A Secret Lost Part 1 (4 page)

“Good pet,” Joanne says, leaning into me and with a hand at the back of my head, she pulls me down so she can whisper in my ear how I’ll look great dressed up in that, like the horny bitch that she knows I truly am at heart, and I need every bit of self-control not to push her away in disgust and anger. Instead I thank her, hoping we can move on, at this point, I’d prefer to be humiliated in the privacy of my own home, not in front of other shoppers. By the time she is done picking out more slutty lingerie, I’ve stopped feeling embarrassed. Numb and hurt, I pay for the purchase of things I would ordinarily never consider buying, let alone wear, and like a sheep follow her outside, not wanting to think where she might drag me off to next. That is when I see them, my body instinctively taking a step back, but I am too late. First there is the look of recognition and the smile that goes with it, but then I can see their minds try to make sense of my outfit, the smiles dying fast.

Chapter 4

Cathy

I can’t believe my eyes and neither can Nathan, I can tell from the stunned look on his face. For a moment, I think she is a different woman, not the real Anna, but there is no mistaking her, not even with the way she is dressed.

“Anna,” I say tentatively, my discomfort and shock self-evident in the way I say her name, and the absence of a hug. She looks like the kind of woman who I ordinary never have any dealings with. She looks like a slut and I feel embarrassed just to be associated with her by being in her company. What happened? I want to ask but instead just put on a fake smile, trying hard not to look at the way her breasts are about to burst free from the blouse that is stretched tight around them. I don’t consider myself a prude and there is nothing wrong with showing some cleavage, but this is obscene. She isn’t so much showing some cleavage but simply showing of her tits! I can even see some of her left areola and she isn’t even wearing a bra. And who is that girl with her? She is dressed like a slut, too.

“Cathy, Nathan,” Anna says, and I can tell she has a hard time trying to sound normal, her face red like a tomato. “So nice seeing you here.” When her hand goes to her neck, I recognize that it is not a necklace but a collar she is wearing and I can’t help stopping my jaw dropping wide open.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me, Anna?” the girl says. So far, she seems the only one who is at ease with the surreal situation.

“Oh yes, Cathy and Nathan, meet Joanne,” Anna says, but I am barely listening. Dressed in a skirt that covers only the top two thirds of an ass that I can only be jealous off, I catch Nathan drooling all over her, his eyes shining with a sexual excitement that I haven’t seen in a long time and I freely admit that I am angry and jealous at the same time, angry enough to want to slap Anna in her face for strutting around like that and pull hard at his arm in the hope that will make him come to his senses; he doesn’t even seem to notice it. And what woman wouldn’t be jealous of Anna? I’d kill for her body; the knock out curves and flat stomach, long shapely legs, and a face like that. Standing in front of her, I am suddenly painfully reminded of my many flaws.

“Nice meeting you,” Joanne says and she shakes hands, me smiling uncomfortably like it is physically hurting me and Nathan eyeing her too, a pretty young thing with that teenage freshness that he clearly can appreciate.
Enough of this!

“Anna, Joanne, it was really nice meeting you but we are already late,” I rattle off quickly, grabbing a surprised Nathan by the arm, and before anyone has a chance to say anything, I start dragging him off. If it were up to him, we’d have stood there for hours, no doubt.
Forget about that nice surprise Italian dinner, sweetheart. I’ll put a deepfreeze meal in the microwave instead!

“Bye, nice meeting you,” I hear Joanne say and I’m glad that my back is turned to them so they won’t see the grim look on my face. And fuck the beauty parlor, too! What is the use? No beauty parlor can give me looks like Anna-Fucking-Kelly.
Bitch!
I should have torn her eyes out humiliating me by being dressed up like that.

“Honey,” Nathan starts but I don’t have time for his BS.

“Oh save it, you idiot,” I snap back.

“But –“

“You were drooling all over her! Even over the young one!”

“Honey –“ he tries again. Pathetic.

“Could be your daughter. Pervert.”

“Now hold on,” Nathan says, angry now too. We argue all the way home and by the time for bed, I find my farthest way to the bedside and so does he.
Thanks, Anna!

Chapter 5

Joanne

“Now that was a pleasant surprise, Anna,” I say, enjoying seeing her squirm in her shoes. “Looks like you made quite an impression.”
God, this feels great.

“Can we please just go now, Mistress?” Anna says softly.

“Not just yet, my little pet,” I muse and see her face drop. “I promise that it will be every horny bitch’s dream come true,” I add for good measure. Putting my arm through hers, I lead the way, enjoying the attention we get along the way. Our next stop is the sex shop; she should have seen that one coming, but I can see a look of startled surprise on that perfect face of hers.

“Why don’t you pick something nice for yourself?” I say, loud enough to be overheard, standing in front of a display of vibrators of various sizes. With her face turning a deep red, Anna hesitantly reaches out for the smallest, but then she casts me a sideway look and sees my disapproving look, and with a look of defeat her hand changes course for the fattest one. “My oh my, aren’t we greedy? You think that’ll fit?”

“The Tarzan should provide a really tight fit,” a saleslady chips in. In her mid thirties, she looks the part with a tight skirt, showing off ample cleavage. With her white smile and shining eyes, I decide I like her.

“A tight fit? Sounds great. Just what Anna is after, right?”

“It is our most popular model and for a reason,” the saleslady says cheerfully. Leaning over, she softly tells her that a lot of women feel a bit uncomfortable when they set foot in a sex store and go for what they really want, but that she shouldn’t. “Trust me, girl, we all have our carnal desires and we might as well be real about them.”

I almost burst out laughing when I see Anna’s big round eyes stare ahead of her, her jaw clenched tightly shut, radiating humiliation and anger at the same time.

“You know what? I really think I should take a picture of this,” I say, taking out my cellphone. “This a memorable event after all, right, Anna?”All the poor woman can do is nod miserably and I feel the impulse to burst out laughing only grow. “Now look at me, hold up Tarzan and smile!”

Holding up the Tarzan, the saleslady leaning into Anna, smiling broadly, Anna stares with a pained smile at me when I immortalize the moment.

“Let’s hear it for girl power!” I say with a laugh.

“Girl power!” the saleslady says with righteous enthusiasm. Anna can barely get the words out.

“Now, where are the dildos?” I ask with my sweet girl voice.

“This way! You girls are going to love our collection,” the saleslady says.

“I don’t doubt it,” I say, an arm around Anna, following my favorite saleslady.

“Now this is what you want if you want to set your nights on fire,” she says, picking out a dildo that is a perfect match for the Tarzan. Nine inches long and seven inches around, the box says.

“We’ll take it, Anna will love it,” I say. When Anna just stares at the object, the Tarzan clenched in one hand, I ask her if she will love it.

“I will,” she stammers. Looking away at the floor, she meekly adds ”Mistress,” and I see our saleslady’s eyes light up.

“Oh wow, you’re into this? Cool! Me too! Are you with a club?”

“No, but we might join one, eventually,” I say.

“You know what? Why don’t I give you my number before you leave? You can always call on me and I can introduce you to a great group of likeminded people.”

“Sounds great,” I say with a Cheshire cat smile. “Anna here is new at this, but she is loving every moment of it already.” While I say the words, I put my hands on her bubbly ass and squeeze it hard, and I can see sweat beads roll down her forehead. 

“I am, Mistress,” she says softly.

“That blush looks so good on you.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” the saleslady chips in. Putting an arm around Anna, she squeezes her tight. “Don’t worry, it is only natural to feel a bit self-conscious, but once you’ve embraced your submissive mature, it’ll be heaven, I assure you.”

“Thank you,” Anna says, working her jaw muscles hard. There is more anger than embarrassment now and so I decide not to push her any further. 

“Anna, why don’t you wait outside while I buy you some gifts?”

“Of course, Mistress,” Anna says, letting out an almost audible sigh of relief, and loses no time dashing off.

“Anna!” I shout after her. “Your wallet.”

With a look of complete dismay Anna walks back, handing me her wallet and is off again.

“She is really quite a catch, the saleslady says, her eyes on Anna’s shaking ass.

“Oh yes, and a box full of surprises.”

By the time I meet Anna outside, I have two large bags that she eyes suspiciously.

“Do you like construction, Anna?” Not answering me, she just looks at me with anger and distrust smoldering in her eyes. “All those hard bodies, sweaty, makes your pussy throb, doesn’t it?” Anna doesn’t look like she agrees.“Don’t worry, that’s for later. Now we’ll go get you some shoes that do justice to your looks and then home  so you can dress up to look the part,” I say and see her fear turn into a look of pure terror that makes my heart skip a beat and my pussy throb.

Chapter 6

Anna

I think about my reputation as I sit silently in my car; Joanne is driving, of course. All just to show off her supremacy, I guess. I doubt that by the time she is done, there will be anything left of my reputation. Thinking about my options, selling the house and moving, I still reach the same outcome: there are no options and I have no doubt that my encounter with Cathy and Nathan is just one of many to come. The shoes she had me buy were nothing but high heels that look like they were designed to make a woman break her neck.

“Aren’t you curious what I bought you, Anna?” Joanne asks.

With my own money, that is, and wonder how much I’ll have left by the time she is done, if ever. “I’m dying to know, Mistress,” I say sarcastically, and I feel for the first time in my life like lashing out at someone physically. Now that would be a solution, the little bitch can fall down the stairs and break her neck. The moment that violent thought crosses my mind, I feel sad, though. Unlike her, I don’t rejoice in hurting others, and I silently chastise myself.

“You’ll be dying to try it out the moment you see it,” Joanne says, ignoring my sarcasm. “Doesn’t it feel great, Anna?”

“What does, Mistress?” I ask, not wanting to but knowing it is the question she wants to hear.

“That you are now free to be the naturally horny bitch that we both know you really are at heart.”

Grinding my teeth, it takes me a few seconds to calm down enough to thank her.

Turning the corner, looking smug and confident, Joanne continues taunting me.

“Really, how did you succeed at suppressing that horny self for so long?”

“I have no idea, Mistress,” I say, tired of the game she is playing.

“Must have been hell for you,” Joanne says, a smile on her face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile this much; then again, I guess she has something to be happy about.

“If you say so, Mistress,” I say, staring out the window when she stops at the stoplight. Next to us there is a four wheel drive, the driver, looking down at me, gives my breasts an appreciating look and I feel my face turn red.

“Looks someone has an admirer,” Joanne says.

Fuck you, Joanne.
I wish I could say it out loud, and again I feel bad about the way my anger is making me change into the kind of woman I don’t want to be. I am kind at heart, but I imagine if you push someone hard enough, even the kind can become mean and vicious.

“Why don’t you give him something to look at?”

My heart skips a beat at that. “Like what, Mistress?”

“I don’t know, be creative.”

Be creative? What is that supposed to mean? Turning my face up, I smile painfully at the driver, wishing I hadn’t bought a convertible. He  gives me a wide grin in return, his eyes darting from my face to my cleavage and back again. Then, to complete my embarrassment, he whistles appreciatively.

“Anna, what the fuck do you think you are doing?”

My first impulse is to correct her language, but I remind myself that I am no longer in a position where I can do so. “I am being creative, Mistress,” I stammer, afraid of whatever it is she has lined up for me next.

“That is being creative? You have got to be kidding me,” Joanne says, and even sounds sincere. “Then I’ll guess I’ll just have to spell it out for you, won’t I?”

My heart sinks a bit further in my chest and then leaps up when the traffic light turns to green and the four wheel drive pulls off. Thank God for small blessings!
Take that, Joanne
. But my victory is short lived. “No worries, there will be more stops before we get home.” Yes, there will be.

“Now, let me spell it out to you, Anna.”

Listening, I feel the blood being drawn from my face and for a moment I wish she would just crash the car and have it over with. Studying her profile, I again wonder how so much darkness can hide behind such a pretty and sweet and innocent face.

“You can thank me later for giving you the space to express your inner bitch, Anna,” Joanne says after she has finished giving me my instructions. My throat is dry and my heart feels it is out of control, if I had a heart attack now then I wouldn’t be surprised.

When we approach the next traffic light, Joanne says, “Are you ready to shine, Anna?”

I nod and my hands cling to the upholstery, as if for dear life, not that that will change anything.

“Go,” Joanne says as she stops next to a convertible, same model as mine, in it a young couple in their early twenties. Looking questioningly at Joanne, hoping this is not her target audience, she raises an eyebrow.