A Sweetheart For The Single Dad (The Camdens Of Colorado Book 8) (19 page)

“To sit here and wonder how the hell to get through to you and make this work. Because I really want this to work, Lindie.”

“Come in,” she said, trying not to cry again, this time with relief and joy and hope.

She ended the call, set her phone down and continued looking through the shutters as he got out of his car.

Watching as he walked up from the curb, she just couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He had on jeans and a crew-neck white T-shirt with the long sleeves pushed above his elbows—nothing special and yet she was so glad to see him again that to her he’d never looked better.

He reached her front stoop and she hurried to the door to open it.

“Come in,” she repeated when he seemed to stall just outside, closing the door when he did step across the threshold.

Then she turned for a closer look at him and saw faint signs that this past week hadn’t been any easier for him than it had been for her. A slight paleness to his usually robust coloring, a slight deepening of the lines at the corners of his eyes, a slight hint of all-round fatigue as if he hadn’t been sleeping well.

“I hope to God you didn’t call me to talk about business,” he said as if he might lose control if she had.

Lindie shook her head. “I called to tell you I’m sorry.”

“I guess I need to know for what. Because if it’s just an ‘I’m sorry but I still don’t want anything to do with you,’ I don’t want to hear it.”

He was ragged, very near the end of his rope. His tone, his temper—she could hear the fraying restraint in every word that was laced with weariness, a shadow of anger lying just beneath the surface.

But since she couldn’t blame him, she accepted it as no more than he had a right to.

“It’s more like an ‘I’m sorry I’ve been such a dope and I want a lot to do with you.’”

His eyebrows went up but he didn’t say anything, waiting for an explanation as they stood there in her entryway.

But now that she’d admitted that much to him, the rest flooded out without even considering that they were still standing just inside the doorway. She told him all she’d thought about, what she’d realized, the conclusions she’d reached.

“If you still want to try to work it out,” she said quietly when she’d finished, “I do, too.”

“I’m not happy that you did what every other damn woman has done to me—keeping your fears to yourself instead of sharing them with me before they became a problem,” he said.

Lindie’s heart beat a little harder. “I know.”

“You blindsided me the same way they did and cut me off at the knees with it.”

“I know. But I told you, there wasn’t a time or a place or a reason for me to tell you before. It isn’t something I go into business meetings and announce, and you were only supposed to be business. I can promise you it’ll never happen again—I’m not really the suffering-in-silence type.”

“There’s nothing else you’re keeping quiet about?”

Lindie laughed a little. “No.”

“And now you’re okay with Sam?”

“I was never
not
okay with Sam. I just don’t want him or any other kids I might have with you to come up second place.”

“I’m not going to let that happen,” he said, sounding more like the man she knew him to be: reasonable, rational, no longer angry. “And everything you said about making sure he has a room of his own wherever we live, making sure he’s a part of the family we have—that’s all stuff I’d be fighting for if you hadn’t come up with it yourself. But I can’t stand here—here and now—and say that there will never be a scheduling conflict, that I won’t ever have to make a choice of whose Christmas program I go to and whose Christmas program I have to wait to see a recording of.”

“I know. I just think—now—that maybe it won’t be as much of a big deal to kids who aren’t looking at it through my perspective.”

“And you’ll be able to handle it, looking at it through your perspective?”

“I hope so. I’ll try.”

“And if it bothers you?”

“I’ll throw a fit and you’ll definitely know it,” she assured him with a smile.

He stepped close enough in front of her to clasp her shoulders in those big hands of his, peering down at her. “Good,” he said as if he meant it. “I don’t ever want you not to tell me what’s going on in your head.”

“Right now what’s going on in my head is a lot of wondering where we go from here,” she said, not wanting to ask if he really had been proposing to her last Sunday night but dying to know.

“I think we go on to your bedroom and—after a while—get some sleep that I don’t think either of us has had all week. Then we go on to me probably facing the legion of Camdens next Sunday so we can all prove to you that we can be in the same space as nothing but the people who care about you and the people you care about. You
do
care about me, don’t you?”

She nodded.

“And somewhere in there, I think we go on to my telling you that I love you, Lindie Camden. That I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you, and you go on to tell me—”

“I love you, too,” she said quietly.

He took a deep enough breath for it to expand his chest and then deflate it when he exhaled as if that was what he’d been waiting to hear.

Then he pulled her up against him, wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

“And somewhere in there we also talk about if you’re going to marry me,” he said.

“I am.”

“And what kind of ring you want, and what kind of wedding you want, and when and where and—”

But the warmth and strength of his muscular body was infusing her with such peace and comfort—and raising desires she’d been fighting all week—to the point that talking suddenly wasn’t what she wanted more of.

“I don’t want you to go,” she said, apropos of nothing but what she was feeling. “Can you just stay tonight and be with me from here on and we’ll just do the rest as it comes up?”

“I can,” he answered, tightening his arms around her. “You’re stuck with me from here on, like it or not.”

“I do like it,” she whispered.

He reared back then and when she tilted her face away from where it was resting against his pectorals he kissed her. A long, deep kiss that Lindie let herself drift away on until he ended it and looked into her gaze with those beautiful crystal-blue eyes.

“I really do love you,” he said, his voice raspy and full of emotion.

“I really do love you,” she countered.

“Don’t ever let me lose you again—not even for a week.”

“Till death do we part?”

“Not even then.”

“Okay,” she agreed happily as she rose up enough for another kiss.

Another kiss that only confirmed just how much she belonged with this man.

Business friend or foe, he was most certainly her one and only. And she was never going to let him go again.

So when that kiss ended she took his hand and led him to her bedroom.

Where they could have the start of what she knew would be many years together.

The start of a whole lifetime together.

Just the way she knew, in her heart, they were meant to.

* * * * *

From
New York Times
bestselling author
Jodi Thomas comes a sweeping new series
set in a remote west Texas town—where
family can be made by blood or by choice...

Keep reading for an excerpt from
RANSOM CANYON
by Jodi Thomas.

http://www.harlequin.com/harlequinexperience

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Ransom Canyon

Jodi Thomas

Staten

W
HEN
HER
OLD
hall clock chimed eleven times, Staten Kirkland left Quinn O’Grady’s bed. While she slept, he dressed in the shadows, watching her with only the light of the full moon. She’d given him what he needed tonight, and, as always, he felt as if he’d given her nothing.

Walking out to her porch, he studied the newly washed earth, thinking of how empty his life was except for these few hours he shared with Quinn. He’d never love her or anyone, but he wished he could do something for her. Thanks to hard work and inherited land, he was a rich man. She was making a go of her farm, but barely. He could help her if she’d let him. But he knew she’d never let him.

As he pulled on his boots, he thought of a dozen things he could do around the place. Like fixing that old tractor out in the mud or modernizing her irrigation system. The tractor had been sitting out by the road for months. If she’d accept his help, it wouldn’t take him an hour to pull the old John Deere out and get the engine running again.

Only, she wouldn’t accept anything from him. He knew better than to ask.

He wasn’t even sure they were friends some days. Maybe they were more. Maybe less. He looked down at his palm, remembering how she’d rubbed cream on it and worried that all they had in common was loss and the need, now and then, to touch another human being.

The screen door creaked. He turned as Quinn, wrapped in an old quilt, moved out into the night.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said as she tiptoed across the snow-dusted porch. “I need to get back. Got eighty new yearlings coming in early.” He never apologized for leaving, and he wasn’t now. He was simply stating facts. With the cattle rustling going on and his plan to enlarge his herd, he might have to hire more men. As always, he felt as though he needed to be on his land and on alert.

She nodded and moved to stand in front of him.

Staten waited. They never touched after they made love. He usually left without a word, but tonight she obviously had something she wanted to say.

Another thing he probably did wrong, he thought. He never complimented her, never kissed her on the mouth, never said any words after he touched her. If she didn’t make little sounds of pleasure now and then, he wouldn’t have been sure he satisfied her.

Now, standing so close to her, he felt more a stranger than a lover. He knew the smell of her skin, but he had no idea what she was thinking most of the time. She knew quilting and how to make soap from her lavender. She played the piano like an angel and didn’t even own a TV. He knew ranching and watched from his recliner every game the Dallas Cowboys played.

If they ever spent over an hour talking they’d probably figure out they had nothing in common. He’d played every sport in high school, and she’d played in both the orchestra and the band. He’d collected most of his college hours online, and she’d gone all the way to New York to school. But, they’d loved the same person. Amalah had been Quinn’s best friend and his one love. Only, they rarely talked about how they felt. Not anymore. Not ever really. It was too painful, he guessed, for both of them.

Tonight the air was so still, moisture hung like invisible lace. She looked to be closer to her twenties than her forties. Quinn had her own quiet kind of beauty. She always had, and he guessed she still would even when she was old.

To his surprise, she leaned in and kissed his mouth.

He watched her. “You want more?” he finally asked, figuring it was probably the dumbest thing to say to a naked woman standing two inches away from him. He had no idea what
more
would be. They always had sex once, if they had it at all, when he knocked on her door. Sometimes neither made the first move, and they just cuddled on the couch and held each other. Quinn wasn’t a passionate woman. What they did was just satisfying a need that they both had now and then.

She kissed him again without saying a word. When her cheek brushed against his stubbled chin, it was wet and tasted newborn like the rain.

Slowly, Staten moved his hands under her blanket and circled her warm body, then he pulled her closer and kissed her fully like he hadn’t kissed a woman since his wife died.

Her lips were soft and inviting. When he opened her mouth and invaded, it felt far more intimate than anything they had ever done, but he didn’t stop. She wanted this from him, and he had no intention of denying her. No one would ever know that she was the thread that kept him together some days.

When he finally broke the kiss, Quinn was out of breath. She pressed her forehead against his jaw and he waited.

“From now on,” she whispered so low he felt her words more than heard them, “when you come to see me, I need you to kiss me goodbye before you go. If I’m asleep, wake me. You don’t have to say a word, but you have to kiss me.”

She’d never asked him for anything. He had no intention of saying no. His hand spread across the small of her back and pulled her hard against him. “I won’t forget if that’s what you want.” He could feel her heart pounding and knew her asking had not come easy.

She nodded. “It’s what I want.”

He brushed his lips over hers, loving the way she sighed as if wanting more before she pulled away.

“Good night,” she said as though rationing pleasure. Stepping inside, she closed the screen door between them.

Raking his hair back, he put on his hat as he watched her fade into the shadows. The need to return was already building in him. “I’ll be back Friday night if it’s all right. It’ll be late, I’ve got to visit with my grandmother and do her list of chores before I’ll be free. If you like, I could bring barbecue for supper?” He felt as if he was rambling, but something needed to be said, and he had no idea what.

“And vegetables,” she suggested.

He nodded. She wanted a meal, not just the meat. “I’ll have them toss in sweet potato fries and okra.”

She held the blanket tight as if he might see her body. She didn’t meet his eyes when he added, “I enjoyed kissing you, Quinn. I look forward to doing so again.”

With her head down, she nodded as she vanished into the darkness without a word.

He walked off the porch, deciding if he lived to be a hundred he’d never understand Quinn. As far as he knew, she’d never had a boyfriend when they were in school. And his wife had never told him about Quinn dating anyone special when she went to New York to that fancy music school. Now, in her forties, she’d never had a date, much less a lover that he knew of. But she hadn’t been a virgin when they’d made love the first time.

Asking her about her love life seemed far too personal a question.

Climbing in his truck he forced his thoughts toward problems at the ranch. He needed to hire men; they’d lost three cattle to rustlers this month. As he planned the coming day, Staten did what he always did: he pushed Quinn to a corner of his mind, where she’d wait until he saw her again.

As he passed through the little town of Crossroads, all the businesses were closed up tight except for a gas station that stayed open twenty-four hours to handle the few travelers needing to refuel or brave enough to sample their food.

A quarter mile past the one main street of Crossroads, his truck lights flashed across four teenagers walking along the road between the Catholic church and the gas station.

Three boys and a girl. Fifteen or sixteen, Staten guessed.

For a moment the memory of Randall came to mind. He’d been about their age when he’d crashed, and he’d worn the same type of blue-and-white letter jacket that two of the boys wore tonight.

Staten slowed as he passed them. “You kids need a ride?” The lights were still on at the church, and a few cars were in the parking lot. Saturday night, Staten remembered. Members of 4-H would probably be working in the basement on projects.

One kid waved. A tall Hispanic boy named Lucas whom he thought was the oldest son of the head wrangler on the Collins Ranch. Reyes was his last name, and Staten remembered the boy being one of a dozen young kids who were often hired part-time at the ranch.

Staten had heard the kid was almost as good a wrangler as his father. The magic of working with horses must have been passed down from father to son, along with the height. Young Reyes might be lean but, thanks to working, he would be in better shape than either of the football boys. When Lucas Reyes finished high school, he’d have no trouble hiring on at any of the big ranches, including the Double K.

“No, we’re fine, Mr. Kirkland,” the Reyes boy said politely. “We’re just walking down to the station for a Coke. Reid Collins’s brother is picking us up soon.”

“No crime in that, mister,” a redheaded kid in a letter jacket answered. His words came fast and clipped, reminding Staten of how his son had sounded.

Volume from a boy trying to prove he was a man, Staten thought.

He couldn’t see the faces of the two boys with letter jackets, but the girl kept her head up. “We’ve been working on a project for the fair,” she answered politely. “I’m Lauren Brigman, Mr. Kirkland.”

Staten nodded.
Sheriff Brigman’s daughter, I remember you
. She knew enough to be polite, but it was none of his business. “Good evening, Lauren,” he said. “Nice to see you again. Good luck with the project.”

When he pulled away, he shook his head. Normally, he wouldn’t have bothered to stop. At this rate he’d turn into a nosy old man by forty-five. It didn’t seem that long ago that he and Amalah used to walk up to the gas station after meetings at the church.

Hell, maybe Quinn asking to kiss him had rattled him more than he’d thought. He needed to get his head straight. She was just a friend. A woman he turned to when the storms came. Nothing more. That was the way they both wanted it.

Until he made it back to her porch next Friday night, he had a truckload of trouble at the ranch to worry about.

Lauren

A
MIDNIGHT
MOON
blinked its way between storm clouds as Lauren Brigman cleaned the mud off her shoes. The guys had gone inside the gas station for Cokes. She didn’t really want anything to drink, but it was either walk over with the others after working on their fair projects or stay back at the church and talk to Mrs. Patterson.

Somewhere Mrs. Patterson had gotten the idea that since Lauren didn’t have a mother around, she should take every opportunity to have a “girl talk” with the sheriff’s daughter.

Lauren wanted to tell the old woman that she had known all the facts of life by the age of seven, and she really did not need a buddy to share her teenage years with.

Reid Collins walked out from the gas station first with a can of Coke in each hand. “I bought you one even though you said you didn’t want anything to drink,” he announced as he neared. “Want to lean on me while you clean your shoes?”

Lauren rolled her eyes. Since he’d grown a few inches and started working out, Reid thought he was God’s gift to girls.

“Why?” she asked as she tossed the stick. “I have a brick wall to lean on. And don’t get any ideas we’re on a date, Reid, just because I walked over here with you.”

“I don’t date sophomores,” he snapped. “I’m on first string, you know. I could probably date any senior I want to. Besides, you’re like a little sister, Lauren. We’ve known each other since you were in the first grade.”

She thought of mentioning that playing first string on a football team that only had forty players total, including the coaches and water boy, wasn’t any great accomplishment, but arguing with Reid would rot her brain. He’d been born rich, and he’d thought he knew everything since he’d cleared the birth canal. She feared his disease was terminal.

“If you’re cold, I’ll let you wear my football jacket.” When she didn’t comment, he bragged, “I had to reorder a bigger size after a month of working out.”

She hated to, but if she didn’t compliment him soon, he’d never stop begging. “You look great in the jacket, Reid. Half the seniors on the team aren’t as big as you.” There was nothing wrong with Reid from the neck down. In a few years he’d be a knockout with the Collins good looks and trademark rusty hair, not quite brown, not quite red. But he still wouldn’t interest her.

“So, when I get my driver’s license next month, do you want to take a ride?”

Lauren laughed. “You’ve been asking that since I was in the third grade and you got your first bike. The answer is still no. We’re friends, Reid. We’ll always be friends, I’m guessing.”

He smiled a smile that looked as if he’d been practicing. “I know, Lauren, but I keep wanting to give you a chance now and then. You know, some guys don’t want to date the sheriff’s daughter, and I hate to point it out, babe, but if you don’t fill out some, it’s going to be bad news in college.” He had the nerve to point at her chest. “From the looks of it, I seem to be the only one he’ll let stand beside you, and that’s just because our dads are friends.”

She grinned. Reid was spoiled and conceited and self-centered, but she was right, they’d probably always be friends. Her dad was the sheriff, and his was the mayor of Crossroads, even though he lived five miles from town on one of the first ranches established near Ransom Canyon.

Tim O’Grady, Reid’s eternal shadow, walked out of the station with a huge frozen drink. The clear cup showed off its red-and-yellow layers of cherry-and-pineapple-flavored sugar.

Where Reid was balanced in his build, Tim was lanky, disjointed. He seemed to be made of mismatched parts. His arms were too long. His feet seemed too big, and his wired smile barely fit in his mouth. When he took a deep draw on his drink, he staggered and held his forehead from the brain freeze.

Lucas Reyes was the last of their small group to come outside. Lucas hadn’t bought anything, but he evidently was avoiding standing with her. She’d known Lucas Reyes for a few years, maybe longer, but he never talked to her. Like Reid and Tim, he was a year ahead of her, but since he rarely talked, she usually only noticed him as a background person in her world.

Unlike them, Lucas didn’t have a family name following him around opening doors for a hundred miles.