A Rich Man's Baby (25 page)

“Miss, your ticket, please.”

“Here it is,” I said as I handed it to him.

He punched a hole in it and attached it to the front of my seat. For a moment I wished I had my old life. I just wished I was able to go home and watch television, be with my kids, hold my baby, and be with my man.

I
left Tanisha at the train station and came back home. I turned on the news to see if there was anything on television about the shooting. There was nothing online or anything. I guess I would have to wait until the eleven o'clock news came on.

 

At eleven, I gasped for air when a red breaking news alert scrolled across the screen. I saw footage of Tanisha's house and cops with flashlights searching for evidence. Then the reporter appeared standing in front of the house saying, “This evening, we are sad to report that Philadelphia 76ers guard Kevin Wallace was shot twice and is listed in critical condition at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital. Police are searching for suspects in this shooting. However, another shooting may be linked to this one. A woman identified as twenty-seven-year-old Dionne Matthews of Philadelphia was shot in Roosevelt Park. Sources close to the investigation are telling us that she was the ex-girlfriend of Mr. Wallace. She is listed in stable condition at Graduate Hospital.”

Oh my God, stable condition means she's still alive.
I had to call Tanisha and tell her it was okay. She was alive. She didn't have to leave. She didn't kill anyone. I dialed her number and her voice mail picked up on the first ring. I then just got back in my car and drove back to the train station. I ran to every track calling her name. I didn't see her, so I ran back to the cashier. I jumped in front of a bunch of people waiting to purchase tickets.

I said, “Excuse me, this is an emergency. Did you sell a ticket to a woman, brown-skinned, about five six?”

“No, I don't recall,” the woman said.

“Okay, what trains have left in the last two hours?”

“About ten of them.”

“Can you tell me where they were going?” I asked.

“Anywhere you can think of. Do you want to buy a ticket?” she asked with an attitude.

I looked at her like, “Bitch, I will kill you.” But I didn't have time to deal with her. I had to find Tanisha. I stepped out of the way and buried my head in my hands.

I dialed the police; then I hung up. I thought about what I was going to say. I couldn't tell them the truth. I just stood in the middle of the train station lost, wishing anyone was able to help me.
Hopefully, she will call me.

I
opened my eyes and saw a crescent moon hiding in a dark gray sky. I was in so much pain. My whole left side was aching. I knew I had been shot. There was wetness and the smell of blood and grass all around me. I couldn't remember what happened. I felt like I was about to die. And I didn't want to die.
I can't die,
I told myself.

I heard cars passing by. I flipped over to my stomach and began crawling toward the noise of the cars. Then it came to me. That bitch had shot me. And where was she? How did she get away? I faintly remembered us tussling for the gun.

I had to get out of the park and back to my car and home before Terrance or my parents found out about this. They were going to think I was crazy.
Terrance might even leave me again.

I inched my way to the pavement and into the street. I saw bright headlights pass by, but no one stopped. Then one car stopped. There was loud rock music playing. A guy with a beer in his hand said, “Somebody hit her with a car. Damn, she's fucked up. Look at all the blood.”

“Miss, are you all right?” one said as I heard him kneel down over my body.

“No, I think she is dead. Call the cops.” One came up as he attempted to take my pulse. “We shouldn't wait for the cops, we should take her to the hospital.”

“Stop touching her. Just call the cops.”

I tried to talk. One of them said, “She's not dead,” and held my hand. “Miss, calm down, don't talk. We called the paramedics. Relax, don't talk, calm down.”

I remember feeling a little relieved when the ambulance pulled up. And I knew I was okay once I was in the ambulance and the paramedics gave their location and expected arrival time.

One year later

“M
om, get off the phone,” I yelled.

“Girl, get a life. Why are you always going crazy over this phone? You act like you waiting for a call.”

“Mom, please. Just don't,” I said as I snatched the phone from her and made sure it was turned off. I passed her my cell phone.

It had been a year since I put Tanisha on that train. And every day I have regretted it. I missed her and wondered where my friend was. I just hoped she was safe and okay. I asked myself, why did I tell her to get on the train and not to look back? I don't know what I was thinking. At the time it seemed like good advice.

The funny thing was that the police were not looking for Tanisha, they were looking for her body. She was a missing person. Kevin even posted rewards for her, and her story was even featured on
America's Most Wanted
. Kevin's ex-girlfriend was just convicted of attempted murder. They were about to try to charge her with the disappearance of Tanisha.

I gained like thirty pounds. I just stayed in the house and ate and ate. Every time I went out of the house I forwarded my phone to my cell phone just in case one day she did call me. But she didn't. This whole situation was unbelievable. It crossed my mind to tell. But I just couldn't just deal with the guilt. Her children didn't have their mother, and I didn't have peace. I couldn't rest at night. I had dreams about that day all the time. I would go to check on her children, and I couldn't even look them in their faces. They thought their mother was gone. Her ex-husband was raising her little girl, Kierra, her son had just graduated from high school, and her daughter was a sophomore in college.

My daughter was fifteen months old. She was okay. DeCarious took her on the off-season. In court we settled on four thousand a month for child support. It paid my bills, but it was less than I was making as a nurse. I asked myself all the time, was it worth it? And the answer was always no.

I rubbed my head and was about to take a nap when my mom entered my room with the mail.

“I'm taking Asia out with me,” she said as she handed me my mail. I scanned through it and noticed a card envelope with no return address. I opened it and saw a card that read THANK YOU. A yellow note dropped out of the card and I almost fainted. I knew it had to be from Tanisha. I closed my door and began reading the letter.

I read the letter again. I was shocked my prayers had been answered. Tanisha was going to be so relieved when she learned that she was not wanted for murder and that everything was okay. I was so happy. I clenched my hands together in praise. I was so thankful she was okay. “Thank you, God,” I repeated. I looked down at the envelope and saw the zip code it was mailed out of. I looked the zip code up online and booked a flight to Detroit. I had to go find Tanisha today and tell her everything was fine.

One year later

I
was sitting in the yard just staring up at the sky. The sky was endless and could be seen from anywhere around the world. In the sky was infinity. On earth, I didn't have that. The only thing in front of me was the thirty-foot stone wall keeping me in. What I had right now was an eight-by-twelve cell. I had just been found guilty of attempted murder and sentenced to ten years. I had ten years to sit back and think about how much of a fuck-up I was. Why didn't I just go and live my life? Why was I so consumed with Kevin? He was just one man, and I let him drive me crazy. I drove myself crazy. That bitch shot me and I almost bled to death. A group of teenage boys riding past called the paramedics. I had forgotten that I had tried to kill Kevin. I went from being a victim to a suspect and being cuffed to my hospital bed. I went straight from the hospital to jail.

I let everyone around me down. I should have just married Terrance and let Kevin go ahead with his business. Kevin even came to court and testified against me. He had his son there, and some woman holding his hand. And I was just sitting there looking like a lunatic in court. I kept looking at him in court, and he didn't even look that good anymore. I don't know why, but I just had to have him and wanted him.

In court, they read all my text messages and messages I left on his voice mail. It was pretty much an open-and-closed case. I was the disgruntled ex who couldn't get over my breakup. Maybe I was, I don't know. I was just so ashamed and embarrassed.

The person I hurt most was Terrance. He left me, and I couldn't forget I was disbarred. So when I did get out of here, I wouldn't have a man or a career. My parents visited me when they could, but nobody really likes to take the long three-hour journey in these mountains of upstate Pennsylvania. Camille sent letters and money, but she always told me in every letter how she was so embarrassed to be my sister. I know I really fucked my life up. If I had to do it all again, I would walk away.

“Yo, Sky, you got a visitor,” this loudmouth guard, Wilson, said. Another guard asked her why she called me
Sky
.

“'Cause she always looking at the sky. Honey, the sky can't save you. You here, get used to it, crazy bitch. She ain't leaving this place no time soon,” she laughed.

“Come on, crazy, you got a visitor,” she said as she pushed me out of the yard.

I brought my head down and felt her hands on me. I could attack her and get sent to the hole again, but it wasn't worth it.

Once I walked into the visiting room, I saw my attorney. I really didn't feel like talking to him. I felt like he didn't do a very good job representing me. He could have gotten me a temporary insanity or got me placed in a psychiatric hospital. I probably could have done a better job defending myself. I had wanted to defend myself, but my parents said that would add to my craziness. I sat down and looked over at the skinny, nervous, middle-aged white man. His suit was a little too big and faded blue from one too many dry cleaner trips.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“The state wants to make a deal with you,” he said as he put his glasses on and pulled documents out of his brown briefcase.

“About what?” I asked.

“About Tanisha Butler. They want to know where her body is, and they will give you a reduced sentence for the murder. It is harder to convict without a body.”

“I did not kill her!” I shouted at him.

The guard looked over at me, like “keep it down.”

He huffed and then said, “Listen, they have footage of you and her in the parking lot at the hospital. You have a gun to her head, and she has never been heard from or seen since that night.”

“I did not kill her! She shot me and left me for dead. I crawled to the road to get help.”

“So let me get this straight. You tried to kill your ex-boyfriend, then went to go kill his girlfriend, but somehow she got away and shot you, but she has never been seen since.”

“Yes.”

“That doesn't make any sense.”

“But it is the truth. I swear, I don't know where she is.”

“Okay, if you say so. But if you get convicted for her murder, then you will have another minimum of twenty years added on to your ten years. If you just tell them where to find her body, they will give you a reduced sentence.”

“I know my rights. I went to law school. I'm not admitting to something I didn't do. For the last time, I didn't kill her,” I said as I got up from the table and walked back toward the guard.