Accepting His Ways (Quinlan O'Connor Book 2) (13 page)

He pulled her close to him and ignored the slight resistance, “Or do you need your daddy?”

“No, maybe I do, honestly, I don’t know. What I know is sometimes I feel overwhelmed.”

“Then we work on that. It’s a start.”

He placed a kiss on her lips. “Tomorrow we can go look at the house. There isn’t much, but we can walk the floor and plan for what we will want in the private side of the basement.”

“I guess I’m feeling a bit out of place but not too much, really. Part of me just wants to get married, and I’m afraid that you’re going to start finding reasons not to get married soon. I expect you to tell me that since you’re changing jobs, we have to wait longer, or you’re waiting for the house to be complete. I don’t know, I guess part of me feels you’ll get tired of me, or I’ll really mess up sometime, and that will be it. Sometimes you expect too much.”

Sitting on the bench outside the main stable doors and bringing Cheyenne down on his lap, Quinlan reached up and lovingly moved her hair out of her face. Then reaching carefully, he kissed her deeply and slowly, bringing out all of her insecurities and evaporating them.

He lifted his head then leaned his forehead on hers for a few seconds, slowing pulling back and caging her chin with his fingers, he spoke somberly.

“Sweetheart,
mo mhuirnín
, you need to listen to me and believe me when I tell you that I’m never going to get enough of you. When you look at me with those eyes that say you’re giving yourself into my care and allow me to do for you, I’m so thrilled, I’m almost giddy. When you allow me to make decisions that I can make for us, or trust me to decide when to rein you in and when to let you go, it builds me up. It’s empowering to know that you believe I’m worthy to be your protector.”

Cheyenne pulled her head back, and Quinn lets go as she shook her head. “It isn’t that I don’t enjoy it, it’s just that I don’t always enjoy it. You have to let me do as I want, and I’ll figure it out. I’ll make mistakes, but you have to be okay with that. I’m conflicted all the time, but I won’t be if you let me find my way. I’ll come back. I just need to be confident that you want me, warts and all. You can’t create perfection in a non-perfect being.”

“Oh, baby, I’ve done you a disservice. That isn’t what I want at all. I’m honored to be allowed the responsibility of you and later our children. No one else has the power to thrill me. I pay such close attention to what, when, how, why you say things, do things, so I don’t miss any nuance that will indicate I need to adjust myself for you. I’m insecure with you.”

Quinn caressed her arms. “When we play, I’m desperate to know you better, to read you better so that I can give you more of what you want, need, crave. I pray that by meeting your needs more completely, I meet my needs more completely.” He drew her into him again rocking slightly in comfort.

“Cheyenne, you always meet my needs. When you’re feisty, I’m excited. When you’re sad, I’m on alert to find the source and eliminate it. When you’re angry, I look for the root, address it, and hope to find the appropriate response to you. When you’re disobedient, it causes me pain to discipline you, but I know it’s the only way to keep you safe and healthy. At times, I know you need it.” He smiled warmly. “You get naughtier when you want a spanking.”

Cheyenne had pulled back preparing to challenge him but smiled when he acknowledged what Cheyenne thought was her secret. She
was
naughty to get a spanking.

“Love,
mo ghrá
, until you came into my life and showed me what truly loving a woman could be like; I was bored with other women. I was tired of whiny, irresponsible, inconsiderate, and demanding women who took and never gave. They were superficial, or too needy with little idea of what a relationship was truly like. They said they wanted what I offered and who I was as a man, lover but they didn’t understand. They didn’t want to put the time and work in it.” He held her face carefully between the palms of his hands. “It’s work. I know that. You’re the only woman I have ever known who understands what it is to love me and who allows me to love her to almost smothering levels at times.
I love you
in English,
Is breá liom tú
in Irish, yesterday, today, and forever. I’ll never let you go. And November’s date isn’t changing unless we do it sooner, this weekend if you like.”

He kissed her lips and had such an earnest look that when he wiggled his eyebrows and winked at her, she had to laugh. She leaned in and hugged him tight. Quinn continued to kiss Cheyenne until she thought she was going to melt. Quinlan then hugged her, snuggled, and cuddled her until finally, he sighed in regret.

“Okay, Cheyenne, we need to finish this and go back in before we, no, I do something I’ll be sorry for. Because I still intend to wait to enjoy all your treats until our wedding night. So we need to get the consequences done.”

Cheyenne moaned, and he was not quite sure if it was because they stopped, or because of what was coming next or both.

“So, how many drinks did you have tonight,
piscín
?”

“Well, you know I had two at dinner.”

Quinn waited for her to continue and when she hesitated too long, said, “Cheyenne.”

Quinn was not playing games here nor was he a patient man during times like these. He expected the full truth on the first request.

“How come you punish when I don’t think anyone else does in your family, well, except Liam, well actually, he doesn’t punish right? Maybe Parker actually but that’s all and Kelli would never admit that. Wait that might not be true, I think Ciarán does and oh, someone said your da would if pushed.” Her eyes rolled, and she huffed. “Lord, you all do, don’t you?”

Quinn waved his hand as though swatting a fly.

“You prevaricate. I don’t care what others do, and I don’t want you talking about what we do to anyone else. Tonight is about safety and agreements, but that being put aside, I never said I was going to follow someone else’s guidelines and you know I punish for unacceptable choices.” Quinn’s voice changed to one of warning, “Now tell me how many drinks you had, my dear, before I change my mind about the consequences.”

“And three glasses of wine during the afternoon.” Quinn lifted his eyebrows and said, “Last time.”

Cheyenne looked at him in disbelief, “how could you know I had more when no one else knew? It’s absolutely incredible,” She continued in awe. “I know you said you study my every reaction and emotion, and that’s how you just know, but it’s still amazing to me.”

He simply waited with that determined, confident stare that spoke volumes.

“Really? Fine. And a vodka and cranberry juice before lunch.”

Looking at the raised eyebrows over slanted eyes that said
seriously
, Cheyenne tried to salvage the conversation.

“I know, I know. We agreed on two unless we were together. We were technically together, on the same ranch. While I want to blame it on other things, it was just that I wanted to drink them as ‘liquid courage. You know, in case I needed to do something I was uncomfortable about, it would be easier.” She lowered her head and mumbled, “I’m sorry. I broke our agreement.”

“Why couldn’t you come get me and let me know? I would have expected that from you, and you should have expected that I would take care of you. I would have diverted you, distracted you in a fun way. Besides, no one, and I mean
no one
would have demanded you do something you were uncomfortable with, except maybe me and we were playing.”

“I couldn’t do that. You’re male bonding with your siblings, and I was supposed to be doing the same with your sisters. I wanted you to have fun, to enjoy yourself even if I have some insecurity about my place in all this. I was trying to gift you just as you gift me.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “Oh, baby. You’re my most precious gift. Don’t you know that? I wouldn’t care for anything else if I lost you. I appreciate that you tried to find another way to handle your insecurities but it isn’t an acceptable way, and you can’t be risky. Now I have to punish you even when that isn’t what I want to do right now.”

Quinlan kissed her sweetly and delicately, sliding his tongue in with ease, exploring, moaning, and releasing her again.

“You’re like honey that I’m drawn to without control to stop. Let’s go get this over with in here so you’ve something to lean on. One swat for every drink over our agreement so four swats, over the jeans, but with my riding crop.” Seeing the inklings of fear in her eyes, he said, “Its okay, the flogger in our playroom scene last week was worse. I’ll be careful.”

“I know.”

Quinn’s sexual tension was high. He chose a punishment that would lower his libido, keep her covered out in the stable where others might happen to come upon them, and where he could get it done quickly. The sight of her bare bottom right now would be the end of his resolve to wait to take her completely. He positioned her leaning forward on the stall divider fencing, and she put her hands inside the slats to lower the likelihood of her reaching back before he could redirect his swing. Four firm, measured swings made short work of it and with tears in her eyes, a bit of perspiration but no loss of dignity, she straightened herself. Cheyenne had endured it and then fell into Quinn’s open arms.

“We are getting rid of all your riding crops, Sir.”

“Hmm, or adding more, and soon we will add the tawse if we have to deal with this issue anymore, understood? I never want to have to punish over this ever again.”

Cheyenne nodded and added, “And I never want to have to deal with the tawse, Sir.”

The next morning, Cheyenne was more subdued with her four stripes still distinct from the night before. Quinn leaned in gently, looking to see that she didn’t have any ill effects from the evening before. He was happy to see the marks almost gone. He knew Cheyenne needed to see them this morning for reassurance, but he wanted them to fade quickly after that.

He traced each stripe slowly and intently, putting pressure along their paths. She had told him that it was comforting to see and feel the marks, but the heat had long gone from them. Heated marks signified that she was Quinn’s, and he took care of what was his.

“Do I need to freshen it up before you start your day?” he murmured behind her.

She whipped her face around to his and flushed deeply. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Maybe?”

As he watched her manner, it dawned on him she needed extra assurance to start her day. They hadn’t done it again since the scene they’d done for her checkup several months ago. She hadn’t needed it although he had offered a couple of times since. Acting on his hunch, he slid into his daddy dom persona. His voice was deep, paternal and compassionate.

“Do you need Daddy to help you be a good girl this morning?” He watched his beautiful woman relax in front of him.

Sliding into her role without skipping a beat, she replied in a small voice, “Um, I don’t know. Please, Daddy, I don’t want you to give me pink cheeks.”

“But pink looks so good on you,
beag amháin
and I think you need it to be good. Don’t you?”

She nodded her head.

“Cheyenne, Daddy needs your words, baby.”

“Yes, Daddy, help me be good, but can you please not make it too hard?”

“Now it’s Daddy’s choice, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

Her breathing had stepped up to quicker more shallow breaths. Small tremors shivered through her as Quinn leaned her over his knees and caressed her bottom a moment before lifting up her cotton nightshirt and landing ten much lighter than normal, swats. It was play after all, and he wanted her to enjoy it as well as be comforted by it.

At nine, she squealed, “Daddy!” He quickly popped her lovely cheek one last time and after a couple more rubs, he set her up to sit on his lap.

“I love you,” he growled.

He watched as she glowed and felt his pride inflate as he gazed on her face. This woman was his. He kissed her as he reluctantly left her to help ready the day’s events and she went for breakfast.

“I love you too, Daddy.”

He leaned in to kiss her lips and reminded her of his expectation of behavior as well as giving the signal of the end of play. “Stay out of trouble, Cheyenne.”

She smiled and said, “I’ll do my best,” laughing when he landed a parting slap to her bottom.

Cheyenne brought her breakfast out to the flower gardens to eat and walk. Katie, saying it was more fun to eat with the family, came over for breakfast. Ciarán was on his second breakfast, his wife feeding him his first several hours ago. Quinn strode back into the kitchen after setting up his part of the day in a chipper mood, smiling big at Jocelyn.

“Good morning, sister. How are things for today? What is on your agenda?” Quinn asked his oldest sister in law.

Jocelyn rolled her eyes. “Figures. You O’Connor men are a sadistic law unto yourselves.”

“Wow, that stung. Has my reputation preceded me, was I too loud this morning, or do I need to discuss what privacy means to my fiancée?” He lifted his eyebrow but didn’t even attempt to hide his grin as he watched Jocelyn’s cheeks grow pink.

“Oh, I thought I heard your voice,” stated Cheyenne walking back into the house and raising her face for his kiss.