Across Eternity (12 page)

"I hate it when he gets him going like that," Anna said.
"Look at them. He’s swinging him upside down. God, that can’t
be good for the boys legs when he does that."

Both Anna and Amber leaned over the sink to peer out the window.

"Are they always like this?" Amber asked.

"Sadly, yes."

Marian waved her hand. "Boys will be boys. Just leave them be.
They’re not hurting anybody."

"Famous last words."
Anna mumbled as
she turned to her mom. "You remember that when Kevin is still going like
crazy at eleven tonight."

"He only gets to see his uncle a few times a month," Marian
insisted.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Thank God. The kid would be a spoiled brat
otherwise."

Marian’s expression changed swiftly as she shot a joyful look to
Amber. "It’s so good to have you here." She let out a long,
content sigh. "I just can’t believe it."

"You better make a run for it before she gets a hold of you
again," Anna teased.

"Oh, stop that. I’m just excited." Marian said swatting
her hand in the air.

"Would you like to eat outside?" Amber suggested as she went to
the refrigerator and pulled another platter of veggies.

"Absolutely," Anna said as she picked up a serving dish and a
glass of iced tea. "I don’t think it’s safe to leave Logan
and Kevin unsupervised for very long." She leaned in and whispered loudly
by Amber’s ear. "And I don’t think it’s safe if I leave
you alone with her so just stay beside me and you’ll be fine."

"I heard that," Marian said and she pulled several vases from a
cabinet. "I’m going to pick some flowers and do some weeding.
I’ll meet you out back in a bit."

Amber and Anna moved out onto the patio so they could be outside with Logan
and Kevin and the beautiful sunshine. It wasn’t long before the boys were
sneaking around the yard trying to shoot each other with large, brightly
colored squirt guns.

Logan was good at hiding, using bushes, trees, and even the hammock to sneak
past Kevin unseen. Kevin wasn’t as discrete but managed to avoid his
uncle, too. They went on this way, stalking each other quietly around the yard.

After awhile, Amber put her hand up to her mouth when she saw Kevin sneaking
around the corner. "
Psst
...Kevin." She
then pointed to where Logan was hiding. Kevin gave her a big thumbs-up before
he crept around a shrub and made his surprise ambush.

They unloaded on each other. Water went flying in all directions. Finally,
Kevin surrendered in a laughing heap on the grass.

Next, on the list of boy bonding was football. Logan was patient as he
repeatedly tried to teach Kevin how to throw a spiral. The first time the ball
spun perfectly through the air, Kevin shouted. "Mom, Mom did you see it?
I did it. I got it to spin."

"Maybe he’ll be a football pro instead of a pilot," Logan
shouted to them.

"Maybe he can get through the second grade first," Anna replied.

Logan ignored his sister’s comment and did a little dance in a circle
as Kevin spiked the ball on the ground. "You
da
man," Logan said as he stuck his hand out for a high-five. "Now
we’re going to run a few plays. Do you remember what we ran through last
time?"

"Yeah," Kevin said, as he got into position.

Finally, when Kevin was all tuckered out, they moved back onto the deck where
Logan pulled out two pocketknives, one for Kevin, and one for him. Logan
reminded him to be safe and then handed him a small piece of wood to carve.

Anna leaned in and whispered to Amber. "This is the only time he gets
to use a pocket knife. It makes me too nervous to do it at home. But somehow
Logan just guides him right through it." She looked back to her brother
and son. "Logan’s good for him. I’m not sure if my brother
told you, but my husband died when I was three months along. He never knew that
I was pregnant." She didn’t say anything for a minute. "I
wish he knew."

"Maybe he does," Amber, offered softly.

Anna pulled away and watched her for a moment. "You sound like Logan.
He says the same thing.
Except, there is no maybe.
He
says Scott is all around." She shook her head as she remembered. "I
don’t think I would have made it through his death without Logan."
She smiled. "He knows just what to say. He knows just what to do. And he
makes you feel at peace. Some mornings he would just sit with me. He’d
never even say a word. He didn’t have to. I drew what I needed from him
by just being there."

"I understand."

"I figured you would."

"How long were you and Scott married."

"Three years. We met in college." She stabbed a piece of cheese
with a toothpick. "Sorry, about my mom’s greeting. She can be
overzealous sometimes."

Amber laughed. "I enjoyed it."

"From the moment Logan called and told her about you she’s been
like this. I tried to calm her down but as you could see it didn’t work.
I promise you, a few more times around her and you’ll totally be used to
it."

"Yeah?"

"I wish I could tell you she’ll mellow over time but I seriously
doubt that she will."

"You mean each time she sees me—"

"She’ll most likely try and love you to death," she said
with a nod.

"Wow," was all Amber could say.

Anna watched Logan sitting down at the far end of the deck. His head was
bent and he was talking softly to Kevin. She turned to Amber and said
seriously. "You’re the one he’s been waiting for."

Amber almost choked on a cube of cheese. "Excuse me?"

"He’s been waiting for you a very long time," she
repeated.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, lots of reasons, but the main one being, I’d asked him
once why he didn’t find someone. Why he didn’t settle down. He told
me he was waiting for the right person. At first I thought it was because he
was so busy with studying and traveling. But as the years passed I realized he
was actually waiting for the right person." She nodded confidently.
"You’re her."

Amber reached for a napkin and pressed it against her mouth.

"I’m not sure if he ever told mom. Logan can be very private,
but I get the feeling she sensed it on her own." She looked over at
Amber. "That’s why she’s so happy. He’s waited a long
time for you but I think she has been waiting just as long. She wants him to be
happy." Anna paused as she thought. "She wants him to find that
happiness that can only come from being in love with a woman."

"You mean he’s never brought anyone else home?"

"Nope."
Anna’s brow furrowed.
"Does that surprise you?"

"Yes, it does."

"Why?"

Amber pursed her lips as she thought about it. "I don’t know.
He’s intelligent, handsome, funny, and uncommonly patient. I just figured
someone would have snatched him up."

"I’m sure there are those that have tried," Anna said
honestly. "When I was growing up, half of my girlfriends worshiped him.
However, he always politely rejected each and every one of them."

Amber smiled. "When I told him I hadn’t been out on a date in
over three months he asked what was wrong with me."

"He didn’t."

Amber nodded. "When he had claimed it had been a while for him, too, I
just assumed he was being kind. If I’d had known…"

"Like I said before, he’s pretty private, but I don’t
think he was exaggerating. His head was always stuffed in a book—"

Logan came up from behind Amber and draped an arm over her shoulders and
kissed the top of her head. "Don’t listen to anything my sister
says. She’s jealous because I’m mom’s favorite." He
leaned down and whispered in a voice loud enough for Anna to hear.
"It’s a first born thing."

"You’re forgetting, I’m the baby," Anna said as she
tried to punch him in the arm. "The baby is always the favorite."

"Hate to break it to you but that’s not the case."

"No, I hate to break it to you, that
is
the case."

Logan pulled the squirt gun from behind his back and shot his sister in the
face and then took off running. Anna was hot on his trail threatening his life
as she jumped up and chased him around the house.

"Amber, I made this for you." Kevin opened his hand to reveal a
small object as he stood up and walked to her. "It’s an arrowhead.
Like the Indians used."

"It’s a perfect arrowhead, too." Amber held it up,
inspecting it. "Look at that point, nice and sharp."

"It’s hard to get it that sharp," he said seriously.

"I can see that."

"I have to carve it carefully so I don’t cut the tip off each
time," he said, as he touched the end softly. "Uncle Logan read me
a book that said Indians used to make their arrowheads out of different kinds
of rock."

"Yes, they did."

"I’m going to go arrowhead hunting some day with my uncle. He
says he knows a place in the desert where there are lots of them."

"That’s sounds like an adventure." She glanced back at the
carved piece of wood. "You would have made a very good Indian, Kevin."

Kevin smiled. "I was an Indian for Halloween. My best friend Matt was
a cowboy. Uncle Logan came up to our house and took us
trick-or-treating."

"Did you get a lot of candy?"

"Yeah, but mom took it all and she only lets me have
one piece at a time.
One after school."
He sighed.
"And if I’m lucky a piece after
dinner."

She winked. "It’ll last longer that way."

"She says if I eat too much it will make me crazy."

Amber laughed.

"Uncle Logan said he was making this one for you." He lifted his
hand. "I’m not sure if he’s done yet."

Amber took the chunk of wood that was taking on the shape of an angel and
examined it. It was beautiful. The feathers in the angel’s wings were
just being carved. The tiny lines etched into the wood gave a glimpse of the
detail the piece would have upon completion. She smiled as she handed it back
to Kevin. "I don’t think he’s finished. I’m sure
he’ll give it to me when he’s done."

Kevin set the carving next to the knives. "I’m not allowed to
touch the knife unless Uncle Logan is watching me."

"That sounds like a good idea to me."

"There you are," Marian, said as she walked up the steps with a
basket full of flowers and dirt smudges on her shirt.

Kevin turned. "Look at this, Grandma." He pointed to the
arrowhead that Amber was holding. "I made it for Amber."

"Very nice.
Your uncle used to make those
when he was a boy, too.
Except he used to try and chip them
out of real rock."

"When are you going to make cookies?" he asked as he pushed the
small knife into his pocket.

"Right now if you’d like."
Marian
ruffled his hair. "You want to help?"

Kevin nodded and ran into the house.

"I always make a triple batch so Logan will have some when I
leave." Marian said to Amber as she set the flowers and clippers on the
table. She raised her head and listened. "What are my two children
yelling about?"

"Something about who’s your favorite," Amber said with a
smirk.

Marian filled a glass with tea and shook her head as she took a sip.
"They never grow up." She set down her glass and lifted the basket of
flowers. "I need to get these in water."

"Would you like some help," Amber offered as she slid her chair
back from the table.

She shook her head and motioned for her to sit. "There’s no
need."

"If you’re sure."

Marian nodded and then smiled as Logan rounded the corner. "Would you
like to put in a request for cookies?" she asked him.

"Let
Kev
pick," Logan said, slightly
out of breath.

"Will do."
Marian patted her
son’s cheek as she walked past him. "Will you please leave your
sister alone?"

"She started it."

Marian looked at Amber, and shook her head. "What’d I tell
you?"

"She did," Logan insisted. "She always starts it."

"Where’s your sister." Amber asked when Logan took a seat
next to her and Marian went into the house saying something about peanut butter
or chocolate.

"Probably sulking somewhere."

Amber touched his wet hair, running her fingers over it, and then stroking
the back of his neck lightly. "It looks like she got you back."

"She did until I wrestled the hose away from her."

"She got you with the garden hose?"

He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe it either. "I know,
she so cheated. But that’s what you get from a little sister."

"You shot her in the face with a squirt gun," Amber pointed out.

"Technicalities."
He reached for her
hand. "Come for a walk with me. I feel like I haven’t seen you in
days."

"It’s been an hour, two at the most."

"Whatever it’s been, it’s too long."

"What about dinner?" she asked as she looked
at her watch.

"That’s tomorrow night."

"Excuse me?"

"My mom fixes a huge sit-down dinner on Sunday. We eat early because
they leave in the evening. The first night they are here everyone just eats
what they want to eat and then heads to bed." Pulling her to her feet, he
took her hand and guided her to the steps leading off the deck.

"Shouldn’t we tell them that we are going for a walk?"

"No. They won’t send out a search party until morning." He
grinned and headed toward a well-worn path leading into the brush.

"Where are we going?"

"To my quiet spot."

"You mean it gets quieter than here?"

"Yes, it does. You’re going to love this place."

Logan and Amber followed the established trail from behind the house, for
several minutes, as it twisted through the woods and sloped down the backside of
the hill. The incline eventually leveled off but the trail became narrow and
the rugged wilderness closed in around them.

"I love your family. They’re so normal," Amber said as she
watched the ground and followed behind him closely.

He laughed as he held a branch out of the way for her. "Is that what
you call them?"

"Sure." She stepped past the branch and watched it snap back
when Logan released it.

"Careful," he said.

"You don’t agree?"

"I think you need to give them a little time before you make a decision."
He walked a few more steps and then said, "Do you realize, as we speak,
Anna is resting in one of the bedrooms watching some reality television show
that she’s addicted to. I’d bet money that she’s
TiVoing
it at home just in case she misses it here."

"Completely normal," Amber interjected.

"My mom on the other hand is still in the kitchen exasperated because
Kevin is licking his fingers and putting them back into the bowl. She’s
more than likely reminded him a hundred times not to do that."

"Normal too."

"And," he said after a long breath. "My dear nephew is
sneaking cookies every time Grandma goes to the oven to bake another
batch." He ducked under another low limb.

She laughed at the image he painted. "All sounds normal to me."

He looked over his shoulder at her. "You think so?"

"Absolutely.
You’re very lucky."

"How’s that?" he asked as he held out his hand and helped
her down a small drop. When she was steady he began walking again.

"Your mom adores you. Your sister is crazy about you, too. And Kevin
worships the ground you walk on."

"When you say it like that it doesn’t sound too bad."

"Everyone thinks their family is crazy," she pointed out.

"Mine
is
crazy." He laughed.
"Perhaps,
just normal crazy."
He shook his head and continued, "If there
is such a thing."

"I’ll agree to that. Normal crazy sounds right."

The narrow trail ended and as they emerged from the brush they came out upon
a beautiful, natural clearing carved into the face of the mountain. From the
viewpoint one could see a panoramic view of the valley below and the ocean
beyond that.

"This is absolutely breathtaking," Amber said, as she looked out
toward the horizon, taking in the sweeping view that was before her.

"I had no idea this spot was here until I stumbled on it six months
after I bought the place." He found a rock and took a seat. "It was
a nice discovery."

"I can see why you call it your quiet spot. I’ve never been
anywhere so secluded in my life."

"I like to come here to think, or to remember, or just to watch the sunset.
Around here it’s the most relaxing place I know." He pointed in the
distance to the ocean.
"Of course unless I’m out
in the middle of that."
He looked over at her, studying her
against the striking backdrop. "Can I ask you a few questions about your family?
Now that you’ve had the chance to meet mine, I’d like to know a
little more about yours."

Amber raised her shoulders and then let them fall indifferently.
"I’ve told you all there is. My mom and dad divorced when I was eleven
and my sister passed away. There’s not much else to it."

"You said your mom lives in Nevada. Did she move there after the
divorce?"

"No, she moved there right when I graduated from high school.
Seriously, it was like a month after school was out she was gone. I’m not
sure what I would have done if it wasn’t for Heather. I would have been
eighteen and homeless."

"You wouldn’t have moved to Nevada with her?"

"I wasn’t invited. And it didn’t really matter because I
would have never left my sister." "Why did she move?"

"When it comes to my mom you never really know what her motives
are." She frowned as she spoke. "She said she couldn’t stand
being in California anymore and just had to get away. She was able to find a
good paying job so she left."

"Will you tell me about her?"

"Doesn’t that explain who she is?"

"It explains a part of her," he said.

"What more is it that you want to know?"

He thought about it for a moment. What did he want to know—absolutely
everything there was. For as long as he could remember he had wanted to know
all there was to know about her and that included her family. He figured if he
could get a glimmer of her family life it would undoubtedly reveal a little
more about her, who she was now and who she may become. "Do you talk
often?"

"No."

"So, you’re not close?"

"My family is nothing like yours."

"You mean they’re not crazy?"

Amber took a moment to answer. "They are the epitome of
dysfunctional."

"I take it they don’t put the fun in dysfunctional." He
shook his head quickly. "I’m sorry. That wasn’t
appropriate."

"Don’t be sorry. I understand what you’re trying to do and
I appreciate it." She smiled at him gently and then continued. "I
wish we had put the fun in it, perhaps it would have made growing up a little
bit easier. I haven’t seen my mom in a very long time." Her head
dropped as the smile that Logan had managed to create faded. "In fact the
last time we even spoke it was on the phone when Heather died."

"You mean she wasn’t with her?" As Logan watched her talk,
he fought the urge to move to her. The pain in her voice had him longing to
hold her and make it all go away. But he knew that that wasn’t possible.
He didn’t have the power to make it disappear, no matter how desperately
he wanted to. However, he knew he could try and help her heal, even if she was
against it.

"No, she wasn’t." She didn’t look at him.
"When my mom called, it was to ask if I had enough money for the
burial."

Logan winced. "God, I’m sorry, Amber."

"I hung up on her and I haven’t spoken to her since."

"And your dad?"

"After the divorce he moved to Los Angeles. He found his way into the
bottle when Heather and I were young and never found his way out. We would see
him periodically, whenever he sobered up enough to come pick us up." She
stared thoughtfully at the pink hues spreading across the sky. She didn’t
turn away from the spectacular view when she spoke. "About a week before
she died, he came by to visit Heather. But it was too much for him to
handle." She lifted her shoulders. "He left the next day."

"What do you mean left?"

"After breakfast he jumped up and walked out the door mumbling
something about how he couldn’t see Heather like this anymore. He was
barely there twenty-four hours." She looked over at him. "I
can’t tell you how angry I was as I watched him walk away."

"Understandably."

"You’d think he’d want to reminisce with his dying
daughter or even apologize to her or at the very least sit with her as she
passed."

"You’d think."

She shook her head sadly. "How could he be so selfish?"

"Sometimes people do things without thinking about the
consequences," he offered.

"Well, the consequences were high, too high. He’ll never get to
see his daughter again. That’s something I could never live with. Knowing
that I had the chance to be with my child during her last few moments and
I
didn’t stay with her would haunt me for the rest of
my life."

"Me too."

"It almost killed me to tell Heather. It was an hour before I could
calm myself down and go in the bedroom and tell her dad had left." She
shook her head. "Of course she was rational about it. She told me that it
was okay and not to hold it against him."

"And do you?"

"It’s hard to let it go."

"Have you thought about forgiving him?"

"No," she said firmly.

"Why?" he asked softly.

"Because he’s undeserving of it.
If I
forgive him I feel like it would be saying that what he did was okay."

He understood Amber’s unwillingness to forgive. Her parents, the two
people who were supposed to love her and protect her the most, had broken her
heart. Family was supposed to be there to pick you up and carry you through the
times that were difficult; they weren’t supposed to be what caused the
pain. "I think forgiveness is the ultimate power that we all
carry." He shifted on the rock and watched her.

"How’s that?"

"The way I look at it is you have the power to change him." Her
expression was of surprise, but he continued. "What if you forgave your
father and it awakened something in him. What if your forgiveness healed
him?"

"What if it didn’t?" she asked frankly.

"There’s always that possibility. But have you ever thought
about the fact that if you grant him forgiveness you are essentially giving
yourself freedom to move beyond what he created."

"I never looked at it that way."

"Gandhi once said, ‘The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is
the attribute of the strong’. I think he’s right."

She looked over at him, saying nothing for a moment. "You always see
the positive side of every situation, don’t you?"

"Not always. But I know you’re amazingly strong."

"Thank you."

"Come here and let me hold you." He gestured with his head.
"The sun is setting."

She walked over to him, his arms open and inviting. Nestling her back
against his chest, she leaned into the curve of his body. When his arms wrapped
around her, pulling her even closer to him, he rested his head just above her
shoulder.

"Why do you like to watch the sun rise and set? Aside from the fact
that you’re always up at those times," she asked quietly.

He watched the setting sun as it sent bursts of colors across the sky as he
thought about the question.
"Because what we choose to
do between the two is entirely up to us.
I find it amazing that
we’re all given the exact same amount of time but what differs is how we
utilize it."

"I’ve never looked at it like that."

He dipped his head so his cheek rested next to her ear. "The rising
sun holds promise and is nothing more than a new opportunity for growth and
discovery. It’s a new start and anything can happen during those
hours."

"And the setting sun?"

"The setting sun allows us to take a deep breath and bask in all the
growth we’ve done throughout the day."

"And what if there was no growth that day?"

"How I see it, there’s always growth. We all encounter experiences
throughout our day that make us a little stronger and a little wiser."

"We do, don’t we?" She turned her head and looked at him.
"Do you want me to go home tonight? It might be a little uncomfortable
with your family here."

"My family knows how I feel about you. We’re crazy not
judgmental," he said with a lazy grin. "Besides, I don’t
think I would be able to make it through the night without you."

She smiled at him. "You made it through thirty-seven years of nights
without me."

He shook his head slowly never taking his eyes off of hers. "You were
always with me."

* * * *

By the time they had arrived back to the house the vibrant colors of the sky
had turned to muted tones of gray. Stars quickly popped out, covering the dome
overhead, changing dusk into night. The smell of freshly baked cookies drifted
outside and mingled with the crisp scent of the outdoors. The wonderful aromas
clung and mixed together, imprinting feelings of serenity and home.

"It smells like Kevin picked Chocolate Chip," Logan said as they
reached the steps.

"Mmm, it does."

Logan slid open the screen door and waited for Amber to step through before
walking in
himself
. The kitchen was dark except for
the light left on over the stovetop. A plate of cookies was conveniently placed
under it. Logan grabbed two and handed one to Amber.

"Thanks," she whispered because the house was dark and quiet.
When she took a bite she chewed for a moment and then said, "Oh, my God,
this is the best cookie I’ve ever eaten. It’s so moist and chewy.
Mine always come out as hard as a rock."

Logan’s eyebrows shot up in agreement as he ate his own. "Wait
until you taste her pie. Do you want some milk?"

"No, this is fine." She reached for another cookie and then
leaned against the counter savoring it. "Is everyone asleep?"

"My mom more than likely is. She’s an early riser." He
glanced over his shoulder. "But I believe Anna is awake because I think I
hear the T.V."

"Reality show?"

He smiled.
"More than likely.
It’s
right around Kevin’s bedtime so I’m sure Anna’s already
tucked him in. Are you hungry? I can fix something for dinner." The light
from the refrigerator illuminated the kitchen when he opened the door.

She shook her head and raised the cookie. "If I have one more of these
I’ll be fine."

"You need more than cookies," he said and he pulled out the half
eaten relish trays and then slid open the deli drawer and found some cold cuts.

Amber took the items Logan passed to her, setting them on the island before
she retrieved two plates. They wrapped pieces of cheese, olives, and pickles in
thinly sliced meat. After devouring three of them, Amber looked over to Logan.
"I guess I was hungry."

"I thought you might be. We really haven’t had much since our
snack
at the English Tea Room. "

After they put away the leftovers, Logan moved beside her but didn’t
speak. After a moment he touched the silky strands of her hair, smoothing the
dark wisps. He did this for several seconds.