A SEAL's Secret (15 page)

“Olivia Kane, what has gotten into you?” she snapped as soon as she recovered enough to make her jaw work again. “I will not tolerate being spoken to like that.”

“Okay.” Feeling sick to her stomach, at herself, at the entire situation, Livi surged to her feet.

Whoa. She wiped her hand over her damp forehead and, ignoring the little black dots dancing in front of her eyes, grabbed her purse.

One step and she knew she was in trouble.

“Olivia, I’m not finished. Where do you think you’re going?”

Livi didn’t slow her sprint, but she did yell over her shoulder as she hurried toward her mother’s stainless steel bathroom.

“To throw up.”

* * *

M
ITCH
HAD
NEVER
considered himself to be a romantic guy, and he was pretty sure the last Valentine’s Day he’d celebrated had included construction paper and paste.

But he thought he’d done pretty well tonight. He glanced around the posh, candlelit cabin and nodded. He’d rented a private yacht for their romantic moonlit cruise for two on the San Diego Bay that included a gourmet dinner, a vase of roses and a box of chocolates. Yeah, he thought he’d pulled it off nicely.

And the expression on Livi’s face told him she agreed.

“This is all so beautiful,” she murmured, looking out the cabin window at the ocean.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, looking across the small table at her. The tiny red dress did amazing things to the view, but it was her face that held his attention. She actually seemed to glow in the candlelight.

“There’s something I wanted to tell you that happened with my video schedule,” she said, the words coming in a rush, as if she were trying to force them out as fast as she could.

“No—” he interrupted. The irritating memory of his grandfather’s recent advice still causing his guts to clench, Mitch shook his head. “No business tonight. No career talk. Just us.”

Livi’s lips parted, her eyes wide and just a little nervous. Then she nodded. “Okay. No business. But if we don’t include any talk about our careers, what’s left?”

Mitch took one of her hands in his, raising her slender fingers to his mouth. Brushing his lips over her knuckles, he challenged, “Let’s find out.”

Two hours later, what he’d found out worried him just a little. Their common ground was vast, their differences interesting.

Her hand still wrapped in his, Mitch led Livi along the ship’s deck to stand at the aft railing, where they could watch the moonlight together.

“It’s so lovely,” she breathed, snugging against him.

“You’re cold,” he realized aloud when he felt her shiver. Looking around, he saw the blanket he’d requested on a nearby bench, grabbed it and wrapped it around her. “Here, this should help.”

“Mmm,” she murmured, pulling the soft cashmere close then curling up against him again. “You’ve thought of everything.”

For a few moments, they stared out at the moon, both appreciating the view of it glistening on the waves. Mitch felt Livi’s barely smothered yawn and glanced down.

“Bored?”

“No, sorry,” she said with an embarrassed laugh. “This is an absolutely wonderful evening. I’ve just been tired lately.”

She’d been looking pale in the morning, too, he remembered. And the few times he’d spoken with her before he’d returned to Southern California she’d sounded pretty drained.

“You’re working too hard,” he observed with a frown. “You’ve seemed worn-out ever since that cruise.”

“Just having trouble refilling the energetic well, I think,” she said. “I don’t do well being ‘on’ for such an extended period of time. Even when I did the Fit To Be Naked tour, I had a lot of quiet time, me time. But on a cruise ship, that’s not possible. I knew going in that it’d be draining, but I didn’t realize just how draining.”

Mitch scowled at the water.

He didn’t want tonight to be about their careers because he didn’t want to think about his. Especially about the choices ahead of him. If he chose DEVGRU, Mitch knew it’d essentially be the end of their relationship. He’d be stationed in Virginia, undergoing intensive training. There was no way they could make a relationship work with that sort of distance, with the intense demands on his time, energy, life.

Still, he felt compelled to protect her. Pulling Livi around so her back was snuggled to his front, he wrapped his arms around her waist and surrounded her with warmth.

Then he did the same with his carefully worded advice.

“Perhaps you could integrate more leisure into your schedule,” he suggested. “Reconsider accepting projects that stress you out and focus on the ones you feel the best about.”

“In other words, don’t work so hard, stand up to my manager about scheduling and don’t do anything I don’t want?” she clarified with a laugh. Turning, Livi looped her hands around the back of his neck and gave Mitch a chiding smile. “I thought we weren’t talking career stuff.”

“Okay, just a little career stuff.” He brushed his lips over hers. “I want you to be happy. I’m coming to realize how important that is to me.”

Livi’s eyes widened, emotions filling them so deeply Mitch felt as if he could drown in the power of them.

“I am happy,” she said. Then she smiled as if it were a new discovery. “I really am. I’m in a wonderful position to do something I love. I have a message to share with people and a great platform to do it from. I have a relationship with an incredible man who makes me even happier.”

Seeing the declaration in her eyes, just there on the tip of her tongue ready to be shared, Mitch did something he’d never done before in his life. He panicked. He couldn’t hear those words yet. Not when he didn’t know if he could respond with his heart, or with his mind.

So he sidestepped.

“You’re an amazing woman,” he told her, his fingers skimming through the hair tangling around her. “You’ve built an incredible business in a highly competitive market. That takes smart strategy, sure, but it also takes something special.”

“Maybe. I know it’s always interesting, if nothing else,” she said with a small shrug, her gaze still bright but a little shuttered, as if she’d pulled those huge emotions back behind a safety barrier. “I face challenges, of course. But that’s a good thing, right? What’s life without those?”

“You mean challenges like overcoming your shyness?”

“More like deciding on the right direction to go in next,” she said quietly. The wind danced around them, rocking the boat and blowing through Livi’s hair. “I feel as if I’m at a crossroad. One path is familiar, and while it’s not always comfortable, at least I know it’s a secure, well-thought-out path.”

Frowning a little, Mitch tucked a swath of her silky hair so he could more clearly see her face. It sounded as if they were on the same path, both facing the same choices. Different terrains and directions, of course. But still...

“What’s on the other path?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” She gave a delighted laugh. “That’s so tempting and scary and intriguing, isn’t it? But it could also be a huge mistake. I’m always afraid to make those.”

Yeah. Him, too.

“Which path do you want to take?” Which did he want to take?

“The one that makes me happy, I suppose. It’s hard to know which that is, though, isn’t it?”

“What would make you happiest?” he asked quietly.

“For someone to love me,” she said, her smile so beautiful it made his heart ache. “To be loved and understood and accepted. Not a huge dream, but it’s my biggest.”

Mitch cupped her face in his hands, lifting it to his. He stared deep into her eyes, wishing so much that he could make her dream come true. Her smile shook a little, either at the intensity of his gaze or at what she saw in his own eyes.

As much in caution against what she might be seeing as in desperate need, Mitch took her mouth.

There were a thousand words in his kiss.

Passionate words, needy words. Persuasively tempting words. He put everything he couldn’t say into that kiss. Everything he wanted, everything he hoped for—even dreams he’d never realized he had until her.

But even as he pulled her onto the deck chair and wrapped himself around her, letting the kiss take them deeper, Mitch was careful.

He’d put all of those words and emotions in that kiss.

But he didn’t give the one thing he didn’t think he could offer.

A promise.

12

M
ITCH
CROSSED
THE
COMPOUND
, his shoulders stiffening when he noticed the looks heading his way. He’d been getting them all day.

Actually, he’d gotten looks all his life. A man dedicated to perfecting his career, to knowing just what to train in, where to be at what time in order to accelerate his ascent up the ranks got a lot of stares. When that man was the son of a captain, with a grandfather like Admiral Donovan, speculation always came with the stares.

Mitch had faced jealousy, accusations of nepotism and even hate because of his success.

But these stares were different.

Mocking. Angry. Derisive, even.

What the hell was going on? He’d been off base on leave since Valentine’s Day, staying at Livi’s instead of hitting the barracks. You’d think if something ugly had gone down somebody would have contacted him.

He strode through the building toward Captain Goodman’s office, wondering if whatever was going down was the reason the AOIC of the SEALs had summoned him. He knew how to read the signs. Nobody had the battle vibe, but there was no worry in the air. Whatever was being aimed his way, it was personal.

Had his CSAR slipup become public knowledge? Was a minor distraction enough to merit the kind of hostility being directed toward him?

When he walked into Goodman’s office, though, the reason for the summons, at least, became clear. Anger replaced confusion in Mitch’s gut as he stood at attention.

“Donovan,” the captain greeted. “You know Captain Tilden?”

Sure, he remembered the Public Affairs asshole who’d gleefully handed him the
fluff
SEAL-workout assignment.

Mitch nodded, barely giving Tilden a glance.

“The captain has instructed me that your team will be taking part in a promotional venture that will benefit the Navy and highlight the SEALs,” Goodman said, his tone as neutral as the beige walls behind him. “Your team will participate in the filming of a fitness video featuring the SEAL workout.”

Shock rocked through his system so hard it left a ringing in his ears and a vicious gnawing in his gut.

“This is good publicity. It’ll bring in recruits, enhance the image of the SEALs’ manliness and make the Navy look good,” Tilden said in that aww-shucks voice. “You boys will get to be movie stars. Or video stars, at least. Can’t say that happens every day.”

Neither did breaking a superior officer into a dozen tiny pieces and pulverizing them to dust. Mitch ground his teeth together to bite back his initial response. Once he was sure he had a handle on it, he looked at Goodman.

“Permission to speak freely, sir?”

Goodman leaned back in his chair, slanted a look of dislike toward Tilden and nodded.

“Go ahead.”

“With all due respect to the Captain’s concerns about our public image, the SEALs don’t need a promotional campaign, nor do we need publicity. Elements of our training, such as BUD/S, have been documented before. Unlike programs such as that, this...” What did he call it? Ridiculous idea? Idiotic proposal? Clusterfuck from hell? “This is a commercial venture that would be profiting from the SEALs. Our involvement would provide tacit approval of whatever the final project became, over which we’d have no control. I strongly advise against it.”

“But I’m not asking for advice,” Tilden said, his good ol’ boy facade falling away. His beady eyes glittered with dislike. “I’m ordering you to report for filming Monday morning at oh-seven-hundred with a fully briefed eight-man team.”

Tilden paused for a moment before leaning forward in his seat with a toothy smile and adding, “Tell them to smile pretty for the cameras.”

Mitch eyed the jackass in front of him.

He’d never hated a superior officer before. He wasn’t even sure he’d actually hated another person before.

He did now.

“The orders come from Rear Admiral Morse,” Goodman said quietly. “I’ve confirmed it.”

Mitch’s jaw clenched. But not nearly as tightly as his gut.

“Permission to be excused.”

“Well, now—” His fat hand on a thick file, Tilden obviously wanted to keep playing.

“Permission granted,” Goodman interrupted, pulling the file out and handing it to Mitch with a nod.

He felt a vicious sense of satisfaction turning his back on Tilden before the man could say another word.

The file fisted against his side, Mitch refused to look at it until he was clear of the building and halfway across the base. Not because he was worried about turning around and beating Tilden’s tiny pinhead against the wall.

But because he knew what was inside. He was sure he knew who had instigated this humiliating little jaunt. He’d kissed her goodbye not more than four hours ago.

Focus
, he reminded himself when his anger intensified.
Contain and diffuse first.

With that in mind, he was determined to handle the situation before any of the SEAL teams returned from maneuvers that afternoon. He hadn’t counted on the support crew, the bevy of non-SEAL personnel who served with the team.

He was hit with a dozen furious faces when he stepped into the team headquarters.

“What’s the deal, Donovan?”

“Rumor says you got your girlfriend a sweet job using the SEALs.”

“Must be nice, using connections for everything,” someone else muttered from the back of the crowd.

Fury was a new feeling for Mitch. He was a man used to respect. He had spent his life courting it, counting on it.

He’d never faced a lack of it, and for a brief moment, he wasn’t sure how to react. Beating the hell out of the men seemed a little extreme. So he did the only thing he could do. He listened to them with the same respect he expected in return.

Mitch waited, but the complaints didn’t wind down. So he stopped them by simply raising his hand.

“The video is happening. A crew will be here filming Monday,” he told them. “Orders for this project are coming from the Public Affairs office. I’ve already requested a meeting with the base commander, and for someone from JAG to prohibit any on-camera involvement of the SEALs,” he said quietly. And then, because there was nothing left to add that would change the men’s opinion of him, Mitch did an about-face and walked out.

It took three hours before he felt confident that he’d diffused the situation to his and the team’s satisfaction.

What he hadn’t—couldn’t—change was the fact that there would be a fitness video based on the Navy SEAL workout filmed here, at the Navy SEAL training center, and that he’d been pulled from the covert-ops program to oversee it.

Or that the woman he’d been thinking he loved enough to reconsider his career path had screwed over that very career.

It took two phone calls and the promise of an as-yet-unnamed favor for Mitch to track Livi down.

Checking the address against his note, he confirmed that the cement building was the one he was looking for. It wasn’t until he reached the entrance that he saw the simple sign stamped in block letters over the doors.

Stripped Down Fitness.

Did she run her business out of here?

Curiosity running a dim second to anger, Mitch shoved open the doors and marched inside. And stopped short.

It was a gym.

But not the kind he’d have expected to find Livi in.

He’d watched her videos. Not just the stripper ones, although those had been worth a second and third viewing. But her various other videos, as well. The settings in them were all sleek, clean—simple lines and bright colors. It all coordinated, right down to the clothes the people exercising with her wore.

But this place... Well, he supposed it color-coordinated.

The cement walls were the same steel gray as the outside, cracks showing here and there behind the mirrored expanse. There were black padded mats beneath all of the equipment and in the various workout areas, but the paths between were again cement.

The machines were top-of-the-line, many of them the same as were in the Navy’s gym. The weights were metal, not a Popsicle-hued one in sight. Bright lighting and the buzz of conversation finished the mise-en-scène of a serious gym for serious workouts.

For a fitness diva, Livi sure didn’t seem to understand the idea of posh and plush. Which was probably the point, he realized. This place was stripped of all but the necessities. It had one purpose and one purpose only.

Fitness.

Just like her videos.

Mitch’s jaw worked as irritation surged again at the reminder of why he was here.

And just where was The Body Babe?

His eyes found her immediately halfway across the crowded gym.

Dressed in bright red shorts, a black-and-red exercise bra and tennis shoes, she stood by one of the workout benches.

At first he thought she was coaching the mountain of a bodybuilder as she gestured to the barbell.

Then she stepped up to the black metal rod, her shoulders loose, her eyes focused. She huffed out a breath, wrapped her hands around the bar and lifted.

Mitch’s brow arched.

He was in excellent condition.

That wasn’t ego, it was simple fact.

But, damn... Olivia Kane’s body was even tighter than his.

His abs were cut. But Livi’s six-pack was rock solid.

His body was a weapon. Hers was an homage to fitness.

But her homage was screwing with the comfort of his weapon. And that couldn’t be tolerated.

Mitch strode over and waited, arms crossed over his chest while she curled the barbell. Despite his irritation, he couldn’t help but be impressed. Her form was perfect, from the slight bend in her knees to the angle of her shoulders. Chin high, her focus was anchored somewhere in front of her as she breathed with her lifts.

Her body glistened.

It wasn’t until she put the barbell back on its stand that he saw her grimace. She pressed one hand to her stomach and closed her eyes for a second.

“You okay, Liv?” the bodybuilder asked gruffly.

“Just a little light-headed, Bo,” she said. “I probably didn’t eat enough protein with lunch.”

“You were feeling bad yesterday, too,” Mitch interrupted without thinking. “Maybe you should see a doctor.”

Two sets of eyes turned his way. The bodybuilder’s filled with suspicion, Livi’s with delight. Despite her welcoming smile, she was pale. Despite her glistening muscles, she looked fragile.

And despite his bone-deep anger, he wanted to pull her into his arms and protect her.

But he wished like hell he didn’t.

“Can we talk?”

* * *

U
SUALLY
SHE
WAS
thrilled to see Mitch. But given that he looked as if he could bite the bumper-plate weight off her barbell and spit it out as bullets, Livi didn’t need to hear ominous words to clue in that something was wrong.

Pulse jumping, her stomach pitched into her toes, and somewhere between the two, her already queasy stomach threatened to revolt.

“Sure,” she said with her brightest show-no-fear smile. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

She hadn’t even known he had a clue where her business was. But then, he was Super SEAL, so she shouldn’t have been surprised he’d found it.

“Seems as if everyone is getting something unexpected today, aren’t they?” he observed coolly.

“I’m sorry?” Her smile dimmed.

“We need to talk,” he said again. Glancing around, he added, “Privately.”

“Fine.” Her smile gone now, she gave him a searching look. “My office is right over there.”

“Aren’t you the businesswoman,” he observed, tilting his head to indicate that she lead the way.

Bo, obviously not liking Mitch’s tone, gave a low growl.

“It’s okay,” she murmured, giving Bo a reassuring smile. The big man’s scowl didn’t change, but he finally nodded and stepped aside.

Mitch didn’t say a word. He didn’t even seem to care that a three-time IWF champion was poised to use him to do an overhead press. Then again, Mitch was almost superhuman. He had no reason to care about something like that.

What was he worried about, though? Livi snagged a clean towel off the linen shelf on her way across the gym, dabbing at the beads of sweat on her chest.

As soon as they reached her office, she turned to tell Mitch that she did, indeed, have a doctor’s appointment the next morning. But before she could say a word, he slapped the door shut and assumed a combative stance. Legs wide, arms crossed over his chest.

Livi took a step back, her butt hitting the desk and almost knocking her off her feet.

“What’s going on?” she asked with a frown. Everything had been wonderful the previous night. No matter how much she’d warned herself to live in the moment and not buy into happy-ever-after, she was starting to believe in
happy for a really long time
with Mitch.

At least, she had been starting to believe.

“Were you involved in the Navy SEAL video deal that would have you filming a workout program on my base, with my men, using my fitness program?”

“I tried to mention that last night, but you said you didn’t want to discuss business,” Livi reminded him, starting to get irritated.

Before Livi could ask why it was an issue, Mitch strode forward until he was chest to chest with her. Which wasn’t nearly as sexy as it had always been in the past.

“You admit that you knew about the video.”

“Obviously.” Livi gave him a baffled look. Why was he acting so obnoxious? “So did you. If you recall, you’re the one who walked me through your gym, gave me a copy of an official—if obsolete—SEAL workout and listened to my ideas for the video I’d be filming.”

“But that’s not how the deal ended up, is it?”

Bristling at the sarcasm in his voice, Livi lifted her hands in askance.

“I know my mother discussed expanding the video to have a much more SEAL-focused presentation, but I preferred to stay with the original format,” Livi said carefully.

Had Pauline not cancelled filming? The only contact Livi had had with her since the vomiting incident was a text stating she’d instructed their attorney to adjust the contract as per Livi’s orders and would advise accordingly.