A Widow Plagued (13 page)

Gavin's chest froze. How easily John could have abducted Sara. Why had he not?

“How did ye escape his clutches, My Lady?”

Shaking, Sara stood apart from Gavin and hugged her arms across her chest. She continued walking toward the safety of the camp. “I-I kicked the m-man who grabbed me, th-then I r-ran.”

“Twas not Sir John that accosted thee?” James asked, confused.

“S-Sir John was th-there...and another. H-he has s-several m-men. M-maybe ten.”

“And how did ye come by that information?” Gavin demanded.

Sara sighed and sat at a log beside the fire's embers. “He c-came across me at the river's edge this afternoon. H-he made threats and th-then he c-cut my hair.”

“And what treachery on yer part led ye to keep this silent? Were ye meeting with him just now?”

The stress of the days events were putting Sara in a state of shock. Shaking, she could barely follow Gavin's words. “Answer me!” he demanded.

“H-he th-threatened H-Hannah, w-were I to tell,” she hedged.

“And Hannah is safe now? Surrounded by Polk's men and me knowing not a wit about it?”

“T-twasn't that sort of threat. He threatened to tell a s-secret.”

Gavin waved James away and scooted against Sara's side. “If there are secrets in this family,” he whispered, “I best be learning them now.”

Sara's entire body erupted in whole-body shakes. “I know n-not how he learned of m-my s-secret. I can only assume that L-Lord S-Sanders t-told Lord Polk. C-clearly S-Sir David doth not know. I would have it stay that way.”

“Explain yerself, woman,” Gavin growled, unsettled.

Sara took a deep breath. Peering back over her shoulder at the ever darkening woods, she sighed. “When I was five, my father died, fighting for the king. We came to live under the protection of Lord Sanders, in exchange for control of my father's unentailed lands. Lord Sanders was often away, fighting with the French. Once, he was away for nigh on a year.”

Gavin nodded, familiar with the duty of a vassal to his king. “When he returned,” Sara continued, “he was terribly angry. It seems, his lady wife was several months pregnant. B-but the b-bairn could not have been his. H-he had n-not been h-home to s-sire it.”

Gavin's chest ached. He did not wish to hear the end of this tale. “I-I know w-what ye are thinking, b-but do not!” Sara demanded of Gavin.

“L-lady S-Sanders was a good woman. While Lord Sanders was away, his brother had come to visit. He forced himself on the Lady Sanders. I saw it for myself.”

“Lord Sanders knew of his brother's treachery and said nothing to anyone. The servants all knew the truth. There were whispers that his brother met a bad end at a port tavern some months after...Some thought it God's vengeance, some that the Lord himself paid for his brother to meet a violent end. Either way, Lord Sanders never again acknowledged the Lady Sanders.

“It nigh killed her, to be degraded in such a way. She barely ate. She spent hours in her garden, returning to the keep only when summoned or coaxed by Millie.”

“When her labor pains began, Lord Sanders allowed no one to assist her. She was alone in that solar, G-Gavin!”

“I remember th-the day H-Hannah was born. T'was the same day a p-page accosted m-me in the horse b-barn and Lord Sanders told me I was a ruined woman. The lecher had n-not g-gotten close enough t-to ruin me, but Lord Sanders deemed me ruined, so I was.”

Sara stood and looked down at Gavin accusingly. “Ye judge me and my actions all ye want, Gavin Williams b-but do nay ever presume ye know the cross one must bear being a woman. Ye think us the weaker sex. Yea, no man can conceive the strength required to suffer degradation, pain, and humiliation, all while being called upon to smile, serve, and wax romantic over those very men who see to our own oppression.

“Judge me if ye like, b-but if one inkling of this conversation ever reaches Hannah's ears, I'll see ye burn in Hell!”

Sara turned to leave, and Gavin stopped her.

“Ye are angry with me?” Gavin growled, pulling her back to her seat. “I have done nothing but work to protect ye and Hannah,” he hissed in Sara's ear. “Sit here, while I rouse the men to protect our camp.”

Sara rested her head upon her knees and bit her lip. She was coming apart at the seams. She felt like a dog that chomped the hand that fed it. She knew better than to show her ire to this man, but she had lost control of her prized composure.

If Hannah were disinherited, what would she do? Sara now had Elizabeth's interests to consider, as well. She must convince Gavin to help her keep this secret contained. It was in all their best interests.

Nearly silently, Thomas and Sir David slipped from the wagon and began walking the perimeter of the camp. Gavin returned to the fire and added a log. The flames licked hungrily, greedily moving to consume the dry fodder.

“I told Millie that ye tripped and fell. She and Hannah need not know about Polk until the morrow,” Gavin sighed as he sat back on the log. “Now, finish telling me of the day Hannah was born.”

“Like I said, I was accosted. I was twelve that summer. I went to my room, and drowned my sorrows in tears. My mother found me there, and I hadn't the heart to tell her what happened. I simply lied and said I skinned my knee. She could see the bruises on my hands and legs, and she went about her day. Hannah's brother, Christian, was only three at the time and consumed much of my mother's time. She left me to my rest and took Christian out to play.

“I remember feeling very self-righteous. I remember feeling that Lady Sanders and I had been wronged. I decided to help her. I knew nothing of child birth, but in my twelve-year-old mind, I was going to be the hero and save her from a long-suffering death.

“I secretly gathered the tools I had seen Millie take to the birthing of other bairns in the keep. I knew I would need a knife, linens, and water. I piled my flask, dagger, and cleaning cloths within a satchel my mother used for gathering herbs.

“No one was guarding the solar when I arrived. No one was foolish enough to risk the ire of Lord Sanders by entering the birthing room against his wishes. I was.

“When I arrived, the Lady Sanders was incoherent. She lay motionless in the darkened solar. All the windows had been covered. I moved to open them and remove the heavy tapestries.

“I remember how she roused slightly and smiled as the sun lit her face...She was covered in sweat.

“'Millie?' she mumbled to me, and I hadn't the heart to tell her no one was coming.

“'Aye,' I told her. 'Millie will be here anon.'

“Lady Sanders turned her head to me and gifted me with a tremulous smile. 'So he still cares for me, after all.'

“'Aye, My Lady,' I lied again. 'All will be well.'

“I-I had never seen a birth before. I knew nothing of how the babe even came forth. Lady Sanders writhed and rolled on the bed and I held her hand and swabbed her brow for over an hour. I began to worry that the process was taking much too long. What if I were caught?

“I remember a sudden, wrenching scream. Water rushed along the bed, then trickles of blood began soaking the lady's night gown. With trembling hands, I pulled the ruined garment from her emaciated body.

“She was so thin, Gavin. Twas as though her legs were twigs that could snap in two if bent. Her arms had no flesh left. Only the small, rounded stomach moved.

“Grabbing my arm, Lady Sander's eyes seemed wild. 'Save the bairn, Sara. Promise me, ye'll watch after the poor thing?'

“'As I would my own child!' I swore, feeling valiant and brave. I meant it, too. I had just learned that day that I could never expect to marry. The child within Lady Sander's wasted form represented my own future. Twas my child, as much as hers.”

Sara looked at Gavin, certain he could never understand the strange bond formed between women at such times, but he nodded, and she continued.

“The labor proceeded on its own, with no help from me, but Lady Sanders was weak and she was losing blood. When Hannah came forth, tiny and blue, upon the bed sheets, I picked her up and wiped her off with the linens I had brought.

“She was still attached to her mother with the cord, and I assumed that was what the knife was for. I did not want to hurt them, though, so I used my water flask to wet the linen and continued to clean Hannah and pat her back. She cried out, and I was frightened that Lord Sanders would come and find me there.

“'Cut the cord and g-give m-me my bairn,' Lady Sanders croaked through parched lips. With a shaky hand, I bent the cord and cut it. Blood spurted from both ends, and I nearly fainted, thinking I'd killed the bairn.

“Quickly, I rushed to the desk and grabbed a bit of twine the Lady Sanders had been using to bind up her missives. I tied the piece onto the chord attached to Hannah's belly, wrapped her in the remaining cloth, and handed her to her mother.

“'A girl', I said.

“'Thank God,' Lady Sanders replied smiling. Twas then that she grew very white and her eyes rolled back in her head. She would have dropped Hannah, but I scooped her up.

“Blood was gushing from her, and I knew I had to seek help. Running from the room, Hannah in my arms, I screamed.

“Twas as if I was in a dream. I recall rushing down the steps to the hall and several servants looking up to me as I came. They all heard me, but they dropped their head and went about their work. Rushing into the kitchen, I found Millie.

“'Please, Millicent,' I begged. 'Thou must aid the Lady. She is bleeding! She will die! Thou must help her.'

“Millie placed a calming hand on my arm, then turned me back toward the solar. Together we climbed the stairs while the servants pretended to not notice. By the time we returned to the solar, Lady Sanders was dead.

“'I will send for the priest and a nurse maid,' Millie said to me woodenly, then covered Lady Sander's broken body with a sheet.

“I remember hugging Hannah too tightly against me and her tiny, kitten cry. I ran with the bairn to my room and held her on my bed, frightened for what the Lord Sanders might do about his dead wife's bastard.

“By nightfall, the wet nurse arrived and was able to coax Hannah into feeding. I sat close by her side, taking the child from her whenever she was finished. Lord Sanders did nothing. He did not acknowledge Hannah, nor did he deny her.

“Twas not so different from any other female infant, really. My mother named her Hannah and we all went about our business at raising her a lady. Hannah never knew the story of her birth, and I never wish her to.”

Sara looked up at Gavin. Gavin stared back at Sara. They had more in common than he had realized. “I will do my best to keep Hannah's lineage a secret...Tell me, how did ye come to be married to Lord Sanders?”

Sara sighed. “My father's land is a small parcel, but it is valuable. It runs along a tributary. Whoever controls the tributary, controls the goods that come into and out of the region by boat. Lord Sanders was able to ship goods quite cheaply and made a tidy profit.

“My cousin arrived one day and demanded the land be turned over to him. He insisted that Lord Sanders had no rightful claim. Sanders married me to protect that claim.”

Gavin nodded. “It seems, then, that Sir John will likely be meeting us at Windsor . He has some claims to make against Lady Hannah, and he, no doubt, will relish doing so in front of the court.”

Sara gasped and leaned toward Gavin. “Please, we must stop him.”

“Ye told me he said as much to thee at the creek. Why, then, didst thou risk all our safety by meeting with him tonight?”

Sara shook anew. “He said he needed only one small favor from me. I thought that if I met him, I could find out more about what he planned.”

“Did ye?”

“Aye,” Sara dropped her head.

“Speak,” Gavin prompted.

“He asked whether we had consummated our marriage. I refused to answer, and he laughed, assuming we had not. I-I told him that we had shared a marriage bed, but he was unconvinced. He moved towards me to lay hands on me. It was then I ran and had to escape his man.”

“He thinks to take ye for his own,” Gavin growled. “He will not.”

Grabbing Sara by the arm, Gavin whistled softly. Thomas jogged up to await Gavin's orders.

“Keep watch over the wagons for the remainder of the night. Ye can all take turns sleeping in the wagons tomorrow, while we travel.” Thomas nodded, and returned to monitoring the perimeter.

“We should be safe enough. I'd wager Sir John will move his men to beat us to the king.”

“Ye'll stay with me tonight,” Gavin stated, guiding Sara towards the men's wagon.

“I'll be fine with the others-”

“Nay-ye are my wife and ye'll stay with me.”

Gavin lifted her onto the wagon's small ladder, and she climbed into the small space. Just as in her wagon, a feather tic took up nearly all the floor space. Sitting down with a flop, she leaned to remove her leather turn shoes.

“Sara?” Gavin hedged.

Sara craned to look up at his darkened, towering figure.

“How fares thee?”