Across the Universe (9 page)

              The Seers are rarely ever wrong, and if the prophecy the book speaks of is really coming to pass, then it could mean the end of The House, the end of Elli.

              The end of me.

Chapter Fourteen

              Once Elli lets me go and I leave the Archives Room, I still seek comfort. Part of me wants to find Nim—to fall into her arms like I did Elli’s and close my eyes until the threat to The House has passed—but I know my mentor would be furious if she found out I went looking for information about the Key.

              I settle with unlocking the drawer that holds my universe and visiting the Watch Room. Within minutes I’m flying through the vastness of stars and galaxies, winding my way between planets and solar systems on my way to Earth. When I land on the beach I find the lake surface as still as glass. I inch my way up to the edge until the surf rolls against my toes and watch my reflection ripple across the water.

              I do not look anything like Noah. He’s all color and intricacies and uniqueness. I’m whitewashed, paler than the sand beneath my feet, my silver eyes hard like metal. For the first time since discovering my little blue planet, I want to be an actual part of it—to live among the people here and get lost in the world. But I can’t. I stick out like a sore thumb, a smudge against a clean backdrop.

              Noah finds me staring into the lake hours later, sneaking up from behind and wrapping his arms around my waist. I lean back into him, letting my head rest against his shoulder.

              “I’ve been worried about you,” he says.

              “You shouldn’t. I’ve been fine,” I reply.

              I spin in his arms, pulling him down by the collar of his jacket until his lips meet mine. I know I can’t be a part of this world but I can at least pretend, and this is the easiest way I know of doing that. Sparks shoot through my body, making my heart flutter against my chest as Noah runs his hands down my back and through my hair.

              I push him back onto the beach, out of the surf and into the dry sand. He tumbles down to the ground with me atop him, the soft silt breaking our fall as I wind my hands around his neck and my legs between his. Even then, the thought of the void creeps its way into my mind—its emptiness and endlessness.

              I push my mouth harder against his, trying to lose myself in the moment. I can feel Noah pulling back, surprised by my hunger, my need. He rolls over on the beach, laying me down underneath him and lifting his head away from mine to look into my eyes. I know he can tell, even between the warmth of our kisses, that something’s not right.

              “What’s wrong, Amara?”

              “The House is in danger.”

              Noah sits back on his heels. “Is there anything I can do?”

              I shake my head. “There’s nothing
anyone
can do. I have no clue what’s going to happen. If the Harbingers succeed—if they manage to destroy The House—I don’t know what’ll become of me. Or you, for that matter.”

              Noah gulps hard. “Stay. Here, with me, I mean. It’s safe here—safer than The House, at least. You don’t need to be the one to deal with all this.”

              “If not me, then who? Elli, the Archiver? Her world exists in books and parchment. And Nim—she’s never broken a rule in her life. The Leaders won’t listen to me, either. I’m alone in this.”

              Noah takes my hands, pulling me to my feet. He draws me into his chest, leaning my head against his heart until I can hear the persistent
thump, thump
against his ribcage.

              “You’re never alone,” he says. “You have me.”

              We stay like that for a long while. Time doesn’t matter when I’m wrapped up in his arms. When the sun hangs low on the horizon and casts pink shadows across the clouds, I finally pull away.

              “I should get back. Nim will wonder where I am.”

              “I meant what I said,” Noah replies as I turn around. “You can stay here. Be one of us—human. A God among men. No one’ll ever have to know where you come from.”

              I halt, glancing over my shoulder and catching the hope that flickers across Noah’s face. “You know I can’t.”

              “Not even for love?”

              I give him the slightest of nods, inclining my chin into my shoulder once before answering. “Not even for life.”

              I burst upward into a plume of gray smoke, flying off into the atmosphere and breaking out into the stars. The swirling galaxy disappears beneath me as I rocket past meteors and comets, planets and black holes. And then, with only a single thought, I’m back in the Watch Room, sitting in front of my universe as it floats above a clear basin.

              But something isn’t right. The quiet of The House has been interrupted by an enveloping scream that echoes clear through the door of the chamber I sit in. A beat goes by, and then more shrieks filter in from the hall beyond. A cacophony of shouts rings out, combining to create a chorus of mismatched voices that are tight with panic and fear.

              I jump to my feet, scoop my universe out of the bowl, slip the orb into my pocket, and dash to the door. When I step across the threshold a crowd has already formed. I am small enough to slip by, pushing to the front of the mob in order to see what all the fuss is about.

              Two Watchers lay prone on the ground. One is a man—pale and sickly, his silver eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling. Next to him is a woman, face down on the floor, her hair obscuring her jawline.

              A fist closes around my heart, forcing a gasp of air up my windpipe and over my tongue. Every member of The House looks alike—same hair, same eyes, same skin. Until I flip her over, I won’t know, but from where I stand, the body looks like Nim.

              I stretch a shaking hand out, a silent tear rolling down my cheek. I hesitate before brushing my fingers against her shoulder—

              “Amara! Thank God you’re alright!” Nim yells. I draw my hand back as if I’ve been burned and glance up. Nim emerges from the crowd across the hall from me, her eyes flashing a mix of concern and relief.

              My worries assuaged by the sight of my mentor, I crouch down over the two fallen Watchers. They don’t twitch or moan or move. Their eyes are glassy and empty, as if their souls have been ripped out and what’s left is the same nothingness that the void is made up of.

              “They’re dead,” I say.

              “How can that be? Watchers don’t die. They grow sick and we cast them into the void. We never let it get this far,” Nim replies.

              Something wet and warm hits my toes. I look down and find a puddle of silver blood under my feet. It comes from a gaping wound in the dead man’s side, just below his armpit. I reach out and roll the woman over. A similar wound rips through her chest, and turning her to face up reveals a pool of silver where she once lay.

“Seems like whoever did this doesn’t care about the law of The House as much as you do,” I add, rising to my feet. “These Watchers were killed deliberately.”

“But they look sick, just like Dena and Oman did,” Nim points out. She motions to the bags under the dead bodies’ eyes, the way their skin stretches hollowly over their veins.

“That can only mean one thing. Their killer destroyed their universes, and then moved onto them. They didn’t want to wait for the void to take them. They wanted us to see.”

As I say it, I know I’m right. Death isn’t something allowed in The House. The murdered Watchers are a message left for all of us, a way to let us know the rules no longer matter.

“Make a path!” a haughty voice calls from the back of the crowd. “Let me through.”

Dante bursts onto the scene. As he looks upon the dead bodies his face turns a horrible shade of green. The sight isn’t enough to sway his role as a Leader, however, because the next second he’s barking out orders to the mob of people surrounding him. “Find four Aiders, now! Have them cast the bodies into the void before anyone else has to look at them.”

He turns on his heels, backing up down the hall. I leap over the fallen Watchers to follow, and Nim trails close behind, wary of leaving me alone with Dante. I follow him all the way to the room with the drawers.

Dante strides up to the wall, pulling a key out from under his shirt collar. It’s silver like mine, tarnished and ancient, but its prongs are shaped in a strange pattern. He shoves the key first into one lock, then in another. Both drawers slide open automatically, and when he looks inside them the green tinge of his skin spreads down his neck.

“Their universes are dying, aren’t they?” I ask.

Dante whips around, baring his teeth in anger. “You dare to follow me here?”

I ignore his question and press harder with my words. “Hopefully you’ll believe me now. The House is in danger. Can’t you see that?”

“I see a little girl that’s very interested in the death of two of her fellow Watchers.
Too
curious for my taste.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“That it’s
you
. You’re behind all these attacks. Admit it, Amara.” His voice is a snarl that rips up his throat like a cornered animal. His accusation takes me aback, and I’m left at a loss for how to respond. Thankfully Nim steps in front of me and replies on my behalf.

“She’s done no such thing. You as well as anyone else knows it’s impossible for her to perform such acts of depravity. Only Harbingers can destroy universes. So unless you’re suggesting she’s one of them, you’d better recant your statement.”

“And what if she’s in league with them?”

“I happen to be aware that Amara only just recently found out Harbingers exist. There’s no way she could have been working on their side this whole time.”

“But you admit it,” I say to Dante. “There
is
a side. Something or someone is destroying universes and killing Watchers.”

Dante lets his face go smooth, his anger and fear hidden behind a mask of stone. “I admit no such thing. The Harbingers are completely under the control of The House, and there’s no reason for me to believe otherwise.”

“Isn’t this reason enough?” I shout, pointing at the drawers. “What else will it take for you to open your eyes?”

Dante rushes forward, slamming his hands into my shoulders. I fly into the wall, my back connecting painfully with the marble before I slide down onto the floor. My breath knocks from my lungs and I gasp for air as Nim bends at my side to help me up.

“You won’t address a Leader with such insolence again,” Dante seethes, “and this is the last time you’ll mention any business about the Harbingers turning against The House. If I catch you talking about it again, I’ll throw you into the void myself—with or without the consent of the court.”

He storms from the room as I clutch my sides and lean into Nim. I don’t speak again until I’m sure he’s out of hearing range. “Why is he being so stubborn?”

“He’s afraid,” Nim replies. “We all are.”

“If he’s scared of the Harbingers, then why’s he so insistent they’re under the control of The House?”

Nim sighs, leans against the wall. She rubs her temples hard before looking me dead in the eyes and revealing the truth. “Because the Harbingers
are
under the control of The House, Amara. They can’t do anything—destroy anything—without the say so of one of us. Which means—”

“—a member of The House is telling them to do this,” I finish for her. “One of us is behind this whole thing.”

A shiver rocks my spine and I slide down to the floor again, drinking it all in. It was easier to believe the Harbingers acted alone—that they were evil entities hell bent on bringing The House to its knees. Knowing that a fellow member is behind it all makes me question everything I know and everyone I see. I feel betrayed, like something dirty has crawled into me and turned my stomach into its home. No amount of scrubbing will ever make the sensation go away.

“Who could it be?” I ask Nim.

She comes to sit next to me, smoothing the fabric of her dress over her knees as she draws her legs into her chest. “I don’t know. But—dare I say it—there’s one person who’s been oppressive through all of this. One person who’s ordering everyone else to turn the other cheek. His role of Leader makes it quite easy for him to carry out an evil plan while we all sit here, twiddling our thumbs.”

I know who she means, and the idea makes me sick inside. If she’s right, there’s no way I can save the Key and defeat him all on my own.

I exchange a knowing look with her. Nim can’t say the name aloud, so I say it for her.

“Dante.”

Chapter Fifteen

              The lake surface is a dazzling reflection of the stars and moon above, painting a perfect picture of the universe I just swam through to reach Earth.

              I find Noah waiting for me on the beach, scribbling words down in a pocket notebook. He shoves it into his jacket when he sees me and rises to his feet, walking over to embrace me. I fall into him willingly, letting his arms wrap tight around my body and his chin rest against the top of my head.

              “You came back,” he says, as if the fact surprises him.

              “Of course I did,” I reply.

              “I thought you might not.”

              I pull back and look into his eyes. There is an emotion there I haven’t seen so clearly before: fear. It fills his gaze and pales his skin. Guilt fills me up like an overflowing cup when I realize I’m the reason for his terror. He’s scared to lose me, just as I am to lose him.

              My thoughts spill out into the open air, my voice soft on the breeze. “Every instinct should be telling me to run back to The House—to protect my home and turn you into a second priority—but my brain’s doing exactly the opposite. It’s like some unseen force is telling me to protect you, to watch over you just as I’m supposed to watch over my universe.”

              Noah squeezes me tighter. “Maybe it’s the same force that makes me feel so connected to you.”

              I try hard to hold back my tears as I admit the truth. “The House is drowning in blood. Watchers are dying. Someone is trying to destroy the balance. I’m caught in the middle, and all I want to do is spend time here with you. What does that make me? A traitor? A coward? In love?” I lean my cheek against his shoulder and close my eyes. “Is that what this is? Love?”

              “Maybe. I hope so. The idea that it isn’t makes me feel broken inside. Empty.”

              I don’t want him to feel broken or empty or fearful, and so I entangle one hand in his hair and gently press his mouth to mine. We sink into the cold sand, holding each other for a long time under the moonlight. Eventually I avert my gaze to the stars, counting them as if I’ll never run out of numbers.

              “You have to go back again, don’t you?” Noah says when he notices how distracted I’ve become.

              I nod. “I only came to check on you. To make sure you’re alright. But The House needs me. If Dante’s really behind all this, I have to convince the other members to cast him out. I don’t know when I’ll be able to come back again, or if I’ll still be alive to do so. He could easily convince the others to throw me into the void. He’s tried once already.”

              “You’ll survive. You have to. And then you’ll come back and stay here forever. I’ll show you everything good about Earth. The seasons, the holidays, the snow, the sun. You’ll never want to leave.”

              I smile and stand up. His hands trail along my arms as I pull out of his embrace, like his fingers still linger to hold me. “Wouldn’t that be nice, to see all of it outside of books. More than illustrations drawn on musty old parchment.”

              “One day,” he promises. “One day you’ll be free of The House. Free of its rule. And then you can live a life here with me.”

              I don’t bother telling him it will never happen—that even if I can escape the grasp of The House, there’s no future for us. I wasn’t born; I simply came to be. There is no beginning or end to my life, but there is one to his, and while he gets old and wrinkly I’ll stay the way I am now. He’ll get bitter, angry. I’ll want for more. It’s an imperfect plan that can only end badly.

              But I want him anyway, and as I burst into smoke and fly away, I can still feel his fingers playing across my skin.

              Elli is not behind the desk when I arrive to the Archives Room. I wander through curving tunnels and past thousands of dusty books before I find her standing in front of a set of shelves. She analyzes the bindings, mumbling under her breath as she ticks off each title.

              “Don’t you want to read more than what’s on the outside of them?” I ask.

              She jumps and turns to me. Her eyes are distant at first, but once they focus on me she grins. “Making sure everything is where it should be. Can’t be too careful after finding those pages missing the other day.”

              I shuffle my feet and stare at my toes. Noticing my unease, Elli adds, “What brings you here now? Another hunt for the truth? Need a question answered that only my books can give?

              “I went to see the boy again. Noah. I can’t stay away. I’m supposed to watch a whole universe, make sure it’s safe, but all I can do is look at him.”

              Elli lets her expression go soft. “I don’t blame you. There’s no love in The House—not like there is out there in the worlds we watch over.”

              “We kissed.” I don’t know why I say it, but it comes out anyway. Maybe I need to tell someone. Mark the moment in history when it happened.

              Elli’s gaze drifts far away again. She lifts a hand to her lips, brushing her fingers across her mouth. “A kiss. How did it feel? Momentous? Extraordinary? Tingly?”

              “All of the above.” I sigh, dropping to the floor and leaning my back against the shelves. “I have a horrible feeling that something bad will happen to him. To all of us. I want to protect him, but I can’t think of a way how.”

              “You could bring him here. Hide him in The House. Ferret him away in one of my tunnels and visit him in secret every night. Wouldn’t that make things so much more romantic?”

              I look up at her, confused. “Even if it won’t break every rule of The House, how is it even possible to take him home with me?”

              “Poor girl,” Elli says. “You don’t know half of what you’re capable of. Has it ever crossed your mind that you’re not the only thing you can turn to smoke?”

              “You mean I can transform others as well? Why hasn’t Nim ever told me that?”

              Elli shrugs. “Because she’s not supposed to. The House forbids anyone from doing it. You aren’t the first Watcher to get attached to a life form they’ve found in their universe. Can you imagine what would happen if everyone found out they could bring home a pet? There’d be strays hanging around everywhere!”

              “Has anyone tried before?”

              “Yes, once.” Elli inclines her head so that the shadows swallow up half her face. “It didn’t end well. A Watcher brought home an entity once—this huge, tentacle-covered thing—and Dante showed no mercy. Threw them both into the void the minute they showed up.”

              “He’d do the same to Noah, and I can’t let that happen. He’s too important.”

              “Important how?”

              I frown and scrunch up my cheeks, struggling to put the thought into words. “I can’t really explain why. I just know he is.”

              Elli turns back to her books. “Well, it won’t matter that he is if whoever’s attacking The House gets his way. Do you really think he’ll stop the destruction at the universes he’s already taken down? It’ll be all of them, every last one—including the first. Yours. Your little blue planet is included in that.”

              I know she’s right, but hearing it still hurts. The rest of our conversation is terse and awkward, and I take the first opening to escape the tunnels and exit the Archives Room. Once I’m back in the halls I lean against the wall and let the cool marble soothe my body. It’s so quiet here I can hear muffled conversations floating in from three corridors over. I block out the noise, staring across the hall at the locked door, and that’s when it dawns on me.

              Every lock needs a key.

              What if this one needs
the
Key?

              I bridge the space between the door and me, coming up close to the frame so that my palms lay flat against the surface. Pressing my ear to the wood, I strain to hear anything that comes across from the other side.

              There is nothing. It’s soundless, just as the void was when Dante opened the door at Dena’s funeral, only this time I don’t feel empty. A sensation fills me up like a helium balloon, and all of a sudden I feel like I might float away. It’s both pleasant and disconcerting at the same time, and I yank my ear back from the door before I’m lost in it.

              The colored lights that stream from underneath the frame dance across my toes as I wrap my hand around the knob. Putting all my weight behind it, I pull. The door doesn’t budge. I step back a few paces, turn sideways, and barrel my shoulder into the wood. It doesn’t even splinter.

I try again and again until my arm is sore, and when that happens I still don’t give up. Using my fingernails like claws, I rake my hand over the keyhole. I try to fit the edge of my palm under the door. I even try to undo the hinges that hold the door in place, but the metal is rusted and the screws are too tight for my fingers to turn.

I’ve become obsessed with finding out what’s on the other side. The room calls to me, beckoning me in, but the door won’t yield. When I finally realize I’ve failed I grunt in frustration and kick the wood hard with one foot.

“What in the world do you think you’re doing?” Nim calls out.

I turn to see her at the opposite end of the hall. Her face is stricken with disappointment. I stumble back from the door, but it’s too late. She’s seen my ill-fated attempt to get inside, and it’s obvious she’s not happy about it.

“You’re in enough trouble as it is!” she exclaims, marching up to me. “Now you’re trying to destroy The House, too. If it had been anyone but me, you’d be floating through the void right now.”

“It’s the only door that’s locked,” I say. “I want to know what’s on the other side.”

“And so you think breaking in is how to go about that?”

“I know about the Key.” The words spew out like vomit. Nim balks at me, her lips turning into a thin, pale line. When she doesn’t reply, I add, “I heard you talking to Dante about it. It must be what the Harbingers are after. And this is the only locked door in the whole House. I can put two and two together, Nim.”

She narrows her eyes. “It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard. You have no right—”

“I have every right! Someone’s trying to bring down The House, and I’m following the clues. They’ve led me here. Either you can tell me what’s behind this door or I’ll break in myself. It might not happen right away, but eventually—”

“It’ll never happen. This lock can’t be picked. It’s protected by the same mystical energy that makes up The House. Now, you’re coming with me and there won’t be another word on the subject.”

Nim grabs my arm, but I wrench it free just as fast. The air becomes tense as we stare daggers at each other.

“Tell me what’s behind the door, Nim,” I say, lowering my tone so that my voice goes calm.

Nim clasps her hands together, her fingers fidgeting over one another as she debates the best course of action. Finally, she relents. “It’s the heart of The House. All the beginnings are kept there. Every one of them. And somewhere deep within, the force that powers this place is stored. If an enemy of The House really exists, the only way to overtake us is to get through this door and find that force.”

“That’s why the Key was hidden. To protect what’s on the other side of this door,” I conclude.

“It’s for the best,” Nim says. “And you mustn’t try to break through it again. Dante’s already accused you of treason once. If he finds out you’re trying to get through the door—”

“He’ll blame the whole thing on me. I’ll be the scapegoat, and me trying to get through the door will be the proof he needs to convince the other Leaders.”

Nim leans into me, dropping her voice to a whisper. “If he’s the one behind all this, Amara, I imagine he’d do just about anything to reach his goal of destroying The House. That includes using you as a pawn. Don’t let him do that. I couldn’t bear the thought of you being cast into the void. I imagine you’re as much like a child to me as anyone ever will be.”

I want to be mad at her for keeping secrets. I want to do exactly what she’s telling me not to. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t. Her forlorn expression and wringing hands make me forget all the things I want and remember why she’s so important to me in the first place.

Nim is my mentor. She is my friend. And as much as I don’t want to see fear in Noah’s eyes, I don’t want to see it in Nim’s, either.