Absolution (Mr. Black Series) (11 page)

COLE

I touched my lips to her forehead and gave her the most tender kiss I had ever given a woman, letting my lips linger for a while as I smelled the fragrance of lavender in her hair, storing it in my memory. I was lost in the moment, resting my other hand on the back of her neck, pressing her in closer, wishing time would stop. I didn’t want to forget; not that I could ever forget the last time I kissed the great love of my life.

I shifted my face so my cheek was pressed to hers as my breath flowed down her neck, creating goose bumps on her arms.

“Stay,” she whispered softly.

I sighed, touching my forehead to hers. I wanted her, unable to restrain myself any longer. I ripped myself away from her arms and walked out of the door, slamming it behind me.

ADELINE

I cringed when the door slammed. I stood contemplating why I had put myself out there again with another door slam as his response.

I’m such an idiot.

I went back to my room, but was startled by the sound of the doorbell ringing.

I threw on a bathrobe, stopping in the bathroom mirror to wipe away any smudged mascara.

Maybe he is coming back to surprise me, like in the movies?

The doorbell rang a couple more times in a matter of a few seconds.

“I’m coming,” I hollered from the bathroom.

I made my way to the door and flung it open ready to jump into his arms. But instead of Cole, I found three burly men, all holding dollies, with a moving truck parked right behind them.

“We’re here to pick up some furniture,” one of the men said.

My heart sunk. “Yes, it’s upstairs, and all the boxes are around the house,” I said, pulling the door open to let them in.

They filed in, and as they left with box after box, the realization that he wasn’t coming back finally hit me. His bed was the last thing to go, and as I watched them drag it down the staircase, the memory from the night we made love washed over me.

I just lost the only man who was ever good to me over a cheating asshole and a two-faced bitch. One of the men stood in front of me, trying to catch my attention.

“Miss. We need you to sign that we took all these things,” he said, handing me a clipboard.

I was in a daze. You could have knocked me over with a feather at that point. I signed the papers and then closed the door to the movers…and to life as I knew it.

PERMISSION

COLE

It had been a few months since I had seen Adeline or Catherine, but spending some time overseas, and dealing with the issues of war-torn countries really softened my view on my personal issues. Issues that weren’t so far gone that they couldn’t easily be resolved. So after I got back stateside, and heard a rumor about Catherine’s current state, I couldn’t help but go and see her.

I found out from a close friend where she was staying, and headed over the moment I went on liberty. Slowly, I walked into the small stark room, looking around to see Catherine sitting in a claw foot chair, staring out of her bedroom window into the courtyard. She didn’t even flinch when the door closed behind me. It was like she was in her own little world. I sat down on her bed, the covers were plain, matching the hum drum décor in the room.

“Catherine,” I said softly, still holding the flowers I had brought for her.

She didn’t budge.

“Catherine, it’s me Cole,” I repeated, handing her the flowers.

“I miss him,” she said, without turning to me.

I laid the flowers on the bed and stood, taking a step toward the window. “Ezra?”

She nodded.

“He meant something more to you than what was in those pictures?”

A tear cascaded down her cheek.

“He’s gone, Catherine, and you’re still here. You can’t live life like this.”

“I don’t want to live life.”

“Stop saying things like that. The doctor told me if you stopped trying to hurt yourself, they would let you out of this place,” I said, looking around the room.

“What does it matter?” she asked, twiddling her thumbs.

I kneeled down next to her, cupping her cheek in my palm. “You matter, Catherine.”

She shifted her face from my hand. “I mattered to him, and now he’s gone. I just want to be with him, but the doctor won’t let me.”

I was torn, even though she had done what she had done, by no means did I think she deserved to be in a mental hospital. I loved this woman once upon a time, and I didn’t want to see her hurt.

“If you don’t mind, I’m kind of tired from the day, and I think I’d like to take a warm bath,” she said as she stood, making her way to the bathroom.

I watched as she undressed on the way, throwing her clothes on the floor as she walked, as if I were no longer in the room. I couldn’t believe how far gone she was. Maybe if I hadn’t cut her off the way I did, she wouldn’t be the broken mess she was today.

I picked up the bouquet and laid it on her nightstand, where I noticed a small wooden frame, housing a picture of her and Ezra from one of those photo booths at the mall.

Funny…the picture didn’t make me jealous at all. It made me sad for her. The water in the tub started to run, signaling it was time for me to leave.

“Goodbye, Catherine,” I whispered, touching the edge of the doorframe before I turned to leave.

Glancing over my shoulder one last time, I caught a glimpse of her stepping into the half-filled tub, her long black hair grazing over the face of the water.

The doctor met me out in the hallway. “How was she?” he asked.

“Not okay,” I replied.

He jotted something on a clipboard, shaking his head. “Thank you for visiting with her, Mr. Almen.”

I stretched out my hand to shake his. “I probably won’t be back.”

“I don’t think it would matter at this point, sir,” he said, grasping my hand.

He shifted his gaze over to a nurse, folding some blankets at the end of the hall. “Pam,” he called out.

She laid down the blanket in her hand, and smiled as she approached us. Her skin was a smooth chocolate brown, and her dark black hair was pulled into a tight pony tail at the top of her head. “Yes, Doctor?” she asked, putting her hands in the pockets of her light blue scrubs.

“Mr. Almen, this is Catherine's nurse, Pam Richmond. Pam, this is Catherine's friend, Mr. Almen," the doctor made a courteous introduction.

"Ms. Richmond," I said.

"Please, call me Pam."

I nodded.

"Can you please check on Catherine in a few minutes?” the doctor asked.

“Of course, Dr. Bradley,” she said, and then turned back to the basket of blankets to finish folding the last one in the pile.

“Thank you again for letting me visit,” I said, taking a step away from him.

“Of course, Mr. Almen,” he said, heading in the other direction.

I made it to my car and took one last look at the cold, gray concrete building that looked more like a prison than a mental institution, knowing I’d never see her again. If there was anything I could take away from this final meeting with Catherine, it was that life was too short for the bullshit.

ADELINE

It was hard to pick myself up from losing Cole. I had to move out of the house because I couldn’t afford to live there by myself, but not only was it the financial burden that spurred me to leave, it was the memories which ate away at me every day. Ezra finally stopped coming to me in my dreams, which was probably for the best, since there just wasn’t anything else to say to him. He had betrayed me and played me for a fool. I would never let another man do that to me again.

Working at the diner had become my life, and I spent most of my waking hours there, which made Rob extremely happy. If I wasn’t there, I was at Stella’s, helping her around the store, just to keep my mind off of things. She explained to me that this was the natural progression after a traumatic loss and that it would get better. I waited for better, but better seemed to elude me at every turn. I was glad I had her to talk to. I probably would have gone crazy without her and the store, but I often wondered if Cole had anyone to talk to.

Stella had heard through the grapevine that he and his team were deployed to Kuwait, and they were on radio silence. I worried that the drama would cloud his ability to focus, so I prayed for his safety every night before I went to bed and every morning when I woke up.

I tried to call him a few times right after he moved out, but he had disconnected his number. I probably could have gone to his office, but that would have made me just as crazy as Catherine, and I was not going down that road.

There was something terrible about having found a love you had waited for all your life, and in the same instant, lose it. One of the unfair lessons life had to offer, I suppose. As the days and weeks went on, the heaviness in my heart lightened and my thoughts of Cole began to wane. I was finally ready to start getting out into the real world.

Stella and I would go out to dinner once or twice a week, trying out a new restaurant every time. That night we were going to try out Dave N’ Busters. I heard it had a really relaxed atmosphere, so I dressed very casually.

“Hey, are you ready?” Stella yelled from the door.

“Yes, I’m coming,” I yelled as I threw my hair up into a messy bun.

“You are not gonna go out like that, are you?” she asked with a crinkle to her nose.

“It’s a gaming restaurant. Why should I dress up?”

“Okay, if you wanna go out looking like a slob…that’s you,” she said, her lips pursed.

“Well, we can’t all be as beautiful as you twenty-four hours a day.” I chuckled.

She waved me off. “Oh girl, please.”

We hopped in the car and headed down the 805. The parking lot was full, and by the time we found a spot, the line to get in was a football field long.

“How amazing is this place?” I asked, trying to peek around the line.

Stella shook her head. “I dunno. We can go somewhere else if you want?”

“Nah, we’re already here. Plus, I see a lot of people leaving, so they might start letting us in soon,” I said.

Twenty minutes later, we finally made it to the front of the line.

“ID, please?” the bouncer asked.

Stella handed hers over first, just as her phone rang. “I’ll be right inside, I’m gonna take this.”

I nodded as I handed the bouncer my ID. He looked at it, then looked at me, then looked at it again. “What?” I asked.

He didn’t reply as he handed back the plastic card. I shook my head in frustration and walked in as I stuffed my ID back into my clutch. A man walking in the opposite direction stepped in front of me, and as I stepped to my right to move out of his way, he stepped to his left, mirroring my movements. I was so involved with trying to shove my ID into the small clutch with my mirror and lip gloss, I didn’t even look up to pardon myself.

Finally we were able to move around each other, and as I passed by I offered a “Sorry,” under my breath.

“Don’t worry about it,” the man said, walking by, his smell so familiar to me.

I looked up, but he had already disappeared into the crowd. Through the sea of customers, I caught a glimpse of Stella chatting with a man, his back turned to me.

“Wow, she works quick!” I chuckled as I made my way over to her.

Stella peeked around the muscular man. “Adeline.”

The man turned around. “Adeline, how are you?”

It was Elijah. “Oh my goodness, how are you doing?” I asked, throwing my arms around him.

“I’m good,” he said, pulling away, looking past me, motioning for someone to come over.

I turned to see who he was motioning to. It was Cole, dressed in a pair of well-fitting jeans and a white t-shirt. His face was clean-shaven, his jaw line strong and fierce. His striking good looks could make any woman wet, and I must admit at that moment, I was no different than any other woman laying their eyes on this handsome specimen.

From behind, I heard Stella tell Elijah, “Let’s let these two have a second.”

Cole was grinning from ear to ear as he intently made his way toward me through the thick crowd. I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I watched him come closer. A flash of heat overtook my body with anxiety, remembering I had chosen to come looking like a haggard mess.

I could just hear Stella saying 'I told you so' in my head. I wished nothing more than to be able to turn back time and have worn something more flattering, but how was I supposed to know I was going to run into him? I bit my bottom lip as I clutched on to the edge of my faded black tank top.

COLE

I felt like everyone in the world was on a mission to stand between me and her as I bobbed and weaved amongst the crowd to reach her. I couldn’t believe she was only a few more steps away from me. I had thought about this woman every day since I walked out of her life, regretting every last second.

She was just as beautiful as I remembered, and I was never going to let her go again. I wasn’t going to ask permission to kiss her, or pretend that I needed to. She was mine, every part of me tied to her, and I could finally breathe knowing I was only a few feet from claiming her.

I stretched out my hand, grabbed the back of her neck, and pulled her toward me. Fiercely planting my lips on hers, I cupped my palm to her cheek, showing her how much I loved her through my actions.

We stood there, locked together for what seemed like an eternity bundled up in a few seconds. I loosened my grip on her neck, letting her pull away slightly.

Her lids fluttered open, her deep blue eyes staring straight into my soul. “What took you so long?”