A Wedding Affair (The Wedding Affair) (61 page)

“Ian you and I have never talked about kids before so for you to take me to a property today that was so un-kid-friendly I just have the feeling that you don’t want children” I say what I feel I get out my objections now, before I forever hold my peace.

“Well I just thought it could be you and me for
a while you know just us” I look at him and the one thing that crosses my mind is I never wanted kids with anyone but Tristan, he was the one who put it in my head two years ago and last week of course, so for Ian to say he is not too keen on all of this is ok I guess.

“Ian you are right we never spoke about having children, in all the years we have known one another it was never a priority to us.” He seems relieved and content at my comment, but oh how I hate it when Tristan Bach is right, he knew all of
this and he is not even in the loop. So I won’t be a mom, maybe I should just get my tubes tied instead of staying on the pill, it will be just us two.

I move my head up to my pillow
and Ian looks at me to see if I am ok, what can I say, I don’t want to move from my home and he doesn’t want to fill any house with our kids. I feel sad like I lost something.

“Aria you know today you said something that made me think, we should buy another place why not in another city?”

“What do you mean?” Now he is asking what?

“Well what if we
bought a second home near the ocean? Or a cabin in the woods in Aspin or a townhouse or penthouse, in Chicago we can get a place so when we travel it will be ours to go anytime we’d like?”

Oh I am getting madder and madder and I don’t
want to blow my top at him because he has no idea what I am mad about, my mental list is getting bigger by the minute, he takes me to look at a house and never mentions it to me before, he really doesn’t want kids, he wants to leave here, he wants to buy a home in another state, jeez why not another country then? And the mother of all is that what I want was staring at me dead in the face, he offered himself to me on a platter, he made love to me like no one ever has and he shares my thoughts and my desires and he went after my DREAMS God damn it! And he is just seven minutes away from the misery I am in. I roll over I can’t take it anymore I just start to cry.

“
Aria sweetie, are you ok?” Don’t cry it was just an idea that’s all, I mean all of this is communicating we have to talk, it doesn’t mean it’s set in stone, please Aria look at me?”

I turn around and I am trying to hold back my tears as they fall down my cheek, he whips away my tears and pulls me in his arms.

“Aria it’s gonna be ok, you have to trust me, you have to let me know how you feel, I sometimes think that you keep everything so bottled up inside, no wonder this happens, it all gets the better of you” he kisses the top of my head and I cry harder against his chest, I miss Tristan. I pull away from him and sit up we are both naked I move to get off the bed and he reaches for me. And I say what I feel.

“Please just let me go” and in so many ways it means so many things,
let me go, please just let me go,
I go into the bathroom and grab my robe from the door and put it on, I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t like who I see, I have not been this girl in two years, I am crying, puffy eyes, flushed and tear stained, I have made so many poor decisions, I have looked for so many signs and reasons for my actions, now as I hit rock bottom I need to get a grip on my life. I wash my face.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

“Aria are you ok?” Ian stands at the door looking at me, he is wearing his pajama bottoms.

“Yes Ian it’s just been a very emotional day for me
that’s all” he walks over to me and stands behind me, our eyes meet in the mirror.

“Ian be honest, why did you ask me to marry you if you don’t want children, and you don’t want a family life?”

“Because I want you, I love you, you are the world to me” he is tearful and I turn around and hug him.

“Ian I do love you, I trust you,
and it’s just that what I thought marriage is and what you tell me you want are two different things”

“Aria do you want kids right away, do you want us to start a family?”

“I don’t know, I guess I would just like to know the option is there if we want it, I want you to be happy and content as well”

“Aria whatever you want, is what makes me happy”

“I know you are just saying that Ian you can’t be afraid to tell me what you think, or what you want, it’s wrong, and it’s not fair to enter into a marriage that way”

“Aria sometimes your ambition, your independence
, and your drive, are more dominating and intimidating than anything, it’s ok to let me take care of you, it’s ok to lean on me Aria that is what a marriage is”

“I am very self-reliant I have always been,
it’s the only control I have, and it’s just hard for me to depend on anyone but myself”

“Aria, I want
you to look for me to be there for you, to be there with you, I want nothing more than to take care of you, and you me? That is the marriage I want, and honestly if kids follow we will be blessed”

“So should I get off the pill?” I can’t believe I say it but it is Tristan’s words that haunt me.

He looks at me and hesitates,

“
You want me to be honest, not just yet Aria, let’s get married first and then revisit this conversation” I hate Tristan Bach for being right and for being the best sex I have ever had.

“Ian I have to pee” I walk away from him.

“You want me to leave?”

“Yes, I don’t want you to watch me pee” he shakes his head and leaves as he shuts
the door behind him. I pee and wash my face and grab my night shirt from the door and put it on, it’s a Cadillac men’s golf shirt that I sleep in sometimes, I don’t feel like being sexy anymore this evening, I go back to the bed and Ian is waiting for me, I lay down next to him and he holds me in his arms.

“Aria don’
t worry we will work it all out who knows we could have a dozen brats and a tree house in the back as our second home”

I giggle
at his antidote; he can be cute at times.

“Thanks Ian I needed that”

“Aria I need you, and if you come with kids and this house then I am a happy man” I kiss him for that one, and roll on top of him.

“Again Aria?” I smile as
I kiss him hard and rub against him I am rough with him and he is kissing me hard with tongue and I have to say this was a great way to put this unusual day to bed. Sexual gratification always wins over adult conversations hands down.

Ian passes out
right after of course me I’m still wide awake, I look over at Ian sleeping, I run my fingers through his brown hair, to get it off his forehead, he is so peaceful when he sleeps, he is content usually and for the most part he is so good to me, I kiss his softly parted lips and lay my head on his chest.

“I love you Ian”

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I drift off to sleep and I am under Tristan’s piano and he has just played a lovely piece for me, he locks the door to the Library and meets me under the piano, he lays down next to me and
I snuggle into his right arm he is kissing me gently as I rest my head on his out stretched arm, he slowly unbuttons my white crepe blouse and he pulls it from my waist band he runs his whole hand down my body and cups my right breast then he undoes the button to my jeans and slides down the zipper slowly. His hand is in my white lace panties as he slowly slides his hand down to my sex, he palms my clitoris the feeling is simply mind-blowing, sexy and romantic as he gently kisses me his fingers work their magic, I bend my knees as he inserts first one finger then two stretching me out, his tongue is now in my mouth and he is pushing hard on my clitoris as his fingers tantalize me into oblivion then suddenly my legs stiffing and I come quickly he stops kissing me and pulls down my jeans and panties and tosses them aside, then the sure fire sound of his zipper echo’s between us and he is laying on top of me with all his weight, he fills me and I moan I can’t move he is too heavy as he thrust his hips and he is over whelming beyond my comprehension, his lips are at my neck biting and kissing me, I am all sensation as my orgasm builds again he takes me to the brink again, his lips are now at my ear .

“Baby, you are all I ever wanted”  his words speak volumes as
we both come at the same time it is so erotic, and sensual, he fills me and takes me to that place that is ours.

I open my eyes and all I see is blackness Tristan lifts his head from my neck and there he is so handsome
and beautiful against the black underside of the Steinway nine foot grand above us. 

“Aria are you ok?” I hug him tightly as I look around oh wow I am here in my bedroom it was just a dream, I try to catch my breath I look around it is still dark outside
it was just a dream
.

“Yes I a
m fine”  I sit up and pull the duvet close to me.

“Did you have a
bad dream? Ian puts his arm around me and holds me close.

“Yes sort of I guess”
he moves my hair from my face.

“Well
My sweet insatiable girl you woke me and you were moving like you were having sex”

“Really, oh wow”
oh shit shit, shit, I was having a sex dream about Tristan while I am in bed with Ian, this is nuts I know wrong word.

“
I guess yesterday’s activities might have had something to do with it.” as his finger touches my lips.

“
Does that surprise you? He is adorable as he holds me close.

“I am not
sure I am surprised, I just think that for a girl who was a virgin up until a few weeks ago this is all new and exciting to you, it’s a whole world of exotic pleasures” we are now both awake. I am intrigued at the dear professors take on all of this.

“Plea
se continue” I get more comfortable as I look up into his dark brown eyes.

“Well when I
lost my virginity I was a teenager in college and back then I fucked every women in sight it got old fast.”

“A
nd how do you feel about sex now?” yes now I want to know, I look at him and I want him to be honest with me and tell me how he feels.

“We
ll Aria I think the novelty wears off, I think couples have to keep the excitement going in their marriage and that is why the porn industry is a billion dollar business, the sex toys parties are everywhere and I just never really thought you were this sex crazed vixen”

“Ian my decision to sleep with you when we got engaged did you even want to?” he adjusts his pillow behind his head and I
look at him.

“Aria this really bothere
d me, I mean you waited so long and then that night all your religious beliefs went out the window, did you think we had to have sex?” when he says this to me I have a feeling that sex, lust and desire is something not on his brain like it is on mine. I look at him and he seems to be confessing this to me as if it has been pondering him.

“I don’t know, I mean Ian I don’t regret sleeping with you for one minute, I trust you, I have known you forever and I
thought you wanted to”

“
Aria, what I love about you most is in so many ways you are still the sixteen year old girl who let me kiss her in the closet at Danielle’s party” I smile as he holds me against his chest and kisses the top of my head.

“Ian that is why I said yes, after all these years you are still t
he one I can count on and trust to always be here for me”

“And I will Aria I never realized or imagined the effect that a sex life would have on you,
you are as ever challenging but mostly intoxicating my dear sweet girl”

“I waited for sex for so long and
now that I have had it, I want it to be mind-blowing, world shaking, life altering”

“Do you now, anything else”

“Yes I love you” and I kiss his chest.

“Aria
I love you! We are the lucky ones, how many couples can say they married their best friend? Some people go their whole lifetime and never find a friend and a lover in the same person”

I nod at him because he is right I have made my choi
ce three weeks ago to marry him. So what, I had mind-blowing sex, I have to chalk it up to experience and I must put Tristan behind us. Ian has not mentioned him to me so if he is not hounding me about him I should take solace and admit that our sex life is improving, we will get there all thought I don’t ever think we will get
there
.

“Ian you are right I just don’t wa
nt you to ever hold me to some high ideal, it’s foolish, I am hopelessly flawed, I’m short, difficult, inexperienced and gosh…I don’t know my left from my right and I…”

“Sweetheart that is why I asked you to marry me
, all of that is everything I love about you, your faults as well as your attributes .Aria don’t you get it, there is nothing that is going to change the way I feel about you” He kisses me and hugs me to his chest. Ian’s words are comforting, I guess in all marriages there has to be a reminder, I guess reassurance every once in a while why we are together, and it is nice to hear what it is that he cherishes about me.