A Time to Move On (10 page)

“Enough talk,” Mack said into a
mic. His big booming voice was so sexy. “I came here to rock.”

He scanned the crowd, obviously
enjoying the love he was receiving from the surprised fans. As he glanced
around, his eyes lowered to the front row and he spotted Laura. His eyes opened
wide for a quick second, as if he were questioning whether she was actually
there.

Laura winced in pain as she got one
hand off the gate to wave to him. He looked shocked as he turned toward the
drum set at the back of the stage.

“Now I think we’re ready,” Ryan
said. “Are you?”

The crowd hadn't stopped cheering. Mack
hit a four count with his drumsticks and the show began.

Laura heard the music, her body
swayed to the beat, but her focus was all on him. She had watched the videos on
online, but seeing the sweat on his face and body in person as his arms flew in
all directions was sexy and exciting.

After three more songs, the band
took a quick two minute break to get the crowd involved and pumped up for the
tour. While Ryan was talking, a security guard came along the gate and stopped
in front of Laura. He touched Laura’s hand and nodded.

Laura opened her hands, thinking
she was in trouble for holding onto the gate. The security guard pointed to the
side of the stage and then motioned for Laura to climb over the gate.

“Are you serious?” she yelled.

“Come on,” the man said.

Laura grabbed Steph. They both made
their way over the gate and Steph squeezed Laura’s hand.

“What are we doing right now?”
Steph yelled. “I don’t do this kind of stuff.”

“We’re having fun I think,” Laura
said.

They followed the security guard
along the front of the stage and then stopped at the side of the stage. There
were soundboards, lights, instruments, and guys rushing around to make the show
happen. Mack looked right at Laura and Steph and pointed a drumstick at them.

“Holy shit,” Steph said. “He did
this for you…”

“There’s something I didn’t tell
you,” Laura yelled.

“What?”

“I met up with Mack again. It was
cool..."

Steph looked at Laura. “Cool? He’s
a rockstar! Don't you realize that people
pay
to meet him?”

Laura smiled and Steph growled with
jealousy. They watched the rest of Gone By Autumn's show from the side of the
stage. Steph still hadn't let go of Laura's hand. Laura watched Mack play, but
she noticed that Mack would take a drink from a red cup in between the songs. Then
he would rub his face and stare ahead with a distant look in his eyes.

On stage he poured his heart out.
Yet there was something mysterious about Mack, and Laura wanted to find out
what it was. If not to help him, it would help her realize that she wasn't the
only person in the world suffering with loss of some kind.

When the show ended, Laura squeezed
Steph’s hand. “What do we do now?”

“Stand here?”

The band came off the stage,
walking within inches of Laura and Steph. Mack was last to come down from the
stage. Someone handed Mack a towel, so he wiped his face and hair. He stopped
right in front of Laura and she was taken back by his rockstar aura.

“Hey there,” he said. “Didn’t think
I’d see you here.”

Laura just stared, unsure what to
say. Steph squeezed Laura’s hand and snapped her out of her trance. “Mack, this
is my sister, Steph. She’s your biggest fan."

“Then I guess I have my eyes on the
wrong person,” Mack said, smiling at Steph.

“She’s married... with kids,” Laura
said. “Lots of baggage there.”

“Laura!” Steph yelled.

Mack laughed. “Nice to meet you,
Steph.”

Steph offered a shaky hand to Mack.
Laura was fascinated by how nervous her sister was to meet Mack because
something they had written had touched her in one way or another. It proved how
much Fallen Tuesday's music meant to their fans. Maybe Laura should really pay
attention to their music, maybe it had the answers she was looking for.

“You sticking around for a little
while?” Mack asked.

“I don’t know,” Laura said. “She’s
my ride.”

“Well, I was going to see if you
wanted to come back and meet the band.”

“Meet the band?” Steph asked.

“Yeah,” Mack said. “They’re all
backstage. We’re just hanging out. Want to come back and meet them?”

Laura was amused by the way Steph
stuttered on her words as she tried to say yes.

“We’d love to,” Laura said.

Mack waved a hand, and Laura and
Steph followed him backstage, which was actually just a large room with a bunch
of doors. Suddenly they were surrounded by musicians. Mack called the band over
and they all said hello to Laura and Steph. Steph got the autographs she always
wanted, and Laura got to watch Mack. When he was talking about music and their
upcoming tour, his face lit up. He lived for nights like this it seemed.

Their sister night out only lasted
another hour before Steph looked at her phone and then started to bug Laura
about leaving. Both bands had been asked to sit down for a meeting with their
managers. So Laura and Steph were just hanging out alone on the other side of
the room.

“I can’t believe this night,” Steph
squealed quietly. “I’m backstage with Fallen Tuesday!”

Laura smiled. It made her happy to
see Steph enjoying something outside of her house.

"As much as I don't want this
amazing time to end... I need sleep or tomorrow is going to suck." Steph
pouted.

“Okay. Head outside. I’ll be right
out,” Laura said. “I want to say goodbye.”

Steph nodded as she looked at Mack
and then back to Laura. With a quick
life is too short
look, Steph left
through a side door.

Laura waited until Mack glanced her
way, which he had been doing every few seconds since he sat down at the table,
and she waved to him. He quickly excused himself from the meeting. He strutted
over and slid his hands down her arms to hold her wrists.

It sent chills through her body. “I
have to get going,” Laura said, regretfully.

“Really? I was hoping we could hang
out tonight.”

Laura looked down to hide her
blushing cheeks. “Thank you so much for tonight for my sister. She’s the typical
housewife and this was her rare night out. It’s pretty awesome that she was
able to meet you guys.”

“What about you?” Mack asked. “Are
you the typical housewife?”

Laura swallowed hard. She shook her
arms away from Mack and backed up. “What you see right here is what you get,
Mack.”

“And I don't want what I see to
leave.”

“You look busy.”

“That’s business talk,” Mack said.
“I conduct my business on stage.” He looked down at Laura. “And in private.”

Laura's knees felt strange. She
scanned the room left to right and reminded herself that Steph was outside.
Plus, she could smell the booze on Mack’s breath. This was probably not the
time to try and talk to him about anything. Mack’s body language seemed to have
one thing in mind. And it made Laura’s body ache. Would it be so wrong to give
in to the once in a lifetime experience?

“I have to go,” Laura said.

“So that’s what you do?” Mack
asked. “You just keep running from life?"

“You don’t know me, Mack. Don’t
try…”

“Let me know you,” Mack said. He
turned his head for a second. “I don’t know why, Laura, but I want to know
you.”

“You’re busy and about to get
busier. You don’t need any more distractions.”

“You don’t know what I need,” Mack
said.

Laura backed up, but Mack stepped
toward her. When Laura hit a wall, Mack kept coming. With just a couple inches
between them, Laura put her hands out and touched Mack’s muscular body. Her
fingers curled a little and felt his stomach through his shirt.

Holy shit…

“You had your reasons for being on
the side of that road,” Mack said. “And so did I.”

“What were your reasons, Mack?”
Laura asked.

“That doesn't matter right now.
What matters is since that moment I haven’t been able to get you out of my damn
head. I just want to spend a night with you, Laura.”

“Desperate rockstar?”

“No. Not desperate, sweetheart. Demanding.
Because I know you want it too.”

“What makes you think that?” Laura
asked.

“Your fingers are wrapped around my
shirt.”

Laura looked down, and sure enough,
her fingers were pulling at Mack’s shirt.

When her eyes glanced back up, Mack’s
lips were waiting for hers. The kiss was passionate and satisfying. Mack’s lips
against hers, his tongue slipping into her mouth, teasing her tongue. Laura
felt her knees start to give way so she pushed against the wall for support. When
she did, her body thrust at Mack, erasing those pesky few inches separating
them. Laura pulled at Mack’s shirt again. He couldn’t possibly get any closer
unless of course they were naked.

Naked.

Laura’s face and body burned. She
kissed back at him, not wanting the kiss to end. For once, nothing went through
Laura’s head except the fact that she was kissing Mack.

When Mack pulled back and licked
his lips, he looked angry. Laura tried to move forward, but Mack put his hands
to her hips and held her against the wall.

“No,” he said. “Just, no. If I keep
kissing you, it’s going to lead somewhere else.”

“That’s a bad thing?”

Mack gritted his teeth. His face
was filled with pent up passion and frustration. Laura was willing to accept
both if it meant he didn't stop kissing her. Touching her. Wanting her.

“I have something for you,” Mack
said. “Stay right here.”

Mack walked away and Laura collapsed
against the wall. She was shaking head to toe. The room felt like it was
spinning, but it was just the whirlwind of the kiss going through her mind. She
couldn’t remember ever being kissed like that.
Ever.

When Mack returned he had a hand
behind his back. He got very close to Laura and looked down at her.

“Can I call you?” Mack asked.

“You don’t have my number.”

“That’s my way of asking, Laura.”

“Oh. Got it. Sure. You can call
me," she stuttered. Then her wit returned and she gave her best sarcastic
serious face. "Do famous people actually call others or do you have a
manager that does that for you?"

"Funny." Mack scrunched
his face, mocking her humor. He took his hand from behind his back. “You forgot
these today.” He handed Laura the bag of plain chips and then leaned down and
kissed the top of her head. “I can’t get you out of my head, even when I drink.
That’s new for me, Laura. I need to see you again soon.”

Mack turned and walked away.

Laura looked at the bag of chips
and saw that Mack had written his phone number on it. It was so dumb and so
cheesy… yet it was the most romantic gesture anyone had ever made.

(10)

Mack felt uncomfortable in the back
of the limo. He wished he were on his motorcycle. The twists and turns of the road
and the noise of the motorcycle always distracted his thoughts from filling his
mind.

It had been a few days since he saw
Laura at the Gone By Autumn show. They had only sent a few innocent texts. Each
time Mack got the notion to call her or ask her out, but each time, memories of
Kelly overwhelmed him. If he let go and moved on…

“You look dazed, man,” Jake said.
“What’s going on?”

“Thinking,” Mack said. “Hey, when
are we done with the radio stuff?”

“Soon,” Luke said. “Couple more and
then the album drops.”

“Then we tour,” Trent said.

“Finally,” Mack said. “That show
with Gone By Autumn was just a glimpse of what to expect from them. They’re a
good band. And man can they get a crowd going. I’m worried they’re going to
tire the fans out before we hit the stage.”

Gray laughed. “We can’t let that
happen.”

“Yeah, that show was great,” Luke
said. “But more importantly, was I the only one who saw you backstage with a
couple women, Mack?”

“I totally saw it,” Trent said.

“Cut it,” Mack said. “First off,
the one was married. With kids. She is a fan. The other… a friend.”

“A friend?” Jake asked. “Do you
kiss all your friends like that?”

Mack looked at Jake. “You want to
go down that road? After what you did with Chloe?”

“Cheap shot,” Jake murmured. “But
fine, I deserved that.”

“Christ, guys,” Mack said. “What do
you want me to say?”

“I don’t know,” Luke said. “I think
we are all on edge because of what can happen when bands get successful. Maybe
we’re keeping tabs on each other.”

“You’re worried about me,” Mack
said. “Because I went for two rides this year. Because I freaked out over the
date next year. Because I kissed a woman after a show. Can I just do my own
thing for now? Figure shit out?”

“Sure,” Trent said. “Sure. It’s
just… you looked happy the other night. Even after drinking.”

“What’s wrong with drinking?” Mack
asked.

He felt cornered in the limo.
Another reason he wished he had his motorcycle. He would be alone with his own
damn thoughts and nothing more.

“Mack, you usually drink to numb
your mind,” Luke said. “But the other night you were happy. Smiling. Laughing.
Joking around. And it's because of that woman.”

“Yeah, maybe so,” Mack said. “Can
we drop the subject now?”

They all looked at each other and
nodded.

They arrived at the radio station a
couple minutes later. They were two hours east of home and after this one, they
had to travel another two hours east. Such was the life of promoting an album
release. It would have made more sense to Mack to use the shiny new tour bus
for this trip, and then he would have been able to escape the relationship
intervention he just received.

The radio station interview was
quick and didn't stray off topic of the album release. Fallen Tuesday played a
quick three song acoustic set and then that was it. They took another fifteen
minutes to sign autographs, take pictures, and sign a picture that would be
framed and hung in the hallway. They grabbed a quick bite for lunch and then
they were back in the limo and back on the road.

The next two hours were the longest
of the day. Everyone was too quiet for Mack’s liking. He knew they were all
thinking about him. He managed to sit in silence for a little over an hour
before he let out a deep breath.

“I went back to the spot twice this
year, okay? I never did that before, but this year I did. Because I felt like I
needed to. There's something inside me that is desperate to make peace with
what I lost.”

The other guys looked around for a
few seconds.

Gray took the lead. “That’s a good
thing, Mack. It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, but I went back for the
wrong reasons.”

“Like what?” Jake asked.

“I went back hoping to find that
woman again, so I could get mad at her for fucking up my plans that day. Because
she had run out of gas and just sat on the side of the road, I didn’t get my
moment with Kelly, like I always do. But when I went back to Kelly's spot, I
saw the ground. I saw dirt. And I felt… nothing.” Mack blinked and growled in
the back of his throat. “I felt like I was letting Kelly down. Then that woman showed
up again, and my anger toward her vanished. We talked and hung out, and then
she showed up at the Gone by Autumn show. It’s like she’s always there. At the
best and worst times. I don't know why yet, but I can sense something. Like she
knows… like she knows how I feel.”

No one said a word right away. The
look that spread across all their faces was one that said they hadn't expected
Mack to open up like that.

Jake rubbed his chin. “Wow. That’s
a little different than just wanting to sleep with her."

“She’s not a groupie, man,” Mack
said. “Trust me. That train came and went a long time ago.”

“So what is it then?” Luke asked.

“I don’t know,” Mack said. “It’s
like I’m torn between the past and the present. Not a good feeling.”

“But it’s a step in the right
direction,” Trent said. “Again, you know what we’re going to tell you… do what
you have to do. Whatever it takes.”

“We’re just breaking your balls a
little,” Luke said. “It was good to see you with a woman and look happy.”

Mack gritted his teeth.

Happy.

Mack couldn’t remember the last
time that word described him. Other than being on stage or in the studio, the
word happy really didn’t have much meaning.

“She’s like locked in my mind,”
Mack said. “I can't stop wondering why she was just sitting there."

“She probably can't stop thinking
about what she wants to do with the big time rockstar,” Gray smirked.

Mack shook his head and shrugged
his shoulders. He knew they were just messing around with him and trying to
lighten the mood, but they just didn't understand the depth of his emotions.
Probably because Mack didn't even understand his own emotions.

The second radio station interview
was similar to the first. The only difference was that they played three
different songs. After that was done, it was repeat mode. Take pictures. Shake
hands. Laugh. They ordered a couple pizzas to be delivered to the limo. It gave
the teenage delivery driver quite a shock when he realized he was delivering
food to Fallen Tuesday.

Knowing he had a four hour ride
home in the limo, Mack went for the mini-fridge. It was stocked with booze,
beer, and water. He opted for whiskey.

“Let's have a drink,” Mack said.
“To today, tomorrow, and whatever the hell is waiting out there. The shows, fans,
and the fact that we’re going to be international rockstars soon.”

“I'll drink to that,” Jake said.

They all drank a sip of whiskey and
when the bottle returned to Mack, he kept it for himself. It took about thirty
minutes before the whiskey started to settle in. It warmed him over, but still
didn’t erase Laura from his mind.

There were three guitars in the
back of the limo and when Luke grabbed one, Mack turned his head.

Don’t do it… don’t do it…

“You have to do it, Mack,” Luke
said. “That song…”

“No,” Mack said. “Don’t do it.”

“Mack,” Trent said. “If you have
music, you should play it. We’re going to be touring and we’re expected to
release new music. If you have some written already, we are ahead of the game.”

“I don’t like it,” Mack said. “I’m
not a songwriter.”

“Yes you are,” Luke said. “Just
jam. We’re just hanging.”

Mack gritted his teeth. He took a
big gulp of whiskey and gave the bottle to Jake. He reluctantly picked up a
guitar and strummed a couple chords. Mack couldn’t remember ever being more
nervous than he was right then.

“You want to know the truth?”

“Yeah,” Luke said.

“When I quit drumming after Kelly
died, I picked up a guitar instead. I tried to hate music. I tried to blame it
for her death. But when I began strumming chords here and there, my feelings
poured out onto paper.”

“That sounds like song writing to
me,” Luke said.

“This is personal shit, man.”

“Good,” Trent said. “We’re your
brothers. We were there for you then, and we are here for you now. Don't hold
anything back with us.”

Mack took a deep breath as he
purposely strummed through what should have been the first verse and then came
in a little later when he felt comfortable. He cleared his throat and tried to
stay with the song. He played and sang through the first verse and chorus. All
eyes were on him as he sang the second verse. Mac stopped and shook his head.

“That’s good enough,” he said.

“That’s damn amazing,” Luke said.
“Holy hell, man.”

“Wow,” Gray whispered. “Mack…”

“Don’t give me that shit,” Mack
said.

“Fine, we won’t,” Luke said.

He nodded and Jake and Gray grabbed
the other two guitars. They started to play Mack’s song as though they’d been
playing it for years. Then Luke started to sing the words. Mack was taken back.
Hearing his own song being played and sung sent his emotions into a tailspin. He
had two choices. One, he could break the guitar in his hands and throw it out
the window. Or two, he could join in and let the music try to heal him, like
music is meant to do.

Mack strummed the chords as he
joined in. He sang on the last chorus of the song and when it was over, his
eyes were filled with tears, but he was smiling. He reached for the bottle of
whiskey again and took a large sip. He hated feeling vulnerable.

“Mack, that’s good stuff,” Trent
said. “I wouldn't lie to you.”

“How many songs do you have?” Luke
asked.

“Two dozen or more.”

“Christ,” Jake said. “That’s a
double album.”

“No,” Mack said. “Those are my
songs. I’m not saying I won’t give up a few songs to the band, but there’s some
really personal stuff I’ve written. And honestly, some of it was crap. But it’s
what I had to do to get through that time. To get back behind the kit.”

“I’m glad you did,” Luke said.

Mack didn’t say another word for the
rest of the ride back home. He drowned himself in the bottle until it was
mostly gone. By the time the limo dropped him off at his house, he was good and
drunk.

Mack wanted to crash to the couch
and be done with the night. His mind was plagued with images of Laura, and as
much as he didn't mind picturing her beautiful figure, he was worried that his
memories of Kelly were being forgotten. If he had feelings for Laura, would he
eventually forget about Kelly forever?

*

Luke got out of the limo at the last
second. He turned and looked at the remaining three members of Fallen Tuesday.

“I have to talk to him,” he told
them.

“You want us there?” Jake asked.

“No,” Luke said. “The way he’s
feeling… and that song…”

“Go,” Gray said. “Hurry.”

Luke turned and closed the door. He
made a fist and bumped the roof of the limo. The vehicle started to move away
as Mack opened the front door to his house. Luke ran up to the house and let
out a whistle.

When Mack looked back, he looked to
the road and his lip curled.

“Sorry,” Luke said. “Lost my ride.
Can I come in?”

“What the hell are you doing right
now?” Mack asked.

“Trying to talk to the greatest
drummer I’ve ever known.”

“We just spent how many hours in a
limo together? I’m done with the day.”

Luke hurried up to the house and
went inside behind Mack. “Mack, I’m not done just yet. We have to talk about
things.”

Mack was in the kitchen. He opened
the fridge and grabbed a beer. He grabbed a second and held it out for Luke.
Luke took it even though he had no intention of drinking much. This was part
business and part trying to be a good friend and brother to Mack.

“I don’t want to hold back with
you,” Luke said.

“Then don’t.”

“I don’t want you to get pissed off
at me or the rest of the band.”

“Then hold back,” Mack said.

He started to walk and Luke blocked
the way. Mack froze for a second and then looked at Luke. He shook his head.

“I can knock you over,” Mack said.

“Try it then.”

“Luke, what do you want?”

“More of that music. You have other
songs like that one from the limo?”

“Christ, that’s what this is
about?”

“Yes.”

“I told you already, I wrote a
bunch of songs. Most of them are complete garbage. Just me trying to figure out
how to change chords.”

“What about the lyrics?”

“What about? They’re about
her
.
To keep
her
memory alive.”

“That’s where some of the best stuff
comes from,” Luke said, touching his chest. “Right from the heart. From the
pain. Man, you grew up on your own. From the day I met you, you were on your
own. Hell, I thought you were the coolest kid ever. Walking around with dirty
clothes and a bag on your back. Never knowing or caring what would happen next
in life. You inspired all of us.”

“Good to know,” Mack said.

“But I never really asked what it
felt like to live that way.”

Mack drank his beer. He retreated to
the kitchen table and sat down. “You want to know what it was like? To be there
in the dark every night and wonder what my parents were doing. Wondering what I
could have done so wrong to have them not want to be near me. To wonder if the
stories I heard were true… that they had problems. They were lost. They were in
rehab. Or… that they were dead. There was one time when all that didn’t
matter…”

Luke saw the pain in Mack’s eyes.
Mack pounded the rest of his beer. Not wasting a second, Luke stepped forward
and handed Mack his beer. Mack took it and nodded.