ACV's 1 Operation Black Gold (37 page)

‘No man, don’t you see, we thought his name was Morrison but it isn’t, it’s pronounced Murison and the rest of them Adams, George, McAllister, then another funny name Cheyne, that’s how you pronounce it.’  I had this sinking feeling in my guts, looking round I could see I wasn’t the only one that knew what was coming.  His mate was shaking his head.  ‘Your blind man, ye want to stop playing with that dick of yours for five minutes.  Albania, there the bastards from Albania.’

‘Oh Jesus,’ exclaimed Andy coming off his wall.  A number of them stood up.

I was so fucking sick of this, you wouldn’t believe.  How much longer was this going to follow us around?

‘What are you on about?’  One of the younger troopers asked.

‘Fuck sake, the Bertrovich simulation, you must have done it.  Three fire teams, mortar, gun, rifle.’

‘Oh fuck aye, we got our arses whipped.’

‘Exactly boyo and so has everyone here else except this lot.’  He casually encompassed us with a wave of a hand.  ‘I don’t recognize the name Whitton though.’  He looked at me.

I shook my head and walked away.  ‘Platoon medic,’ Andy interjected thoughtfully.

‘That’s it boss,’ he clapped his hands.  ‘You were with the casualties and now you’re a surgeon eh.’  Davie folded his arms refusing to reply.  The questions started coming, voices rose but we remained silent.  When they quietened down

Taff approached again.  ‘What’s the matter boyo, cat got your tongue?’

‘I’m afraid I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about.  Don’t expect me to comment---’

‘Or speculate on something I have no knowledge about,’ he finished the sentence for me, ‘surprised?’  I was, but refused to show it.  ‘Oh we know it all, we even have psychological profiles on all of you, detailed history’s the lot.  What we don’t have is a detailed combat report.  We have one from the rebels but not you.  No one has.  We’ve been trying to recreate that battle for years and still don’t know how you did it and we want to know.’

‘It had nothing to do with….’

‘No,’ He stopped me again.  ‘We know you did it, the whole army knows the Albanians know, what no one knows is how.  No-one’s going to call in the MP’s or start waving fingers, all we’re interested in is just how.’

‘It had nothing to do----.’

He held out a hand to stop me and turned to his companions.  Something passed between them; each nodding in turn, finally Andy nodded his approval.  Whatever he was going to do now, they were all behind him.  It was nicely done.  ‘It doesn’t work like that boyo, not with us.  You see you’re asking us to entrust you with our lives and trust is a two way street.  If you can’t trust us, we’re walking and cancelling this program.  Your move kemosabe.’

‘This is ancient history man, can’t you just leave it?’

‘We still study the tactics of the Spartans, you’ve no chance.’

‘This isn’t really the time, place, or the right company,’ I added quietly.

He took a pistol from a large holster and slapped it on the table.  ‘If the merest hint of what’s said here today gets out, I will personally hunt down the perpetrator, man, or woman and kill them.’

‘Do you think you’ll have the balls boyo?’  I mimicked his Welsh accent.

He delved back into the holster and produced a silencer.  ‘It’s my specialty.’

I picked them up and fitted them together.  It was made from the same material as our new rifles and felt extremely comfortable.  I released the magazine.  It was fully charged with live rounds.  I reloaded it and cocked it.  ‘So what’s really sticking on your craw Taff; thought you’d been had by amateurs did ye and now you want to see if you’ve been mastered by masters.’  The chef had been putting up posters for decoration.  I snapped off two shots into the forehead of a chef holding up a plucked chicken.  If it hadn’t been for the slight kick, I wouldn’t know it had been fired.  ‘Well?’

A slight smile turned to a grin.  ‘That might have a little to do with it.’

‘I do like this pistol, tell you what, get me one of these and I’ll tell you a little story.’

‘I can’t do that.’

‘So it really isn’t that important to you after all.’

Now he was the one caught between a rock and a hard place.  His eyes swept past me to Andy then back.  ‘OK, it’s a deal.’

I unloaded the weapon and handed it back.  Lit up a cigarette, slid myself onto the nearest table and sniffed loudly.  ‘Well for a start, you’re missing a second gun group and a marksman with a sniper rifle.’  There was a whoosh of exhaled air as the tension in the room was released.  I took the opportunity to look over at my friends.  They seemed a little nervous, but that was hardly surprising, we were in the company of the best soldiers the world had ever known.  There was no doubting the fact that every one of them was probably blooded.

Andy was able to draw our positions on the blackboard from memory his knowledge was that good.  I started to recount the story passing on the chalk to the others as they passed on their individual actions in the battle.  I finished the story telling them of my systematic sweep of the battlefield and our retreat up the hillside.

When I’d finished the silence held for a long moment then they slowly got to their feet and started clapping.  I think their reaction pretty much took us all by surprise.  They moved in amongst us shaking us by the hand.  There was only one person in the room who wasn’t impressed and where ever I moved I could feel her eyes burning into me.

After things settled down I went onto tell them what we were trying to achieve and described the things we needed from them, like access to their bunkers to assess their medical facilities.  Davie described the medical code he’d devised to help them categorise wounds and to help us bring in the right equipment.  Someone suggested a beer and we all went across to the billet, they soon made themselves at home and the fridge began to empty rapidly.

Andrew had arrived with a couple of old friends.  I took them through to the office dragging Andy with me.  The incident had happened while he was here so it was best he found out now.

‘Good afternoon gentlemen, corporal.’  They nodded politely and propped themselves against a wall.

‘What’s happened?’  Andy asked.

‘Grab a seat and I’ll tell you.’

‘How are you keeping Andy?’

‘Fine sir, yourself?’

‘The same, how did your little exercise go?’

‘They thrashed us soundly.’

‘Really.’

‘Yes sir, not only did they wipe out my whole command, they also got the casualty away unscathed without so much as a scratch to themselves.’

‘That’s quite an achievement Jim, congratulations.’

‘Thank you Andrew.’

‘Now what’s happened?’

I handed him the paper and related the events of that morning, then of the subsequent arrival of the reporter to apologise and my suspicions about a photograph being taken and then the questions she asked.

‘What did you do then?’  Andrew asked.

‘Well, I handed it over.’

‘What!’

There was a moment’s incredulous silence.  I couldn’t help but grin.  ‘Aye, I told her it was a toy and snatched it back before she could get a good look.’

‘Did she fall for it?’  Andy asked.

‘I think so, I then told her there was only one rifle for one man in every fifty left back at home and there were men running around with bricks tied to spare parts to simulate weight.’

‘Christ that was fast thinking, do you think she believed that as well,’ Andy laughed.

‘I would say I was about 98% certain, she copped the lot.’

I could see Andrew’s mind switch over onto hyper drive.  ‘This could be a boon, If only we could find out if she’s actually writing an article on it.’  He raised an eyebrow at me.

Graham let out a sigh and tucked his notebook back into his pocket while I fired up the computer.  I was in luck, they used micro tell software.  It didn’t take me long to find the article and she was still writing it.  ‘It’s a bloody disgrace,’ the headlines screamed.  Below it was a very good photo of my hand holding onto the rifle and beside it one from Woollies, which looked remarkably similar.  Andy leaned forward.

‘That’s amazing, how do you do that?’

‘It’s also highly illegal.’

‘Be quiet Graham or I’ll never be able to make a spy out of you.’

‘Yes sir.’

‘You might have fooled her, but you’ll never fool an expert and I bet you a dime for a dollar there’ll be experts scrutinising these.’  Andy was right.

I was mulling over the problem.  ‘Maybe I can do something about that.’

I checked she wasn’t looking at the same page as us.  Then removed my rifle, made a quick copy of the toy and replaced it with that, a little touching up and.

‘Perfect are you sure you wouldn’t like to work for me.  I could certainly use you.’

Andy protested, ‘you leave him alone sir.  He’s ours now.’

I looked them both over.  ‘Personally, I think your both nasty pieces of work and I should just go back to driving taxis.’

‘Hurrah.’

‘Graham you wit you.’  I couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Graham.’

‘Yes sir, I’m sorry sir.’

‘No, no old chap, I believe you’ve’ been gagging for a field job for quite some time now haven’t you?’

‘Yes sir.’  I could hear the eagerness in his voice.

‘Good, then nip out to Woollies and buy one of those toy rifles.’

He was crushed.  ‘Yes sir.’

We couldn’t help but laugh.  ‘You’re going to have to reproduce this photo, break into the papers tonight steel the negatives, reproduce them then return them by morning, clear.  Oh, you can take your corporal here to help you.’

‘Yes sir, thank you sir.’

‘Hop to it then.’  They saluted and left in a hurry.  ‘You know Jim; you could have just given us an answer to a lot of problems.  Andy could you go and fetch us a beer before your lot drink the place dry, come back in about ten minutes.’

‘Yes sir.’

He waited until the storeroom door closed.  ‘Now Jim, what’s the reason behind all this, from the top pleases.’  I hated myself for it, but I told him everything and funnily enough felt better for it.  ‘You should have come to me with this before.’

‘I couldn’t.’

‘I do understand you know and sympathize, but you can’t take all the problems of the world onto your shoulders, broad as they are.  I would have gone along with what you have done but would have been able to take certain precautions on the way.  Give me this woman’s home address and don’t worry, I care about Samantha very much and will do nothing to harm her or her career.’

Andy appeared on cue so we spent the rest of the afternoon sipping beers and scheming.  The following day society magazine published a special report and all hell broke loose.  The Scots Army became the laughing stock of the world.  Samantha had passed judgment on me.  I had to call her Lt Bryce at all times and never go near her again.  Abie had been asked to shelve the football thing until the whole army was home.  On the upside Amanda had turned up one afternoon to see Samantha and had run slap-bang into Davie Whitton and so started the affair of the century.

I never saw Andrew for a week but when he did finally turn up, he was carrying a bottle of champagne in one hand and a box of cigars in the other.  ‘Congratulations old boy.’

‘Why, what have I done?’

‘The baby’s on its way home.’

‘Eh!’

‘The American’s have succeeded to Japanese demands.  The army’s on its way home.’

‘Yes, yes, yes.’

‘Have you any champagne glasses dear boy?’

‘A couple of black mugs.’

‘Yes, very appropriate.’

‘So why am I being treated to champagne.’

‘Isn’t it Obvious?’

‘No, not really, well actually not at all.’

‘Guns from Woollies, old boy, the yanks fell for it hook line and sinker.  They even stole the negatives from the magazine, of course the magazine bods blamed us and kicked up a stink, it all helped.’

‘Did it?’  I was still a little bewildered.

‘Yes, the American’s agreed to let the army go on the proviso they left all their weapons for forensic testing.  The Japanese agreed on the proviso providing the weapons would be returned at America’s expense once all forensic tests had been carried out.’

The penny dropped.  ‘Got ye, the yanks will never return them thinking we’re almost totally defenceless’

‘Exactly old boy and they can keep them too, I am afraid their only worth is in the department of antiques or in scrap.’