Abiogenesis (9 page)

Dalia bit her lip, tamping the urge to smile, then concentrated on her food once more. "I’d be disappointed if you did," she murmured, "but you still didn’t answer my question."

Something flickered across his face, but it was gone too quickly for her to grasp it. Relief?

He frowned. "I am Reuel CO469, prototype for those," he gestured toward the other end of the ship, "for all the CO469s. I was designed using the company’s combined knowledge about robotics, bioengineering, artificial intelligence--even DNA structuring. When I was completed, they realized that I was more human than cyborg, which I have to suppose was the goal to start with. I had most of the advantages of being both, and few of the disadvantages--to their way of thinking, anyway. The problem arose that we knew we were cyborg. We were activated with that knowledge, with everything we needed to learn to become more human than cyborg, but none of the learning experiences necessary for humans to develop the correct emotional responses to given situations.

"Some of us managed to develop, more or less, normal responses anyway. Some did not and some simply could not accept that they weren’t human and never could be. They developed abnormal emotional behavior and became dangerously unstable.

"The company had already embraced the CO469 enthusiastically, however. They’d produced nearly ten thousand before they discovered the design flaw."

Dalia almost choked on the drink of water she’d just taken. "Ten thousand! We were told there was less than a thousand!"

"You, of all people, are surprised that the company lied to you?" he murmured wryly. "They destroyed several thousand before they had ever been activated, but the company cringed at the loss and finally decided to try something else. They reprogrammed some ... not very successfully. Those had to be destroyed, as well, and they’d already sent out nearly five thousand.

"They created a new prototype--you. They gave you--almost--everything that they had given to me, but they were cautious for once. The first VT570s were all female, and designed to be like their human counterparts, physically smaller and weaker than the male CO469s. They were also given a childhood--everything it took to support the fantasy they had created--and not told that they were not human. Since these were successful, they also produced male VT570s. All of them were designed to be rogue hunters ... to track down and destroy the CO469s.

"The things they learned from creating you, they were able to use to perfect some of the CO469s, protecting at least a part of their investment. But those who’d become completely unstable were beyond repairing and those who were not able to learn true emotional response were also defective in such a way that they could not recoup their losses, so those are the rogues that were first targeted for destruction.

"Phase two was to round up the remaining rogues and reprogram them."

Dalia frowned thoughtfully as she finished her meal and returned the tray to the desk. "I wasn’t told-- We weren’t told because they were afraid it would reverse the benefits of the additional programming?"

He shrugged. "I cannot say for certain, but very likely. It had the added benefit, though, of making the VT570 despise the CO469, which in turn made them very aggressive in tracking and killing the CO469. If they had informed the VT570 at any time, they ran the risk of having even more rogues on their hands."

"But you decided it was worth the risk in telling me?"

"We had little to lose."

Her lips tightened. "I, on the other hand, had a great deal to lose."

"Your ignorance?"

"My sanity," she said tartly.

He looked her over. "I did not consider that a risk. You are ... far stronger than a human; physically, mentally, emotionally."

"There was no reason why you should. As you pointed out, you had nothing to lose," Dalia retorted sharply.

"I said we had little."

It sounded like splitting hairs to her, but she let it drop. "Why did you impregnate me?"

Something flickered in his eyes. "I did not. I would gladly give up all the years that remain to me if I could. The gift of life is the one thing I would value above all else, but it’s also the one thing I was not given."

Dalia frowned, but her inboard computer had told her as much. Still, the fetus contained his DNA. "You infiltrated the company. You did something to me--without my knowledge or consent. Cloning?"

"I did have the company infiltrated, and I did have you watched and studied. Six months ago we discovered that you had begun to produce live ovum... The company discovered it only a few months after we did. That is why you were ordered to come in for more tests, monthly. I had someone placed, at first, only to make certain the company didn’t decide you were too dangerous to them to live.

"We had not found this to be the case in any of the CO469, and had to assume it was only the VT570 who were, possibly, capable of reproducing. You were the only one we had the chance to study, however, and we decided to see what would happen if male DNA was introduced at the time you produced a viable ovum. The CO469 was to introduce it, and inform me if you reproduced. The first two attempts failed. The third did not. Beyond supplying you with my DNA, however, I did nothing more."

"If it wasn’t cloning, then what was it?"

"Abiogenesis."

Dalia frowned. "I’m not familiar with this term."

"Life will find a way--theoretically, spontaneous generation from non-living matter. Strictly speaking, perhaps not, but basically, abiogenesis. The cells I supplied could not be kept alive indefinitely, and we could not chance sending more without risking exposure. In your case, your body extracted the DNA from my cells and combined them with your own to complete the cycle."

It was a lot to absorb at one time. She had made herself pregnant? Maybe her own body had instigated the chemical process, maybe it would have anyway--they would certainly never know now--but, just as certainly, she hadn’t done it completely by herself. "So--when the company discovered this--thing--growing inside of me, they panicked, ordered me destroyed? Where the hell was your inside man when I was running for my life?"

His eyes glittered, his face contorting with anger. "It is not a ‘thing’. It is a child--mine and yours--or mine if you’ve no taste, or instinct, for mothering. It is hope--a future--purpose for our kind."

She was a little surprised at his ferocity in defending something that was, when all was said and done, none of his damned business. It was in her body. It was living and growing because of her and it would not survive without her to provide it with the sustenance it needed to continue to grow and develop.

For that matter, he had a hell of a nerve implying that she might not have motherly instincts. She had conceived the child, hadn’t she? And, from what he’d said, with damned little help from him. She was just as intelligent as he was. If he could figure it out, she certainly could. "I suppose you think you have fatherly instincts?" she snapped.

"I will learn," he said tightly.

Her eyes narrowed, but she realized it was pointless to argue the matter now, when neither of them even knew if it would mature, particularly since she was not currently in a situation where she could prevent him from doing just as he pleased. "You damned near missed your chance," she retorted. "If I hadn’t awakened when I did, we’d both be dead now--me and the--child."

"The one who infiltrated was discovered a week before your last examination and destroyed. We came when we learned of it but discovered the company had already attempted to destroy you, as well. I didn’t know, for certain, that you had been impregnated until you told me when you--arrived."

There was at least some satisfaction in that, but it irritated the hell out of her to realize that she’d not only been used and chased after like a dangerous animal, she’d also been herded and trapped like one.

She extended her wrists. Reuel stared at them for several moments and finally looked up at her face. "You refuse to accept ... us?"

His hesitancy caught her attention. She had the feeling that he’d intended to say something else. "Truthfully? I don’t know how I feel right now beyond angry. As far as I can see, you are no better than they are."

He flushed, but only partly from anger. "You will at least admit that there was no other way for us? If I had approached you openly, you would not have listened to anything I had to say. You would not have allowed me to try to persuade you. You would have done as you had been trained to do. You would have tried to kill me and I would have been forced to kill you to protect myself, or take you prisoner."

"As you did."

"The situation was different. You came to me for help."

"Which allowed you to use me."

His lips tightened. "If you can see only black and white, and nothing in between...." He broke off; his expression spoke eloquently of frustration. "I took the only course open to me. If you cannot accept that ... if you cannot also learn to forgive, then you’re not as human as I believed and there is no hope for us."

As much as she would’ve liked it to be otherwise, she not only saw his point, she discovered she wanted to forgive him and accept him. She still didn’t trust him, however, and until and unless she came to, she wasn’t about to simply accept everything he had told her. "There is certainly no doubt in my mind that you are very human if you can believe, only because I enjoyed sex with you, that I’m going to believe everything you tell me and fall into your arms like a--complete fool!" she said tartly. "Learning to accept and forgive implies that I will be given time to."

Something gleamed in his eyes. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, proving to her beyond a shadow of doubt that he was far more man than cyborg, and she didn’t have to search hard to figure out why he looked so pleased.

She gave him a look. "Not that I have any interest in repeating it," she lied nastily. "But it was an interesting ... experiment." She had the satisfaction of seeing the smug look vanish, but somehow it wasn’t nearly as satisfying as she’d hoped it would be.

She didn’t want to examine why, but the pang she felt wouldn’t allow her to lie to herself. The truth was, she was ready to forgive him now, because she did feel a connection to him and empathy. Finding herself in pretty much the same situation was probably a part of it. Discovering that the life growing inside of her was a part of him, she thought, had something to do with it as well, but it was still more complicated even than that.

Some ... transformation had begun inside of her from the moment she’d met him, maybe even before she’d met him. Maybe what he’d said before was truer than even he realized. Maybe she really was his Eve. Maybe she’d been predisposed from conception to feel as if she belonged with him.

She didn’t know. What she did know was that she cared far more about him than she logically should have. She looked down at her hands and finally lowered them. "I give you my word I won’t do anything that could cause harm to come to my child."

Chapter Ten

Despite their tentative truce, Dalia was surprised when they arrived at the rebel camp only a little over a week later. She would not have thought that Reuel trusted her enough to take her to the camp. She certainly would never have guessed that it was as close, relatively speaking, as it was.

Contrary to frequent speculation on the part of the company, the planet the rebels had chosen was well within the inner quadrant of settled worlds and, since they were more human, physiologically than droid, they had of necessity chosen one inhabitable by, and inhabited by, humans. It was a young planet, however, and far too primal to appeal to the more civilized tastes of the confederation. Only a few small colonies had been established there by members of the confederation and those were near the poles, where the temperature was somewhat cooler. The species of humans indigenous to the planet had not even reached the point in development where they had begun to form a recognizable societal structure.

Reuel had been carefully distant and polite since their confrontation, but he’d begun to pace the cabin he shared with her like a caged beast most nights instead of sharing the bed with her.

She supposed her nasty remark had convinced him any further attempts toward intimacy would be rebuffed. His guess wouldn’t have been far off, not at first anyway.

She didn’t trust him, and she knew she couldn’t trust her own judgment if she allowed him to get too close. She needed time to decide whether she could accept what he’d done and why he’d done it. She needed time to accept the fact that her entire world as she’d known it had vanished. In the blink of an eye, she’d lost her past and her future. She’d lost herself--everything she’d ever believed was true, everything she’d ever believed in.

She thought she should have felt different, knowing now that she was not human. She couldn’t decided whether the fact that she didn’t meant that she hadn’t fully grasped and accepted it, or if it meant that she had fully grasped and accepted it, and it didn’t make as much difference to her as she would’ve thought it would have.

One thing that did not change was her desire for Reuel. She’d found him attractive the moment she saw him. Being with him had only increased her attraction to him because it had ceased to be a matter of thinking he appealed to her and become an absolute certainty the moment he touched her intimately.

Unfortunately, by the time she’d come around to the realization that there was no sense in depriving herself of enjoying his caresses, they had arrived on the rebel world and Reuel, showing every sign of relief, had escaped her clutches.

Dalia was in the cabin when they landed. Reuel had given her permission to roam the ship at will once more, but she wasn’t comfortable with the brooding, speculative looks the men cast at her. She supposed she had no right to quibble. She might not have instigated the little erotic scene in the rec room, but she had made no attempt to stop it either. The truth was, despite the fact that she’d never engaged in sexual activities before, she was neither self-conscious nor in any way inhibited about sexuality. It would never have occurred to her to engage in any sort of sexual act publicly, but she’d found it wildly stimulating. Most of it had simply been Reuel, but she couldn’t deny, to herself at least, that being watched and desired had added a touch of spice to it.