A Strong Hand (27 page)

He felt the cane tap his arse lightly, as if Damian was measuring the distance. He realized suddenly that usually the 255

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by Catt Ford

older man touched him elsewhere on his body before spanking him, but this was not playing.

First he heard the whistle of the cane cutting through the air, and then the stunningly agonizing pain when the cane cracked across his behind. All the air rushed out of his lungs and he reared up silently, hands still gripping the table, frozen with pain. He gasped and the air suddenly returned to his lungs, making his chest heave frantically. Slowly he toppled back onto the table, panting and sweating.

Nick wanted to use his safe word, but he felt honor-bound not to, after forcing Damian into this, and Damian had said he would be getting three. Nick shivered as the pain seemed to multiply, radiating through his body until he was just one giant ache. He didn't think he could take two more.

The silence was almost more torture than another stroke would have been. He heard the noise and flinched, before he realized that he hadn't felt anything.

Damian dropped the cane and bent over his boy, his tears falling onto Nick's shirt. "I can't do this, Nicky. This isn't what I'm about." He placed his hand gently on the small of Nick's back. "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you."

Nick went limp at the comforting touch and he started to tremble, but there were no tears in his eyes as he painfully pushed himself up. "I'm sorry, Damian. I shouldn't have made you do that."

Damian pulled him into a tight embrace. "I was so afraid of what was going on in your head. I've never let a sub push me like that. I promise if you ever try that again, I'll spank you 256

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until you won't sit down for a week, you'll be so sore. But no canes."

"I won't, I won't," Nick whimpered. "I don't know what got into me...."

Damian rubbed the abused bottom soothingly. "Let's get some gel on this. I should have forced you to talk to me. I should know what's going on in my sub's head." With a sudden flash of intuition, he said, "You were afraid that you'd like it."

"Not just that, the humiliation, the way Crispin pushed him around...."

Damian was shaking his head. "Not for me. I don't go for public or private humiliation. I'm a Top. I want a sub, not a slave."

"What's the difference?"

"Come home with me so I can take care of you, Nicky,"

Damian murmured, holding his boy tight. "I'll try to explain it."

"Okay," Nick said on a sigh. It felt so good to be in Damian's arms again.

* * * *

"Serves you right," Damian said with a grin. "I didn't even hit you as hard as I could. That was only half speed."

"And Crispin
ran
at Eddy," Nick groaned. "How could he take it?"

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"Nick, this is not a competitive sport, with medals for the one who takes the most pain. Eddy is not you, and you don't have to withstand the same kind of treatment he can take. He has demons that seem as if they can only be silenced by the punishment that Crispin metes out to him."

"You'd think he'd just go to therapy."

"He does," Damian said, and grinned at the look of astonishment on the boy's face. "There are therapists who understand the lifestyle and Crispin sends him to one. But it seems like the pain from the caning releases the emotions that build up inside him. You probably should have come to dinner with us."

"Did Crispin tell you all this?" Nick demanded.

"No, Ashley did. Later. But Eddy was perfectly well-behaved afterwards. He's actually a pretty likable guy."

"How did Derek take the whole thing?"

"Wide-eyed and taking it all in," Damian laughed. "I happen to know that Ashley has promised him that he's not looking for a slave either."

"Good." Nick sighed in relief. "I'm not sure I'd want to think about that."

"Actually," Damian said, leaning over to brush a kiss on Nick's forehead, "I think it's terribly bad-mannered to visualize other people's sex lives, so no more of that. I think you need a nap anyway, pet."

"Yes, sir," Nick said and yawned. He smiled sleepily. "I guess I should have talked to you."

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"Yes, you should. Now go to sleep, baby. We'll talk more later." Damian ran his fingers through Nick's curls, knowing how the sensation put him to sleep.

He sat and watched the younger man sleep, wondering if what had just happened between them would inevitably spell the end of everything.

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Nick rolled onto his back and groaned. His arse was on fire and he suddenly remembered why.

Damian came into the room and pulled back the curtains, letting the golden afternoon sun pour in. Nick squinted at him and asked, "Why does every muscle in my body hurt?"

"You were bracing on that table as if a tsunami was going to hit you," Damian said cheerfully, turning him onto his stomach and tracing the single line that colored his butt. "This one
is
going to bruise. I'm sorry, baby. I should never have done it."

Nick felt terribly guilty. "It was my fault, Damian. You would never have done it if I hadn't been acting so—"

"Stupid?"

"Well, yeah," Nick said reluctantly.

Damian grabbed the tube of gel and started applying it.

Nick sighed with relief.

"Listen, Nick. I'm a Top, a Dom. I like to play with a sub,
play
being the operative word," Damian started. He rubbed the excess into his hands and got onto the mattress, lying on his back. Nick crawled over to rest his head on Damian's chest, wanting his arms around him.

"You are a sub, and not a slave," Damian continued. "I could require that you were always naked in my presence, on your knees, and that you never speak without my permission, but that's not the way I like to play. I also told you that I 260

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don't tolerate a sub who tries to tell me what to do to him. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," Nick said softly, snuggling into the security of Damian's embrace.

"I have never hit anyone while I was angry but I came dangerously close today," Damian admitted. "And that's not safe. I've told you that you don't know enough to set limits for yourself. This isn't a contest where you have to compete with someone else's sub to get my attention. I want to teach you what you need to know; that way you'll never get into trouble."

Nick heard that and his heart sank. Obviously Damian didn't want to keep him around for too long; he thought that he was responsible for teaching him and then Nick would be on his own.

Damian sensed that something was bothering Nick and wished the boy would speak up. He ran his hands up and down the boy's spine slowly. "You have a lovely stripe on your backside," he offered consolingly.

"Can I see it?"

"Later. It's not going anywhere. I'll even take a picture of it for you, because it's the only one you'll ever get from me,"

Damian said, nuzzling the boy's ear. He heard the slow sigh that heralded the start of arousal.

"Can I...?" Nick asked, slipping his hand under Damian's shirt. He loved the slightly rough feel of his hair under his fingertips.

"Feels like you're recovering, baby," Damian chuckled as his lover's erection poked him in the stomach.

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Nick unbuttoned the older man's shirt, laying his chest bare. He bent to suck a pink nipple into his mouth, delighted with the gasp of arousal from Damian. His hands wandered lower, unfastening Damian's jeans and pushing at them. The older man obligingly lifted his hips, helping Nick to reveal his boxers, the front a little damp.

Damian pulled Nick on top of him and the younger man ground his hips down with a slow rotation. The feel of the boy's bare skin against his chest made him wish he could take him right now. But he had already hurt Nick enough today and he couldn't think of a position that wouldn't put pressure on the boy's bruised ass.

Nick groped between them, feeling the head of Damian's cock break free from the elastic waistband of his boxers. He heard an aroused hiss and felt the buck of the older man's hips under him when he stroked the dripping head. He pushed at the boxers, wanting to see everything.

Damian held him in place with one strong arm, lifting both of them to yank his boxers down. Nick gasped as their silky hard flesh slid together when Damian exposed his cock.

The arm around his waist restrained Nick, making him feel safe and secure once again. He opened his legs, allowing Damian to thrust up against him. He kissed the older man, wanting to feel his tongue inside his mouth, sucking on it desperately as they moved together, gasping and moaning.

Damian felt the sharpness of Nick's teeth, biting on his lower lip. The boy was moving urgently on top of him and it felt so good to hold the writhing body, desperate for his touch. In one of those sudden moments of insight, Damian 262

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knew that Nick needed this to reestablish their closeness. He ran his hand down the slender flank, working it between their frantically moving hips, and pressing both their cocks together, stroked them to a shattering climax.

The wet heat spilling onto his stomach made the boy slide away and Damian held him even more tightly as they came down from their orgasmic high.

Nick continued kissing Damian, only now it was soft open-mouthed kisses, until he came to rest, their open lips just touching, a breath shared between them.

"Go to sleep," Damian whispered.

"You too?" Nick asked.

"Yes."

But Damian couldn't find solace in the oblivion of sleep. He watched Nick's beautiful unconscious face, lips curved slightly in a replete smile, and wondered at the trust the young man still had in him.

He had made many mistakes with Nick, but none that seemed as irretrievable as giving in to Nick's request to be caned. Damian groaned quietly, wondering what had gotten into him. Normally he played the responses of a sub like a virtuoso, always stopping well within their limits, while carrying them to the heights of satisfaction for both parties.

Now he had shown that he could not trust himself to take proper care of Nick, and that meant that for both their sakes, he would have to end it. If he could find the strength.

"I want too much," he whispered to himself.

* * * *

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"I must have been crazy," Nick said, peering at himself in the mirror in the bathroom.

"It looks very pretty on your cute little butt," Damian leered, patting him lightly on that portion of his anatomy.

"I'm stiff." Nick twisted to look at himself the other way.

Damian laughed. "You are so fucking proud of yourself.

Look at you, preening over it."

Nick protested, "Well you said this was my one and only. I have to appreciate it while I can. And I lived to talk about it!"

Damian stepped closer, allowing their half-erect cocks to duel lightly. "I promised that I would record it for posterity and I will. I think tomorrow it will be at its peak, the most beautiful dark plum color. So if you have time to come to the studio and let me get a shot—"

"This isn't for the catalog." Nick scowled in embarrassment at the thought of his marked arse on someone's coffee table for the ogling.

"No, this is only for me. To always have and look at when—" Damian stopped short, not wanting to say
when you
leave me
.

"Are you going to show it to anyone?"

Damian was startled at the stab of jealous pain that shot through him. "No! No one will ever see it except you and me."

"Okay, then." Nick smiled with satisfaction and then sighed. Maybe Damian would remember him after he dumped him for whoever caught his eye next. He wished that he was good-looking enough or smart enough or
something
enough that Damian wouldn't get bored with him, but that was too much to hope for.

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"Get dressed. I'll order a pizza. And don't forget your pillow," Damian teased, and ducked out of the bathroom before Nick could find something to throw at him.

* * * *

He pushed the door open and Damian heard him. "Nick?"

he yelled from the back.

"Yeah, Ian, it's me."

"Lock the door and come and look at this."

Nick locked the door and went into the studio. "What the fuck?"

Damian had set up a platform with a large bed, draped with a swathe of lustrous red silk. He smiled triumphantly at Nick. "Strip and get in bed."

Nick's hands went automatically to his jeans, but he said,

"I don't think I can—"

"Not for sex, Nicky. This is for your photographic record of the one lick you are going to experience from the cane. Hurry up; get undressed." Damian turned and went to his camera, surreptitiously pressing a hand to his crotch. Just the anticipation of seeing Nick exposed and he was starting to get hard. He shook his head over himself.

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Nick took off his clothing, draping them on a nearby chair.

He walked slowly to the red, running a finger over the iridescent shimmer of the silk. "This is for me?"

He felt warmth on his back and knew Damian was standing behind him. "All for you, baby. Just think of how that silk will look against the sweet honey of your skin."

"What do you want me to do?" Nick turned and laughed at the mischievous look in Damian's eyes. "Maybe I shouldn't ask that?"