Accident (23 page)

“I wish I could do something to make it easier for you,” he said as they sat down at the kitchen table with a glass of wine, waiting for the stew.

“You already have. I don't think my life is going to be easy for a long time. At this rate, Brad'll move out sooner or later, and that'll be rough …especially on Andy …and me too …and whatever happens with Allie, that won't be easy either.” It could be nightmarish, or at best
it
would take a long time, and be heartbreaking at times. But that was just the way life was sometimes, and she was willing to accept that. This week had taught her many things, among them acceptance, and patience.

“How do you think Andy will take it if Brad leaves?”

“I think it'll be pretty awful. And I don't think it's 'if but 'when.' That's becoming pretty clear now.”

“Kids surprise you sometimes. I think often they know things before we tell them.”

“Maybe so.” The boys ran through the kitchen again then, and both seemed to be having a great time with each other. Trygve called them to the table five minutes later.

“Meatball time, guys!” he called, and made them wash their hands when they got there. They said grace at the table, which surprised Page, but it was also comforting to hear it. It was a far cry from her own family when she'd been growing up. They had never said grace, and only went to church on major occasions. It startled her to discover that Trygve was religious.

“I go to Sunday school,” Bjorn explained to his new friend. “They teach me about God. He's a nice guy. You'd like him.” Page repressed a smile, as she glanced across the table at Trygve and he was smiling too.

The two boys chatted on, and Page and Trygve went outside afterward. It was Bjorn's job to clean up after dinner, and Andy stayed to help him.

“He's a great kid,” she said as they sat down in chairs on the lawn. It was a beautiful evening, and there was a deep orange sunset on the Marin hills that they both watched for a long time in silence.

“He is,” Trygve agreed. “Fortunately, Nick and Chloe think so too. One day they'll have to keep an eye on him, when I'm gone. I've thought about trying to put him in an apartment eventually, but I don't think he's ready.”

It was something she might have to think about now too. If Allie wasn't able to take care of herself, one day Andy would have to be responsible for his sister. It was a problem that had never occurred to her before, but special children had special needs. Suddenly, there were whole new worlds for her to consider.

“It was fun having you here today.” Trygve smiled. “We really enjoyed it, Page.”

“So did we,” she said softly. “You actually gave us a place to relax and have a good time, in the middle of this mess our life has turned into.”

“It won't be a mess forever,” he said knowingly, wanting to help her through it.

“It feels like it right now. I don't even know which way to turn. So much is changing so fast I can't even catch my breath anymore. And the things I thought were so important last week aren't even part of my life now. It's hard to know what to make of it,” she said slowly, and he took her hand in his and held it. He didn't want to frighten her, and he knew this was the wrong time, but something about her kept making him want to protect her.

“You're doing all the right things. You just have to go step by step and move very slowly.” But Page laughed at him.

“Believe me, I'm the only thing moving slowly right now. The rest of my life is falling apart so fast I don't even have time to pick up the pieces.” He laughed at what she said, and they sat together and watched the sunset.

“Life seems so simple sometimes, but it's never as simple as it looks, is it?” he asked as the sun slipped slowly behind the hills. “We think we have everything worked out, and then the whole damn thing falls apart. The only good thing is that when we get it all put back together again, it's usually better.”

“I wish I believed that,” she said, looking at him, and liking what she saw there, he was genuine and whole and incredibly decent.

“I'm much happier than I used to be,” he said honestly to her. “I never thought I would be, but I am. And I don't even give a damn if I get married again. I'd like to, I'd even like to have more kids, but you know what … if the right woman doesn't come along, I'm perfectly happy the way things are now. I'm happy with my kids, my work … I used to be half crazed all the time, trying to make things work with Dana …and I never quite could. She always managed to make it impossible, and I was always miserable and feeling like I'd failed. I don't feel that way anymore. I like my life. I feel good about myself and my kids. Pretty soon you'll feel that way too. You have wonderful children, you're talented as hell, and you're a great person. You deserve to be happy, Page, and one of these days, with or without a man, you will be.”

“Would you sign that in blood, please? It would be reassuring.”

“I'd love to. It'll get better, you'll see.”

“I can hardly wait,” she said softly, and he seemed to watch her for a long time. And then, he leaned toward her and suddenly she wondered if he was going to kiss her. But at that exact moment, the two boys exploded onto the lawn and wanted to play baseball.

“Nothing doing, you guys,” Trygve said firmly. The moment had passed, and Page wondered if she had dreamed it. “Bjorn, it's too late for baseball. Why don't you go inside and watch TV. Pretty soon it'll be bedtime.” And then he turned to Page. “Do you want to leave Andy here tonight? Are you going back to the hospital?”

“I thought I'd go home, Brad said he might come over and get him tomorrow. If he does, I'll spend more time with Allie then. Are you going back tonight to see Chloe?” Their whole life had been taken over by trips to the hospital, and it took a lot of rearranging and juggling to meet everyone else's needs at the same time. At times it was utterly exhausting.

“I'll go back in a while,” he said softly.

“We should go home,” Page said regretfully, and they sat side by side for a while, comfortable in the night air, and at ease with each other. He didn't make a move toward her again, and on the way home, she decided that she'd imagined it. He was very independent, and he had his own life. And as Allyson had said the week before, and he had confirmed since, he seemed perfectly happy without a woman in his life. Dana had burned him very badly.

But now Brad had burned her too. And it was odd to realize that she was actually attracted to Trygve. She had never even thought of it before, but after a week of being close to him so much, she had to admit that she thought he was not only good-looking, but appealing. She was thinking about him with a smile, in spite of herself, when Andy spoke up from the backseat and took her breath away with his question.

“Who is Stephanie?”

“What do you mean?” Her heart pounded at the question.

“I heard you shouting at Daddy about her the other day. And then I heard him call her.”

“I think she's someone he works with,” Page said, with absolutely no expression in her voice. Trygve was right. Kids knew more than one thought. She wondered just how much Andy had overheard the night of his nightmare.

“Is she nice?” he persisted.

“I don't know her.” Page's voice had no expression.

“Then why did you shout at Daddy about her?” He was pressing her and she was getting angry.

“I wasn't shouting at Daddy, and I don't want to talk about this.”

“Why not? She sounded nice on the phone.”

“When?” Page felt a blow to her solar plexus.

Even though she knew about her now, she didn't like hearing about her from Andy.

“She called yesterday, when you were at the hospital. She told me to tell Daddy she called.”

“And did you?”

“I forgot. I hope he won't get mad at me.”

“I'm sure he won't,” Page said, but her face told its own tale, as she parked in the driveway and they walked into the empty house.

“Are
you
mad at me?” Andy asked worriedly as she helped him undress, and she had to take a deep breath and look at him. There was no point being angry at him for what his father was doing.

“No, sweetheart, I'm not mad at you. I'm just tired.”

“You're always tired, Mommy …ever since Allie's accident.”

“Well, it's been hard for all of us. You too. And I know that.”

“Are you mad at Daddy?”

“Sometimes. Most of the time we're just tired and worried about Allie. We're not mad at you. You have nothing to do with any of this.”

“Are you mad at Stephanie?” He was trying to figure it all out, and he was bright for his age, brighter than he knew, as Page sighed at the question.

“I don't even know her.” It was the truth. It was Brad she had to be angry at, Brad who had cheated on her, who had lied, who had broken her heart. It was all Brad's fault, not the fault of the girl he'd slept with. “I'm not really mad at anyone, sweetheart. Not even Daddy.”

“Good.” He smiled at her then, relieved, and she knew that soon they'd have to say something to him, particularly if Brad was going to move out in the near future. “I like Bjorn.”

“Me too. He's a nice boy.”

“He's the oldest friend I have. He's eighteen, and he's special.”

“He is special,” she smiled, “and so are you. I love you, sweetheart.” She kissed him and put him to bed, and then she lay on the bed in her own room, thinking how life had changed in one brief week, how simple it had all been a week ago, with Allie out for dinner with the Thorensens, and Brad in Cleveland. It had all seemed so simple. And now it no longer was. The teenagers' lies had all but killed them.

CHAPTER 10

P
age spent most of Sunday at the hospital, after leaving Andy at a school friend's. Brad had called that morning to say he didn't have time to see him. But after his initial disappointment, Andy had been happy to go to his friend's house.

Trygve visited Page at the ICU waiting room for a few minutes to bring her some sandwiches and cookies, and then went back to Chloe, who had visitors. She was reveling in seeing young people again, and it seemed to make her feel better.

“Bjorn was ecstatic about yesterday, by the way,” Trygve told Page as he shared a sandwich with her outside the ICU. He seemed happy to see her, but she was convinced now that her illusion had been just that. He was friendly, but not romantic.

“So was Andy. He had a great time. He would have invited Bjorn over today, except that he had to go to a friend's. Brad called to tell him he couldn't see him.”

“Bjorn had to do his homework anyway. How was Andy when Brad canceled?”

“Not great, but he adjusted.”

They chatted for a little while, and then he went back to Chloe, and when Page went home that afternoon, she picked up Andy on the way home, and they stopped for ice cream. In a world where everything had changed overnight, the smallest rituals brought them both comfort.

And they were both surprised when Brad arrived shortly after they got home, and said he was staying for dinner. He asked how Allie was, and Page told him the truth. She was still alive, but there was still no improvement.

They ate dinner quietly in the kitchen, just the three of them, and she was startled afterward when she saw Brad packing a suitcase.

“Are you moving out?” she asked, sounding as though she was expecting it, which saddened both of them. In a mere eight days, this was where they had come to.

“I'm going to Chicago on business.” He didn't tell her Stephanie was going with him. This time, she had insisted.

“When are you going?” she asked quietly, ready for anything.

“Tonight. I'm taking the red-eye.”

“What about Allie?” What if she failed again? Could he live with that? But she already knew the answer to her question.

“I have to. There's an important deal I have to close.” He said it calmly, and she couldn't stop herself.

“For real, or like the one in Cleveland?”

“Don't start that, Page,” he said harshly, “I mean it.”

“So do I.” She no longer trusted him, but it was no longer an issue.

“I still have a job, you know. Accident or no, I still have to work. And my work takes me to other cities.”

“I know that,” she said, and left the room. He kissed Andy good-bye before he left, and left the name and number of his hotel on the pad in the kitchen. He was going for three days and she didn't really mind it. In some ways, his being gone would ease the tension between them.

“I'll be back on Wednesday,” he said just before he left, and he said nothing more to her. Not “I love you.” Not “good-bye.” He just closed the door, and drove down the driveway. He had just enough time to pick Stephanie up on the way to the airport.

“Are you mad at him?” Andy asked nervously. He had heard their tone of voice when they talked, and he hated it. He had put his pillow over his ears so he didn't have to hear them in case they started yelling.

“No, I'm not mad at him,” she confirmed, but her face said something different.

She read for a while after he left, trying not to think of all the things that had changed. There were too many to think of. She turned off the light and went to bed, after calling the hospital to check on Allie.