A Refuge at Highland Hall (28 page)

Dr. Foster looked out through the drawing room doorway and crossed toward her. “That was a wonderful program, Penny. Thank you for coming. I know the men enjoyed it.”

“Not all the men.”

Understanding flickered in his eyes. “You spoke to Alex?”

“Yes. He seemed glad to see me at first, but when I tried to tell him I was proud of him and that everyone thought he was a hero, he didn't want to hear it. He acted like I'd insulted him.”

The doctor rubbed his forehead. “I'm sorry. It seems my idea, or at least the timing, was not the best.”

“It's all right. It's not your fault.”

“But I encouraged you to come.”

That was true, but she was the one holding on to the foolish hope that Alex cared for her. “I thought my visit would lift his spirits, but I'm afraid I've done just the opposite.”

“I don't believe that's true. Alex needs the support of his friends.”

“But he doesn't want my support or friendship. He told me I should…forget about him.”

The doctor's brows knit. “You must give Alex time to accept the changes these injuries have forced on him.”

“But he's alive. Why isn't that enough, especially when he knows there are thousands of men whose lives have been blotted out, leaving behind heartbroken friends and family?”

“I'm afraid that's part of the problem.”

Penny stilled. What was the doctor trying to tell her? “I don't understand.”

“I think Alex feels guilty for living when so many of his fellow pilots have died.”

How could that be? How could he not see what a gift it was that he was alive?

“He's on his way to recovery,” the doctor continued. “He can rebuild his life and never have to face the enemy again, while the rest of the men in his squadron risk their lives every day. He can never rejoin them, and I think he's struggling with that as well.”

Understanding dawned in her aching heart, and she gave a slight nod. No wonder he was confused and weighed down with regret. His whole life had changed course. He not only had to heal, he would also have to find a new purpose and direction—and a way past feeling as though he'd let down his fellow pilots.

“I hope you won't give up on him.”

Penny straightened. “No, of course not.”

“He'll be here for another week, possibly two.”

“Where will he go then?”

“I'm not sure, but as soon as he can function on his own, he'll have to leave.”

A dizzy, lightheaded feeling swept through her. If Alex left Northcote as things stood between them now, she might never see him again.

“Most men go home to their families to continue their recovery.”

His family? Considering his mother's cool reception when Penny met her, and the things Alex had said about her and his stepfather, she doubted he'd want to go there. “Alex is not close to his mother and stepfather. He has a sister, but she lives with his mother.”

“Do you know if there are any other family members who might take him in?”

“He mentioned a grandmother in Scotland, but she lives with her daughter. I'm not sure they have room for him there.”

“Well, we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Penny nodded, her thoughts darting in several directions at once. Where could he find a place of refuge and healing? Who would take him in and give him the kindness and care he needed to heal his heart and mind as well as his body?

He might not want her help or friendship, but she would
not
let Alex be turned out of Northcote with nowhere to go and no one to care for him.

Lydia crossed the rear courtyard at Highland and started down the path toward the walled kitchen garden. Lady Julia had asked her to bring in some herbs that would be brewed in a special tea to soothe Mrs. Kate. Her mistress was growing so large and uncomfortable she could barely sleep at night. The baby's birth was still a few weeks away, though Mrs. Kate looked like she was ready to deliver any day.

The warm sun on Lydia's shoulders felt wonderful. She blew out a breath, thankful for a break from overseeing the children. She'd grown up with a houseful of siblings, but they'd never demanded as much time and attention as this makeshift family.

Andrew and Donald had been in another tussle this morning. She wasn't sure what started the argument this time, but it didn't end until Miss Penny forced her way between them and was nearly knocked to the ground. She wouldn't be surprised if Miss Penny was sporting a black eye.

Those boys needed a man to box their ears or at least give them a lecture. If only the war would end and Dr. Jon and Sir William could come home. Boys needed men in their lives, and the way things were now, Highland was overrun with women and unruly children.

She rounded the bend and passed under the arched entryway to the garden. To her left stood the long glass greenhouse. Looking to the right, she glanced through the open doorway, into the tool room. Spades, rakes, hoes, and every kind of garden tool you could imagine hung on the wall in neat rows. Wooden crates, holding smaller hand tools, were stacked to one side of a long potting bench. On the opposite end of the room, a short wooden door led to a storage closet holding extra wheelbarrows and fertilizer.

She walked in and took a small pair of clippers from the top crate, then stood on tiptoe and reached for a basket hanging from a hook on the wall. That should do. Carrying her basket and clippers, she walked out of the tool room and entered the garden.

It looked lush and full this late summer afternoon. Vegetables and herbs grew in neat rows within the four large squares, and gravel pathways gave access to each area. A few climbing roses clung to the brick walls, and colorful blooms filled the flower beds closest to the walls. Clark Dalton had expanded the kitchen gardens over the last few years, and it was a good thing too. Now that the war was on and food supplies were strained, they had enough fresh vegetables to feed the family and staff a good part of the year.

She started down the path, reading the small signs tucked in by the herbs. Finding the first on her list, she knelt, clipped a few bunches of mint, then laid them carefully in the basket.

Men's voices sounded in the distance. The wooden door at the far side of the garden wall opened. Lydia looked up and five men walked through. She blinked and stared.

One of them was Marius.

“Come this way. I'll show you where we keep the tools.” Mr. McTavish strode ahead of the men. A guard followed them in, then closed and latched the door.

Lydia rose, her heart pounding out a fierce rhythm. She never expected to see Marius today, but she supposed it made sense. The men from the camp worked in the fields and orchard, and it seemed now a few would work in the kitchen garden as well.

Marius looked her way, and his eyes flashed. He quickly subdued his response and glanced at the guard, but the man didn't seem to notice. He was listening to something Mr. McTavish said.

When the men were only a few yards away, one of them called, “Hello, pretty lady.”

She turned and recognition flashed through her. Marius's friend, Siegfried, nodded to her.

“Move along.” The guard scowled at Siegfried, then shifted his gaze to Lydia. He lifted his eyebrows and sent her a suggestive smile.

Irritation slashed through her. He was the same guard she'd faced in the orchard, the one who would've let Marius bleed to death if she hadn't insisted on taking him back to the house.

She clenched her hands.
Help me, Lord. I don't want to hate him.
She shifted her focus to Marius, watching him as he walked under the archway and entered the tool room. It looked as though his leg had healed. He didn't even walk with a limp now.

They had exchanged several letters since she'd sent him the books, and he had revealed a bit more about himself in each one. He wrote about his life at the camp, but he also shared his dream of owning a farm someday and using all he'd learned to improve crops and raise income for himself and other farmers. He'd asked her questions about her family and work at Highland. She'd answered carefully, opening her heart to him a little more each time she had written.

She smiled, thinking of all the sweet, caring things he'd said. Perhaps if she kept busy in the garden for a few minutes, she might be able to speak to him while he worked. She glanced at the guard standing by the tool-room door, and her stomach tensed. She'd have to wait until he was distracted.

Mr. McTavish led the men back out into the garden and assigned them their duties. Marius went to work hoeing around the tall bean trellis. Every so often he looked up and glanced her way. She continued clipping herbs, pretending not to care that Marius was working only a few yards away.

The guard walked to the far side of the garden and took up his post in the shade of the wall by the door leading to Eden's Garden. Mr. McTavish finished assigning duties to the other two men, then crossed to meet the guard. They spoke for a few moments, then Mr. McTavish opened the door and stepped out of sight. As soon as he left, the guard took a seat on the bench, stood his rifle on the ground beside him, and leaned his head back against the wall.

This was her chance. She clipped a few more herbs, then walked down the path toward the bean trellis. Marius looked up as she approached.

“I'll wait in the tool room,” she whispered.

His eyes widened and he gave a quick nod.

She continued on at an unhurried pace, then slipped into the tool room and shut the door partway.

Her heart pounded in her throat as she wiped the clippers with a rag and placed them back in the crate. She took the herbs from the basket and laid them on the potting bench, then hung the basket on the hook. The door creaked open and Marius slipped inside.

Her heartbeat sped up, and she suddenly felt shy and uncertain.

Marius beamed her a broad smile, looking more handsome than ever with his sky-blue eyes and sun-bleached hair. “I was hoping I would see you today, but I didn't think it was possible.”

“Yes, this is a nice surprise.” Her voice sounded almost breathless.

“I can only stay a moment.” He glanced over his shoulder. “I told the guard the end of my hoe was loose and I had to exchange it for another.” He lifted the metal end and wiggled it. “See, it really is broken.”

She nodded and sent him a tremulous smile.

“I prayed for an idea. I didn't want to lie.”

“No, of course not.”

He set the hoe aside and reached for her hand. “I want to thank you for your letters and the books. Each one is a treasure. They give me hope and help me carry on.” The sincerity in his blue eyes and the gentle touch of his hand made her feel like melting.

“How is your leg?”

“Much better, but it would be hard for me to work in the fields, so that's why they sent me here to the garden.” He lifted his eyes toward heaven. “That is God's gift as well. He knows how much I wanted to see you.”

She smiled up at him, dizzy happiness flooding her.

“Ah
ha
!” Siegfried stepped into the tool room and shut the door. “I wondered if I'd find you together in here.”

Lydia tried to slip her hand away from Marius, but he held on tight.

“It's all right.” He turned to Siegfried. “What do you want?”

The strength of his voice surprised Lydia but at the same time made her feel safe and protected.

“No need to be angry. I just came for some clippers.” Siegfried grinned, then sauntered across the room and rummaged around in one of the wooden crates.

Lydia looked up at Marius, fear coiling in her stomach. Would Siegfried tell the guard he'd seen them here? Would he use this against Marius?

Siegfried turned to them. “Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

Marius lifted his chin. “We've done nothing wrong.”

“Not yet. But if you want me to keep the guard busy so you can…” He lifted his eyebrows.

Lydia gasped and dropped Marius's hand.

Anger flashed in Marius's eyes. “Why, you—”

Siegfried lifted his hands. “Hey, I was just offering to help.”

“We don't need that kind of help.” He turned his back on Siegfried, blocking Lydia's view of the man, and took her hand again. “I'm sorry. I'd better go.”

She nodded, clasping his hand tightly. “Take care.”

“I will.” He lifted one hand and tenderly touched her cheek. “And I will pray for you.”

“And I, you.”

Then he turned and walked toward the door. Siegfried grinned and slapped Marius on the shoulder. But Marius strode past without slowing or saying a word.

P
enny took one last look in the mirror and shook her head. It was hopeless. No amount of powder would cover the purple bruises around her left eye. She looked like she'd been in a street brawl—and, in fact, that was close to the truth.

Yesterday she struggled to break up the fistfight between Andrew and Donald and received a punch in the eye as a result. She shouldn't be surprised. Andrew and Donald were both taller than she, and they outweighed her.

Blowing out a frustrated breath, she pulled open her bedroom door and stepped into the hall. She must find a way to teach those boys to keep their tempers under control.

As she pulled her bedroom door closed, she saw Julia and Dr. Foster walk out of Kate's room.

Julia linked arms with her father. “This is such happy news. I can't wait to hear Jon's response.”

“I'll go into Fulton and send him a telegram after I see Agatha.”

“I'm sure he'll be pleased but also a bit chagrined he didn't discover it himself.”

Dr. Foster gave a thoughtful nod. “I've suspected it for a time, but I didn't want to say anything until I was certain.”

Penny crossed to meet them. “What's the news?”

Julia glanced at her father and then at Penny. “I'm sure it's all right to tell you, but I don't think we should say anything to the children until we receive a reply from Jon.”

“What is it?”

“Kate is having twins!”

Penny gasped. “Twins?”

“Yes.” Julia beamed. “Isn't it wonderful?”

Happiness swirled up from Penny's heart. “I can't believe it.”

“It's true. We clearly heard two heartbeats today,” Julia continued, “and that's the perfect explanation for her showing early and for how large she is now.”

Dr. Foster stroked his silver moustache. “Twins often come early. We should prepare for them to arrive well before their due date.” He glanced toward the window, then looked back at Julia. “It might be wise for your mother and me to stay here at Highland for the next few weeks so that one or both of us will be here when the time comes.”

Julia clasped her father's hand. “Oh, that would be such a comfort. I'd feel so much more at ease having you here.”

“Do you think Jon will be able to come home to be with Kate?” Penny asked.

Dr. Foster's brow creased. “I'm not sure they can spare him at St. George's, and we don't really know when the babies will arrive.”

Penny's stomach tensed. “But Kate will want him here with her.”

“We can send a telegram when labor begins. With first babies, that's often a long process, even with twins. That may give him time to travel home for the birth.”

“Oh, I hope so.” She couldn't imagine Jon missing the birth, especially now that they knew Kate was expecting twins.

“Thank you.” Julia leaned in and kissed her father's cheek. “I'll speak to Sarah and tell her the news while you check on Aunt Agatha.” She hurried off, and the doctor walked down the hall toward Agatha's room.

“Dr. Foster, may I speak to you a moment?” Penny called.

He turned back. “Of course.” As he drew closer, he studied her face. “What happened to your eye?”

Penny explained how she had broken up the fight between Andrew and Donald.

Dr. Foster shook his head. “I'm sorry to hear it. I hope they received some sort of discipline for their poor behavior.”

Penny sighed. “I sent them both to their rooms, but I don't know how much that helped.”

“Step into the light, and let me take a look at your eye.” They moved a few feet down the dim hallway to the window, and he gently turned her chin toward the sunlight. “There doesn't seem to be too much swelling. Have you had a headache or any dizziness?”

“No, just a bit of discomfort.”

He nodded. “I'm sure it's not pleasant, having a black eye, but I don't believe there will be any permanent damage. The color should fade in a few days.”

“Thank you.”

He stepped back. “I should be going. I want to send that telegram before I head out to Northcote.”

Pain stabbed her heart. “How is Alex?”

The doctor pondered her question a moment. “About the same.”

She sighed. “Do you know how much longer he'll be there?”

“His glasses arrived, and he's making progress with the therapy for his arm, so not much longer, I'm afraid.” His face clouded and he glanced toward the window. Suddenly, he looked up, and a slight smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. “Why don't you come with me to Northcote?”

Penny stilled, considering the doctor's request. As much as she longed to see Alex, she didn't want to upset him or face another rejection. “He doesn't want to see me.”

“He's had a few days to think about that, and I have an idea that might make him change his mind.”

“What kind of idea?”

Dr. Foster draped his arm around her shoulder. “Let me tell you what I'm thinking.”

Alex squinted, then took off his new glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I don't think the prescription is right. I can't see any better with them than without.”

Dr. Harding gave a slight nod. “It will take time for your eye to adjust.”

If he had a pound for every time some doctor or nurse told him “It will take time,” he'd be a wealthy man.

The problem was, he didn't
have
time.

Mrs. Abington, Northcote's head matron, had told him he should begin making plans to leave in a few days. But he had no idea where he would go. The thought of asking his mother and stepfather if he could stay with them in London turned his stomach. Even with Lindy there to help ease the tension, he couldn't imagine it being anything short of a disaster.

He could write to his grandmother and aunt in Glasgow, but the house was small, and his aunt and uncle had four children.

He'd have to come up with a plan later. The doctor was waiting. “How long until I can see clearly?”

The doctor glanced down at his clipboard. “I'm not sure. Wear the glasses a few more days. Then we'll test your vision again and see where we go from there.”

“What about the headaches?”

“Those should fade, if they're due to the glasses.”

Alex replaced the glasses and frowned. The blurry view made his head swim.

“You have to be patient, Lieutenant. Your brain must relearn how to interpret your world with the help of only one eye, and that—”

Alex held up his hand. “I know—that will take time.”

The doctor gave a slight smile. “Yes, it will.” He touched Alex's shoulder. “I know your recovery has been difficult, but I hope you'll look around and see that others are dealing with losses as great or greater than yours. You have one good eye, and I believe your vision will improve in time. Focus on that, and count your blessings.”

He gave a slight nod. Of course, the doctor was right. He should be grateful. Many of the other men had lost limbs or were horribly disfigured. He'd only lost an eye. His arm would heal, and the scars on his face would eventually fade a bit.

“I'll be back to check on you early next week,” the doctor said. “We'll see how you're doing then.”

Alex forced out a thank-you, though he felt anything but thankful. Dr. Harding crossed the terrace and walked back inside.

Alex turned and looked out across Northcote's parkland. The day was warm, with only a few clouds in the sky. He blinked, trying to bring things into focus. But the strain of trying to see clearly made his eye burn and water. He sighed and closed his eye, weary to the bone and so tired of the fight.

God, I know I should think about what I still have rather than what I've lost, but it's hard…I feel like I'm walking through a dark tunnel, and I can't even see a pinprick of light at the end. Would You help me? Would You pull me up out of this gloomy pit and help me find my way back to the light?

“Alex.” The soft, feminine voice floated toward him from a distance.

He stilled, certain he must have imagined it.

“Alex.” The voice was closer now.

He opened his eye and looked up.

Penny stood beside his chair. She wore a light-blue dress and large straw hat with netting that shaded the top half of her face, but he could see her hesitant smile. “I know you said you didn't want to see me, but there's something important I have to ask.”

He blinked. Was this real? Was she truly standing there next to him? He never thought she'd come back, not after everything he'd said on her last visit. A wave of guilt washed over him, quickly followed by a splash of wonder. Why had she come now, just as he finished praying? Was it a coincidence, or was her arrival part of the answer to his plea?

He swallowed and looked up at her. “It's good to see you, Penny.” His nose tingled, and he had to blink hard to clear the moisture from his eye.

Her smile returned. “I have an idea. Well, actually it was Dr. Foster's idea, but I think it has promise, and I hope you'll agree.”

He motioned toward the chair next to him. “Please, sit down.”

She took a seat and turned to face him. It was only then that the sunlight fully illuminated her face and he could see her more clearly. His gut clenched. “What happened to your eye?”

She lifted her hand to her bruised cheek. “Oh, this?”

“Yes, that.”

Her cheeks grew pink. “I stepped between Andrew and Donald, and I didn't duck in time.”

He gripped the arm of his chair. How could they have hit Penny in the face? “Those boys ought to be ashamed of themselves.”

“Yes, well…
those boys
are the reason I came today.”

“What do you mean?”

“You see, Andrew is going through a difficult time. He's been sent home from school for cheating on an exam. He won't be allowed to return until January. And with William and Jon away in London, that means Julia and I must oversee all the children. Lydia and Helen have been a wonderful help with the girls, but the boys…” She shook her head. “They need a man to take charge of them.”

He gave a slight nod. What they really needed was a kick in the pants and a few hours cleaning horse stalls.

She stopped and clasped her hands in her lap. “I'd like to offer you the position.”

He stared at her. “You want me to be a…tutor?”

“I was thinking you would be more like a mentor, someone who could organize activities for them. You could draw on your military training and time at sea and teach them the skills boys need to learn.”

He pondered that a moment. “I've never thought of myself as a teacher.”

“What they need is a leader, someone to guide them and show them by example how to become physically strong, mentally alert, responsible, and hard working. You could do that.”

He rubbed his chin. “It sounds like you want me to be a nanny.”

“No, not at all. The four boys are in their teens. They need a man, not a governess.”

He'd trained crewmen that age on his last ship, the
Mina Brea.
It had been a challenge, but in the end he and his captain had been pleased with the results. Still…did he really want to take on a group of young boys?

“They love to play football and badminton, and Andrew is especially good at cricket,” Penny continued, “but I'd like them to go fishing, camping, and hiking, learn how to build a fire and find their way through a forest. But most of all, I want them to develop strong character and become wise and disciplined young men.”

He had learned many of those skills as a boy at his father's side in India.

A pang shot through his heart. It had been twelve years since he'd lost his father, but not a day went by that he didn't think of him and wish they'd had more time together. If he could step in and give those boys even half the life lessons his father had given him, then he'd be doing something worthwhile.