A Year & a Day (43 page)
Authors: Virginia Henley
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bereft emotionally. He was relieved that he would be able to send word of the English conquest at Irvine to the king in France, but personal satisfaction from the victory was impossible with Lynx's imminent death staring him in the face.
These days the governor traveled with his own personal guard of twelve, two of whom were his squires who acted as body servants and slept in an adjoining chamber. His squires immediately lit a fire, prepared his bath, and ordered him food, though lately his appetite was small.
John sat before the fire, gazing into the flames. He did not seem to notice that Fitz and Alicia had entered his chamber until Fitz-Waren spoke.
"Father, you look ill."
John lifted his chin from where it had sunk onto his chest and stared at the intruder. He seemed suddenly to become aware of where he was and what had gone before. "I am sick at heart. What good in gaining Scotland if I lose Lynx de Warenne? The price is too high."
"He died with glory, fighting the enemy, as any noble warrior would wish," Fitz said firmly.
John stared. Fitz spoke as if Lynx were already dead and most likely by now he was, God rest his soul."God moves in mysterious ways ... he gave him a son and a heir at the last minute."
"Lynx had a son!" Alicia murmured to herself before she moved forward with purpose. "My lord earl, the child is a bastard;
Lynx de Warenne was not married to the servant girl who claimed to be carrying his child."
John stared at Alicia, seeming to notice her presence for the first time."You are wrong," he said quietly. "Lynx left here after Christmas for the sole purpose of wedding Lady Jane, so that his child would be born in wedlock."
"How do we know it is his?" Fitz demanded.
John looked at him with sorrow. "Indeed, how does a man know if his son sprang from his own loins?"
Fitz's eyes narrowed with hatred. The urge to commit a murder gripped him by the throat and only the squires' presence stayed his hand.
"I intend to confirm Lynx's son as my heir to the earldom of Surrey as soon as I receive official word that my nephew has died."
"Lynx de Warenne lives?" Alicia demanded incredulously.
"When I last saw him, though I doubt he survived the journey home to Dumfries; his wounds were horrendous." Tears streamed down John's face, oblivious of those who witnessed them.
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snarling she-wolf. "You useless bastard, can you do nothing right? Lynx de Warenne lives!"
The back of Fitz-Waren's hand smashed across her mouth, sending her staggering across the chamber. "That is the last time you will call me bastard," he hissed, stalking after her. "All I ever get are crumbs from the de Warenne table. Even you are Lynx de Warenne's leavings!"
A terrified Alicia realized she had pulled the wrong string. She saw his intent and began to scream.
His fist shot out to silence her. As Alicia went down, her head struck the solid brass fender of the fireplace, silencing her forever.
Thirty
Lynx moaned softly. Lying beside him on the bed, Jane heard and her spirit flickered, then rekindled. She climbed from the bed and lit the candles to banish all the darklings, then she lit a smallfire to help make the chamber even more cheerful.
Jane's breasts were full and aching, so she bathed and slipped Lynx's velvet bedrobe over her nakedness and was about to call down to Grace Murray and have the nursemaid bring up her son.
Suddenly Jane paused on her way to the door and looked back at Lynx.
Breast milk!
I'lltry himwith my breast milk.Hope blossomed inside her. Slowly, she approached the bed and gently lay down beside him. She turned Lynx's head on the pillow and spoke to him softly. "Love, I want you to take my milk; I want to suckle you."
Lynx stared at her unblinking, while Jane wondered if he understood her meaning. Then he spoke the first words since he had returned. "For . . . baby."
"No, Lynx. He's fat as a little piglet. He doesn't need my milk. But you do! I want to nurse you ...
let me do this thing . . . don't resist me, Lynx, please let go of your will and give yourself to me."
Jane waited for him to give his consent. "If you won't do this for me, do it for your son ... he needs you to live!" Jane waited no longer. She cupped his cheek and drew his head to her lush breast. With gentle fingers she slipped the nipple into his hot, dry mouth. Jane held her breath, silently willing him to take what she offered. It was the only thing she had left to give him. It seemed she had to wait an eternity before Jane let out her breath on a hope-filled sigh as she felt his tongue curl about her nipple.
*
that he had not died on the battlefield. Jane was so small and sweet; it was wrong that she had to face his horrendous wound with its disgusting stench. It was wrong that she exhaust herself over him whenall she would have as reward was his death.
He could feel her nipple in his mouth. That she could even bear to touch him filled him with awe.
She had ordered him, begged him, and now she was seducing him to give up his will to her. He knew if he did not take the last thing that she had to offer him, she would be deeply hurt by his rejection. Lynx was sure that the end was drawing close and his breathing would soon cease. At this moment Lynx acknowledged that Jane was stronger than he, and that he must bow to her will. He knew the moment had arrived when he must relinquish control. Almost, he did not have enough strength to suckle. He curled his tongue against her rouched nipple and began to draw.
Miraculously, Lynx's starving body did not reject the nourishment that he took from Jane's body.
Later, though still fevered and in pain, Lynx felt comforted as he lay unmoving beside his sleeping wife.
Her close presence brought him a peacefulness he had never before experienced. It was as if his thoughts hovered above his body. They were crystal clear and so unfettered they began to soar. Quite impassively Lynx wondered if this was what happened in the prelininary state of death.
He looked at Jane's sleeping face and knew she was exhausted. What an exceptional woman she was. The qualities she possessed were so rare, he had never encountered them in a female before. Jane was totally selfless. She gave without taking. She had given him his heart's desire, when he had always secretly feared a son was unattainable. But now he could die without regret, because Lincoln Robert had made him immortal. What more could a man ask for?
He knew Jane's devotion to him was absolute. She had generously shared her body with him from the beginning, putting her trust in him, even though she had been an extremely timid and frightened girl.
And now she had shared her body with him in every way that it was possible. This time it was not to give him pleasure, but to give him life.
This is what love is all about! Jane loved him and Lynx realized suddenly that he loved her in return. It was a strange and wonderful emotion. Then panic rose up in him. He had never told Jane he loved her. What if he died tonight without letting her know that he loved her? His glittering green gaze traced her delicate features slowly, adoringly. She was exhausted; he could not waken her to tell her of his love, it would be a totally selfish act. And not the first one he had committed. Silently, Lynx began to pray that he be allowed to live until Jane awakened.
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Warenne's heart to see if it was still beating. She felt tears flood her eyes the moment her hand detected his heartbeat. To Jane, it felt amazingly strong. "He's very much alive," she said, smiling through her tears.
"He's sleeping."
Lynx opened his eyes. "He
was
sleeping," she amended, as his squires looked on with extremely relieved faces. "My love," Jane murmured, bending over him tenderly, "I have to look at your wound . . .
I'll try not to hurt you." As if touching a precious piece of porcelain, Jane opened the edges of the wound and looked into the abdominal cavity. She drew in a swiftbreath. "It's clean! Look . . . look, both of you!" She moved aside, allowing Thomas to examine Lynx with his eyes.
"The putrid smell has gone!" he said joyfully.
When Taffy bent over to have a look, Lynx murmured something to him.
Taffy's face lit up. "He must have retained some liquid . . . he has to pee! What was it he was able to keep down, my lady?"
For a moment Jane didn't know what to say. "I believe it was your barley water, Taffy," she lied sweetly, protecting the intimate secret she alone shared with her husband.
"I'll get some more!" Taffy said, rushing from the room.
Jane handed Thomas an empty jug so that he could help Lynx relieve the discomfort of his bladder. "I'm going to irrigate the wound again and leave it open to drain one more day. If it is still clean tomorrow, I intend to dust the cavity with sulfur and close it with sutures, then bind him up. What do you think, Thomas?"
"I think you have the true gift of healing, Lady de Warenne."
Jane smiled down into Lynx's eyes and placed her hand upon his forehead. "Your fever has lessened, darling." The look she saw on his face was neither relief nor gratitude. The look she saw was love. A tear ran down her cheek and she dashed it away with trembling fingers. "If you die on me now, Lynx de Warenne, I swear I'll kill you!"
After Thomas helped her change the bed linen and Taffy brought another big jug filled with barley water, she thanked them sweetly, but made it plain she wanted to be alone with her husband. The moment they were private Jane undressed and lay down beside Lynx. "Don't you dare to refuse me. I rule the roost at Dumfries. When you are strong enough you will soon overrule me, but until then, my lord husband, you will do my bidding."
Lynx raised his hand and with his fingertips stroked the satiny flesh of her lush breast. When his lips were close enough, he kissed it. "Love you, Jane," he murmured raggedly.
Jane's heart soared. Here indeed was a day filled with miracles! She stroked his temples as he took the nourishment from first one breast and then the other. "I will drink Taffy's barley water. It will help make lots of milk for you, my love."
*
bandages from ribs to hips.
"Now, we are going to clean you up!" Jane informed him with hands on hips. Though her manner was confrontational, her hands were unbelievably gentle as she bathed him.
She had fully intended to wash his tangled mane of hair, but she could see Lynx was near exhaustion. "Help me change the bed," she told Taffy and Thomas, who were assisting her, "then we'll leave him in peace for a while."
After midnight came the first of many drenching night sweats. Jane knew that Lynx was still an extremely sick man. They had managed to keep him alive through a critical time, but he had no reserves of strength or any stamina to carry him through another crisis. Jane also knew his pain was constant by the way he drew up his knees and set his jaw. She told herself that it was good Lynx was fighting against it, instead of lying passively. She decided to cut the dose of poppy in half and try to ease most of his agony with her touch.
One afternoon, Taffy beckoned Jane into the adjoining chamber. "My lady, I didn't tell you before because I didn't want to upset you. Lord de Warenne's uncle John, the Earl of Surrey, said he would come to Dumfries as soon as he could. He asked me to tell you that when ... er ... I mean,
if
your husband died, he would confirm Lincoln Robert as his heir. He wanted you to know that he would appoint a legal guardian for your son until he comes of age."
Jane's hand went to her throat. She did not understand the legal ramifications, but the word "guardian" to her implied that he meant to take her son away from her. "We must send a message to him immediately and inform him that Lord de Warenne is going to survive!"
"Too late, my lady, the governor just arrived in the bailey."
Jane's instructions tumbled over each other. "Run and tell
Jory. I must change my dress. Ask my father to come up here to me . . . No, no, Dumfries'
steward needs no instructions, even if our visitor is an exalted English earl and Governor of all Scotland!
Ask my brother Andrew to come up instead." She snatched off her apron. "Where is Thomas? He can stay with Lynx while I greet John de Warenne and at least pretend to make him welcome."
"Thomas is making himself scarce, my lady. He is covered with guilt over what happened to my lord at Irvine, and there is no doubt the governor will be demanding answers to some hard questions."
"Dear God, why did the wretched man have to come now?"
"I'll stay by Lord de Warenne, my lady," Taffy offered, though Jane could see he also was very apprehensive about facing John de Warenne.
Jane raced down to the apartment below, and while she was selecting a suitable gown for herself, told Grace Murray to prepare his lordling for a visit with the exalted Earl of Surrey. Lincoln Robert began to chortle and screech the moment he saw his mother. He was five months old and as big as a child twice his age. Jane gave him a hug and a kiss as she was unplaiting her braided hair. The moment it flowed loose, her son grabbed two fistfuls with great delight.