Accidentally in Love With a God (2012) (22 page)

“Move on.” I considered that. “Easy for you to say. You’ve never lost anything you deeply cared about.”

“I’ve endured an eternity of sacrifice, pain, and”—his gaze burrowed through me—“never mind.”

We stared at each other, the silence emotionally charged. I wondered what was so horrible about his past that it made him want to forget his name. What was so painful that it caused his eyes to turn a deep shade of green? Why wouldn’t he tell me? I’d spent so much time hating him, blaming him, but I’d never taken the time to truly know him. Now I wanted to.

Even though he was still dressed in his dark gray, military-style clothes, he looked vulnerable. Maybe even a bit sad. Definitely, sad. Gods, I wanted to comfort him. To start paying him back for the lifetime of horrible things I’d said to him. Before I knew what I was doing, I dropped the pillow in my hand and took two steps toward him.

He didn’t flinch as I looked up into his eyes. I stood on my tip toes and reached to wrap my arms around his neck to hug him.

He bent to me and pressed those full, mouth-watering, delicious lips to mine. The jolt of energy moved through my body once again, but somehow I’d expected it, wanted it.

A moment passed where we both remained still, lips touching but not moving. We were both assessing what we were doing, were about to do. My assessment happened quickly.
More. I want more.

His body abruptly shifted, and he wrapped his powerful arms around my waist, pulling me into him. I guess our assessments aligned.

His soft, full lips parted, and his warm breath entered my mouth, his silky tongue slipping past my teeth. I’d kissed men before, not many, but nothing had been like this—as if I’d plugged myself into him, and the electricity from our bodies merged into one continuous current of elation. Why had I waited so long to do this? His kiss was everything I’d ever needed or wanted. Shoe sale plus hot fudge, orgasm, back rub, lust, power, and crippling neediness...all rolled into one blazing hot man-package.

Guy pulled me harder against him, releasing a husky groan. My breasts instantly began to tingle, and I could feel him growing firm against my stomach. Knowing I had that power over him, to create that sort of a reaction made me melt. Melt. For the first time ever, I literally felt my insides liquefy into a warm, syrupy concoction for a man.

He
was male perfection. A god.
He
could have any woman in the world. And
he
wanted…me.

Wild lust blazed through my veins and triggered a scalding ache inside my core so consuming that I thought I’d implode if I didn’t get him inside me. Images of clawing off his clothes and straddling him flashed in my mind. I wished he was wearing that sarong again; it would make it so much easier to unwrap him like a man-treat and tie my legs in a knot around his waist. Even more shocking was how the years of resentment and anger were gone, any residue melting away as his tongue plunged rhythmically into my mouth, each delicious stroke making my body hotter and heavier.

His hands slid to my hips and then smoothly glided up under my sweatshirt, lounging over every curve until he reached my breasts. I gasped from the intensity of his touch as his palms skimmed over my nipples then began kneading, the speed of his breaths escalating.

“You truly are beautiful, Emma,” he whispered in between mind-bending hot kisses as he stroked my pulsing nipples through my bra. “But.” He panted. “You and I…”

A painful fire bolted through my mouth as if I’d just bitten into an explosive, spicy chili pepper. The five-alarm fire quickly grew to a ten. I violently shoved away from him, choking and hacking.

His eyes were instantly filled with coldness. “Can never be.” He turned and headed for the door. “Get some rest, little girl.”

The door slammed shut behind him.

Chapter TWENTY-FIVE

All right. Like it or not, I had to face facts: my mind had been temporarily blinded by years of sexual deprivation, causing me to throw myself at Guy. But really, who could blame me? I’m only human—sort of—and at least physically, he was a perfect male specimen. A god. Literally.

And who could forget about the stress I’d been under? I once read that stress makes people do all sorts of self-destructive things. Some people go to town on the chocolate or fried chicken. Others pound martinis. I, well, I apparently wanted to commit lewd and indecent acts with Guy.

Impure thoughts aside, he was my one constant, so it was only natural I’d run to something familiar for comfort, even if he was more like a familiar ache from a bad injury that never healed quite right. But after all I’d been through, the familiarity of that ache was almost as comforting as a warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie.

“Shut it, Emma,” I said aloud to myself. None of that mattered. Guy was going to throw this back in my face and humiliate me. I’d never hear the end of it. “Emma, you worship me.” “Emma, you want to take me to bed.” “Emma, you’re a little wanton hussy.”

Yes. Yes. All true. The residual ache inside left no room for denial. But jeez. What had I done? What was I going to do? Well, there was no going back in time—was there?—so I did what any girl would do. I decided to take a long, hot bubble bath in the five man tub. Yes. I’d been right; the bathroom had a steam room for ten, too.

I soaked in mounds of rose scented bubbles, trying not to think of the black clouds hanging overhead. How could I want him? How could that even be possible?

Someone cleared their voice.

“Please, don’t tell me I’ve fallen asleep,” I prayed aloud with my eyes closed.

“You’re awake.”

I cracked open one eye to find Tommaso with freshly disheveled, towel dried hair standing in the doorway of the bathroom. He had changed from his military clothes and was dressed in what could only be described as, well, black silky pajamas, unless that was what he wore to take his evening jog.

I sighed. I was not in the mood for more dangerous, confused men. “Did you get lost on your way to a pajama party for naughty Uchben?”

He shrugged. “Hey, can’t a guy pamper himself with a little black silk after a hard day of fighting neurotic goddesses, scraping up dead bodies, and getting his neck wrung—twice?”

“Sure, I suppose. But is there any special reason you’re in here while I’m trying to bathe in private?” I was covered head to toe in bubbles, but that didn’t make it any less awkward.

“I’m your guard, so there are no privacy boundaries. But don’t worry, I’ve already seen you naked.” He flashed a big bright smile, making his dimples crease. “Just thought I’d stop by and leave you this. I found it at the villa underneath one of those dead Maaskab.” He held up the necklace with the black stone pendent.

I’d almost forgotten about it. “I hope you washed it.”

“And sterilized it twice,” he added.

“Thanks. You can leave it there,” I said, flashing a glance toward sink. “Where’d you get that thing anyway?”

He walked over to the white marble counter and set it down. “It’s a family heirloom. So take good care of it.”

That was odd. Why would he give me something so special?

“Look,” he said. “I just want to say I’m sorry.”

“For what?” I asked, wondering if he meant the intrusive kiss, the kidnapping, or something else.

“For treating you as badly as I did. I resented you. I saw the assignment as having to baby sit Mr. Santiago’s little pet. But I was wrong. You’re anything but his pet—more like a hungry, rabid cheetah that wants to take his arm off.”

If Tommaso only knew the truth; I’d just tried to chew off Guy’s lips. How sad.

“And,” he added, “I want you to know, I truly sympathize with your situation. I lost my entire family in a freak accident. I was never able to say goodbye or tell them I loved them.”

“I’m so sorry. That’s awful. Just—awful.”

“I tried to tell myself it’s just the way of the universe. Our losses make us who we are, but there are days I’d give anything to undo the past. Anything at all.”

I understood exactly what he meant. The pain. The loss. That had to be what my parents were experiencing right now. But I wasn’t gone. I wasn’t dead. I was taking a damned bubble bath while they suffered. It wasn’t right. “Does this mean you’ll help me? All I want is to safely contact my parents. There has to be a way.”

His eyes narrowed. “No. No matter what, I still owe my obedience and loyalty to the Uchben. They’re my family now,” his tone left no room for negotiation.

“And to the…” I hesitated. “Gods?” I still couldn’t quite say the word “gods” without feeling corny.

He nodded.

“But I’m part—you know,” I argued.

He didn’t flinch. “I know what you are. But, sorry. Doesn’t change a thing. I have my orders.” The black silk fabric tightened around his biceps as he crossed his arms.

I somehow felt more sorry for him than myself; even though I’d lost my grandmother, my parents were still alive. He’d lost everyone. “Okay. I’ll try not to hold a grudge and smite you.”

He made a deep chuckle. “Thanks. Because I’ve taken all the smiting I can handle for one day.” He moved to the side of tub and sat on the edge. “Which brings me to why I’m actually here. I wanted to thank you for standing up against Cimil. I didn’t know you’d done that until you mentioned it to Mr. Santiago.”

I hadn’t had much time to think about that shocking moment, but now that I knew about my ancestry, my sudden burst of strength made a lot more sense. I only wished I’d discovered it sooner and understood how to control it.

“You were pretty out of it when I clocked her,” I pointed out. “But she only tried to wring your neck because you told her to let me go. So I think we’re even.”

A warm, glowing smile swept across his face. I craved something to scare off the hideous feelings lurking in the back of my mind, including the raw humiliation from my kiss with Guy. Tommaso’s smile felt like that something.
What. Am. I. Thinking? Didn’t get enough drama today, Emma?
I scolded myself. “I need to get some rest so if you don’t mind?”

“Of course.” He shrugged, making the black silk of his shirt slide over his perfectly sculpted chest. He was almost to the door when he turned around. “Emma, I have to ask you something.”

“I’m sort of a captive audience here.”

“Guy told everyone what happened and how he’s bonded to you through your grandmother’s blood.”

“Yeah. So?”

Tommaso’s expression teetered on discomfort. “Emma, you may not know this, but others are connected to him, yet they weren’t able to hear him while he was trapped.”

Others? I felt jealous all of a sudden. Did he have a harem of women he was bonded to? He
was
a sexy, powerful god. I bet he “bonded” every night. Maybe even three times a day with two women at a time. No wonder he’d rejected me. I was just a little girl in his eyes, completely incapable of satisfying a man like him. Or any man.

He continued, “That means your connection to him is very strong.” He paused, looked down at his feet, and then snapped his head up. “Do you plan to stay with him? Do you love him?” he asked.

Wasn’t expecting
that
question. What was with these men putting me on the spot like this? I swallowed then nervously cupped a mound of bubbles. “No. I mean—I have feelings for him, but I can’t explain what they are. It’s not like there’s any point of reference for our relationship. He’s been a part of my life for so long, but not a day went by that I didn’t pray he’d leave. Now that I’m in this situation, I feel almost like he’s a necessity, that I won’t survive without him.”

“Don’t let him intimidate you, Emma. And if it’s protection you’re worried about, there are other options. All you have to do is take your request to the Uchben chiefs, and we’ll protect you.”

“He’ll never allow that. Like he said, we’re bonded.”

“Then break it. Release him.”

My heart stopped. “Can I do that? How?”

“Kaacha’al lu’um, tumben k’iin,” Tommaso recited.

“Catch a loom, tomb bent inn?” I repeated with a clumsy tongue. “What does it mean?”

“Literally, ‘broken earth, new day.’ It’s Mayan—from an ancient prayer. It means you wish to break your ties with the past.”

“What will happen? Will it hurt when I say it?” I imagined a giant lightning bolt hitting me on the head.

“No, it’s a painless procedure.” I could see he thought my question was silly, but resisted teasing me. Brownie point for Tommaso. “The oath he took to create the bond with your grandmother, which now binds your blood to him—and therefore to other gods—allows them to keep tabs on you more easily. To protect you, of course.”

“So, it’s like having a direct line to the gods?” I asked.

“More like Low-Jack, or twenty-four hour emergency roadside assistance.”

“So it’s not some weird force field of protection?” I wondered.

“Nope. Sorry. You’re still susceptible to colds, accidents, and horribly psychotic Maaskab. The bond simply creates a connection, a current of energy that links you to Guy ”