Accent Hussy (It Had 2 B U) (30 page)

Caleb sees the fear in my eyes and takes my hand again. “You’ll be fine. Just tell him the truth. I’ll sit with Holly.”

“Thanks,” I whisper. I surpass the urge to kiss him and make my way to the courtroom. Inside, it’s full of people, but sitting right where I left him last time, is the grumpy judge who gave me community service.

“Miss McGowan, we meet again,” he tells me.

“Yes, Sir.”

“At least, this time, it’s not for drinking.”

“No, Sir.”

“Let’s cut to the chase. In any other courtroom, on any other day, that little girl would be in a foster home with someone qualified from the State. Due to our previous encounter, you can understand why it can’t be you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good, good. Miss McGowan, how old are you?”

“Twenty-two, I’ll be twenty-three in March.”

“Do you realize how young that is? You’re just becoming an adult; do you really think you’re capable of taking care of a six-year-old?”

“I do,” I reply weakly.

This isn’t going good.

“Miss McGowan, tell me why you want to take care of Holly.”

“I’ve fallen in love with her. I’d do anything to show that little girl the love and support she needs to grow up and get through all the bad stuff that has happened to her. Every day, I see her smile, hear her laugh, and watch her grow. I thank the lord for putting me in her life. If it wasn’t for that stupid mistake I made, I wouldn’t have met her.”

“Yet, it’s that mistake which has me tiptoeing on saying yes. Mr. Conaway has told me great things about your community service work. I’m pleased that the situation has affected you the way it has. He also told me that he’s never seen Holly as happy as she is with you. This makes being a judge difficult. Unfortunately, I cannot grant you custody of Holly. With your DUI, it’s impossible for me to do that.”

Those pesky tears are back. “I understand.”

Fucking Keegan. I don’t know why I keep blaming him. The only person at fault in all this is me. I made the choice to let him drive drunk, I took the fall for the accident, and I’m the one now feeling the repercussions.

“I can, of course, grant your parents temporary custody of Holly.” I look up in shock. “Yes, Miss McGowan, when Denise granted you temporary custody, she didn’t know that, at the time, you were serving community service. Unfortunately, with that on your record, you can’t foster Holly. Your parents, however, can. I pulled up their application on the foster care database and see that it’s in review. They will have to do some classes and have a few meetings with Child Protective Services, but I see no reason why Holly cannot go back to the home she is currently staying in.”

“Oh my goodness, thank you so much!”

“Don’t thank me, thank Mr. Conaway. If it wasn’t for his glowing recommendation, and the information he gave me about your work at The Youth Center, the outcome of this would be different. You’re a good woman; I can see that. Let’s try to keep you out of my courtroom from now on, okay?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Holly will have to wait for one of your parents to arrive before she can leave. You’re free to go.”

“Thank you again, Sir.”

It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him smile; maybe grumpy judge isn’t so grumpy after all.

When I exit the courtroom my heart is racing. “Holly still gets to stay with us!” I shout.

“That’s great!” Caleb gets up, and I throw myself into his arms. “Thank you, Caleb. He said if it wasn’t for your recommendation, Holly wouldn’t have been given over to my parents.”

He frowns. “Not you?”

“No, unfortunately, my community service, record, and DUI, prevented him from making that decision. I should’ve never covered for Keegan.”

Caleb drops me from the hug. “Wait, what?”

“Keegan. He was the one driving that night. I don’t remember much, but I do remember trying to wake his ass up after he fell asleep behind the wheel, a tree, and then being shaken awake and instructed by Keegan to cover for him. He said they would let me slide because I have no history of alcoholism. He had a record; he would’ve gone to jail.”

“So you covered for this bastard and got yourself into trouble, not to mention, community service, for what? Do you still talk to this guy?”

“No, I haven’t seen him since the accident. I don’t know why I covered for him. Looking back now, all I can say is that I was being stupid.”

“Hold up. Is Keegan that Irish suckbag you work with at the gym?”

“Worked with. Max and Dashawn fired him.”

“Good, that asshole needs to rot in hell for what he put you through.”

My phone rings and I answer it; it’s my mother. Within fifteen minutes, she’s at the courthouse and filling out the necessary paperwork to take over custody of Holly. In the last two weeks, my parents have fallen in love with her just as much as I have. Knowing that Holly is still going to be with me makes me ecstatic. I’m tempted to go home with my mom just so I can make sure Holly’s okay, but I’m working early at The Youth Center today, so I opt to go with Caleb.

Once in the car, I’m overwhelmed with emotion—not just with Holly, but over Caleb, too. I really messed up my chance with him. I can see that now. He’s given me so many chances; yet, every time we get close, I push him away. Despite all my bitchiness towards him, he still showed up and managed to help me keep Holly.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“You don’t have to thank me, Everly. She’s where she belongs. I just hope in a couple months, they will change their mind about you being her guardian. It’s obvious the bond you two girls have.”

“How’s Kristene? Is she ready for your trip this weekend?”

“You’re not coming?”

“No, I don’t think so. I have too much going on with Holly for me to just up and leave her.”

Caleb’s mouth twitches. “I was really hoping you would come.”

“Why?”

“It’s a big match; I want my friends to be there.”

“Friends, huh?”

“What else would you call us? Remember, you don’t want to be in a relationship with me. The best thing I can call us is friends.” I notice the sadness in his voice. He’s gripping the steering wheel a little harder. “Please come, Everly. I want you there.”

“I’ll talk to my mom about it.” I notice he’s purposely avoiding my question about Kristene. The jealous bitch in me needs to know how serious they are. “So how serious are things with Kristene?”

He glances over at me. “How serious do you want them to be?”

“It’s not up to me, Caleb. That’s up to you.”

“If you really believe that, Everly, then you need to open your eyes. You can’t spend your whole life running away from the things you desire most. I still believe deep down that you like me just as much I like you, but message received. You and I are never going to happen.” I hate how he’s talking about us in past tense, but I deserve it, and he’s with Kristene now.

“Have you slept with her?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

He’s right, it’s not, but it doesn’t make me any less curious. “You’re right it’s not. I’m sorry I asked. Feel free to plunge her matted jungle puss as much as you like.”

He laughs. “Matted jungle puss, huh?”

“Don’t get me started with the bushy beast that lurks within her folds. All I can say is be careful; I’m pretty sure it’s dangerous,” I reply laughing.

Caleb shakes his head. “You’re something else, Everly McGowan.” He pulls to a stop in front of The Youth Center and leans his back against the headrest.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I just don’t like that girl.”

“She’s not fond of you either.”

Knowing Kristene hates me just as much as I hate her is a blessing. At least, we know where we stand with each other.

“Thanks for the ride, Caleb. I know you have stuff to do. I won’t keep you any longer.”

I go to get out of the car, but he places a warm hand on my arm, stopping me. I turn to look at him. He looks sad, almost defeated. I wish I could crawl over and kiss that defeated look right off his face, but I refrain.

“The answer is no, Everly, I haven’t slept with her . . . yet.”

I don’t say anything in response. The word yet hangs heavy on my heart. He’s giving me a choice. I either make my move and claim him as mine, or I let him go and give him to Kristene.

“Goodbye, Caleb.”

Those are the last words I say to him before the door closes and my silent decision is made for the both of us.

“What are you doing home? Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for your Vegas trip?” My mother asks, strolling into the room. I look up at her and shrug my shoulders.

“I decided not to go.”

“Why? It’s a free trip to Vegas.”

“I have responsibilities here. Holly’s here.”

My mom sits next to me and runs her hands through my hair. I nuzzle her palm. She always knows how to soothe me when I need it. “My dearest Everly, stop being such and idiot and just admit you have feelings for this man. He’s a ten. Shit, if I was younger, thinner, and had the stamina that you do, I’d be all over him.”

“Eww, gross, Mom.”

“What? It’s true. He’s definitely sexy as all hell.”

“He’s also sweet, compassionate, a good kisser, selfless, and cares about everyone around him.”

“And you don’t want to be with him because . . .”

“Because he doesn’t have an accent,” I mumble.

My mom lifts my chin. I can barely meet her eyes. I know what she’s going to say, because for the last few days, I’ve been saying the words to myself.
I’m an idiot. I’m dumb. I’m in love with Caleb Conaway.
I’m not sure why I didn’t see it before. I guess sometimes we mistake love for hate. Caleb is everything I need, and for some odd reason, that scares the hell out of me.

“Honey, if the only thing that’s keeping you from being with that man is the fact that he doesn’t have an accent, then buy him a Rosetta Stone and cart his ass off to another country for a few months. Everly, relationships are not about whether or not someone speaks a certain way. They’re about trust, respect, and love. Despite everything that has happened, you need to remember that.”

“Yeah, but the problem is I realized all of this a little too late.”

“Is it too late? When does the plane leave?”

“An hour.”

“Pack a quick bag; I’m taking you to the airport.” My mouth drops. My mother has always been a little demanding, but to order me to go to Vegas is something new.

“What about Holly?”

“She’ll be fine! We’ll take her to the museum or something fun. It’s just a weekend, Everly. She can manage without you for the weekend. Now pack your shit. You got a man to catch!” She jumps up from the bed and heads to the door.

“Don’t you mean a plane?” I shout after her.

She looks over her shoulder and winks before disappearing. Is this what I want? Do I really want to go chase after Caleb now, after rejecting him all this time? I know for sure my vag has no objections, especially when she starts mumbling between my legs at the pure mention of Caleb’s name. Fuck it! What do I have to lose? As Emma so delicately put it, I hated him once, what’s the big deal if I end up hating him again? Sometimes you just have to put it all on the line. There will be times you get hung, but overall, life’s a balancing act. As that old saying goes, there’s a thin line between love and hate, and I’ve been straddling that line for months now with Caleb. It’s time to fall and let fate choose a side . . .

I make the plane with two minutes to spare. Everyone has already boarded and the only seats left are in the middle row towards the front. I don’t see Caleb anywhere, so I manage to find my seat and sit down just before the plane takes off.

A few hours later, we have landed, and it’s at the baggage terminal where I finally bump into him.

“You made it!” he exclaims. Kristene is plastered to his side. She’s practically humping his hip with how close she’s holding him. The thought of humping reminds me of the bad car sex with Keegan and I shudder. I never want to relive that moment ever again.

“Yeah,” I say quietly.

“What made you change your mind?” he asks, grabbing his bag from the terminal.

I packed all of my belongings into a backpack and my purse. I’m only here for three days, there’s no point in packing anything more.

“Let’s just say my mind has changed a lot lately.” I’m not about to tell him how I feel with Kristene standing right there. Instead, I leave my message as cryptic as possible and follow the rest of the staff out to the two waiting limos ready to take us to the fight. I purposely climb into the car Caleb and Kristene are not in. I couldn’t sit through a whole car ride watching those two idiots make out when my heart is busy pining over him. It’s better to do it tonight when he’s alone is his suite.

The car ride is quick and the check-in even quicker. Tonight, Caleb has a dinner before his match. I overheard Kristene telling the girls she’s going to seal the deal and win that pot of a thousand dollars. I could’ve claimed it months ago, but I’m not about to take people’s money when I already know I won. Caleb is supposed to fight tomorrow night, so my goal is to tell him how I feel before he fights, hoping that it will give him the luck he needs to win against his opponent.

I spend most of the day combing the casino, looking for something to do. In my head, I’ve been going over the exact words I’m going to say to him when I finally get up to his room. Their dinner starts at four so that the fighters can have plenty of time to eat and prepare for their match. I figure right around six, Caleb will be in his room alone and I can speak to him. Unless, by some chance, Kristene does manage to talk him into sleeping with her. I don’t even know what I’ll do with myself if that happens. The thought of Caleb having sex with anyone but me brings a sour taste to my mouth. I can’t think negatively about tonight; I can only think positive.

At ten on the dot, I’m in the elevator ready to make my move. Time stands still as the elevator reaches the top floor. Being the main event for the night, Caleb is put in a master suite, one of only two on the floor. I take a deep breath as the doors open, this is it. This is when I finally tell him how I feel. I take a step out, ready to fight for him and tell him what an idiot I’ve been over the past few months when I see his door open. Kristene comes out giggling. Caleb is standing there with his shirt off, and she is looking down at her hand admiring something. I realize quickly it’s a ring.

HOLY FUCK HE PROPOSED TO THAT BITCH! He lied to me! He told me they weren’t serious and yet, now she’s wearing his damn ring. She leans in and kisses him, a quick chaste kiss right on the lips. I punch the buttons on the elevator, willing the doors to shut before either of them see me.

Come on, you stupid elevator. Close.

Thankfully, they start closing just as Kristene turns around, but unfortunately, not before Caleb’s eyes meet mine. This time, I’m in tears.

As the elevator slowly creeps back down to my floor, I’m a mess. I totally lost my chance with Caleb, it’s all because I’m too much of a dumb-ass to realize something good when I have it. Max tried to tell me making love was different from having sex. I didn’t believe him. Sex has always been sex to me. Even though I felt things after being with Caleb that I’ve never felt with any man before him, I still dismissed it like it only meant he was good in bed. I realize now, I was wrong. We have more than a fiery, argumentative relationship. Despite all the heinous bitchisms I’ve thrown his way, he’s stuck around. He’s been there, and I still treated him like complete crap. Why? Because I am afraid. Afraid to let someone in. Afraid to be myself. Afraid to fall in love. People say that it’s easy to fall in love, but it’s been easier to hate Caleb. Trying to admit that I’m in love with him is like a dentist pulling abscessed teeth; painful, hard, and quite possibly the most grueling thing I’ve ever had to endure.

Jessi told me that she had a sneaking suspicion that my overabundance of hate towards Caleb was merely a disguise. She knew something special was between us from the first day he carried me out of my dorm room and to his car. I’ve never denied the chemistry or attraction I have had towards Caleb, but I have denied my feelings for him. I’ve denied feeling anything emotional towards Caleb at all.

The best thing for me to do right now is escape; Vegas is a huge city. I bet there is a bar somewhere on the strip that I can wallow in my self-pity. I have no one but myself to blame here. It’s time to wash my sorrows away and do my best to forget I ever fell in love with Caleb Conaway.