A Very Merry Superhero Wedding (Adventures of Lewis and Clarke) (5 page)

At the easel, Lexie gently tied the blindfold over Grandma Esther’s eyes but didn’t spin her around. Grandma Esther took her cane firmly in one hand, stood quietly for a moment, then shuffled up to the poster with her other arm outstretched. As soon as her hand hit the poster, she pushed the pin in.

Everyone laughed. The condom was pinned directly to the appropriate part of Thor.

“What? Didn’t I do it right?” Grandma Esther asked, trying to get the blindfold off.

Lexie helped her, laughing. “No, you were great. Look, you’ve done the best so far!”

Grandma Esther moved forward to take a closer look. Then she turned to the room and said in a matter-of-fact voice, “Well, I do have the most experience.”

The entire room exploded. All the women were holding their sides and wiping their eyes, they laughed so hard.

Tori couldn’t talk, she could hardly breathe. But she wanted to say, this is the most fun party I’ve ever had!

“Tori! Get Tori!” someone called.

“It’s the bride’s turn!”

“Bring down the bride!”

Tori got up and stood next to Lexie and Sam. “I don’t think I can follow that,” she said to Joe’s great-grandma. She leaned down and gave her a gentle hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“I can show you if you want,” Grandma Esther said in a voice loud enough to carry.

Everyone laughed and Tori blushed some more. “No, thank you, I’ll manage.”

Lexie turned her to face the room, then tied the blindfold around her eyes. “Wait, you have to give me a condom first,” she told her sister.

“Oh no,” Lexie replied. “You need to learn to do this in the dark.”

More laughter.

Tori opened the condom wrapper, but when she pulled the condom out, it slipped through her fingers onto the floor. Oh boy, was this an embarrassing game. She started to bend her knees, but Lexie pulled her arm, giggling.

“Here, just take a new one.”

This time, Tori was careful not to drop it. She laughed as people called out directions on how to unroll it. When she finally got it to its full length, she played along with the crowd, holding it up and asking, “Is it long enough now?”

“You’ll find out in four days!” someone called out.

Tori felt Sam’s hand on hers, and she put a pushpin in the top of the latex. Then she felt both sisters spinning her around. When they stopped, Tori put her arm out, but Lexie must’ve been gesturing to the crowd because everyone laughed again.

“Nope, not yet,” Sam giggled.

Then they spun her around the other way. Tori nearly fell over, she was so dizzy. Her sisters let go of her and when she took a step forward, they took turns saying “warm” and “cold” and “warmer” until Tori could reach out and feel the poster.

She started to push the pin in, then moved her hand to another area. Someone called out “Ice cold!” and Tori moved her hand again. More people called out advice, some of it quite risqué, until Tori finally pushed the pin into the foam core.

By the time she was done, the room echoed with hilarity.

Tori pulled off her blindfold. Her condom was pinned to Captain America’s shield. “Well, it’s sort of close to the right part of Iron Man,” she said with a grin.

“Close, but not close enough,” Lexie said. “The winner of Pin the Condom on the Avengers Poster is Grandma Esther!”

Sam pulled out a big basket wrapped in cellophane. Tori saw it was filled with scented products from Bath & Body Works. Sam handed it to Tori, and Tori walked it over to Grandma Esther.

“Why, thank you, lovey,” said her about-to-be-great-grandma. She reached up for Tori to hug her. “Don’t worry,” she whispered in Tori’s ear, “his powers are nothing to be afraid of. You’ll be fine.”

Tori was so glad no one else heard that. How embarrassing! His “powers”? Was that how people used to talk about sex? She pulled away before Grandma Esther gave her a lecture on the birds and the bees.

When she walked back to her sisters, face burning, she was so relieved to find the games were over. Hayley motioned her over to the gifts table. Okay, good, that would be easier on her nerves.

Lexie handed her presents, Hayley wrote down who they were from in a little white book, and Sam took all the ribbons, doing something with them out of Tori’s view.

The gifts overwhelmed Tori with the generosity and creativity of the givers. There were kitchen items, including a Crock-Pot and matching cookbook, silver picture frames, baskets of soaps and bath salts and lotions, and pre-made “date night” packages with gift cards for restaurants and the local movie theater chain.

While Lexie took a moment to figure out which gift went with a card, Tori leaned over and whispered to her mother. “This is wonderful, but it seems like too much. I’m stunned and…” She shook her head a little.

Dixie hugged Tori’s shoulders and kissed her cheek. “I know you don’t like to be the center of attention, but this is you
r
on
e
day, sweetheart. Relax and enjoy it.” She smiled warmly. “It’s only going to happen one more time in your life, and then it won’t be about you as much as it’ll be about your unborn baby. Today, all these people are here to congratulate you and welcome you into their family. They need to believe you’re enjoying this. It’s your gift back to them.”

Tori thought about the times she’d been on the other side of this table. She absolutely loved to watch people unwrap the presents she gave them. It was fun to see their faces light up, no matter whose gift they opened. She took a deep, calming breath.

Okay, God, help me to give them a gift, too.

Lexie figured which gift bag a card went with and handed both to Tori.

“This one is from Liz,” Tori said and waved her fingers at her friend. She read the card, laughing at the message, then opened the gift bag. She pulled out a small box and opened it. It was a beautiful silver necklace with two hearts joined together.

“‘First comes love’,” she read aloud from the tag inside. “This is beautiful, Liz.”

She pulled a large box wrapped in tissue paper out of the gift bag. “‘Then comes marriage’,” she read from another tag taped to the outside. She pulled off the tissue paper and sucked in her breath. The box was decoupaged in all kinds of pictures and little decorations.

There were pictures of Tori and Joe that she remembered posting on her Facebook page. Pictures from a bridal magazine, pictures from a home and garden magazine, and words like “love” and “forever.”  Four black picture corners in the center of the top of the box waited for a new photo.

Tori opened the box to find the inside decorated as beautifully as the outside. Lying on the bottom of the box was a picture of Liz and Tori in front of one of the big roller coasters at Cedar Point in Ohio. It was taken in junior high when the church youth group went down for a weekend. Liz had decorated the picture to make it look like a Polaroid. On the bottom, she’d written “Best day ever — until now.”

Tori teared up. She couldn’t read it aloud. “Tissues, please!” she barely got out.

Sam ran for tissues while Hayley leaned over Tori’s shoulder and described the gift to the crowd. “Aww, that’s so sweet, Liz.”

Several people joined in with “Aww.”

Tori held the picture to her heart and smiled at her friend. “I’m framing this,” she told her.

Liz picked up her napkin and dabbed at her eyes. She waved her hand at the bag. “Keep going. There’s one more.”

Tori reached inside and drew out another tissue-wrapped bundle with one more note. “‘Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!’” Tori rolled her eyes and grinned. So much for trying to convince Liz there was no baby coming soon. She unrolled a piece of cloth to find a cute baby rattle. Unfolding the cloth, she found a hand painted baby bib. Amid the colorful pictures it read, “I love Aunt Liz.”

Tori laughed and held it up for people to see. “Thank you, but don’t be offended if I don’t use it for a couple of years,” she said to Liz.

Her friend shrugged. “The best laid plans…”

Sam took Liz’s gifts and carefully fit everything back in the bag. Then Lexie handed her more presents. Tori remembered what her mom said and made sure everyone could tell how much she loved everything.

There were handmade Christmas ornaments with their names and wedding date, a set of four hand-tatted lace doilies shaped like snowflakes, a satin bathrobe that was definitely not for staying warm, and so much more.

Or less, depending on how you looked at it. Hayley gave her a barely-there teddy from Victoria’s Secret. “Really, Hayley,” Tori said loudly so everyone could hear. “You couldn’t give me something like this in private?” Then she leaned over and hugged her. “It’s beautiful, thank you.”

“Just don’t tell me anything more than ‘he liked it,’ okay?” Hayley laughed.

After Tori opened the last gift, Sam presented her with her bridal shower ribbon bouquet. Tori didn’t know how she’d done it, but Sam had twisted some of the ribbons into flowers, braided others to make an edging, and left trailing tendrils to hang from Tori’s hands when she held the bouquet. She’d also braided the silver and white ribbons together to create a headpiece that looked like something out of a Disney movie.

“Sam,” Tori breathed as Sam arranged the ribbons on her hair. “This is beautiful.” She hugged her little sister tight. Since they hadn’t lived in the same house for several years, Tori hadn’t realized how much she didn’t know about Sam, like how artistic she was. “Wow.”

All the ladies ooh’d and ahh’d and suddenly everyone had a phone or a camera in hand, taking pictures. Tori smiled and grinned and hugged and laughed and smiled some more. By the time the last of the guests had left, her cheeks ached. But her heart was overflowing.

“Lex, Hayley, Sam, that was wonderful. Really beautiful.” She hugged them each in turn. “Thank you so much. That was the loveliest shower I could have imagined.”

She turned to Joe’s mom. “Hannah, thank you so much for this. I hope your family thinks I’m…” She fluttered her hand, trying to think of a word better than “okay.”

Hannah hugged her tight. “They think you’re wonderful,” she said. “You and your whole family.”

Tori smiled and felt her usual quieter self return. She ducked her head to hide the blush she feared was blooming. “Oh…well, good. Um, do you need help cleaning up?”

“You girls go on, I’ve got it covered.” Hannah pointed behind Tori to four women coming down the stairs. “The troops have arrived.” At Tori’s questioning glance, she clarified, “My Bible study offered to do the cleanup today.”

The ladies waved and called out greetings to each other. Tori recognized one woman, but didn’t know her name. These strangers had come to help make her day perfect. Wow.

Tori turned to her mother. “Mom,” she started to speak as she hugged her, but her throat closed up. Dixie held her close, rocking her slightly in her arms. Neither of them said anything, just sniffled and held on.

Eventually Dixie pulled back. She placed her hands gently on the sides of Tori’s face. “I love you.”

Neither one of them mentioned any of their struggles to get along over the years, the fights, the misunderstandings, the times Danny had to step in and negotiate peace. They just stoo
d
togethe
r
for a moment.

“I love you.” Tori poured her heart into the words, willing her mom to believe she meant it, no matter what.

“It’s been a beautiful day,” Dixie said. “Everything a young bride could want. You could treasure up these moments,” her words began to trip over each other as she hurried to get them out, “and have a lovely June wedding. June is a beautiful—”

“Mom,” Tori interrupted. She tried to stay calm. “A Christmas wedding is beautiful, too.”

“Spring then,” Dixie pressed. “I’m not asking you not to get married. Just let us get to know him better, mak
e
sur
e
this will…”

Tori knew her mom was going to say
,
make sure this will wor
k
. She gave her credit for not finishing the sentence, at least. Danny had said more than once that it wasn’t that they didn’t trust Tori’s ability to make sound decisions, but that a few weeks wasn’t long enough to know if you could make a fifty-year life together.

Tori couldn’t explain how, but sh
e
di
d
know. “Mom, I appreciate your concern for me, but I’m marrying Joe on Wednesday.” She was trying to decide if she should say more, press her case, but they’d been over this a dozen times.

Dixie took a deep breath and stepped back a step. “Okay,” she said, wiping a finger below each eye, “go get dressed. Fix your makeup. Have fun an
d
be saf
e
. And keep Sammie safe,” she added.

“I will, Mom. Don’t spoil Ben too much.” Tori wiped her eyes and turned to grab her bag and head for the ladies’ room with the other girls. For all that her mom had been trying to get her to reconsider her rush to the altar, except for the last two minutes, today she was the epitome of support. Tori closed her eyes for a moment and willed herself to commit this day to memory. Hard to say how long this truce would last.