A Simple Change (26 page)

Anger smoldered in his eyes. I tried to pull away, but he tightened his grip on my arm. I flinched and gritted my teeth. “Let go! You're hurting me.” When he didn't release his hold, I narrowed my eyes. “I'm going to scream if you don't turn me loose. What will you tell Brother William when he comes running?”

“The men have already gone up the path. They won't hear you unless you scream very loud. If you do that, I'll have to cover your mouth, and I don't think you want me to do that, do you?”

My shoulders slumped and he loosened his hold a little, but not enough that I could break loose and run—not that I'd try. He'd be able to catch me before I made it out of the backyard.

“Just tell me what you did with my money and what you know about Kathleen, and we can part ways real quicklike.”

“What money? I don't know what you're talking about.” I swallowed hard in an attempt to keep my voice from trembling. “I saw that note you left last week, but I didn't know what it meant then, and I don't know what it means now. Why are you asking me about money?”

“How dumb do you think I am? You're in there every day snooping around while you're supposed to be cleaning the rooms. I've seen you over by my bed, and I know you found the money. Just give it back and tell me what you've found out about Kathleen.”

I could barely believe this was the same man who had been so kind to me when we'd first met, but just like Nathan, Thomas had changed before my very eyes. “You need to think about your accusation, Thomas. If I knew you had money, why would I steal it? I have no need for money here in the colonies. Besides, my father owned a large construction company back in Kansas City. If I required any money, he could easily take care of such needs.”

Although my father had divested himself of his wealth, if I truly were in need of financial aid, he'd contact people who would help me.

When Thomas still hadn't released his hold, I tried again. “I would never steal from you or anyone else. Since we met, I've done nothing but try to help you.” I looked at his fingers still clenched around my wrist. “And this is how you repay me?”

He looked down at his hand. “It's the only way I can get you alone to speak to me. You didn't answer my note. What am I supposed to think?”

I gasped. “You knew I was at home caring for my mother. The men talked about her illness at work. You also stopped and asked Margaret about me while I was away.”

“I think you could have found a way to leave me a message if you'd really wanted to—but you didn't.”

“Because there was nothing I could tell you. If you had money somewhere inside the dormitory and it is gone, you need to ask someone else, because I don't have it.”

He released his hold but remained poised to strike. “If you don't have anything to say about the money, what can you tell me about Kathleen?”

After the way he'd treated me, I now wondered if Thomas should be reunited with his sister. How would he act toward her
if she did something that didn't please him? I could easily give him Kathleen's address right now, but I wanted time—time to decide whether Thomas would provide his sister with a happy home or if he'd wash his hands of her if she did something that didn't please him.

“There's nothing I can tell you yet.”

“So you haven't heard nothin'from your friend in Kansas City? How long does it take for her to write a letter to those people and get word back to you? I just want my money and my sister's address. Once I got those two things, I'll leave here for good.” He tipped his head to the side. “Things would be easier for you if I was gone, so maybe you should write another letter to that friend of yours.” His jaw twitched. “And maybe you should do a little snooping and see if you can find out something about my money, too.”

I ran toward the path, my heart pounding as loud as the strike of a blacksmith's anvil.

Chapter 26

Once I realized Thomas wasn't following me, I slowed my pace and continued walking toward the Küche. I'd been on the path only a short time when I heard branches crackling not far ahead. My breath caught. Was it wind in the trees or had Thomas circled around? I remained still as stone, inhaled a shallow breath, and listened intently for the sound of footsteps. Was he going to appear and level yet another threat? Prepared to run, I took a tentative step forward and gasped as a figure emerged.

“Ritt!” Fingers trembling, I covered my mouth. “You frightened me. I thought—” I stopped before I uttered Thomas's name.

Ritt's eyebrows pinched together. “You thought what?”

At the sight of him, the tightness between my shoulders eased, yet I floundered for an answer that would satisfy his curiosity. “I-I thought maybe an animal of some sort was going to attack me.”

He tipped his head to the side. “Ja? Maybe a crazed squirrel was going to jump from a tree or an angry rabbit was waiting to jump out and nibble your shoes?” He wrinkled his nose and bared his front teeth.

His jovial reaction eased my fears, and I giggled at his rabbit imitation. “You can never be sure. There could be an angry bunny hiding back there in the brush.” I absently massaged my wrist.

“If you see one, I think you could stomp your foot and it would run away.” He grinned and took my hand. “I have missed you. I thought keeping my distance from you would build a wall around my heart, but it hasn't worked.”

He dropped his gaze and his smile faded when he saw my wrist. Reaching forward, he cupped my hand in his palm. Gently, he rubbed the pad of his thumb across the red marks that surrounded my wrist. “What is this? What happened to you?” Concern shone in his eyes when he looked at me. When I hesitated, he stepped closer. “There is nothing to fear, Jancey. Please tell me what happened to you. I want to help.”

I withdrew my hand and pulled the edge of my sleeve over my wrist. “It's nothing.”

“Nein! I can see something has happened, and I want you to tell me.” He shot me a pleading look. “You can trust me. Don't you know that by now?”

I forced a smile. “One of the men came into the dormitory before I left. Some of his belongings had been moved, and he thought I'd done it. I told him I hadn't, but he didn't believe me.”

“So he grabbed you and caused that mark on your wrist?” Ritt scowled and shook his head. “Tell me his name. I am going to go and talk with him right now.”

“No, Ritt. I don't want to cause him trouble. The outsiders
have very few possessions. Most of them don't know the Lord, so their possessions mean a great deal to them. To confront him won't reflect God's love.”

“It is gut to show God's love, but love must be tempered with wisdom. Your compassionate heart is beautiful, but these men are wise to the ways of the world. If you are not cautious, they will take advantage of your caring ways.” He pointed to my arm. “And this behavior is unacceptable. A man who does harm to a woman should not be working in the village. If you won't give me the worker's name, at least speak with Brother William.”

The final bell tolled and I waved toward the path. “Run ahead of me so we don't appear at the same time. Or there will be talk.”

He glanced at the path and then back at me, obviously wanting to remain until I agreed to speak with Brother William.

“Hurry!” I urged.

I sighed when he turned and ran. I wanted to be honest with Ritt, yet fear of his reaction caused me to vacillate. Would revealing the truth spell the end of our fragile relationship? Ritt wouldn't think me such a wonderful person once he knew I'd gone off to meet with Thomas and had unearthed hidden money in the dormitory—money that was now missing.

I was the last to enter the women's door of the Küche. Wooden benches scraped on the plank floor, and the shuffle of feet filled the room for a few minutes. The hushed voices silenced when Brother William bowed his head. Another shuffle of feet followed the prayer as we all sat down. Soon the clatter of forks and knives striking china plates played a harmony all their own, and I was surrounded by a symphony of pinging silverware. Throughout the meal, I refrained from looking toward the outsiders' table. I didn't want to chance locking gazes with Thomas.

As soon as we'd recited the after-meal prayer, Sister Hanna signaled to me. “I have a basket ready for your Mutter. I'm sorry, but I must stay and help with the canning.”

The heat from the kitchen had colored her cheeks rosy. No doubt the kitchen would become even warmer by the time the sisters finished canning cherry juice this afternoon—one of the colony favorites, at least in Madelyn's opinion.

“I am always happy to take lunch to my mother. You should never apologize for being busy. Your work at the Küche must come first.” I grasped the handles and picked up the basket, pleased I would be walking in a different direction than the men returning to the mill.

I did my best to remain focused upon how I should handle all of the problems that had taken root since the day I'd first picked up that picture of Kathleen. My thoughts leapfrogged from one incident to the next, yet I'd come to no resolution by the time I arrived home. I still didn't know if I should reveal the entire truth to Ritt, if I should wait on Nathan to do as he'd promised, or if I should give Thomas his sister's address in Salina. I had so many questions, but no answers.

My mother was sitting in the chair next to her bed when I arrived home. She'd arranged her hair in a tight bun at the nape of her neck, and a hint of pink colored her cheeks. She clapped her hands together. “How wonderful. I didn't expect to see you.”

I smiled and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I'm pleased to see you're feeling well enough to get up by yourself.” After placing the basket on a nearby table, I lifted the jars of food from inside the napkin-lined container. “I hope you haven't tired yourself too much.” I handed Mother a napkin and the silverware while I arranged the contents of the basket on a china plate.

She laid the napkin across her lap and placed the silverware on the small table beside her chair. “I feel quite good today. Do you have time to sit and visit for a short while before you go back to work?”

There would be more wash to hang, but it wouldn't be ready for at least another hour, and I'd completed most of the dormitory cleaning before lunch. “I can stay while you eat and I'll return the basket on my way back.”

Mother picked up her fork. “You talk; I'll eat.”

I fidgeted with the corner of my apron for several moments, then looked up and met my mother's gaze. “Have you ever been in a situation you didn't know how to resolve?”

My mother smiled. “I can think of several that have occurred throughout my life. Does this problem still revolve around Nathan and Ritt?”

“A little, but not entirely.”

“Well, you've stirred my interest even more.” She forked a bite of stewed chicken. “Exactly what is this problem you're trying to solve?”

I didn't plan to give my mother the particulars, but if I spoke in generalities, maybe she could lend some advice. “If you care for someone, do you think it's absolutely necessary to tell them everything that is going on in your life?”

My mother wiped her lips with the cloth napkin. “That's an evasive question. Would I be right if I guessed that you don't want to tell me the details?”

I grinned. “You'd be correct.”

“You'll need to give me more than a snippet before I can provide any sort of helpful answer.” She pointed her fork at the potato dumplings. “The dumplings are excellent.” She leaned back in
the chair. “How much does this secret you're keeping affect the person you care about? Is he—I assume you're speaking of a man?” I bobbed my head. “Is the secret something that involves him? You truly must tell me more before I can make any assessment, though I believe there are very few circumstances when secrets are a good thing.”

I brightened at her last remark. “You believe there are some occasions when it wouldn't hurt?”

Her eyebrows pinched together. “I think you may be twisting my words to make you feel keeping a secret is acceptable, and that was not my intention.”

“But you said there were a few circumstances—”

“A
very
few.” Her frown deepened. “I need more specifics.”

“This isn't something that affects the person directly, but he might be unhappy that I didn't confide in him and seek his advice.”

“And why is that?” My mother arched her brows. “Because his advice wouldn't have been what you wanted to hear? Or because you had to make an immediate decision and there wasn't an opportunity to speak with him? Or perhaps because you don't completely trust him?”

“Oh no.” I shook my head. “I trust him.”

Mother tipped her head to the side and waited. “So?”

I sighed. “Mostly because I knew his advice wouldn't be what I wanted to hear.”

“Ah, I see.” She lifted the china cup to her lips and took a sip of the coffee. “In that case, I am sure the young man won't be particularly happy when he discovers your secret.” After hesitating a moment, she looked deep into my eyes. “And he will find out, Jancey, either from you or from someone else. Maybe not right away, but eventually. If you have hopes of a future with this
young man, you should remember that honesty and trust are the foundations of a good relationship.”

Her voice bore a vaguely ominous tone that caused my stomach to lurch. She was right. How would Ritt feel when he learned the many secrets I'd been keeping from him? I tried to imagine how I might feel. I wanted to believe it wouldn't matter, that I would accept his apology and forgive him. But deep inside, I knew I would be hurt and angry. Even more, I'd wonder if I could ever trust him. I needed to prepare myself, for if I told him, he might well lose any trust he ever had in me.

My mother touched my hand. “Tell him, Jancey. Better that it comes from you than from someone else. Ask his forgiveness and promise you'll be forthright in the future.”

“What if he doesn't accept my apology? What if I've destroyed any hope of a future with him?”

Giving my hand a gentle squeeze, she shook her head. “If you're meant to have a future with this young man, he'll forgive you. I'll be praying that you find the right words to help him understand why you didn't confide in him before now.” She tapped the edge of the plate. “I can't eat any more. Tell Sister Bertha the food is very good, but my stomach doesn't hold much these days.”

I repacked the basket, kissed Mother's cheek, and departed for the Küche, where I'd leave the basket before returning to work. “Thank you, Mother. I appreciate your insight.”

“If I am any judge of character, I think Ritt will forgive you. Although he may be deeply hurt, I think he will choose forgiveness over anger. He is a fine young man with principles.”

I stopped short. “How did you know I was talking about Ritt rather than Nathan or some other young man?”

My mother chuckled. “I am your mother. I've known for some
time now. I can see the love in your eyes and hear it in your voice when you speak of him.”

I departed, still uncertain when or how I would tell Ritt. I knew Mother was correct: I needed to tell him—the sooner, the better. Perhaps there would be time after prayer service this evening.