A Slither of Hope (19 page)

I pushed him off me. “Whoa. Cam—just slow down—I…”

“Don't push me away, Rayna.” He attached himself to me again, his kisses too fast, too rough. He pinned my arms to my side. I squirmed. He was all over me, so close I couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. My wings kicked out, their vibration so painful I would have collapsed had he not been holding me. I tried to ask him to stop, but his tongue was a little busy in my mouth. With little other defenses at my disposal, I nipped Cam's lip. Hard. He jerked back. A copper tang flowed over my lip.

“Stop!” I held one hand out in front of me and wiped at my lip with the other. There was no blood on him, no cut at all, but something reddish came away on my hand. “What's wrong with you?”

Without his touch, I remembered why I couldn't leave. Dad. Laylah… Kade.
Oh, God. Kade.
My stomach ached and an emptiness settled in my chest. I clutched the front of my shirt to stay the swell of pain. What had I done?

“You're right,” Cam said, his eyes darting around the room wildly. “We don't have time for this. We have to go now.” He reached for me again.

“No.” I shook my head.

He lunged at me. I ducked under him, my wings flapping so fiercely I had to grip the doorknob behind me to remain on my feet. This was not the ever-restrained Cam I knew, the Cam I could have lost myself to once. I twisted the doorknob, flung the door open, and bolted into the cold, dark night. When I reached the end of the pool, I looked back. A man that wasn't Cam leaned in his doorway. He had no wings, but he wore the same clothes. My wings vibrated harder against my spine as the man grinned at me.

My knees wobbled. I did what I could to lock them and ran as far and as fast as they would take me.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Kade

I stumbled into Roxy's Diner, my wings splaying starlight over everything in the place. The last few days had been nothing but a blur, one teeming with a drive and hunger. I wouldn't let Sorath and his minions get the better of me. It was now or never to test my self-control. I flinched a smile at Shelly and took my usual seat at the diner. The ultimate test.

Of all the shit luck. Ray was still on Sorath's radar and now I was a notch above a junkie mess.

Camael was one damn step away from being named her official Protector, if he hadn't been already. Elyon knew about his indiscretion with Ray—he was right-fucking-there when it happened. He had to be using that to his advantage. He'd do anything to get his hands on Ray and those wings of hers, even sacrifice his best pawn. Not that I cared—not about Camael or his stupid decisions. It didn't matter to me one way or another what he did or with whom. But if anyone could drop that shimmery bastard off his golden pedestal, it was Ray.

I drummed my fingers on the counter, silently begging for somebody to bring me a damn cup of coffee. Only a few customers littered the tables along the wall and the booths by the windows. There were still more humans here than I'd been around since feeding with Sorath. My other hand shook. I clenched it into a fist and stashed it under the counter.

Too much time to think.

Cam and I hadn't exactly parted friends the last time we were both members of the white-wings-only club. Though we had been. Once.

“Coffee, Shelly, when you get the chance.”

She walked right by me with two plates of the special. “Just give me a minute.” Her hair was an unusual mess and dark circles rimmed her eyes. Guess life wasn't treating her kindly, either.

On my left, against the wall at a two-seater table, was a man reading a paper. Sitting all alone. Full of life.

I turned my head toward the coffee pot in front of me. Oh hell with it. I left my squeaky stool, grabbed a mug from under the counter, and poured myself a cup. No cream, no sugar, just pure, hot, bitter goodness. I inhaled the steam from the brown and white speckled mug. Hot and bitter, just like the life force of the worst scum of the Earth. I took a sip. When I pulled the mug back it was empty. Damn it. It was still too soon. Nothing inside me was satisfied. My hunger screamed and raged, begging me to pull someone outside and take the satisfaction I so desperately needed.

To keep from smashing the mug into dust on the counter, I left my seat again.

“Hold your horses, Kady. I'm here, I'm here.” Shelly breezed in with the coffee pot and poured me another cup. “You look how I feel.” She propped her head up with her arm, channeling her manager, Daphne. “Wanna talk about it?”

I sucked down the second cup, trying to feel it traveling down my throat this time. “Not even a little.”

“Fresh pot?”

“Yeah.”

She spun around toward the coffee maker.

“Leave the pot.”

She did, eyeing me a little too seriously for a girl who’d tried to swallow me whole the last time I saw her.

I poured another cup and another and another, until the entire pot was gone. It was no use. My appetite was out of control. It was too soon for me to be around humans. The words “wanna get out of here” danced on the tip of my tongue while I remembered the way she’d hooked her legs around me last time. So eager to please. My mouth actually watered.

I shook my head and pressed my fists into my eyelids. I could still smell them, the humans, but I couldn't pounce on what I couldn't see. The nothingness of being unable to see was comforting. Then the one person I did want to see popped into my head. The girl that ruined this life for me. Before I'd heard her family's house—Kay's house—was on the market I was fine, living my life the way I wanted, doing whatever I pleased whenever the mood struck. Then the bombshell. Kay's family was moving. Why? It ate at me until the only way to quiet my questions was to look into it. Her oldest daughter was mad. Off her damn rocker. Even tried to kill herself, according to the medical records I took a peek at.

Kay was long gone. Her family wasn't my responsibility. I didn't owe her a damn thing. So then why did I pack up from Colorado and move to the same city they did? I hadn't even realized I'd been packing until everything was boxed up and the ticket was in my hand. By then I convinced myself it was time for a change of scenery. I never stayed anywhere for too long and I'd been in Colorado for three years.

San Francisco was a big change from Denver. That was what I convinced myself I needed. But being in the same city as Kay's family messed with me on a constant basis. It took no time at all for me to find myself looking in on their new house. It should have stopped there and it might have had Ray not decided to become a waitress at my favorite coffee place. I wasn't about to give the diner up, so I'd make her give up.

At first, messing with her was fun. Then I noticed her constantly focusing behind me, scanning the area to the left and right of me. It was impossible, but I tested her. Then the shit hit the fan. She could see my wings. That bombshell led to this strange sort of fascination, followed by ten years of questions. By then I was hooked, addicted to the girl who looked so much like her mother and nothing at all like her at the same time. It was infuriating.
She
was infuriating.

The handle of the mug in my hand cracked. Shelly looked from the mug to me a few times. She said nothing, though. Smart girl.

I pushed the broken mug away and accepted the new one she nudged my way filled with fresh coffee. “Thanks.”

She forced a smile and backed away, leaving the counter to check on the other customers.

One sip. I didn't inhale the scent, I just took one. Small. Sip. Then I forced myself to put the mug down and watch it steam. The coffee had finally taken the edge off. I allowed my shoulders to relax a little, tucked my wings back and out of the way. One step at a time. I'd be home in no time.

A hand clapped me on my shoulder. My muscles tensed and my fists balled, but I kept my cool and didn't strike.

“Good to see you, brother.”

Sorath.

The need had been raging in me so strong I’d failed to sense his approach.

“You did your research,” I said without inflection, refusing to turn around.

The stool beside me squeaked and his bulky arm knocked into mine. “You're a tough man to find.”

“Yeah, well, I'm not sold on your whole brotherhood deal. I needed time to think.”

“Time's already up.”

“I didn't know we had a limit.”

“We do now. The girl's been spotted.”

Shit.

“You're in, right?” he asked.

“Let's go outside. You can fill me in.” I left my stool, tossed a five on the counter, and walked out the front door. Rounding the corner and heading toward the alley, I hoped he'd follow. Several minutes passed. I was tempted to go back inside and drag him out, but that would be putting Shelly and her customers at risk.

Finally, Sorath’s size-thirteen boot kicked the back door open. I narrowed my eyes at his choice of exit, but knew better than to say anything, and pretended not to care.

“What's the news?” I asked.

“First I need to know that we can trust you.”

“I'm in. Whatever it is, I'm in.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

Rayna

I ducked into a building's entryway and tried Kade's cell for the eighth time. Nothing.

Great. Just wonderful. I was on the corner of Losing My Mind and Completely Freaked Out and the only person who might—keyword:
might
—be able to understand and talk me out of running through the streets when a group of Fallen or Elyon, the angel of death, could be anywhere was still ignoring my calls.

“Where the hell are you? Emergency. Nine-one-one. Call me back.”

Cam wasn't Cam. How did this happen? I hung back in the shadows of a large apartment building’s entryway to catch my breath and enforce some quick Dr. G therapy. I’d talked to Cam twice today. First was this morning. Lee and Gina were there, so I know I didn't make it up. He told me about Dad waking up. That news was so fantastic that I hoped it wasn't falsified by my obviously unstable brain. Then he spilled the beans about Elyon meeting with the Governing Fifteen. Oh man. Fingers crossed that one was made up.

A car trekked up the street, its headlights revealing me to the world. I peered up and down the hill. When it was clear, I ran again.

I was out of options. Cam—if that really was Cam—knew where Kade's place was. It would be stupid to go back there. If Kade wasn't going to pick up his phone, then I'd have to find him. But he could be anywhere. One place did stick out in my mind: the place where we met. Roxy's Diner. He always came in for coffee, and Shelly, a waitress there, had been kind enough  to supply the love mark that rocked our almost-relationship.

I had two dollars and fifty-seven cents left in my pocket, which wasn't enough to get a cab, and no way I'd stand still long enough to wait for the bus. Roxy's was a mile from here, give or take. I'd come this far. I had to push on.

Once I arrived at Roxy's Diner, I was surprised to see the place completely empty. No staff. No customers. The florescent lights were all on, expect for the one bulb over the counter that used to flicker. It had died a slow death and apparently no one cared enough to revive it. Pressing my nose against the wall of windows, I thought about yanking open the door to get a better look before I realized my wig would do little good protecting my identity against people I used to work with. The counter was void of wings anyway, that much I could see. If Kade had been here recently, it didn't matter because he wasn't here now. That didn’t mean I was out of places to look yet. I rounded the corner toward the alley.

A set of men's voices came from the mouth of the alley. One in particular caught my attention. It was Kade's. But the other man was doing most of the talking.

“You've chosen a good time to join us, Kasade. Lucifer is strong now, and we'll only become stronger as a unit. The world won't know what hit it.”

“I'm glad to finally be a part of something again.” That was Kade's voice. But what he said didn't make any sense.

“I knew you'd come around. The second I saw you feeding off the priest, I knew.”

“He was good,” Kade admitted. “I'd forgotten how sweet the innocent tasted. You get used to the grime and bitterness of the wicked, but it's not the same. Nothing ever fills that need quite the same.”

A priest?
My stomach pitched. Bile coated my tongue. I swallowed it down. This was what he'd been up to, why he hadn't been around. But… no. It couldn't be true. I had to be hearing something out of context. I pressed my back harder against the wall and forced in slow, even breaths.

“Once the rites are completed, you'll be welcomed with open arms. In the meantime, we have a job.”

“Anything you need.” That was definitely Kade's voice. “Anything Lucifer needs.”

My knees wobbled, threatening to spill me flat on my ass. He was one of them. I didn't want to believe it, but what I heard… couldn't be unheard. Kade wasn't himself anymore. I should have run, left and never looked back, but I had to look into his eyes. I had to know for sure.

I rounded the corner, catching a glimpse of the huge dark-skinned guy Kade was talking to, his wings blazing starlight. “What are you doing?” I tamped down the hurt in my voice and laced it with irritation instead.

Kade spun around, his celestial wings flaring out in both directions, preventing another look at the Fallen behind him. He grabbed my shoulder, squeezing it hard enough to bruise, and hustled me out of the alley, dragging me around the corner. “What the hell are you doing here?” He released me, but kept his wings out.

“What have you done? This is what you've been up to, becoming a traitor? Were you going to sell me to the highest bidder, too?”

“Shut up. You have to leave. Just go and I'll—”

I didn't let him derail me. I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it for myself. All this time, he wasn't on my side at all. The moments we shared? He was baiting me, making me trust him. Like at the concert, where I saw him snap that Fallen's neck, but never saw the body after that. I didn't see Kade finish him off, only saw the blood on his hands afterward. I'd been so stupid, so willing to trust, that I let one of them right into my head, into my heart. Tears pricked my eyes and I raised my voice. “You're nothing to me, Kade! Nothing!”