Authors: Kit Tunstall,R.E. Saxton
“A boy? Congratulations, Luka. Here we thought I was going to be the first one to be a dad.” The forthcoming arrival of Roman’s daughter had been one of the main topics of conversation over the last few months since Sarah had announced her pregnancy six weeks after their lavish wedding. He didn’t seem bitter or resentful that Luka had unexpectedly become a father before him.
“I don’t see what the problem is. Get rid of her and hire a nanny. Easy peasy, as Amber would say.”
“Not since she was fifteen or so,” said Roman with a wink.
“It’s not that easy.”
Dominic arched a brow. “I don’t see the conflict. She betrayed you, and she did one of the lowest things a woman can do by taking your kid from you. If you hadn’t discovered the boy, would she have ever told you about him?” At Luka’s reluctant shake of his head, he added, “There you go. She saw you do something that could have vast ramifications for you if she ever decided to open her mouth, and she fucked you over. Get rid of her.”
Roman rolled his eyes. “Dominic can be so pragmatic about it because he’s never felt anything for a woman besides desire. He doesn’t understand how you can love someone, even if you’re conflicted about it. I think it’s obvious that you still care about her, and I’ll bet she still cares about you. You should try to put aside all the anger and the bitterness, encourage her to do the same, and see if you can work things out. You used to be happy, and I bet you could be again.”
Luka looked at both of them, not having a reply for either brother.
Fortunately, Dominic suffered from no such constraint. He laughed heartily. “When did you become such a fucking romantic, Roman? Does Sarah keep your balls in a jar on the nightstand?”
“Fuck you.” Roman sounded mostly good-natured. “Sarah can keep my balls wherever she wants, but she prefers her mouth.”
Luka grimaced. “I don’t need to hear those things about you and my sister-in-law.”
Dominic laughed again. “What, you thought little Rebecca-to-be was an immaculate conception? I suppose your son was also conceived immaculately?”
Luka rolled his eyes. “He has a name. It’s Lucas.”
Dominic frowned for a moment, looking puzzled. “She named her son after you, even though she had no intention of telling you about him?”
Luka nodded, hoping his brother could understand some of his confusion and confliction now.
“Well, you’ve heard our opinions on the matter, Luka. You’re usually the tiebreaker or the voice of reason, so I’d suggest listening to your own voice of reason and see what it tells you. As long as you don’t follow Dominic’s advice, you’ll be golden.”
Dominic rolled his eyes at Roman. “Like your advice is any better? You want him to forgive and forget that she ran away and took his child? What kind of pansy-ass response is that?”
“What kind of half-cocked, violent response is it to execute the mother of his son when he still cares about her?”
Luka lifted a hand, suddenly weary of the conversation. He might have initiated it, but he’d heard both of their perspectives now, and it left him with a decision to make. “I’m going home. Thank you both.”
“I’m sure you’ll do the right thing,” said Dominic, looking unconcerned.
“We want to see the baby soon. I mean, I know Sarah will.” Roman strove to sound impassive, but it was clear he was curious about his nephew and was using his wife as a pretext. Luka experienced a surge of affection for his older brother, knowing Roman’s mind pretty much lingered on babies all the time these days as he waited for the birth of his daughter.
With a quick word of parting, he exited the club and made his way home. It was only as he entered the condo that he realized he still wasn’t entirely certain how he was going to proceed. At least for tonight, he wasn’t returning to the bedroom, and he definitely wasn’t going to try to initiate a repetition of earlier events.
Instead, he folded himself onto the loveseat in the media room, cursing the entire time as he wondered how Abby had managed to arrange herself on the torture device. She was several inches shorter, but it couldn’t have been comfortable for her either. It was just another reason for them to work things out.
If only he could decide where she was going to sleep, he’d know how to proceed. Was he completely arrogant to think the decision was entirely his to make? Undoubtedly, Abby would think so. But he still felt cheated by what she had done, and she owed him.
How was he supposed to let go of that, and release the anger he still felt whenever he imagined Lucas growing up without him, and Luka never knowing he had fathered a child with her. It took a stronger man than him to just turn his back on that, to just forgive and forget, as Roman had suggested. He was usually the coolheaded, logical, and easygoing brother, but right then, he was the hot-tempered, hotheaded, and completely irrational one.
It was some hours later before he fell asleep, and not any closer to a decision or course of action.
They met again over breakfast, though this time he was the one in the kitchen first. Unlike her the previous day, he’d prepared enough food for both of them to eat, and though she was still ashamed of her behavior and seriously angry with him, she sat at the table and started eating the omelet he had prepared. She tried to justify it as ravenous hunger, since breastfeeding stimulated her appetite, but she couldn’t pretend part of her acquiescence wasn’t due to having a chance to be near Luka, even under the tense circumstances.
And it was certainly tense. The atmosphere was thick enough to cut with a knife. Lucas was in one arm, latched on to her breast for his own breakfast as the adults ate in silence. She could barely swallow the excellent food from her nervousness, anger, and residual humiliation.
It was only after the clinking of forks against plates had filled the room for several moments that Luka took a long sip of his coffee before he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about last night.”
She nodded jerkily, not certain she believed his apology, but surprised he’d even bothered to go through the motions.
“The truth is, I still want you, Abby. I think it’s obvious you still want me too, but a lot has happened to keep us from acting on those urges right now.”
She glared at him as she wiped her mouth. “I don’t want you, and I thought I made that plain last night.”
He quirked a brow. “Oh, when you are begging me to fuck you? Is that when you made it clear?”
She started to push away from the table, uncaring about the remnants of her breakfast, but froze when his hand fell across hers. She looked down, wincing at the band of bruises around her wrist.
He let out a harsh breath, his gaze centered on the same spot. “I did that.” It was more of a statement than a question, so it didn’t warrant a response. “I’m sorry. I was angry with you. I’m still angry with you, but I shouldn’t have gotten into bed with you when I was in that state.”
She tried to tug her hand free, but he wouldn’t loosen his hold. “No, you should’ve just left me sleeping on the floor alone. Our relationship is over. It’s dead. There’s nothing left between us except Lucas.”
He shook his head. “That sounds good on paper, but it doesn’t feel right. I don’t believe it, and I don’t think you really do either. We need to have honesty between us and be truthful about how we feel.”
She let out a harsh laugh. “That’s rich coming from you. When were you ever truthful before? You hid what you did and kept part of yourself locked away from me. If you’d been honest, there wouldn’t have been a future for us, and you knew it. You deliberately hid the truth, and now you expect me to jump on your honesty bandwagon? I wasn’t born yesterday.”
He let out a soft sigh, looking frustrated. “Fine, you’re right. As I’ve already said, I didn’t tell you what I did because I was sure you would leave. And since we’re being bluntly honest, I’m the consigliore for the Rinaldi Mafia. I advise my brothers, who are the boss and the underboss, and I cast a tiebreaker vote when they can’t decide on a course of action. I’m in the mafia. Sometimes I hurt people, and sometimes I have to kill. That’s what I do, but that’s not all I do or all that I am.”
She blinked for a moment, overwhelmed by his bluntness, but also terrified. She couldn’t handle the overflow of information, and what the show of trust might mean. On the other hand, maybe it was no show of trust. If she didn’t respond the way he expected, he was still going to eliminate her. That was the only sensible course of action open to him. If he couldn’t charm her, he’d have to get rid of her. So it wouldn’t matter what he told her now, because he would be confident she’d never have a chance to repeat it.
Right? Or was she now being paranoid?
“Now that we’re being honest, and I’ve shared, why don’t you tell me the truth about Lucas.”
She frowned in confusion. “What truth about Lucas?”
“Were you really going to hide his existence from me? Or would you have eventually capitulated?”
She licked her lips, trying to proceed delicately for fear of provoking an angry outburst. That she feared it irritated her, and she stiffened her spine. “No, I had no plans to tell him or you. I know how that sounds, but normal people would agree with me. I couldn’t let my son grow up being raised to follow in his mafia father’s footsteps. I had to protect Lucas. I’d still be protecting him if that was an option, if you hadn’t… How did you find me?”
He looked angry, his lips compressed into a tight white line, but he surprised her by answering. “I was staying at the Belvedere hotel, and I saw you on my floor cleaning some of the rooms. I found out your work schedule, and then I waited for you the next day. Like always, you were late, but you eventually showed up, and I took you.”
“Why? Since we’re being honest,” she said with a hint of mocking.
“Originally, it was just to tie up loose ends. You saw me shoot an FBI agent.”
She gasped to hear him so casually admit it. “How could you do that? I mean not just the moral or ethical implications, but how do you get away with a crime like that?”
He shrugged. “We have cleaners, and there are steps to take—and I highly doubt anyone gave a rat’s ass about Sean Armstrong’s disappearance.”
“I’m sure the Federal Bureau of Investigation would care that you murdered an agent trying to bring you down.”
Lucas shook his head. “Armstrong wasn’t trying to bring me down, at least not me personally. He wanted to cripple our organization and take over since we refused to buy his silence and cooperation with money. All he wanted was a stake in the business. He had no interest in pursuing justice or ending the Rinaldi crime family. Armstrong was a realist, and he knew another group would fill the power vacuum, and they could be far worse than we are. The Rinaldis don’t touch drugs or the skin trade. We stick to money-laundering, guns, and a few other endeavors that aren’t legal, but aren’t going to hurt a lot of innocent people.”
She rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, you rob from the rich and give to the poor while you’re at it?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “In a way. Surely you remember my mother’s foundation that I took over? I still run that. That’s where I focus most of my attention.”
Abby shook her head, unable to fathom the rationalizations he provided. “So because Agent Armstrong was dirty, that makes it okay to kill him?”
He glared at her. “No, what makes it okay to kill him was the fact that he approached you. My people had been following him for a while, and when he tried to go after you, it didn’t take long to get him to admit he had planned to kidnap you that day and hold you for leverage, to force me and my brothers to set up an agreement giving him a chunk of our profits for him doing absolutely nothing. I killed him to protect you and my family, but you didn’t bother to wait around to hear any of that. You just tossed the watch and ran.”
Abby was shocked when she said, “I didn’t toss the watch.”
He arched a brow. “What?”
She shook her head, still marveling that this was what she’d focused on out of all the things he’d said. “I didn’t toss it. I tripped, and it fell off. I didn’t realize I had lost until I was already away from the building, and I couldn’t go back for it then. I just wanted you to know I never threw away the gift.” It was a stupid thing to fixate on, and of all the things they’d discussed, the watch was insignificant, but she felt the need to stress to him that she hadn’t rejected his gift as some sort of symbol of rejecting him.
He was quiet for a moment before he nodded. “I have to go now. I have foundation business, but I’ll be back later. We’re having dinner with my family, so make sure you and Lucas are ready by six p.m. when I get home to pick you up.”
Her stomach knotted with anxiety as she struggled to hide, though she wasn’t entirely certain why. In the past, it made sense to hide how she felt about Lucas parents, but now it shouldn’t matter if he knew she didn’t like them. “Um, you mean you’re just taking Lucas, right?”
He frowned, looking confused. “No, of course not. What if he needs to nurse while we’re out?”
“I could send a bottle of pumped milk.” Then she sighed, remembering her breast pump was hundreds of miles away, and she hadn’t gotten around to requesting a replacement.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” He slanted her a glance. “I thought you liked my parents?”
“I do,” she said briskly. “I just think they’d probably rather meet Lucas without me there.”
With an impatient sigh, he pushed away from the table. “Just be ready by six. Both of you—and don’t be nervous. My parents like you, and you like them.”
She forced a feeble nod as he left the room. The truth was, she didn’t know Mario and Avriella Rinaldi well enough to decide if she liked them or not. They were always perfectly polite and pleasant, but they had never been warm to her. It was obvious they hadn’t wanted her to be part of their son’s life, and now they were sure to be dismayed when she showed up at Luka’s side, with a baby in tow. If they hadn’t wanted her to be part of her their son’s life, they were sure to be appalled that she was the mother of their grandson.
She shouldn’t care how they felt now that she and Luka were no longer in a relationship, but she couldn’t help dreading the night ahead.
***
She spent the day moping around the apartment and feeling sorry for herself. Luka hadn’t told her not to leave, but she was smart enough to know there was no point in doing so. He wouldn’t let her out of his sight, or at least sight of some of his goons. She didn’t feel like going anywhere with a tail, so she and Lucas stayed home.
They vegged out in front of the television, watching mindless programs. Occasionally, something caught her attention. The first was a story of a young lady with Down Syndrome who’d just won a modeling contract, and she found herself smiling at the cheerful feeling the piece projected.
The other snippet that caught her attention was a clip of Senator Randall Adams giving a recent speech. He was declaring war on organized crime and vowing he would bring down the dark underbelly of their city, and those who slithered through it. She made a mental note to ask Luka about it later, to find out if Adams was seriously trying to bring down the mafia, and if he was having any luck in a way that would affect the Rinaldis.
By the end of the day, she had completely forgotten about it though as she prepared herself and Lucas for dinner with Luka’s parents. Lucas was adorable in a little suit, complete with bowtie, and she had chosen one of her old outfits still hanging in the closet. That had been a surprise, because she would have expected him to dispose of her wardrobe long ago. That he had left her clothes hanging in the closet, as though expecting her to return at any moment, added to her uncertainty about how to proceed.
She had gained some weight from having the baby, and her breasts were certainly larger than they had been. What had once been a demure black dress now fitted more tightly than she should probably feel comfortable wearing to his parents, and did more than hint at cleavage. Now, it fully revealed that she had some. Still, the alternative was Luka’s T-shirt and jogging pants, since none of her other clothes fit any better, having all been pre-pregnancy wear.
When Luka showed up a few minutes before six p.m., she could feel her face heating with a blush as his gaze scorched over her, pausing for a moment at her lush cleavage before moving downward over her curvy waist and wider hips. She actually liked her new shape better than the one she’d had before, but she still felt self-conscious and started tugging at the dress the more he stared at her. “Is it too tight?”
After a moment’s hesitation, he shook his head. “The dress is fine. I’m just admiring the way you fill it out now. You didn’t look like that before.”
She frowned at him. “You remember me wearing this dress before?”
He let out a husky laugh as he reached for Lucas, hugging the baby against him for a minute before he started to place him in the car seat. “You don’t remember it? You wore it that time we went to the waterfront restaurant, and you sort of wore it in the cab ride home, and you barely wore it on the stairs—and you didn’t wear it at all by the time we were in the foyer of the condo.”
Her cheeks grew hotter, and her heart rate increased as she abruptly remembered the incident he was recounting. It had been shortly after she had unofficially moved in with him, and that night, they’d felt particularly hungry for each other. They had spent the evening teasing each other with the possibilities of what would come, and by the time they’d left the restaurant, they’d been desperate.
She remembered how he had jumped on her in the taxi, half-pulling her on his lap as his hands roamed everywhere. She had been just as eager and completely unabashed by the presence of the cab driver, who had probably watched their shenanigans with interest.
Clearing her throat, she glanced at the clock. “Shouldn’t we be going? It’s a little past six now.” Six-oh-two to be precise, but she was desperate to change the conversation to any other topic.
His lips quirked in a grin, suggesting he knew what she was up to, but he allowed it without a fuss. “There. This thing sure is complicated, considering the seat is for such a tiny baby.”
She nodded her agreement. “Car seats can be a pain, but they’re protecting the most important thing in the world, so it’s worth the inconvenience.”
As he lifted the car seat in one hand and took her hand gently in his other, he glanced at her wrists. “Nice bracelets,” he commented with a hint of remorse.