A Street Girl Named Desire: A Novel (2 page)

She quickly reached for his zipper. “You don't have to worry about me being pregnant, I promise you you gonna cum.”

He shook his head, “Shit, baby, you ain't gots to worry, I loves to try me some of that pregnant pussy. From what I hear, that's the sweetest kind of pussy any ol way.” Backing into an empty parking space, he smiled at her wickedly, smacking lips that were so purple they could have been stained by blueberries. “We can handle business right in the backseat.”

The quicker the better, she thought, as she followed him to the rear. He immediately pulled down his trousers, and she followed suit, slipping out of her panties. As she awkwardly positioned
herself for his entry, she caught a glimpse of his package. Her eyes widened as she stared in total disbelief at the size and girth of his penis—it was the size of a quarter horse's. Were she not in the throes of addiction, this would have been the moment where instinct would have kicked in and told her to protect herself. She needed the money for a hit so bad, but was she willing to risk injury to not only herself, but her baby, as well?

“Listen, baby, I don't think it's a good idea to put that thing up in me right now. How 'bout I suck you off and—”

“Fuck that head shit. I told you I wanted some pussy, so either that or you can get the fuck out.” He quickly let her know he wasn't playing. He opened the rear door, exposing her to the frigid cold.

Once again thinking of the first blast, she nodded her head and eased back in her seat. Slowly, she closed her eyes, lifted her skirt and spread her thin legs. She winced immediately when she felt the head of his penis enter her. She bit down on her lip as he pressed forcefully, raw-dogging it, trying to put every inch of himself in her. As he plunged faster and faster, deeper and deeper, she begged him to slow down, but he could not hear her plea; he was in his own world, grunting, groaning, speaking in tongues, eyes rolling into the back of his head. He was unrelenting in his vicious assault of her vaginal canal. She could feel his dick banging against her cervix, making her uterus shift with each burning thrust.

“No … no more,” she begged loudly, as she felt the ripping of her insides.

“Oh, shit … you maafuckin tight pussy bitch … oh, shit … right fuckin there … ahhhh … right there, bitch!” Gobs of spit
dribbled freely from his bloated lips. She was powerless over the brute who forced her legs to spread wider and wider. Just as she thought she would pass out, the beast made an almost girlish squeal. He pounded her one last time and pulled out his dick, exploding sperm all over Nika's stomach and pussy hairs. Blood ran down her thighs. Breathing heavily, he jerked the remaining cum from his dick.

“Damn, sugar, that pussy was mad tight … Shit, if you want, we can …” He caught himself midsentence when he suddenly noticed his car seats were becoming saturated with thick bloody mucus.

“Bitch, you got fuckin blood all over my mama's seats! Get the fuck out… get out!”

“Okay,” Nika responded meekly. “Just let me find my panties.”

“Fuck your fuckin panties, get out my ride now!” he shouted. Looking in his flaming eyes, she knew better than to not comply with his order.

“All right,” she agreed. “But give me my money first.”

“Bitch, you should be paying me for fuckin up my car with your fuckin blood.” He reached over and quickly opened the door for her to exit.

The thought of going home crackless enraged her. She looked him square in the eyes and demanded, “Motherfucker, I ain't going no place until you pay me my money.”

He wrapped his huge hand around her small throat, trying to shove her out of the car. Her jones made her stronger than the man who had just overtaken her with his sex. “I ain't going anywhere until you give me my money!”

Seeing that she wasn't budging, he lifted one of his powerful legs and began kicking her without mercy. His foot thundered against her face and her hard stomach, but the pain made her more determined. It wasn't until he lifted his other leg, using both feet in seamless coordination, that he sent her body flying out the car like a rag doll. Lying in the snow, holding her stomach, she sobbed loudly. Blood and tears ran freely down her face. He watched her in silence as he exited out of the car on his side. Walking to the other side, he peeled off a twenty and let it drop on the ground near Nika.

Nika hurriedly approached the two dealers. Her spandex skirt had blood smeared on the front. Standing before them, she extended the bill out to them, clutching her belly as if she had to go to the bathroom.

“Give me two,” she commanded, wiping snot from her nose. They all turned away. The shred of dignity they had left made them not want to contribute even further to the obvious insanity Nika had sunken into. They looked beyond her as if she weren't even there.

“Give me two,” she repeated.

Finally, one dealer spoke. “Yo, Nika, why don't you call it a night, yo?”

Nika stared at him with confusion. “Yo, I ain't got no time for this shit, Chocolate, I been through too fuckin much tonight, give me two!”

“Not for nothing, yo, but you killing yourself out here, ma, and your fuckin baby.”

Clutching her stomach tighter, she grew angry. “You can kill that worried shit. Now, give me two.”

He shook his head, “Naw, fuck that. I ain't selling you no more. Bounce yo.”

Nika pleaded, “What the fuck do you care. I ain't begging for credit. Give me two.”

She wanted to leave but she knew no other dealers would be out. She fell to her knees and clutched his leg tightly and begged, “Don't do this to me. I … I just need these last two and I'm going in for the night.”

The youngest dealer, about thirteen, interrupted, “Fuck that! I only got two left anyway, and it's cold as a bitch out here.”

Chocolate shrugged. “Yo, you do you, nigga, I ain't selling her shit.”

The youngun snatched the bill from Nika and shoved two vials in her hand.

Thirsting badly for the hit, she decided to enter the lobby of the closest abandoned tenement. She knew of one just around the corner. Another crackhead was already inside, scraping his stem when she entered. He asked her if she could spare a little piece of crack, but she ignored him and kept it moving toward the stairwell. It was dark and quiet on the second-floor landing. As she rummaged through her pocketbook, searching for her stem and lighter, a piercing sharp pain in her abdomen knocked her off her feet. She fell to her knees, into the puddle of water supplied by the stream of liquid leaking from between her legs. She gathered her composure and slammed both dime pieces at once.

Her eyes widened wickedly as she took a deep, deep pull from the pipe. The fire from the pipe illuminated the hallway with an amberish orange hue. The crackling from the pipe sizzled loudly as she exhaled. The drug raced through her body in an instant,
causing her brain to register an orgasm-like elation throughout her body. All of her worries were suspended. A lightness filled her head. She had no thoughts, no memories. She was within a present and without a past at the same time.

As Nika stepped slowly down the stairs and out of the building, the warm, gooey liquid streamed more fluidly from under her skirt. Steam emitted from the liquid as it hit the freezing air. Oblivious to Mother Nature's wicked cold, she floated down the wary, dark street. She heard music, though she was not sure where it came from.

Oh, happy day … when Jesus washed… when … Jesus washed… he took my sins away …

Still in a blissful haze, she neared Lenox Avenue. A couple ambling past stopped dead in their tracks, staring wide-eyed with their mouths agape. It was a ghastly sight to see: a young woman dragging a newborn through the freezing snow by its umbilical cord.

Nika collapsed and lay in the snow, staring at the flakes that seemed to be racing to the ground. The snow surrounding her lonely body turned a rosy shade of pink. The color spread rapidly. Nika never felt pain when she was high. Nor fear. Nor loneliness. Her eyes descended slowly as the song continued, its volume fading away along with Nika's mind.

Oh, happy day … Oh, happy day…

Miss Hattie Mae Evans rarely moved beyond eyeshot of her kitchen window on the ground floor of the project building where she lived on Lenox Avenue. As a result, she was usually the
first to know everything that happened in her neighborhood. On this night, just as she was closing the Bible she always read before bed, out of the corner of her eyes she saw a girl fall back into the snow, carefree, as if she expected to be caught by a lover's arms. Hattie Mae waited a few moments before she forced her sixty-five-year-old bones up out of her chair and headed for the hall closet. She laboriously put each foot into heavy black boots. On her way out the door, she grabbed the quilt off of the couch.

She cautiously approached the fallen girl, whose eyes were closed. She guessed that, despite the war scars riddling her face, the child was not more than eighteen. Staring down at the girl, Hattie Mae made no judgments about her except that whatever had led to this night was not the child's fault. She knew that no one would have willingly reached a point in their lives where they could lie unconscious, freezing to death and with a newly born baby dangling from between their legs. It was a sight that no human being who still possessed a heart could have ignored. It was a sight that made the elderly, childless, and stoic Hattie Mae want to weep without end. But she would have to do that later.

For now, she threw the blanket down next to the body. Bending down one leg at a time, not knowing if she would have the strength to get back up, she kneeled onto the ground. She placed one hand on the far side of the girl's body for balance. She used her other hand to lift the umbilical cord, placed it between her index finger and forefinger, then wrapped it tightly around her thumb. She sank her teeth into the cord, severing a connection between mother and child that would haunt them all for many years after this night.

A
week passed before Nika awoke from her coma and found herself in a hospital bed. Groggily, she adjusted her eyes toward the ceiling. She had a long plastic tube implanted up her nostrils. As she looked around, she eyed the multitude of machines and coiled needles attached to her aching body. She closed her eyes, hoping it was just a demented dream. Slowly, she opened her eyes once again. She noticed a plastic bag with clear liquid dripping monotonously into a tube that was connected to her arm. She heard the beeping of the machines, then smelled foreign chemicals. A jolt of fear made her sit upright, inadvertently ripping the needles painfully out of her arms. One of the machines started ringing.

“Where's my baby?” she screamed. She looked around, pulling the tube from her nose. She was trying to get out of the bed when she fell with a thud onto the slippery, icy floor.

“Where's my baby … where's my baby?” she yelled, as she crawled toward the door.

The first to arrive was an older nurse, who yelled over her shoulder, “Get me some help in here now.”

In a panic, Nika pleaded, “Where's my baby … where's my baby, please tell me what happened to my baby.”

The nurse threw her arms around Nika in an attempt to calm her.

“Please, miss, tell me where my baby at … I'm sorry.”

Two other black female nurses rushed into the room and immediately began assisting the first nurse in getting Nika back into the bed.

“No … let me go … let me goooo!” she moaned.

“Young lady,” said the large, dark-skinned nurse. “You must calm down, you're in an extremely sick condition. You lost a lot of blood.”

“I wanna know what's happening to my fucking child, and I want to know right now,” announced Nika. She was angry and ready to fight. She had no memory of what had happened to bring her here. However, she did know that she had been pregnant before she got here. Her stomach was now back to its original size, though not nearly as taut as it used to be. The loose, saggy skin she sensed was evidence that she had, in fact, been pregnant. She had not dreamed it up. The fact that she didn't know what had happened in the interim—between being pregnant and now—was driving her crazy. The nurses did everything
to calm her. All three of them held her arms and legs onto the bed.

“Bitches!” Nika shouted hysterically. “Stop telling me to calm down. I'll calm down when you tell me where the fuck my baby is at.”

The older nurse inhaled deeply, attempting to supress her exasperation with the difficult patient. She could tell Nika was one who was easier to help when she was unconscious.

“Take y'all fuckin hands off of me,” Nika screamed wildly. “If y'all don't tell me where my baby at, I'm gonna sue this fucked-up hospital.”

The three employees restrained her forcefully as she continued to struggle. One of the nurses pleaded once again, “Please, young lady, you are making matters worse, you must calm down.”

A demonic scowl crossed Nika's face, as she spit on the nurse closest to her. “How the fuck you like that calm, bitch! Tell me where the fuck my child is at.”

The big, imposing nurse closed her eyes as the gob of mucus trickled gradually down her face. The room fell silent. The other two nurses loosened their hold on Nika and stepped away from her. Calmly, the nurse who had been accosted reached for a paper towel that was on a nearby windowsill. She snapped her fingers in the faces of the other two staff members. They gladly took their cue and immediately scurried out of the room, without so much as a second glance.