A Wartime Christmas (29 page)

‘Was it a raid?’ Babs asked.

‘Don’t know,’ Kay whispered. ‘I was in the pub with Dolly and the siren went. We went out and towards the Tube entrance for cover. There was a big crash nearby and
everyone rushed forward. Dolly disappeared under the crowd.’ She stopped, putting her hands over her face. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it. Not even in the Blitz. There were
children too, trodden under all them feet.’

They were all silent until Paul cleared his throat. ‘How did you get clear, Kay?’

‘I don’t know. An ARP warden in the tent I was in told me a man pulled me out.’

‘You said the siren went and there were crashes,’ Paul murmured. ‘Well, I had to leave the car on the other side of Victoria Park Square. The police had cordoned off the area.
But I managed to slip through as the ambulances drove in. As far as I could see, there was no sign of a raid.’

Kay looked ahead with vacant eyes. ‘People just started tripping. Then falling. And everyone kept on going down. It was like we was all being pushed, one on top of another.’

‘Oh, Christ, gel, you were lucky to get out,’ Vi said.

‘You could have died.’ Babs was wiping the tears from her cheeks.

‘I was squeezed so tight I couldn’t breathe,’ said Kay.

They all remained silent again with only Babs sniffing until Vi touched Kay’s shoulder. ‘You need some rest, love.’

Babs nodded. ‘We’ll be next door if you want us.’

Vi saw them to the door. ‘Thanks for your help, Paul.’

He smiled. ‘Lucky I had a bit of petrol left in the car. I’d put it away for the duration, not thinking I’d need to use it again.’

As they left, Vi reflected that none of them had asked Kay about Sean. The terrible tragedy had put even him from their minds.

For the next few days Kay expected to hear an explanation of what had happened on the wireless. But there was only a brief reference to an accident at a Tube station.

‘It’s uncanny,’ said Kay as she sat with Vi on the wall in the yard early on Saturday morning. ‘It’s like it never happened. As if I dreamed it all.’ Wrapped
up in their coats, they had been watching the three children play, while Babs made a visit to the grocer’s. But the chill breeze and cloudy skies had caused Alfie, Gill and Tim to retreat to
the Anderson.

‘It happened all right,’ said Vi, balancing a fresh roll-up between her lips. ‘I ain’t seen you in such as state as when Paul brought you home.’

‘All those people were crushed,’ said Kay, still haunted by the memories. ‘But why? What was the reason? And Dolly, is she really dead?’

‘Could be in hospital somewhere. But you can’t traipse round every hospital to find out.’ Vi sniffed.

‘She wasn’t on the ARP list that night.’

Vi took in a deep breath. ‘Don’t look good, does it?’

‘If Dolly was killed, what’s to become of Sean?’

‘Search me,’ said Vi with a sigh. With one hand she pulled up the collar of her coat and shivered. With the other she puffed fiercely on her roll-up, blowing the smoke into the cold
morning air.

They sat quietly, each with their own thoughts, listening to the voices of the children playing in the Anderson. Above them the gulls were flapping and mewing. Kay looked around her at the
familiar neighbourhood: the smoke-blackened buildings that bordered the Cut, the damaged roofs and taped-up windows of the houses, the hole in the fence that was the kids’ path between hers
and Babs’s yards. All that was left of the fence was a few wooden stakes in the ground, supporting the saggy chicken wire. The roofs of the two Andersons were covered in winter moss. The only
green in the yards were weeds which had even begun to grow over Alan’s pile of wood wedged by the wall. Would he ever return to use it again? She hadn’t heard from him for eleven
months. Where was he? Was he thinking of her and Alfie?

Vi nudged her arm. ‘Penny for your thoughts, ducks.’

‘I was thinking about what Dolly said before the siren went that night.’

‘What was that?’

‘I asked her what this Alan of hers was speaking about when she first met him at Hyde Park.’

‘What did she say?’

‘She said he was trying to persuade men to join a foreign army. Somewhere like Spain, she said.’

Vi looked at Kay sharply. ‘Spain, you say?’

‘Yes. And Alan was in Spain.’

Vi gave a careless shrug. ‘So it’s a coincidence!’

‘Like the hundred pounds?’ Kay asked doubtfully.

‘Knowing Dolly, she was lying through her teeth about Spain.’

‘But why would she?’ Kay questioned. ‘She never knew Alan –
my
Alan – was there.’

Just then, Babs, dressed in her coat and scarf, with her shopping bag over her arm, hurried into the yard. Kay smiled a welcome, but it soon disappeared as Babs sped through the gap in the
fence. ‘Quickly, Kay, come and see – he’s outside—’

‘Who is?’ Kay asked as Babs pulled her up.

‘Quick! Quick!’ was all Babs could splutter as they hurried through Babs’s yard and into the house. The next moment they were standing on the pavement outside the front door.
Babs looked up and down the street, an excited expression on her face. ‘He was here a moment ago. I asked him to wait, but—’ She stopped, shaking her head in confusion.
‘He’s gone now.’

‘Who are you talking about, Babs?’

‘A man was waiting on the opposite side of the road as I walked back from the grocer’s. I was about to open me front door when he came across and said, “Mrs Chapman?”
Just like that, as if he knew me. I said yes, it was and he said he had something for Mrs Kay Lewis, and would I pass it to you?’ Babs drew a small package from her shopping bag.

Kay took it, and slowly drew out the contents. She gasped. ‘It’s my Post Office book!’

Vi came out to join them. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Someone gave me this to give to Kay.’ Babs nodded to the book.

Again Kay repeated her question. ‘But who was he?’

‘I don’t know, as I ain’t never seen him before. But he was tall and wearing a dark coat and a trilby hat with the brim pulled down over his face. Just like the bloke you
described to us.’

Kay swallowed. ‘The man who I thought was following me?’

Babs nodded. ‘It must be him. He knew I was your neighbour. And he could only have known that if he’d been watching.’

Kay shuddered. ‘You’re putting the wind up me now.’

‘But how did he get hold of your Post Office book?’ asked Vi.

‘It was in Dolly’s pocket,’ Kay said, breathing deeply, her thoughts returning to the Salmon and Ball pub. ‘She took it from me, thinking I might try a fast
one.’

‘But why would she give it away?’

‘She wouldn’t,’ Kay replied. ‘The money meant everything to her.’

‘He must have taken it, then,’ whispered Babs. Then, giving a little gasp, she added, ‘When Dolly couldn’t put up a fight to keep it.’

All three nodded slowly. Dolly would never have let that book go. Not while she had breath in her body.

It was just before Easter when Kay had a visit from Jean Pearson. ‘I haven’t heard from you since February,’ she said when Kay invited her in. It was a warm
late April day and they sat together in the cool of the front room.

‘Dolly wrote to me, saying she wanted to meet,’ Kay told her, being careful of what she revealed. If she told Jean that Dolly had wanted money then Jean would only say that she
should have gone to the police.

‘Why didn’t you come and tell me?’

Kay shrugged. ‘Dolly insisted I go alone.’

‘I see.’ Jean sighed. ‘I would have willingly come with you.’

‘Thanks,’ Kay said gratefully. ‘But there was nothing you could have done. Did you read the article in the newspaper about the Tube accident?’

Jean looked alarmed. ‘No, I didn’t.’

Kay swallowed. She still found it difficult to talk about that night. ‘We arranged to meet in Bethnal Green, but before we could say much, the siren went. Me and Dolly ran for shelter in
the Tube entrance. Too many people poured into the stairwell at once and many were killed.’

Jean looked shocked. ‘Kay, how dreadful!’

‘Dolly just disappeared in front of me . . .’ Kay shook her head, taking a deep breath. ‘But I was pulled out.’

‘Thank God,’ Jean said. ‘That must have been very frightening.’

‘Yes.’ Kay looked into Jean’s puzzled face. ‘Do you think you could find out the names of those who died?’

‘Well, I could try,’ Jean said thoughtfully. ‘But without an official statement about the incident it might be difficult.’

‘But why should such a tragedy be hushed-up?’

‘It’s wartime, Kay. We have to accept news is censored for the good of the general public’

‘But people died,’ Kay insisted. ‘Lots of them, children too.’

‘I’m sure it’s just a matter of time until the public is made aware of what happened at Bethnal Green. However, my main concern is for you. Are you sure you’re feeling
all right?’

Kay nodded. ‘But what happened that night is hard to forget.’

‘Is there anything else I can do?’

‘Unless you can find out about Dolly or news of Sean, then no.’

As Kay saw her visitor off, she thought that there had to be families of the dead who were, like herself, waiting for answers. But perhaps Jean was right. It may be that the censors who had
ultimate power over the publishing of information in wartime, and for reasons best known to themselves, really didn’t want the public to know the whole truth.

It was close to the end of June when Kay decided to speak to Mr Barnet. Alfie was four and a half now and shooting up in size. He was tall and lean, like Alan, and had his
father’s dark eyes and shock of black hair. Each day he wanted to know when he could go to school with Tim.

‘I’d like Alfie to start school as soon as possible,’ Kay told Mr Barnet as she sat in the chair by the head teacher’s desk. ‘He’s not five until November,
but he’s quite ready to come.’

Mr Barnet smiled at Alfie. ‘Would you like to start school, young man?’

‘I can say me times table,’ Alfie announced confidently. ‘And write me name.’

Mr Barnet smiled.

‘My word, at your age, that’s commendable.’

‘Tim showed me and Sean how to do ’rithmetic.’

Mr Barnet looked over his glasses at Kay. ‘Is there any news of Sean, by the way?’

Kay shook her head as she briefly thought of Jean, who had not been in contact. Kay knew her friend would have done everything in her power to discover any information about Dolly which might,
as a result, have led to Sean.

‘A pity,’ said Mr Barnet. ‘Sean was a bright pupil.’

‘Is Sean comin’ back?’ Alfie asked hopefully.

‘I’m afraid not, young man. But, if you are as eager as you sound to come to school, perhaps we can find you a place in September. Your teacher will be Miss Burns, who is in charge
of Infants. I’m sure you’ll like her.’

Alfie jumped to his feet. ‘Can I go to school, Mum?’

Kay looked at Mr Barnet and he nodded. ‘We’ll see you on Wednesday 15 September. School starts later this year as some of the teachers are doing war work during the holidays. Now,
I’ll give you the relevant papers to sign, Mrs Lewis.’

Mr Barnet provided Kay with forms and lists to fill out but when they left the school, instead of jumping the cracks in the pavement as Alfie always did, he walked slowly beside Kay, his head
bowed.

Kay stopped and brushed back his dark hair. ‘What’s the matter, love? I thought you’d be excited about going to school.’

‘I am. But it ain’t with Sean, is it?’

‘We don’t know where he lives now.’

‘Don’t he like me anymore?’

Kay pulled her son close and hugged him. She knew the bond between the two boys was close and that Alfie was missing Sean as much as she was. ‘Course he likes you. You’re best
mates.’

‘Will he come round again?’

Kay couldn’t give an answer so she quickly asked Alfie if he’d like to stop at Lenny’s stall for some of his favourite fudge. Alfie nodded, but Kay knew it was no fun eating
sweets without your best pal to share them with.

It was a hot Saturday in July and Kay and Babs were shopping at market. They had left Alfie, Gill and Tim in Vi’s care as they only intended to be away a short while. Vi
was happy to sit on a chair at the front door and doze in the sunshine as the children played in the street.

‘Alfie will be out of his sandals next,’ said Kay as they sifted through the piles of second-hand clothes. ‘I only bought them in spring. And I can’t afford lace-ups just
yet.’

‘What about that Post Office book?’ Babs said with a frown. ‘It’s what Alan left you.’

‘Yes, but what if it isn’t mine?’

Babs spluttered. ‘Course it’s yours! There’s your name on it.’

‘But where did it come from?’

‘Do you think it was Dolly’s? If you think that then it means you believe Alan was involved with her.’

Kay passed her hand over her wet forehead. ‘Babs, I don’t know what to think.’

‘I know what I’d do if it was me. Sod whoever it belonged to and feed my family.’ Babs lifted a pair of child’s well-worn lace-up shoes. ‘These are only a few
pennies, but there are more Blakies than shoe.’ She let them drop suddenly, blowing out a puff of air. ‘Phew, it’s too hot to go shopping. Let’s have a glass of lemonade at
Lenny’s. He’ll give us two for one if we smile nicely at him.’

Kay was feeling the heat too. There were wavy lines on the horizon, as the sun dazzled the eye. As they’d walked to market, the roads had been scattered with piles of horse dung that were
baking in the high temperatures. Together with the salt-tar smell of the river, the mucky brown flotsam floating on its surface and the spillage of waste from the big ships, the day felt oppressive
and humid.

Soon they found shelter under the shade of a tarpaulin that Lenny had erected over his wooden benches. As always, Lenny was obliging and only charged for one lemonade. Sipping her cool drink,
Babs looked at Kay. ‘I had a letter from Eddie yesterday.’

‘Lucky you,’ Kay said enviously.

‘He said he’s missing us.’

‘That’s nice.’ Kay smiled. She knew her friend loved her husband, but Paul wasn’t often out of her mind either.