A Table for Two (15 page)

"I wish they were. You can't know how much." Ridley didn't know what else to do except to call it a night and escape to her room. She felt raw, on the verge of tears and if she couldn't be with Dana, she needed to be alone. "Good night Dana. I'll see you in the morning." Ridley turned and headed for the stairs.

"Good night. I hope you sleep well," Dana said behind her.

"I hope you do, too."

Once alone in her room, Ridley sat on the edge of the bed and let the reality of Dana's words sink in.

Those words had hurt more than she would have imagined possible and she feared she'd done something irreparable. Why couldn't she have kept her feelings to herself? Why couldn't she have waited until she knew more about Dana? Usually, she didn't jump into things and she wondered what consequences she'd have to pay for her impulsive actions on the beach. Would Dana now try to avoid her? Had she destroyed any chance of a relationship with her? Questions like these tortured her as she washed her face, brushed her teeth and crawled into bed.

Kissing Dana had made her so aroused she knew she'd never get to sleep. Her taut nipples strained against the cotton fabric of her tank top and begged to be touched, so she reached under her shirt and touched them herself. They stiffened under her hands.

Never had she wanted anyone as much as she wanted Dana and never had she been this wet or this aroused. She needed relief even if it had to come by her own hand. She slid her hands over the warm smooth skin of her abdomen and under the elastic of her panties. Her moans filled the quiet room and the experienced strokes that had brought her relief so many times before soon tipped her over the edge. Sadly, the swift orgasm that coursed through her did little to diminish the fire that Dana had ignited. Hot tears stung her cheeks and out of pure exhaustion, she turned onto her side, hugged her pillow, and fell into a restless sleep.

THE NEXT MORNING, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee smuggled its way into Ridley's senses with her first conscious breath of air. It had been a tough night, one of the toughest she'd ever had since the nights immediately following her father's death. All night, she'd tossed and turned in a state of semiconsciousness and now she would seriously consider doing just about anything for a cup of hot coffee.

Before heading downstairs, she showered and pulled on her favorite pair of worn-out jeans and an equally worn-out Temple University sweatshirt. As soon as she neared the kitchen, she heard Laurie and Karen talking and a horrible thought struck her. What if Dana had gotten up early and left because of what had happened last night? On the other side of the kitchen door, she whispered a soft prayer that she hadn't.

Laurie greeted Ridley when she entered the kitchen. "Hey, we thought you'd never get up. Need some coffee?" She got up and went to the coffee maker.

"Do I ever. How's everyone this morning?" Relief flooded Ridley when she saw Dana standing at the counter stirring something in a bowl. Her eyes stayed on Dana as she took the chair next to Karen.

Laurie brought Ridley a mug of coffee and hugged her from behind. "Here you go."

Ridley tilted her head up and planted a kiss on Laurie's cheek. "Thanks." She smiled at Laurie before she downed a hefty gulp. "What's that wonderful smell?"

"Dana's whipping up something delicious for us," Laurie said, taking the chair on the other side of Karen. "She's been at it since she got up."

Dana turned and faced them. Her eyes were kind and her smile warm. She showed no signs of being upset. "I hope you're hungry because I made one of my favorite breakfasts."

"I'm starving. What are we having?" Ridley took in a calming breath for the first time since she'd dragged her pitiful bones out of bed. Everything seemed friendly and although that came as a huge relief, she had to wonder how she would live with having Dana's friendship and nothing more? As hard as it was to imagine, she tried to convince herself that she could be friends and she could also get over this attraction. It didn't have to get the best of her.

"I'm making baked cinnamon apple French toast and we're having fruit salads with a lemon yogurt dressing. Does that sound good?"

"That sounds better than good. When do we eat?" Ridley asked.

"I hope it's soon, Dana. I'm famished," Laurie said.

"You'll only have to wait about ten more minutes." Dana placed a bowl in the center of the table. "Here's the dressing for the fruit salad. Why don't we start on them since you're all so hungry and then we'll have the French toast when it's done?" Dana sat at the table and spooned some dressing on her salad.

"Laurie, you're always hungry," Karen teased.

"I am when it comes to you, my honey pie." Laurie winked at Karen, leaned in, and smacked a loud kiss on her cheek.

"Honey pie?" Ridley laughed. "I've never heard you call her that before. And why are you two so hungry this morning? Is it from all that reading in bed last night?"

"It was a very stimulating book if you must know." Karen's devilish grin went well with her bright red cheeks. "Those lesbian detectives make me hot."

"Lesbian lawyers in power suits make me hot," Laurie said.

"Hey, stop it. That kind of talk is making me hot and soon I'll have to stand in front of that stove again," Dana said. She smiled as she ate a piece of fruit.

"I guess you got rid of that headache, huh Laurie?" Ridley said.

"Yes, I did. I took some pills and it went away as soon as I got in bed with Karen." Laurie put her arm around Karen and kissed her again.

"Okay, that's enough." Karen kissed Laurie and pushed her away, playfully. "Leave me alone and let me eat my fruit in peace."

"You two are so sweet." Ridley spoke to Karen and Laurie, but she watched Dana as she got up and went to the stove.

"Don't give up, Ridley. Some lucky girl is out there waiting for you to come along," Laurie reassured her. "You just haven't met her yet, that's all."

"I hope you're right," Ridley said, relieved to see that Dana had her mind on taking the French toast out of the oven and didn't seem to be paying attention to what Laurie had said. In order to get Laurie off the topic of her pitiable love life, Ridley announced, "It looks like the French toast is ready, girls."

Dana placed the baking dish full of bubbling hot French toast on a trivet in the center of the table and sprinkled the top with powdered sugar. While everyone watched, she lifted a saucepan of hot maple syrup and melted butter from the stove and poured its contents into a small pitcher which she then placed on the table. Before she sat down, she filled everyone's coffee cups and said, "What are you waiting for? Dig in."

AFTER BREAKFAST, THEY all drove to the North end of the island to see the Barnegat lighthouse and take a walk by the ocean. Despite the moderate temperature and the cloudless sunny day, a stiff breeze made it feel a lot chillier by the water. Still, a few hardy souls ventured out onto the long jetty of massive slippery rocks that extended out from the southernmost tip of the island. Ridley suggested they take a safer route and stay on the cement pedestrian walkway that ran parallel to the shoreline.

Ridley and Dana walked together, a short distance behind Laurie and Karen. "I think this is one of my favorite places," Ridley said. "When I was young, I used to sit down here for hours watching the boats travel back and forth between Barnegat Bay and the Atlantic. I'd wave at the people on the boats and they would always wave back at me. I loved to watch the fishermen cast their lines from these massive rocks and I got an endless thrill every time one of them pulled a flapping fish out of the water."

"Did you ever go fishing?"

"My grandfather and father used to and sometimes they'd take me with them, but I hardly ever caught anything. I liked to watch, but I didn't like to do it that much."

Dana stopped walking and leaned on the metal railing that separated the walkway from the ocean. She stared out at the waves as they crashed relentlessly against the huge jagged rocks below. "It's been so long since I've seen the ocean."

Ridley stood beside her and let Karen and Laurie continue on ahead of them. She wanted to talk to Dana, alone. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

Dana turned. "That depends on what you want to ask me."

"Are we, I mean are you..." Ridley shook her head as if to snap her thoughts into place. "I mean, are things okay between us after what happened last night?" The stiff wind whipped Dana's hair around her face and Ridley longed to reach out and touch it.

"We're fine as far as I'm concerned."

"I hope so. I got carried away. Nothing like that will happen again, I promise."

Dana smiled and touched Ridley's arm. "I told you that you didn't do anything wrong. You kissed me, that was all. I wanted you to and it happened to be very nice. It's just that..."

"I know. You told me you don't want to complicate your life. I was just worried that I might have ruined the friendship you and I have or the friendship the four of us have. I wouldn't want to do that because it means a great deal to me. I wouldn't want to mess it up."

"Nothing is messed up or ruined. I swear to God."

"You mean it?"

"I mean it." Dana tugged at Ridley's sleeve and started walking. "Come on, stop thinking about it. Let's catch up with the girls and have a nice afternoon."

"Okay." Ridley started walking. She should have been relieved, but she wasn't.

After a long walk, they spent an hour or so browsing in a nearby gift shop packed with shells and trinkets and every other shore themed souvenir under the sun. They all bought something to remember the weekend by and with their purchases in hand, they proceeded into the homey restaurant attached to the gift shop to have lunch.

Around four in the afternoon, they returned to the house and got ready to head back to the city. Everyone agreed they wanted to have time when they got home to unwind and prepare for the work week ahead. Laurie and Karen were the first to leave and after they said their goodbyes and pulled out of the driveway, Ridley stood in the driveway with Dana. "Will you come down here again some time?" Despite Dana's reassurances, Ridley still worried that Dana would stay away from her and be lost to her for good.

Dana nodded. "Of course I will. I had a good time and I wanted to spend more time with Karen and Laurie." She got into her car, fastened her seatbelt and rolled the window down. "And I enjoyed spending time with you," she added as an afterthought. "Thanks for everything and I'll see you around sometime, okay?"

Ridley leaned down near the open window. "I hope so. Keep in touch, will you?"

"I will." Dana smiled. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye." A heavy desolation dropped over Ridley like a dense cloud. She didn't want to say goodbye to Dana in the worst way and she wondered if Dana had just said goodbye to her forever. Once Dana had the chance to think, she'd change her mind about being around Ridley. That's the way things like this usually turned out.

Dana waved as she backed out of the driveway and as she turned into the street, she waved again. Ridley stayed in the driveway and kept Dana in sight as long as she could. "Why did I have to go and kiss her?" she murmured to the driveway as she kicked a stone with the toe of her shoe. Just the memory of that kiss made her aroused all over again. How many times would she feel that kiss and how long would she be tortured by a desire for someone she couldn't have? "Now that I have kissed her, how am I going to stand knowing I'll never kiss her again?"

AFTER SCHOOL LET out the following Friday, Ridley rushed through the school yard to get away from Laurie. She didn't need to turn around to know that Laurie was weaving her way through the crowd of students to catch up to her. Ridley had managed to dodge her friend every day since they'd come back from the shore, but on the way up the stairs from the gym, she had spotted Laurie outside the main office talking to another teacher. Laurie waved and gestured to her, but Ridley averted her eyes, skirted around a group of students and pretended not to see her. Without a backward glance, she made her getaway out the front door.

Dana's rejection was still an open wound and telling Laurie about it was an inevitability she wasn't prepared to tackle quite yet. Besides, Dana didn't actually reject her. She just didn't want her and that was even harder to accept. As soon as she reached the rear bumper of her car, she felt the tug on her sleeve at the same time she felt Laurie's presence behind her.

"Ridley, would you please hold still?" Laurie asked. "We need to talk."

Ridley obeyed and stood in place. "I'm holding still, so talk."

"What's going on? Are you mad at me or something? You've been avoiding me all week and it won't do you any good to deny it because I know you extremely well and I know when something's bothering you."

"I'm not mad at you and I haven't been avoiding you. Well, yes I have, but it's just because I've got a lot on my mind, that's all." Ridley moved toward the driver's door. .

Laurie stayed right behind her. "Wait a minute. I'm not done with you. Is that any reason to give me the brush-off at lunch and go hide in your office pretending you had things to do?"

"Maybe I did have things to do."

"That never stopped you from letting me sit and talk while you worked."

That statement rang true and it forced Ridley to turn around and make eye contact with Laurie for the first time. "You're right and I'm sorry."

"Are you going to tell me what's up with you or what?"

"It's nothing important. Nothing I won't get over soon enough."

Laurie persisted. "That may be so, but in the meantime..." Laurie sounded exasperated as she took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm your best friend. That gives me the right to care when you have a problem and the right to nag you until you tell me about it."

"I know you care, but it's nothing."

Laurie showed her increasing frustration by shaking her head. "Why do you always have to be so damned self-sufficient? Karen has to work late, so come home and have dinner with me and we'll talk about it." Laurie put her arm around Ridley's waist and leaned in. "Come on, we'll order Chinese takeout. Steamed dumplings and fried rice? An order of Sesame chicken and an order of Szechwan shrimp? Mmm..."