Acid Lullaby (39 page)

Dexter
froze
in
horror.
Fury
boiled
in
her
throat:
Willis
had
been
talking
about
her;
telling
his
idiot
mates
what
she
was
like;
as
if
she
was
a
piece
of
meat,
as
if
she
was
a
Spitalfields
whore.
Dexter
threw
her
coke
in
the
nearest
bin
and
stormed
into
the
coffee
room.

‘You
fucking
bastards,’
she
screamed
at
Horton
and
Payne.
‘I’ll
report
you
both.
I’ll
make
your
lives
a
fucking
misery.
There’s
rules
against
talking
the
way
you
just
did.
This
isn’t
the
fifties.
I
am
a
police
officer,
not
some
slag
for
you
all
to
laugh
at.’

‘Have
you
finished?’
Horton
asked.

‘No,
I
fucking
haven’t.
If
I
ever
hear
you
talk
about
me
like
that
again
I
will
personally
put
you
on
the
ground.’

‘We
weren’t
talking
about
you,’
Horton
said
with
a
smile.

‘What?’
Dexter
felt
the
ground
falling
from
under
her.

‘Your
little
squirm
with
Willis
is
old
news.
He’s
been
boffing
Otham
for
the
past
two
months.’

Dexter
knew
Katie
Otham.
She
was
blond
and
cheaply
decorated.

‘So if I was you,’ Horton advised, ‘I would go away and
have
a
little
cry.
Then
try
and
keep
your
mouth
shut
and
your
legs
together.’

It was past ten. Willis decided to check around outside. He got out of the Freelander and strolled through the damp air towards the lights of the service station. There weren’t many people around. He began to wonder if Dexter had merely been winding him up: raising his hopes only to dash them by failing to appear. He discounted the idea: it wasn’t her style. Dexter was a more sophisticated animal. In any case, he truly believed that some sick little part of her soul enjoyed their encounters. Willis entered the service station café. A group of tired looking lorry drivers studied him blankly. There was a pretty teenage girl serving behind the counter: Willis bought a cup of coffee and a chicken sandwich.

‘Busy night?’ he smiled.

She looked up from the cash register surprised by his attempt at contact.

‘Yeah, I’m knackered. That’s two twenty please.’

Willis handed over the money. ‘Girl like you shouldn’t be working here late on your own. Not with all these muppets about.’ He gestured at the group of lorry drivers.

‘I’m all right.’

‘Bet your boyfriend doesn’t like it.’

She handed over his receipt and change.

‘He thinks it’s better than getting a job himself.’ Her smile was thin and humourless.

Willis saw her life in a moment. She would have a layabout boyfriend with a beer belly. He’d rest a beer can between his legs while he watched the football. They lived in a shitty little flat that stunk of chips. She’d reluctantly do her duty on her back after Match of the Day. Maybe she’d have girls’ night out once a fortnight and screech about cocks in some tacky theme pub in a city centre. He suddenly found her very unattractive.

He took a seat that overlooked the car park and settled down to wait, aware that she was watching him closely.

Dexter
had
fled
from
CID
with
tears
streaming
down
her
face.
She
had
crashed
out
of
the
building
into
the
anonymity
of
the
street.
Cars
and
buses
thundered
past
her.
Rain
streamed
over
her
face
hiding
her
tears.
She
tried
to
make 
sense
of
the
desolation
inside.
Now
she
had
learned
the
truth.
The
truth
had
been
that
Willis
had
been
doubling
up
on
her
for
months.
The
truth
was
that
he
was
shagging
WPC
Otham
while
she
had
vainly
tried
to
telephone
his
empty
flat.
The
truth
was
that
his
casual
indifference
to
her
hadn’t
been
casual
at
all:
it
had
been
calculated
and
callous.

‘Alison?
Are
you
okay?’
DS
Gillian
Read
had
followed
her
out
of
Leyton
police
station.

‘I’m
fine,’
said
Dexter
without
making
eye
contact.

‘Look,
I
know
what
happened,
sweetheart.’
Read
put
her
arm
round
Dexter’s
shoulders.
‘Why
don’t
we
go
inside?’

‘How
can
I
go
back?
They’re
all
laughing
at
me.’

‘The
only
way
to
stop
them
is
show
that
it
hasn’t
hurt
you.’

‘But
it
has.’
Dexter’s
tears
felt
hot
on
her
face,
her
eyes
felt
ready
to
explode.
‘I’m
pregnant.’

‘Oh
sweetheart.’
Read
enfolded
Dexter
in
a
hug.
‘Is
it
his?’

‘Of
course.’

‘What
are
you
going
to
do?’

‘I
don’t
know.’
Dexter
watched
the
universe
spinning
out
of
control
around
her.

‘Does
he
know?’

‘I haven’t told anyone yet.’

‘You
have
to
get
rid
of
it.’

‘I
can’t.’

‘Alison.
You
are
not
a
little
girl.
Think
about
the
realities.
You
can’t
let
this
happen.
Who
can
you
talk
to
about
it?’

‘My
mum,
I
suppose,’

‘Talk
to
her
then.
Don’t
throw
your
life
up
the
wall
for
a
prick
like
Willis.’

Dexter
nodded.
She
suddenly
felt
very
cold.
‘Let
me
go
back
and
get
my
coat.
I’m
going
home.’

‘Alison,
listen
to
me.
If
you
are
going
back
up
there
you
have
to
be
hard.
Harder
than
you’ve
ever
been.
Never
let
them
see
they
can
hurt
you.
If
you
let
that
happen
you
are
finished.’

‘I’ll
be
fine.’
Dexter
wiped
her
face
dry
as
they
stepped
back
into
the
building.
It
was
time
for
Alison
the
Brave.

She
ran
the
gauntlet
of
stares
as
she
returned
to
CID.
Horton
smirked
at
her
from
his
desk.
Even
some
of
the
uniformed
coppers
seemed
to
find
amusement
in
her
dishev
elled
appearance.
Dexter
collected
her
coat
from
her
desk
and
crossed
the
office
floor
to
Willis’s
office.
He
was
on
the
tele
phone
when
he
saw
her
coming
and
waved
her
away.
She
ignored
him,
stormed
directly
into
his
office.

‘You
fucking
arsehole,’
she
said.
‘You
miserable
little
prick.’

Willis
promptly
hung
up
the
phone.
‘What’s
your
problem?’

‘You
are
fucking
Otham.’

Willis
shrugged.
‘Amongst
others.
What’s
the
big
deal?
We
ain’t
exclusive.’

‘Yes
we
are,’
shouted
Dexter.
‘I
am
very
bloody
exclusive.’

‘You
need
to
grow
up,
Sparrer.
You’re
a
decent
time-filler
but
nothing
more
than
that.’

His
words
tore
her
soul
into
shreds.

‘You
don’t
mean
that.
You
helped
me.
You
helped
me
here
and
with
Vince.’

‘Must
have
been
fanny-happy.
You’re
a
good
squirt,
Sparrer,
I’ll
give
you
that.’

She
stared
at
him
in
utter
despair.
The
man
was
beneath
her
contempt
and
his
baby
was
growing
inside
her.
Dexter
turned
on
her
heels
and
left
the
office.
The
rest
of
Leyton
CID
had
enjoyed
watching
the
showdown.
Many
of
the
police
officers
were
caught
out
by
Dexter’s
sudden
departure
and
urgently
tried
to
create
an
impression
of
business
as
she
walked
past.
Before
leaving
the
department,
Dexter
turned
to
face
them.