Shell noticed the look of aggravation on my face.
“Something wrong?”
Didn't feel like getting into it, so I flat-out lied. “No. Just business. Give me your phone.”
“Why?” she questioned.
“Just give it to me.”
Reluctantly, she complied before stepping into the bathroom. Going to her contacts, I pressed the icon for a new entry. I entered my information and saved it. Then I dialed my number. I let it go to voice mail. I just needed her number to show up in the call log so I could lock it in my phone. Shell returned wearing a pair of shorts. I handed the phone back to her. “Last night was . . . good,” I said, walking toward the front door.
“So was this morning,” she laughed.
I watched her ass jiggle as she paraded in front of me, unlocking the front door. I tapped her on it, making her jump. I wanted to tap it again . . . in more ways than one.
“You ladies have a good time at the fair today.”
“Thank you,” she replied. “And, Carl.”
“Yes?” I asked as I walked out the door.
“Thank you. For everything else.” A huge grin crossed her face.
“You're welcome,” I said.
Then I thought to myself, Yeah, my time with Shell isn't over yet. Not by a long shot.
I got out of the shower, dried off, and quickly got dressed. When I arrived at the restaurant at eight thirty on the dot, Diego was already there. He had gotten us a table with a clear view of the ocean. He had also gotten us a large pot of coffee.
“Wasn't sure you were going to make it,” he chuckled. “I guess Shell really worked you over last night.”
“Very funny, motherfucker. You got jokes,” I said, pouring a cup of coffee. “The coffee's half gone, so I'm guessing it's safe to say you didn't get much sleep either.”
Diego took a sip of the light colored beverage. His idea of coffee was more like a whole bunch of sugar and milk with just a touch of coffee.
“True. So you want to talk about what happened with Dalisay?”
“You heard what happened.”
“No, I heard what you
said
to her. I don't want to make assumptions about what's really going on.”
He looked me squarely in the eyes. In a way, I felt I owed Diego the truth when it came to Dalisay. If it wasn't for him, I might be in prison for assault . . . or worse, and even though she was the one who called him, I know he was looking out for me, not her.
“She doesn't want a divorce. Claims we can work it out.”
Diego had a look of surprise on his face.
“You can't tell me she really believes that. I mean, after
everything
she did, she can't possibly think you'd take her back.”
“Apparently she does,” I replied.
Our food arrived. I tore into it like it was my last meal.
“For what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing. Let the lawyers handle it. See, this is just one more reason why I don't want to get married,” he said.
“Negro, please, stop making excuses for why you don't want to get married. You just like playing the field,” I retorted, laughing. “Although, if you ask me, Ricki's the closest thing you've had to a girlfriend in a minute.”
“You're right,” Diego sneered, looking up from his meal. “Nobody asked you.”
I hardly ever brought up Ricki, but Diego had that young woman around for so long, I wasn't lying when I said she was the closest thing he had to a girlfriend. I felt if your best friend couldn't tell you the truth, then who could?
“Be an asshole if you want, but that girl is going to expect more from you, probably sooner rather than later, and you're going to be left with two choices: either man up, or let her go.”
Diego huffed. “Ricki knows better than to even try to give me an ultimatum. She knows what will happen if she does,” he replied, smugness in his tone.
“Okay, bro, if you say so. Just don't let those words come back to bite you in the ass,” I said.
“Never gonna happen,” he chortled, haughtiness oozing from those words.
I looked at him, shaking my head.
“All right, man. I hope you're right. But when she goes all
Fatal Attraction
on you, don't come crying to me. Just remember, little girls who get their feelings hurt can eventually become scornful, bitter women, and there's no telling what she might do then. On that note, I'm done.”
I let it go because I knew talking to Diego sometimes was like talking to a brick wall; it got you nowhere.
“'Bout damn time,” he laughed. “Look, man, I appreciate what you're saying, but I know Ricki a lot better than you do, and I know she won't make waves, and she's not going anywhere, so it's all good. Now, let's talk business.”
Now that was something Diego and I could always agree on. The rest of our breakfast time was spent brainstorming, and while it was productive, my mind was elsewhere, mainly on my looming divorce that was about to become very messy. I just couldn't shake the feeling that my life was about to get a lot more complicated.
Chapter
13
Mischelle
The smell of bacon greeted me once I finally opened my eyes. I jumped up from my sleep with a slow drum of satisfaction beating between my thighs. My phone was beeping from my clutch across the room, and I remembered all that had happened before Carl had left this morning. It came rushing back like a 3-D movie. Oh God, what had I done?
I'd really cheated on Malik. I'd broken my vows. I didn't know how to feel about that. Even though Malik had been a grade-A asshole and had cheated on me, I questioned my moral standings because I'd turned around and done the same thing to him. Jesus, what had I done? Had I been so drunk in lust that I'd lost my mind?
Possibly so. But the way Carl had handled me sent chills up my spine. The way he'd explored my body like he'd been specifically sent to do it made me close my eyes and shutter. I could feel my breasts swelling and nipples hardening at the thought of it. To see his beautifully handsome face between my thighs before he left had stunned me. And my, oh my, could that man eat some pussy. The way his thick tongue would flatten against my lips just before he would lick from my opening up to my clit had me on edge. My stomach clenched involuntarily as I got the sensation all over again.
I sat up. Felt my body aching as if I had worked out with one of those CrossFit training freaks. My inner thighs were sore from where Carl's big hands had spread my thighs while he worked his hips against my pelvis. He could move his hips like no man I'd ever encountered. Carl wasn't afraid of hip thrusting and whining. He'd shown me that on the dance floor. I shouldn't have been surprised that he wouldn't mind doing the same in bed.
I yawned as I stood. Scratched my fat ass as I walked over to the dresser to take my phone from my clutch. I could still taste the stale alcohol on my breath, and it made me frown. The hardwood floor was cold underneath my feet. I saw I had missed calls from Malik and guilt settled into the pit of my stomach like anvils. Walking over to the window, I closed it as it was a bit chilly in the room. Then I dialed my husband's cell and waited for him to answer.
“Why you ain't answer your phone?” Malik asked as soon as he picked up the phone.
“I was sleeping,” I stated flatly.
“What were you doing last night that has you sleeping the day through?”
I almost stuttered when I opened my mouth. Started to chew on my bottom lip. Three golden condom wrappers lay haphazardly on the floor while Carl's scent saturated my skin. He smelled so good, the scent he'd worn was like an aphrodisiac. I kept seeing his face as his locs swung around his shoulders and back that morning. He'd taken his locs down after the first time we'd sexed. They were a lot longer than they looked in the braids. They sat middle of his back.
Malik had always been good at reading me, and the last thing I needed was for him to call me on my shit before I could think of a plausible excuse. Yes, he'd cheated on me, but did I need him to know what I had been doing?
No.
I told him, “Gabby and I went out last night.”
“So you staying out all night like a filthy ho just because you ain't at home? You left my kids somewhere just to go clubbing?”
I sighed heavily. “You got some damn nerve,” I spat out venomously. “Some fucking nerve when you're the one who ran off and left your whole damn family for some piece of young ass.”
“I didn't run off and leave my family. I left
you,
” he shot back coolly.
His words stung. I couldn't pretend they didn't. I had to swallow my pride and tears. The bile that had risen in my throat threatened to come up.
Malik didn't seem to care that his words cut like the sharpest two-edged sword. He kept right at it. “So get that shit straight, I left you. I left a woman who put her little book writing shit and school before her husband. Left a woman who wouldn't give her husband no pussy. Found somebody who actually paid attention to me.”
The tears that I'd been fighting against started to stroll down my cheeks.
“So you want a divorce is what you're saying?” I asked him, just for clarity.
“I don't want to be with you no more. I don't.”
I inhaled and exhaled heavily. “Malik, this is a marriage. You don't just walk away from a marriage. This isn't some rinky-dink relationship. We stood before God and took vows!”
“Yo, where my kids?” he asked, completely ignoring everything I'd just said.
“Malik!”
“Where my kids?”
Outside my window, it was cloudy, but had just enough sunlight to brighten the day for the outdoor activities of the festival. I wished I could see just a little of the sun in my life . . . in my future. As of now, gloom had settled in.
“So, you're for real? You're just going to walk out on me like that? Make me a freaking single mother because you want to chase ass?”
“Making you a single mother because you chose to be one. You had a husband, but I guess other shit was more important than me.”
“Malik, I stay at home all the damn time,” I explained, tears rushing down my cheeks. “I go to Washington once a year for a book conference. I go to school at home for the most part! I work from home! What more do you want from me?”
Malik barked into the phone. “Pay attention to a nigga sometimes. You stay shut up in that damn room doing whatever it is you do on the computer. I come home from work and have to take the kids. Shit, I get tired too. Then you won't give a nigga no pussy. I can't even get my dick handled because you put your work and your school before me.”
“Malik, all I asked from you was to watch the kids for a few hours after work so I can get some work done. That's it. You're barely getting any hours at work. So I work extra hard to meet deadlines so I can get advances. Work damn hard to keep my GPA up so I can qualify for scholarships so what's left can be sent back to me so I can help with bills around the house. You don't want me to work outside the home. You don't want me to go anywhere,” I yelled. “Jesus Christ, what
else
do you want from me!”
I knew he could hear me crying. By now, I couldn't stop the tears from falling. The soul wracking sobs shook my shoulders and weakened me to the point I plopped down on the bed behind me.
“I don't want to hear all that shit. Where the fuck my kids at? Your moms got them or what?” was all he said to me.
When all I could do was cry, not giving him the answer he wanted, he hung up on me. I dropped the phone on the bed wondering what had I done to him to make him treat me like I meant nothing to him. I wracked my brain trying to remember a time when I had made my husband feel less than. I went out of my way to never disrespect the man. Did everything he asked me to, and it still wasn't enough.
I showered in solemnness. Tried to wash away the memories of Carl and couldn't. Tried to lather up enough soap to get rid of the sin I'd committed. Not only was I married, but Carl was too, no matter if he was going through a divorce. My God, what I was thinking? As I beat myself up, I pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a tank for the time being and headed downstairs. My braids hung down my back.
Gabby had the sliding door open, leaving the screen closed. For the life of me, I didn't want to burden her with my woes so I fixed myself up best I could. As the waves hugged the shore for the moment, the call of the seagulls and other birds could still be heard. The sizzling of frying bacon greeted me. Scrambled eggs sat fluffy on a serving tray along with golden toast.
“Well, it's nice of you to join the living,” Gabby jibed once she realized I was in the kitchen.
I smiled and headed for the pitcher of orange juice. She was smiling, but I could see that she was tired. Dressed in only red biking shorts and a sports bra, I could tell she was relaxed.
I poured myself some juice and said, “Ugh. I barely got any sleep,” I told her.
“I heard,” she said, then laughed.
I rolled my eyes, a bit embarrassed at it all. Still, when those memories came flashing back, I had to grab ahold of the counter.
“I feel so bad, Gabby,” I told her.
She didn't ask about what. She knew exactly what I was talking about because she knew me.
She rolled her eyes. “The deed is done now, Shell. Can't take it back, so there is no need to beat yourself up over it. Did you at least enjoy it?”
I nodded as a slow smile adorned my features. “I did. Best sex I've had in a long time. I'm not sure how to feel now. On one hand, I enjoyed myself a little too much, and on the other hand, I feel like crap because I betrayed my vows.”
“Girl, Malik has been betraying those vows since I've known you.”
“Yeah, butâ”
“But what?”
She gave me a side eye as she stirred grits on the stove. I hadn't expected her to be cooking grits. She hated the things. Thought they were disgusting. So there was no doubt she was cooking them for me.
“You'd better not be about to stand up here and say anything that remotely sounds as if you're about to excuse Malik's behavior. I heard you upstairs, so I know what happened. Screw him. Let's not forget that bacterial vaginosis you had almost two years ago. And I'm not here to beat you over the head with I told you so, but I
did
tell you so.”
I thought back to the time when I'd thought Malik may have given me an STI. After jumping down his throat, only to have him deny it vehemently, I had called Gabby in a panic because my vagina smelled like a fish had crawled inside of me and died. Most traumatic moment in my personal life. Luckily, my doctor had told me that BV didn't necessarily have to come from sexual intercourse. She'd told me it could have come from a number of things that may have caused my vaginal pH balance to become unbalanced. So I chalked it up to that and left it alone. Now it was coming back to haunt me.
Gabby turned to look at me.
With a hand on her waist she said, “Shell, I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. Malik has done you a favor. And I'll just leave that right there. Now back to you and Carl. Did he treat you like a cheap whore and leave money on the nightstand?”
As much as I wanted to be mad at her for saying how she feltâmaking me feel stupid in the processâI couldn't help but laugh at what she'd asked.
“No, but I wish he would have. Checked my bank account this morning and it's not happening for me.”
Gabby waved her hand. “Give me your account number again and I'll transfer you some money over.”
I started shaking my head. “Gabby, no. You've already done enough. I have debt with you now. I know you're trying to help, but no. I'm just venting, I promise. Just because I talk about my issues, I don't want you to think I'm fishing for money.”
Gabby frowned, went to the sink to fill a glass with water, then tossed it on me.
A big splash of water hit my face, neck, ears, and chest. I squealed and inhaled hard. I couldn't believe she had done that.
“Gabby, what the hell?” I yelled.
“That's for insulting me, and because I know if I hit you I'm too tired to fight your country thick behind off me. I would never in my life think you were fishing for money because you vented your problems to me! What the heck kind of friend would I be if I thought such a thing? Who does that?” she quipped, a bit angrily.
“I wasn't trying to offend you. I just wanted you to know thatâ”
“I don't care. You
did
offend me. I'm your friend, and if the first thing I think is that you're fishing for money when you come to me, then I don't know how to be a true friend.”
With that, she walked off and headed to the bathroom. I rushed over to grab the grits so they wouldn't burn. She'd made me feel bad about the whole thing. I hadn't meant any harm. Just wanted her to know that as my friend she wasn't obligated to help me and that I would never abuse her generosity as such.
I guess just because I didn't mean any harm doesn't mean I didn't cause any. When she came out of the bathroom, I apologized to her. She accepted. We hugged it out and moved on. I walked over to the door and looked out. The scenery looked as if it should have been put on a postcard. Even though the air was a little cool and the sun was battling the clouds for dominance, the beauty of the island couldn't be denied.
“I can't believe I had sex with a man I'd met only hours before,” I said after a while, talking to myself more so than Gabby.
“I can't either, but, hey, it happens all the time.”
“Yeah, but not with me.”
She shrugged. “First time for everything.”
My brows furrowed, and I walked over to feel her head to see if she had a fever.
She knocked my hand away from her head and asked, “What?”
“Trying to see if you have a fever. Is this the same Gabby from last night? The one who was trying to talk me out of a one-night stand?”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes as she put the last of the bacon on the serving tray.
“Oh my gosh,” I yelled. “You slept with Diego,
didn't
you?” I asked.
She tried to hide a smile as she picked up the tray and went to set it on the circular glass dining table. I grabbed the juice and two glasses since she had already set the table. She took a seat. Once the food was blessed, I kept staring at her.
“What, Shell?”
“Are you going to tell me if it was even good or not?”
She chuckled. “I didn't say I did anything!”
“But you did. I
know
you did.”