Abuse: The Complete Trilogy (49 page)

“Hell, yes,” I
tell him.

“Why?”

“It feels really
good, but I especially love the thought of you using my body to get yourself
off.”

“Ahh,” he says,
and now begins sexy friction—slow, steady rhythm against me with his heated cock.
He rubs it between my buttocks while still toying with my saturated folds and
clit.

Mindless with
arousal as I am right now, I have a sudden realization.

I remember him
explaining that when he focuses on me, it enables him to enjoy himself without
triggering his feelings of guilt, shame or panic. Grant is humping my butt, but
he’s doing it to make
me
feel good.
That’s
what gets him off.

My pleasure is
what he
needs
in order to heal.

This is all
about me.

The sensation of
his hard cock thrusting against my ass, the tugging and fondling of my aching
breasts, his hot breath whispering against my neck, the sexy growl of his
voice, his erotic tormenting of my sex, combined with the insight that
everything he’s doing is all for me—blows my mind.

It’s suddenly
all too much.

“I have to
come! I’m gonna come!”
I cry out suddenly, as the threat of my imminent
orgasm overtakes me.

“Good girl, come
for me,” he bites out in a voice that doesn’t sound human. It’s almost a snarl.
“Come
now
.”

I’ve been
holding back for so long, it surprises me when I don’t instantly climax. I’m
there though.

I’m right on the
edge.

Grant’s thick,
heavy shaft is pumping against my buttocks, stimulating my sensitive anus. One
of his hands pinches my nipple, while his other hand squeezes my clit between
his finger and thumb.

Two of his thick
digits wedge themselves deep inside of me and I cry out in bliss. Driving all
the way in, their reach is only stopped by the thickness of his hand—but he doesn’t
stop there. Those blunt fingers inside of me begin to twist and turn, stretch
and explore.

My clit and my
core are so sensitized! The relief I feel as he stretches my inner walls elates
me.

Sexual tension
has turned into almost unbearable agony. Grant filling the emptiness I feel
inside is pure, unadulterated bliss. My inner muscles begin to pulse.

Uncontrollably,
my hips arch up against his hand, desperately trying to get more of his touch.

“Yes! Good girl!
Fuck my hand!” Grant commands me. “Do it! Ride my fingers! Ride me until you
come!”

“Grant,” I
scream out on a half-sob, urgent in my need to obey him—frantically craving my
own release.

I’m shocked by
the maelstrom of erotic sensation. My body bowed, my heart hammering, I begin
to ride his hand with ruthless, frenzied motion, bucking against his fingers as
if my life depends on it.

I scream his
name as I violently erupt when my climax finally rips through me.

Instinct compels
me, combined with the desire to please and obey Grant. I continue to hump
against his fingers frantically, but he doesn’t hold them still. He helps me
fuck them, slamming into me with exactly the fierce and punishing force I need.

“Fucking
amazing,” Grant growls approvingly. “Your cunt squeezes so tight. You’re so
fucking hot!” He’s making loud, primal male sounds of lust and passion.

Waves of ecstasy
overwhelm my senses in rhythmic pulses. My body viciously clenches and relaxes,
clenches and relaxes, again and again and again.

I can’t stop
coming.

Long and
intense, my climax seems endless.

Grant swears
under his breath in a litany of muttered curses. He’s not angry, he’s
impressed. I’ve pleased him and I know it.

It gives me a
warm feeling inside.

“That’s right,
darlin’,” he murmurs huskily. “You’re so wet, so hot. You drive me crazy,
woman. I'll never get enough of you, but I won’t mind if I die trying. You
gushed when you climaxed, did you know that?

Nope,
but
I’m too blissed out to answer him.

He sighs with
satisfaction. “Fuck, I love the feel of your tight sexy cunt. You gripped me so
hard you crushed my fingers. It felt unbelievable—so I’m going to make you come
on my fingers again!”

I love the sound
of his voice. This gorgeous man is talking, yet I don’t feel the need to
respond. Lost in sensation, I’m not even sure if I understand what he’s saying.

Hard tremors
continue to wrack my frame. I’m utterly shattered. Did I lose consciousness?
Everything is black inside, outside—the whole world is empty.

There’s nothing
in my universe right now, except for Grant.

He’s everything
I need.

When I finally
finish climaxing, I feel boneless and I twitch with aftershocks. Sweating and
shredded, I pant raggedly, attempting to regain my breath. I hang suspended in
Grant’s arms, weak and wrung out, yet joyous in the afterglow. He holds me up,
supporting my weight.

Grant is my
foundation.

I realize
then—I’d feel utterly lost without him.

“There is a
crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.”

 — Leonard
Cohen

~~~

Renata
Koreman

I lay in the
dark, my head, torso and one arm cuddled onto Grant’s broad chest. We’re both
still struggling to catch our breath.

Any minute now,
I may even be able to uncurl my toes.

My tits and my
pussy are so sensitive, still pulsing with blood. My whole body is deliciously
sore, I feel as though I’ve had a vigorous workout.

And I have.

Grant had
positioned my boneless body; head, chest and shoulders face down on the bed,
with pillows beneath my knees on the carpet. My butt up in the air and my legs
spread wide apart, he then proceeded to lave, suck and finger me into another
two orgasms.

I don’t know
what’s gotten into him; but whatever it is, I hope it’s here to stay!

He tormented me
with pleasure until I shamelessly begged him to fuck me. Finally, he did,
taking me doggy style. The memory of what we just did together replays,
pounding through my mind—just as he pounded himself into my body.

I moan,
writhing and breathless with anticipation when Grant’s scorching hot cock
teases my entrance. My back arches as I reach toward him. I’m desperate to feel
him inside of me, my molten core aches. Tears of overwhelming emotion run down
my cheeks—I’ve needed him for so long!

Grant’s hands
firmly grip my hips, while his every touch leaves a trail of fire. “How do you
want it?” he breathes into my ear. “Rough? Soft?”

“Hard and
fast!”

In instant
response, Grant plunges his cock inside of me, driving inside me with such
force and fury he leaves me gasping.

Ball’s deep,
his powerful cock stretching and filling me, he pauses. “Too hard?” he grunts
huskily.

“No! God, no.
Harder!”

He pulls back
and brutally surges forward again and again, the sound of his hips slapping
loudly against mine. My breasts bounce with the impact of each thrust. In, out,
in, out, in a steady, urgent pace. The man is a jackhammer and he feels divine!

“I’m going to
come,” he growls, after a long series of punishing thrusts. “Come with me.”

The moment
his fingers reach down to vigorously rub against my clit—I explode. Such
intense pleasure feels almost like pain. Blinded with exquisite ecstasy, I
scream his name.

Talk about,
‘I
want to fuck you like an animal!’
I suspect that ‘
Nine Inch Nails’
lyric
was written about Grant.

Jesus, he worked
me over so thoroughly. My sex twitches with the memory. I’ll never, ever forget
it.

The feel of his
large hands holding me tightly in place, exactly as he wanted me was such a
turn-on. His big solid body covering mine, his heavy balls banging against my
pussy, stimulating my swollen clit as he hammered himself inside of me was
exquisite.

It was the
sweetest
agony.

Grant slammed
into me so hard and so fast, I’m surprised my eyes didn’t fly out of my head
with each stroke.

My clitoris was
so swollen by then. Between the feeling of his balls hitting me in a fast and
furious rhythm, and the friction of the sheets rubbing against my sensitive
flesh, as well as the feel of him filling me… well. I'm surprised I didn't come
at his first thrust.

We managed to
climax simultaneously, which blew us both away. If I had to guess, I’d say we
reached orgasm in less than a minute. However, I wouldn’t be surprised to
discover Grant got in sixty hard, fast strokes during that time!

Talk about
pistoning like a pile driver! What a machine!

This entire day
has been unbelievable. A romantic walk, thoughtful conversation and great sex
,
except Grant is still reluctant to kiss me.

Never mind,
we’ll get there. I smile when I imagine all of the things we need to practice,
such as kissing, having sex with the lights on and me going down on him. I know
Grant is still hiding shameful sexual fantasies. Eventually, he’s going to tell
me exactly what his fantasies are.

Then I’m going
to act them out with him. In time, with a little encouragement, Grant will give
in to every dirty, disgusting and filthy sexual act he can conceive of. How hot
will that be?

The thought
excites me like crazy.

I’m so bad!

Sometimes Grant
seems such a Boy Scout, it’s difficult to imagine what he could be hiding. On
the other hand, what he did tonight was the work of an expert. The man set me
on fire. I like him so much, almost anything he did would get me hot. Yet,
there was some real skill evident here. Where did
that
come from?

Pulling my hair?
Biting, kissing my neck and shoulder, not to mention everything he did when he
got between my legs.
Whew!
Grant rocked my world.

I make a mental
note to ask him how he did it later.

Smiling against
the smooth skin of his chest, I take a few moments to consider what kind of
dark sexual fantasies might interest him. Unless he wants to tie me up and beat
me, which I very much doubt, I can’t foresee any problems.

‘Relax, it’s
just sex,’ is the motto I live by.

Fear, anger,
hate, temptation, even an inability to forgive—everyone has something they have
trouble dealing with. André says, unless it’s a sin, in order to defeat such
unwanted attitudes and emotions is to give in to them. He thinks it’s best to
be willing to experience anything.

That’s why André
wanted to dominate me. If I make a choice to be held down—if I decide to
re-experience my fears, then perhaps I can get over them. Unfortunately, I just
can’t do it. I’m afraid I’ve disappointed André, although he doesn’t show it.

Feeling trapped,
combined with the possibility of punishment terrifies me.

Grant strokes my
hand, where it rests against his chest. “You are so beautiful,” he murmurs, and
his sweet, warm breath fans over my face.

After all those
orgasms, I have just enough brain cells left to reject his statement. “It’s
completely dark in here, so how would you know?”

“I don’t need
eyes to see
your
beauty.”

“Aww,” I say,
melting like a marshmallow too near a campfire at hearing his sugar sweet
words. “Wow, Romeo, you’re pretty smooth.”

“That
was
pretty smooth,” he agrees, with a chuckle.

“Are you
comfortable enough to keep touching if we turn on a light?”

“Sure,” he says,
and switches on the lamp that sits upon the bedside table.

I blink a few
times, getting my vision back. When I can see him clearly, I take in his
colorful tattoos and sculpted maleness. Hard and fit, he really is gorgeous.

Grant looks me
over, studying me intently. “Yep,” he says. “You’re the most beautiful woman
I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank you.” I
grin. “You’re no slouch yourself, handsome.” Grant ignores my compliment, so I
add, “I just want to say, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

A smile
transforms his face. “Is that right?”

“Absolutely.”

I look at him
with playful suspicion. “You seem to have learned some new things since the
last time we had sex.”

A slight hint of
red colors his cheeks. He shifts and then sits up, leaning against the
headboard. I bite my thumbnail, hoping I haven’t screwed up his easy-going
mood.

Grant’s eyes
lock on mine. “I’ve spent the last two weeks reading books and watching YouTube
videos about sex. I specifically wanted to know how to please a woman in bed.”

“Really?”
I say surprised, inching up in order to sit beside him.

“Really.”

I lean over and
kiss his cheek. “And I thought the swing set was your best idea
ever.
No
one has ever given me such a thoughtful gift. But, when you compare it to what
you learned through your research…” I sigh.

His eyes narrow
as he studies me, waiting to hear what I’ll say next.

“Well, I’m not
kidding.
Nothing
can top what you did to me tonight. It was epic.”

Grant raises his
eyebrows and smiles. “I have every intention of topping that.”

“You do?” I
grin. “Better than what you’ve done already? Then I’m a very lucky girl.”

He shrugs off my
compliment, but I can tell I’ve pleased him. His gaze meets mine. “What we did
tonight was the most fun I’ve ever had in my entire life. I didn’t know
anything
could feel
that
good.”

“Me too. Let me
know when you’re ready and we’ll go again.” My eyes widen when I look down at
the sheet that covers us. “Oh, look at that! You’re making a tent.”

Grant snorts.
“I’ve had a constant hard-on ever since I met you.”

A bubble of
laughter escapes me. “So, I’ve noticed.”

He rolls his
eyes. “
You
would,” he accuses me, with a playfully, pained expression.

I laugh. “True,
but then I try to never let beauty, in all its forms, escape me.”

Grant smiles.

“Your cock is
particularly gorgeous. The fact you’re hard for
me,
flatters the hell
out of me.”

Grant takes my
hand, raises it to his lips and kisses my knuckles. Totally buzzed, we smile at
each other while energy, chemistry, electricity, biology—in fact, an entire
library
of invisible, sexy, scientific stuff flashes between us.

“I’ve been
meaning to ask you something,” I say.

“OK,” he says,
as he releases his grip on my hand.

“Do you remember
that first night at your house, when we played
Truth or Dare
?”

“How could I
forget?”

“After you made
me come—which was incredibly hot, by the way—we had a conversation. We were
sitting at the kitchen table, having graham crackers and milk.”

“Yes.”

“You climaxed
and I climaxed, and then you told me you didn’t feel the need to run away. Do
you remember? “

“Of course I
do.”

“Tell me more
about what you realized then,” I say. “You said something about pleasing me,
what did you mean by that?”

He opens his
mouth and then shuts it again, pursing his lips.

He’s thinking,
but it’s different this time. I can almost read his mind by observing his body
language. A powerful cascade of thoughts are rushing through his brain. I see
he
wants
to tell me something important, and yet, at the same time, he
also
doesn’t
want to tell me—or he doesn’t know how.

Either way, his
inner battle is obvious to me.

“For me, sex was
a necessary evil,” Grant finally says, without looking at me. “It was all about
my urges, my cock, my release,
me
.”

“I understand.”

A long period of
silence passes while Grant gathers his thoughts. He still won’t look at me.

“Something
happened when we were together,” he eventually says, with a slight shake of his
head. “I didn’t fully understand it at the time, but I think I do now. Sex has
always seemed shameful and self-serving. I’ve come to understand my father was
an egotistical, yet charming sociopath. I was only a child, but I loved him. It
tore me up to discover he’d been selfishly using me.”

“I’m so sorry,”
I murmur. “That kind of betrayal hurts deeply. It also makes trust nearly
impossible. You must have come away doubting everyone and everything.”

“Yes,” he says,
frowning. “I never wanted to be like my father
.”

I instantly want
to reassure Grant he could
never
be like his asshole of a father, yet I
manage to keep my mouth shut.

André’s warning
echoes through my mind:
Your attention must be on him! Your focus on him!
Listen, look and learn from him.

Telling Grant
what
I
think would be the wrong thing to do.

Right now, Grant
is distracted. He’s sorting through his thoughts and experiences and trying to
get things straight in his mind. A good therapist would recognize these signs
and wouldn’t interrupt this process.

I’m not a
faultless therapist, but I do have my moments. Consequently, I calmly look at
Grant with mild, attentive interest.

And say nothing
at all.