And yeah, maybe I didn't end it fast enough, but that was kind of his fault. He was the one pushing me into Landon's arms, after all. He'd lit the match that sparked my curiosity. No doubt it was quickly doused but either way, he'd created this mess with all his talk tonight. This had been exactly what he'd wanted of me, right? With Landon? Now he had the nerve to be pissed about it?
“I'm sorry.” Landon rubbed the back of his neck. “Shit, you look like you're going to explode or something. I, uh, I've been drinking and I thoughtâ¦well, I thoughtâ¦maybe? Um, look, I fucâ”
“No, it's not that. I mean, I think we need to maybe talk later. But you've been drinking and I've had a few myself so let's not worry about this tonight.”
“But are you mad at me?” He looked down, then peeked back up. “Because you look like you're gonna tear me a new one.”
“I'm sorry. I'm justâ¦It's not you. I need to get going. Taylor's waiting. But we'll talk later.” I backed up then called back, “Get some sleep. You're gonna have your work cut out for you tomorrow.” I motioned to the growing mess and smiled, hoping to show no hard feelings between us, then headed outside to Taylor who waited in her car.
I plopped in her front seat with about a dozen emotions of my own working their way through me. What had just happened? Landon kissed me. I let him. Colby saw. He got mad. I got mad. Then he gotâ¦weird. And Landonâwell, we needed to seriously clear up some things. But I had to let him down easy. That was, if he even remembered. But still.
What a mess.
I pressed my head into the passenger seat and groaned. “Can we just rewind to the part where I decided to come to this party? Because staying home would really have been the best decision I've made in years.”
“So if I take a guess, will you stab me with the nearest sharp object?”
I laughed. “Oh my god, are we still gonna do this?”
“If I were smart enough for my own good, I'd say no, because this is probably going to be like a Pandora's box of crap we can't put backâ¦but, honestly, I'm just dying to know now.”
“What exactly are you
dying
to know?” I mocked.
“Wellâ¦which one?”
“Which what?”
“It's just that half the night I was going to guess Landon, but then I decided it was for sure Colby, but thenâ¦well, I kinda think it's both. So I'm dying to know which one. Or is it really both?”
“Wait? Landon and Colby what? I thought the point of the game was to guess who
I
was interested in.”
“Yeah. I'm trying to decide if you got all dressed up tonight for Colby or Landon. But a part of me thinks maybe I can't tell because you haven't decided either.”
“I don't like Landon
and
Colby.”
“Are you sure? Not even a little? I don't blame you if you can't choose.” She lifted one hand in a defensive gesture. “No judgment. I'd have a hard time choosing one if they both liked me too.”
“Wait? You think they both like me?”
“I mean I'm not positive butâ¦yeah.”
I laughed. Like really laughed, because this night couldn't get crazier. “Well, I think you're possibly half right. Maybeâ¦just maybe, Landon has a tiny little thing for me.”
“It's not tiny. And I'm pretty sure Colby does too.”
“Colby and I are just friends. Best friends. People mistake that for something more, I think.” Hell, I sure did. “But that's it.”
“You sure?”
“The friend zone is a hard place to get unstuck from.”
She nodded as if I'd just answered all her questions.
“What?” I stared at her wishing my life made as much sense to me as it suddenly did to her. “Why are you nodding like that? I'm so confused right now.”
“It just all makes sense now.”
“Care to fill me in? Because I'm not seeing this clearly yet.”
“Landon likes you. You like Colby. And Colby is stuck in the middle.”
“How do you know I like Colby? And what do you mean âstuck in the middle'?”
“Just that. I don't know for sure, but if I had to guess, I'd say Colby has feelings for you. And I
think
it's more than just friends, but how do you choose between your brother and your best friend? Either way someone gets hurt, right?”
Whoa. “Holy shit, Taylor.” I stared at this girl who somehow used her outsider perspective to see deeper than I'd been able to, though I was buried right smack in the center.
“What?” She gnawed her lip. “Oh my god, I'm sorry. Did I overstep? I do that a lot. I just people-watch and thinkâtoo much, my parents always say thatâand then I start linking thoughts together but sometimes they make a lot more sense in my head and I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut.”
“No! Are you crazy? That was amazing. It would make a whole lot of sense and I'm just shocked I hadn't thought of this sooner.” I turned and stared out the passenger window. “I think I've been really hardheaded and selfish about this whole thing.”
“Selfish?” She half laughed, half snorted. “You're not a selfish person, Isla. Far from it. I don't think a single person who knows you would use that word to describe you.”
“But that's the thing. Nobody knows about this. Well, except Colby.” I took a deep breath, the truth wanting to escape. The burden of keeping it bottled up for so long made everything seem heavier than necessary, but if I confided in her, maybe it'd help. Maybe she'd offer advice, or if nothing else, just listen. Sometimes the hardest part about keeping a secret was stifling it.
“Colby and I hooked up.” I blurted. Then immediately regretted my word choice. We did more than “hook up” so why make it sound so trivial?
“As inâ¦sex?”
“Maybe? Let's just say stuff happened and I kind of thought maybe it would lead to more, but it's just been so weird between us ever since and I'm just not sure what's going on, but he's like pushing and pulling and my head is spinning andâ¦I'm rambling. I'm sorry.”
“It's okay. You know, I'm not here to judge you. Whatever happened between you is your business, but if you want to talk, I'll listen. If you want advice, I'll try to help. I'm not exactly an expert, considering I've had all of three boyfriends in my life. My brother tends to scare them off faster than I can date themâ¦but I can at least listen.”
“Please don't tell Matt. If this gets out⦔
“Isla, I wouldn't do that to you. Sure he's my boyfriend, but first, I'm not totally convinced he even listens to me, and second, it's not his business. It's not even mine, but if you trust me enough to confide in me, I'm not going to break that trust. I'm justâ¦well, I'm just flattered you even told me. And kind of surprised. You don't really talk about your personal life much.”
“I guess I'm just not used to talking to people besides Felicity, and we talked a bit, but she's always so busy now that she's moved away. And I used to have Colby to turn to, but now he is the problem, so I guess I just closed myself off while I tried to sort this all out. Problem is I'm slowly losing my mind. I think talking it out is long overdue.”
“Well, why don't you come hang at my place for a bit? You can talk. I'll listen. And, hey, I have a half pan of brownies with our names on it.” With a small smile, she lowered her voice as she said, “If you're wondering, yes, I ate the other half, so
please
eat some.”
“You don't have to ask me twice.” I laughed. “I love brownies.”
“Clearly, so do I.”
I smiled as the weight of boy drama slowly lifted. It'd still be there in the morning but at least tonight I could vent, complain, and maybe even do a little wishful thinking. Taylor had no idea how much I needed this. I glanced at her as she turned up the radio proclaiming her love of the current song. Orâ¦maybe she did.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I dug it out. The screen lit up with an incoming text.