A Special Man (5 page)

Moonlight filled the room, giving it a tarnished silver sheen. It cast shadows around the dark furniture, but seemed to spotlight the two people on the bed.

Danny lay on his back, the covers rumpled around him. The dark hair of the girl who kneeled beside him, touching him, hid his features.

Amanda felt white-hot emotion explode inside her. "Virgie!"

The girl jumped as if struck and scrambled off the bed, swinging around to face Amanda; She opened her mouth to speak, then snapped it shut.

"What are you doing here?" Amanda's voice was shaking with anger. "You— Go back to your room."

For a moment Virgie stared at her belligerently, her fists clenched. Then she raised her chin and walked out of the room without a word.

Amanda stood where she was, too furious to move, even to think. Slowly she drew in deep calming breaths. Moving across the room, she sat on the bed next to Danny. "Dan—" His name stuck hard in her throat. She swallowed and began again. "Danny, I want to tell you something, and I want you to listen carefully to me."

"I always listen to you."

She smiled stiffly. "Yes, I know you do. It's just that this is very important." She paused, meeting his gaze. "Danny, your body belongs to you—no one else. That sounds simple, but sometimes other people. .. people who think they are smarter than you might want to touch you without your permission. What I want you to know is that you don't have to let them. It's all right to say no. No one has the right to touch you unless you want them to."

He was silent for a moment. "Do you mean Leah, too?"

She closed her eyes weakly. God, what had they been doing to him? "I mean anyone," she said hoarsely. "Even the people in charge. Even Dr. Sutherland. Even me."

"I wouldn't mind if you touched me."

She reached out to stroke his strong face. "That's because we're friends. But even a friend isn't allowed to take advantage of personal rights. Do you understand?"

He nodded slowly. "Mandy?" The word was soft and puzzled.

"Yes?"

"Funny things happened when Virgie was touching me. It was...it was like what I feel when I'm with you only not the same." He closed his eyes, turning his head away from her. "I can't say it right."

"It doesn't matter, Danny. I understand."

He exhaled slowly. "You always understand. You and me, we're the same, aren't we? We laugh together and... and we think of the same things. Does it make you mad to be like a loonie?"

"I thought I told you not to say that anymore." She sighed. "No, it doesn't make me mad. If I could be like anyone in the world it would be you."

"But you're not exactly the same," he said, and now there was a smile in his voice. "You're softer than I am. And you're round here." He reached out and touched her breast.

Amanda didn't move. Don't react, she told herself. It's the innocent gesture of a child. The silence drew out and only when he withdrew his hand did she allow herself to look at him... then sucked in a sharp breath.

The eyes of the man next to her were blazing, blazing hot and green with ancient sensuality. She was not only confused by the change; she was obsessed by it. How could it be only an echo? It was fiery hot; it was real.

Suddenly, he reached out again and grasped her neck, pulling her toward him. His hold was rough, but she was too caught up in an emerald spell, too helpless to resist.

Amanda almost screamed when she felt his lips on hers. They were warm and strong and hungry—and she knew them. It was as though a missing piece of the puzzle was put back in place. He was a part of her. She recognized the rightness of it immediately, and the rightness consumed her.

Oh, God! she thought, stiffening in shock, a moan caught in her throat. This was the dream! This was what she had been yearning for each morning when she awoke.

Placing her hands on his chest, she pushed away and stared at him in confusion. He seemed to tower over her, his features fierce in the darkness. Then slowly he relaxed, his eyes settled to gray and he was Danny again.

Rising, she pushed her hair back with a shaking hand. "You'd better go to sleep now, Danny," she said, her throat painfully tight.

"I'm glad you came to see me," he said softly. "Goodnight, Mandy."

"Yes," she rasped out. "Good night, Danny."

She couldn't get out of the room fast enough and felt her knees give way as she pulled the door closed behind her and leaned back against it. She pressed a hand to her eyes, blocking the light, wishing futilely that she could block out what had just happened in the room behind her.

When her heart stopped pounding crazily, she lowered her hand to find Tom Dicks standing not two feet away from her, watching her with that awful, knowing smile.

Pulling herself together, she moved away from the door and brushed past him without a word.

Chapter Five

Amanda stood in the middle of her darkened bedroom in taut silence. Her hands were still shaking. She couldn't see them, but she could feel them. Or maybe it was her soul that she felt shake.

Swallowing ah anguished sound, she began to pace back and forth in the dark. She had been so angry with Virgie. But how much of that anger had been directed at herself because—God forgive her—she had wanted to touch him, too?

Think logically, she told herself, running trembling fingers through her hair. Danny was an attractive man. It was natural that she should be physically drawn to him. She would have to be blind not to be. It was tike seeing a Rodin sculpture or a fresco by Michelangelo. Those things were untouchable in the way

Danny was untouchable. One could admire and feel stirrings deep within, but the admiration and the stirrings were detached. They were separated from reality.

She sank to the bed. The logic hadn't done an ounce of good. She still felt a tight knot of guilt in her stomach. It was as though her very human emotions had touched something that was above all that. It was not a very comfortable experience, and for her own mental well-being, she knew she would have to stay away from him, at least until she came to grips with her own feelings.

The long night showed on Amanda's face the next morning as she walked around the grounds before breakfast. The haunted restlessness that had begun in Danny's room had stayed with her through the night and now nagged at her like the dull remnants of a migraine headache.

It was not going to be easy staying away from Danny, she thought wearily as she followed a narrow path to an almost too picturesque wooden footbridge. In the middle she stopped, staring at a small waterfall in the distance, a frown adding lines to the sides of her mouth.

It meant rearranging the life she had made for herself at Greenleigh. It meant rearranging her emotions. She had weekends off, but until now she hadn't felt the need to leave. Perhaps now was the time. She needed to get back to the real world.

Maybe she would call her friend Eric in Long Beach. She shook back her dark hair, thinking of the tall, blond lawyer she had dated occasionally in the past. He would probably do her a world of good, she thought, rubbing her temple. Eric was always fun to be with. He always—

Who the hell did she think she was kidding? she thought in frustration. She had no interest in seeing Eric again. She couldn't call up one ounce of enthusiasm. And that was what worried her.

Turning, she walked off the bridge and ran straight into Virgie. "Oh...hi," she said, feeling embarrassed as she backed up a step.

Virgie laughed harshly. "Don't worry," she said, raising a cigarette to draw on it deeply. "It's not catching."

Amanda couldn't pull up a flip reply. Shoving her hands into the pockets of her white jeans, she started to walk away. Then something in Virgie's eyes stopped her.

Turning slowly back to her, Amanda said, "Virgie, I'm sorry about last night." The girl's face grew harder. "No, I mean it. I was wrong. I had other things on my mind, and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have lost my temper. It was inexcusable."

Virgie didn't answer. She simply stood there, silently staring up at the sky as she exhaled a cloud of blue smoke. If her hand hadn't trembled slightly, Amanda would have thought her unaffected.

"I...I don't think Danny understood what was happening," Amanda said, unable to forget the slight tremble. "So don't worry about him." Raising her gaze from the ground, Amanda was startled to see the sheen of tears in the girl's eyes. "Truly, Virgie. He still thinks you're wonderful."

Virgie glanced away. "What do you expect from a loonie? What in hell does he know?" She met Amanda's eyes. "Don't you think I know what I am? Do you think I like it? Don't you know that I'm as sick of the word 'Nympho' as Danny is of 'Loonie'? Hell, I'm not even a nymphomaniac, but that doesn't make any difference to people who like labels." She threw down the cigarette and crushed it viciously with the heel of her boot. "It's a handy little word that people like to throw around. Nymphomania is a rare biological disorder. I'm an addict. I'm addicted to sex the way Peter is to drugs and the way some people are to alcohol."

She leaned against a tree and for a while was silent. When she began to speak, her voice had a curious dead quality.

"I can remember when I would do anything for a fix—anything. Men were like Popsicles. If one was good, then the whole box was better. I would scheme and lie and do anything to get it. Then when it was over I would look at the man beside me—God! some of them you wouldn't believe—and I would feel like throwing up. Then the black, sick emptiness would come back and fill me up. I would feel the weight of it in my chest and in my stomach. Then I would get out of bed and start planning where I could find the next man. Maybe the next one would keep it away a little longer." She closed her eyes tightly. "I thought I had it under control, but sometimes—" She broke off abruptly.

"Virgie," Amanda whispered hoarsely. "I had no idea. I'm so sorry. You must have been through hell."

"Yes, poor, poor little Virgie."

Both women swung around. Peter sat on the grass a few feet away from them. Unfolding, he stood agilely and dusted the grass from his jeans as he walked closer.

"You really like people feeling sorry for you, don't you?" he said, staring at Virgie as though she were a specimen in a jar. "Do you think you're the only one in the world who has done things they are ashamed of? Did you make the mistake of thinking I was in the polite circle of designer drugs... 'I'm doing Ecstasy and you're shirt is so blue'... is that what you thought? Well, it wasn't that way. I can tell you how every illegal drug will affect you. Believe me, none of them are nice. Your rap sounds tame compared to some of the stuff I've done and seen. You said you cheat and lie. Did you ever steal? From your own grandparents? Two old people who never hurt a soul in their lives." He laughed harshly. "Don't give me all this poor Virgie bull."

Virgie's face was mottled and unattractive in her anger. "Who in hell do you think you are?" she rasped out. "Did I ask for your pity? Did I even ask for your opinion? You can take your theories and shove them up your ass. When you're on drugs, you're physically addicted. You've got a nice comfortable safety net to fall back on. You didn't do it. The drugs did. Don't tell me I shouldn't feel the way I feel because you don't know anything about it."

"Feel all you want to feel," he said, throwing out an arm vehemently. "But at least admit that, problems notwithstanding, Virgie DeVries, deep down, is a nice person. Allow yourself to be nice, Virgie."

She made a sound in her throat. Holding her gaze, he stepped closer to her. "Virgie, damn it, I don't care what your father has told you. His halo has slipped down on his fat head and is constricting his brain."

She laughed, an abrupt, reluctant sound.

Peter smiled. "Forget him. Don't try to be hard. You can't be. It's against your nature."

Again tears shone in her eyes. She turned away sharply. "You're beginning to sound just as preachy as him. Don't waste your time." Her voice broke on the last word and she strode quickly away.

Amanda watched as Peter caught up with her. She heard them shouting. Vile words poured out of Virgie, but Peter matched her word for word as though it were some kind of contest. When she tried to walk away from him again, he caught her arm, and suddenly Virgie was leaning against him, crying in harsh, ugly sobs.

Amanda walked slowly away. They didn't need intruders. She had the feeling that Virgie would be all right. And Peter, too. It was only slightly satisfying to know that something would turn out right.

Amanda didn't stop walking. She walked and walked, knowing that she had by now missed breakfast. After endless steps she came to another bridge, wider than the other to accommodate horses. Looking down at the small stream, she barely heard the sound it made as it ran over the rocks.

Suddenly, near the edge of the stream, she saw a stone, round and smooth and streaked with deep purple. Danny would like it, she thought, a smile tugging at her lips. He would think it was a miracle.

Shaking her head, she sighed. There was no way she could stop thinking about him. She walked off the bridge and scrambled down the steep slope. It couldn't hurt just to give him a rock, she told herself defensively.

Picking up the smooth stone, she shook the water off and slid it into her pocket, then sat beneath the bridge in the shadows. It was cool and peaceful beside the stream. Maybe here she could decide what to do.

She must have been half-asleep when she first heard the voices. She didn't hear individual words, just the murmur of voices in the distance. They drew closer, and she heard the footsteps on the bridge above her. Whoever it was wouldn't be able to see her, she thought in relief. Virgie had been one encounter too many.

Pulling back into the shadows, she leaned her head against the wooden support.

"...been seven months, for God's sake. Isn't there any way to speed this thing up? You never told me it would last so long."

Amanda hated being put in the position of eavesdropper. But although she tried to tune out the words, the man's voice came to her clearly in her hiding place. He sounded nervous and irritated.

"You're wrong. I told you that in order for this to work you would have to turn the complete process over to me. You're too impatient. That's a mistake."

Amanda identified the second voice immediately. It was Ted's. He was speaking in that stilted, professional tone he used when discussing a patient. The other man was obviously worried about one of Greenleigh's guests, but Ted's words were not in the least sympathetic. Maybe the doctor's reputation eliminated the need for a winning bedside manner.

"If you don't trust me and my methods," Ted continued, "I can turn over the patient to you right now"

"You know damn well that's impossible." The stranger inhaled roughly. "Okay, maybe I'm pushing things. I know it's all worth it, but sometimes I wonder if it's ever going to work out."

"You came to me because I'm the best." Ted laughed softly. "Considering the money you're paying for this, I would think you would have a little more confidence in my work. If you have to concentrate on something, concentrate on what the future will be like when the treatment is complete. That should keep you busy for a while."

They were across the bridge now, and Amanda couldn't hear them so clearly. She was able to shut out the words, but from the rumble of voices, she knew when they turned from the bridle path and began to walk beside the stream. Amanda moved farther into the shadows. She saw the stranger clearly now and wondered which of the patients belonged to him. It was obviously one of the people in Danny's wing.

He was young and attractive with brown, curly hair. One curl hung slightly askew on his forehead. It looked artificial, as though someone had told him it gave him a cute, boyish look. But it was his eyebrows that were his most outstanding feature. They were heavy but curiously pale compared to his hair.

She frowned. There was something about him that struck a chord. She was almost sure she had seen him before. It always bothered her to recognize someone without being able to place him. He was probably on television, she decided finally. Greenleigh seemed to attract an inordinate number of people in show business. Maybe he was one of those enthusiastic used-car salesmen that one sees constantly on television but never pays attention to.

Suddenly the two men separated. Ted walked toward Greenleigh, but the stranger turned back toward the woods. Amanda couldn't think of anything in that direction, but decided he probably needed to walk and think, as she had.

When they were both out of sight, Amanda stood and climbed up the bank. Frowning slightly, it suddenly occurred to her that Danny never had visitors. Amanda had been at Greenleigh Acres for over a month, and not-one person had been to see him in all that time.

Glancing at her watch, she caught her breath and quickened her steps. She was ten minutes late already. By the time she reached her office, Amanda was out of breath. She swung the door open, then stopped abruptly.

Ginny and Paul stood in the center of her office, their voices low, their faces contorted in anger. When they realized she was there, Paul swung past her and out the door.

"What happened?" Amanda asked quietly.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," Ginny said, her voice harsh. "Just the same old thing. If he would just tell the truth, then we could go on from there. But he keeps telling the same lie."

"About what?"

Ginny clenched her fists and walked to the window. "Amanda, I saw him kissing Leah. I didn't imagine it."

"Today?" Amanda asked in disbelief.

"No, two months ago. And he is trying to tell me that he didn't have anything to do with it." She laughed roughly. "He was a poor, innocent victim."

"Knowing Leah, I don't find that hard to believe," Amanda said dryly.

"Oh, sure. She forced herself on him." The nurse shook her head. "Hell, I knew it would happen sooner or later. He's handsome and intelligent and sensitive. What does he want with a loser like me? Fifteen pounds overweight and hair like something out of a Japanese horror movie. I just wish he hadn't made me think he loved me."

Amanda sat at her desk, considering her friend. Ginny had obviously set herself up. She had gone into the affair with Paul expecting it to fall apart. When she had seen him kissing Leah it had only confirmed what she already believed.