A Whisper in Time (33 page)

Her words surprised a forthright and candid response from me. “Whyever would he choose the lesser option?”

“For your sake.”

My face must have reflected my shock, for she went on to declare that William fancies himself in love with me
.

I knew a thrill of deep joy to hear this news, but the pleasure was short-lived
.

Mrs. Eton opined that his choice was driven by the knowledge that New Bern society would never accept me as his wife—as the Eton family is far too well-known in that city. To them, I would always be a laborer—the housemaid from the home of his youth. In Edenton, he would be able to pass me off as the daughter of a village tutor who married above herself but slightly
.

With her little speech concluded, Mrs. Eton turned away from me and resumed her stroll
.

I ached from head to toe, as if I had fallen a long way and could barely move, so battered and bruised by emotion was I. When she threw a glance at me over her shoulder, I struggled to catch up, each step dragging as if my legs were weighted down
.

She reminded me that I would now be the one with a hard decision to make. She implored me to consider this information with both heart and mind, remembering that my choice affected the course of two lives, mine and William’s
.

My throat felt thick, yet I managed to ask if she had spoken thusly with her son
.

Indeed, she had. “It is hard to reason with a young man in love. He believes America is changing, and it is, but not as quickly as he might like.”

The rattle of carriage wheels and clip-clop of a horse drew to a stop beside us. Senator Eton jumped down, gave me a nod, and offered a hand to his wife. She placed her gloved hand—one of my creations—in her husband’s and bade me farewell. I could hardly hear her parting words
.

“Do what you know to be right.”

There was a loud rap on the apartment door. I jumped from my seat, startled at the sound. “Come in,” I said as I pressed down the computer’s top.

It was Sherri, beaming widely, a thick envelope in her hand. “Hey. Got a minute?”

“Certainly.” I glanced at the clock. It was barely past noon. “I had not expected you so early.”

“It’s my lunch break. I’m taking it here today.” She crossed to me. “I have your money.”

I shook my head, disoriented, craving to know what came next in my sister’s story. “What money?”

“From the invitations you addressed.” She placed the envelope into my hand. “One hundred dollars—and another job.”

C
HAPTER
F
ORTY
-F
OUR

F
IERY
AND
P
RIMITIVE

Procrastination paid off.

I checked my web alerts before leaving for school Monday. There were last-minute cancellations Friday and Saturday nights at my second-choice hotel outside Blacksburg. I grabbed one and then canceled my backup.

The day only got better. Susanna fixed me a seriously good breakfast. The commute to school seemed lighter than normal, and the school’s morning TV show had a long segment on homecoming. Gabrielle was featured heavily, which meant I was too.

In physics, we had a substitute, the good kind who ignored the lesson plan and told us to do what we wanted.

That was an easy decision. We wanted to talk.

I joined my friends at a free table in the back.

Gabrielle was smiling at the other two. “Did you have fun at homecoming?”

“Sure did,” Benita said. “You looked gorgeous in that gown.”

“Sure did.” Jesse shuddered theatrically.

Gabrielle laid a light hand on my arm. “Mark looked hot in his tux.”

“Thanks. You looked great, Gabrielle. From all directions.” When I exchanged glances with Jesse, we gave mock-groans in unison. Damn.

“Have to keep up a certain image.” Her lips twitched too. “Korry likes that dress.”

“I’m sure he does.” I shifted to face her. “How late did you stay at the dance?”

“Not much longer than you.” She brought up the photo gallery on her phone and showed me a picture of her and Jesse hugging on the floor of our gym. The lights were dim, the other couples were out-of-focus in the background, and his hands were pressed to the bare skin of her upper back. “Jesse was sweet enough to be my partner for the princesses’ last dance.”

He shuddered. “Sweet is not the word I would use to describe it.”

Benita punched him in the arm. “You’d better be careful what word you
do
use.”

“It was tame, compared to you.” He kissed her cheek.

“Good answer.” She kissed his mouth.

“Um, guys, we’re in physics,” I said with a laugh. How did they get away with stuff like that?

They rolled their eyes at me and then turned the conversation back to the dance. I wasn’t careful about tuning in. Lengthy descriptions of dresses were not my thing. I’d rather talk about the football game—which I hadn’t been able to see until the second half.

Jesse cleared his throat. “Benita and I met Susanna Saturday.”

I refocused. This topic interested me.

“Really?” Gabrielle’s eyebrow shot up. “Where?”

“At the Museum of Art.” I left it there.

“An exhibit?”

I shook my head. “A date. Out near the sculpture garden.” It had been an amazing date. Susanna had been so…brave. I could feel the heat rising in my face.

Gabrielle’s eyes widened. She turned to Benita. “What’s she like?”

Benita exchanged a long glance with Jesse before answering. “I think Susanna is my hero.”

Jesse nodded in agreement.

I sat there silently, soaking up everything they said. It was the first time I’d experienced Susanna through another teen’s eyes. Well, besides Alexis, and she didn’t count.

Gabrielle frowned. “Why do you say that?”

“She’s just…” Benita looked to me. For what? Permission? Encouragement? She wasn’t getting either, but I also wouldn’t put any controls on what she said. I had to trust them to do the right thing.

Benita looked back on Gabrielle. “I guess you’d have to meet her to understand. She’s sweet…”

“Hot,” Jesse added.

“Quiet…”

“Hot.”

Gabrielle shifted her attention to Jesse. “What makes her hot?”

“The hair? Even better in person than in photos.” One corner of his mouth twitched. “And her voice is, like, wow. All low and husky.” Then, for once, Jesse lost the teasing smile and looked completely serious. “But it’s more than that, you know. She doesn’t use many words, but they’re the perfect words. And her body language when she’s talking with you? It’s like you’re the most important thing in the world to her at that moment.”

He and I fist-bumped. I couldn’t have said it better.

“And the way she looks at Mark?” Benita leaned so close to Jesse that their noses practically touched. “I want you to look at me that way.”

“What way are you talking about?” My voice sounded oddly raspy.

Benita locked gazes with me. “Like you’re heaven itself, come down to earth.”

Silence greeted her statement, as if that’s what it needed to be savored. I hunched forward on the table, head bowed, wanting to be away from here.

“How do you feel about her?” Gabrielle’s question was so soft that it nearly blended with the noise in the room.

“Susanna is everything to me.” Something fiery and primitive licked through my veins. “I can’t imagine a world without her.”

C
HAPTER
F
ORTY
-F
IVE

S
IMPLE
Y
ET
H
EARTBREAKING

I joined Sherri in the kitchen for lunch. It took me a few moments to direct the conversation to her announcement about another job. The excitement was hard to contain.

“It’s a wedding, which could be a problem. I know the family slightly. You can definitely expect a bridezilla.”

I shook my head at the unfamiliar term. “Bride-
zilla
?”

“Oh, sorry.” She laughed. “That’s what we call a bride who turns into a spoiled, self-centered brat as her wedding approaches.”

This didn’t sound pleasant, but the payment did. Truly, it would be hard for a “bridezilla” to be worse than the employers I’d had for eight years. “I shall be glad to do the work.”

“Five hundred invitations will take a lot of time.” She smiled.

Five hundred? I should not like that many people at my wedding. Indeed, the only person I would need at my wedding was… No, I must stop such thoughts. “Please let them know that I accept.”

Sherri continued to talk about this new job, her work at the hospice center, and other bits of information that came to her mind. I listened quietly, not always understanding but content to stay where I was. Pleasant visits between us had been rare. I would do nothing to shorten this one.

When at last she went upstairs to her suite, I ran up to the apartment and opened the computer, anxious to finish the pages that remained in my sister’s final journal.

September 22nd, 1801

Tonight I shall consider the many reasons a marriage between us can never be
.

As my husband, William would be doomed to serve as the doctor of towns distant from his family and friends. Would he not grow weary of this limitation?

I should be the mistress of his home. Could I succeed? I was raised on a farm. I know much about cleaning a large house but little about running the type of household suitable for William. If we entertained, would my humble beginnings be evident to all?

What of my needlework? I love the feel of beautiful fabric in my hands and the bloom of embroidery beneath my fingers. Would I give up adorning linens, gloves, and gowns? Would I be restricted to the useless objects that fine ladies make?

The final reason—the one I fear most—is discovery. What might happen if our deception was ever revealed? How would the townsfolk react? Might they shame us into moving?

Would the constant threat of discovery take the joy from our days?

* * *

September 23rd, 1801

William and I love truly and deeply. Is that not a firm foundation upon which to build a marriage? Can there be any stronger?

We shall work hard. Our youth and good health will serve us well
.

If we have to move, we shall learn to enjoy our next home together
.

And why should the people of Edenton despise us if they uncover my past? It is an old city and a proud one. The ladies of Edenton displayed their mettle ten years before my birth when they refused to drink English tea. They even sent a notice of the Edenton Tea Party

to the English newspapers. Such fine and clever women would welcome

me, would they not?

* * *

September 26th, 1801

A most grievous blow fell today
.

Jacob Worth came to the shop at closing time. He has traveled to Raleigh to order the last of his supplies. He plans to leave within a month to arrive in the mountains before snow prevents his journey
.

He visited me to say his goodbyes. I wept at his news and told him mine
.

Jacob begged me to dry my tears, declaring that I was “a woman meant for laughter. All will be well.”

I dearly want him to be correct
.

* * *

October 1st, 1801

William has returned
.

I have walked about Union Square each day, hoping for his return. And suddenly he was there, waiting for me
.

We ran into the hiding shade of a willow tree, full of smiles and sighs. Before I had a chance to utter a word, he drew me to him and pressed his lips to mine in long, thrilling kisses
.

“I love you, Phoebe.” His voice flowed over me like rich honey
.

I quickly professed my love to him. Such a slight statement for so much meaning
.

“Our time apart seemed an eternity.”

Indeed. I laid my head against his chest and closed my eyes against the world around us. It faded from my mind until there was naught left but the safety of his arms
.

He spoke of his agreement with the good people of Edenton and that he would have to move there by month’s end
.

I breathed in his news, the words filling my lungs like sweet air
.

“Come with me, Phoebe, as my wife.”

Even now, hours later, I can hardly believe it is true
.

Did he ask me to marry him or had it all been a dream? It felt real and yet when I strain to recall, it fades away like wisps of fog
.

What I have most longed for has come to pass. How shall I answer him? Do I have the courage to claim his offer?

Why had William accepted the position before conversing with Phoebe? If she rejected his offer, he would be honor-bound to move to Edenton nonetheless. Was he that certain of my sister’s response?

If she agreed to his offer, did he not realize that their secrets would follow them? His father was a famous war hero and senator. One of William’s grandfathers had been a royal governor; the other, one of the state’s wealthiest landowners. The whispers would surely reach Edenton. Its fine families would murmur over Phoebe’s inability to play an instrument and speak French. They would sniff over how little she knew of planning parties or making aimless conversation. William, who had been raised in the highest of society, would be snubbed because he’d chosen the wrong wife. Would that not chafe over time?

October 3rd, 1801

I received a hand-delivered note today. It is from Jacob Worth. He has asked me to marry him
.

He makes no claims of love—not the kind I have with William. It will be a union of friends who wish to prosper in a land of unlimited possibilities
.

Jacob returns to Raleigh on October fifteenth, to claim his supplies and, perhaps, me. We could be married in Worthville and begin our journey west the same week
.

My head pounds and my heart aches. What is the right thing to do?