A Reason To Breathe (18 page)

“You try and run again, I’ll tan your hide. You think about doing anything that puts you in danger from here on out; I’ll lock you up. You even think about investigating this killer another minute; I will put a bodyguard on you 24/7. You will do as I say, or I will arrest you, do you understand me?” My hackles went up, but I kept my mouth shut…. and then I didn’t.

“You’re insufferable.” I hissed.

“Yeah? Good, means I’m doing my job.”

“And what job is that, Sheriff?” He looked at me for a brief second and then let me have it for the second time.

“Keeping the most irritating, stubborn and so goddamn sweet she makes my dick hard just thinking about her, woman…a woman I might add I’ve fallen for…. and if she thinks I'll just let her walk away from me, she’s crazier than I thought…. Safe. From. A. Lunatic,” he growled and then, “That is my job, Jenn, so deal with it and don’t you ever get in your fucking car and leave again, do you understand me now?” Um, wow, this man of few words could really lay a string of them on you when he was motivated. Nodding my head in short quick moves, because really, after that, would you argue? Then I opened my mouth to say I was sorry, and he interrupted me.

“Don’t fuckin’ say you’re sorry,” I closed my mouth then opened it, and he narrowed his eyes, so I froze.

“Swear to Christ, every fuckin’ time you apologize…. every other woman I know would stand their ground just to fuckin’ stand their ground, and you always fuckin’ apologize.” Confused, I started to defend myself, but he shook his head, and raised a hand and continued.

“And when you do, I want to rip your fuckin’ clothes off and fuck you till you say it again.” I bit my lip to keep from saying anything else; I wasn't pushing him any farther... would you? We’re on the side of the highway for god sakes; I don't want my ass on display. Jack watched me for signs I might lose my battle of keeping my mouth shut, and then finished his tirade shaking his head. “Jesus, I fell for a woman who can admit when she’s wrong, swear to Christ I didn’t know they existed.” Rolling my eyes at him, he glared back at me, so instead of verbalizing my thoughts I kept them to myself.
So on behalf of women everywhere, I will silently say, WHATEVER!!!

Chapter Nineteen

This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You

Walking into the kitchen, the smell of coffee filling the air, I saw Jack leaning against the marble countertops, a look of abject concentration on his face. Moving to the cabinet, I grabbed a cup and then moved to the pot of coffee still brewing. Jack turned to me and studied my face, and I knew he wanted to talk more about my leaving last night, but honestly, I was so stressed about this killer, I didn’t think I could take another lecture from the man.

Jack came up behind me, leaned into my back, pushed me further into the counter and then brushed his lips against my neck. Warm arms surrounded me and pulled me back into his hard chest. Standing here now, I wondered what I’d been thinking, leaving last night. 
 You hadn’t been thinking; you’d been reacting.
 Sighing, I laid my head back on his shoulder and drew strength from him.

“We need to talk about who this is, Jenn, and you’re the only one who can fill in the puzzle pieces.” I shook my head; no way, I didn’t want to think about the fact that someone in my life, someone I had to know pretty well, was a killer.

“Jack, I’ll make you a list of every man, woman and child I know, but please don’t ask me to figure out whom I think, out of the people I know might be a killer, because the answer is no one.”

“Baby—”

“I’ll think about it, ok? Just give me some time to wake up and then I’ll think about it.” Jack sighed in my ear, and I could feel him readying himself for battle. He needed information to catch this guy, but he also needed to keep me safe from the killer, so his burden as Sheriff was also personal. Rubbing his hands up and down my arms, he kissed my neck again, then moved to the cabinet and grabbed a cup, then the pot, and poured his cup and then mine. Blowing air across the hot coffee, his eyes met mine and held. I shook my head, then turned with the cup and headed back down to his bedroom.

 
How do I make a list that would point a finger to someone I know? With all of the lists we’d made in the past few days, not once did I believe it could be anyone connected to me.

I thought about everyone I’d grown fond of since moving here, and couldn’t see any of them capable of murder. Maybe it’s someone I interacted with, but haven’t given a second thought about.
Maybe
it’s someone obscure like the dry-cleaning guy or the fry cook at my favorite diner? Still no names for a list, but feeling better about it being someone other than my nearest and dearest, I wanted to soak away my troubles. As I was heading for the bathroom, I heard my phone ringing, so I grabbed it off the bedside table and saw “Mandy calling.”

“Hey, girl.”

“About time you answered.”

“Sorry, it’s been an eventful 24 hours.”

“Heard about the break-in last night, did the killer really go after Jack?”

“Yeah, he did, stabbed him in the arm, it was terrifying.”

“No shit, I’m terrified and I wasn’t there.” I moved to the bathroom and turned on the tub, pouring in my scented bath oil.

“Jennifer, I took your advice and have been thinking about the men who might have it out for Jack. I’ve got a list if you want to get together and look over it.” That piqued my curiosity, and I walked back to the bedroom to make sure Jack wasn’t listening.

“How many names are on the list,” I asked, as I looked down the hall and saw Jack on his phone.

“Five, you want me to give them to you now?”

“No, I can’t talk about it now; Jack’s in the other room and he doesn’t want me to investigate this guy anymore.”

“No surprise there, Jennifer, Jack isn’t gonna want you anywhere near this guy. Are you done investigating then? You want me to turn this list over to Lorraine?” Biting my lip and thinking about how mad Jack would be if he knew I was still investigating, I almost answered her in a positive, but I felt responsible for the deaths of these women and if I could help find this guy, maybe I would buy myself some absolution for the part I inadvertently played in their deaths. Deciding I’d just have to be careful about my involvement, I checked one more time that Jack wasn’t close, and then closed the door to the bedroom and whispered to Mandy.

“I’ll meet you at The Bean is an hour, call Lorraine and Ben for me and see if they can meet us.”

“Girl, you’re gonna piss that man off…I love it. Keep him on his toes, Jennifer, he’s not used to women, or men for that matter, ignoring his orders.” I knew this first hand, but it wouldn’t stop me from doing what I needed to do to help find this guy. For some reason, I feel like I’m the key, and that I’m the only one who can stop him.

I hung up with Mandy, ran into the bathroom, drained the tub and took a quick shower. I’d just gotten my clothes on when Jack walked into the bedroom and looked me top to bottom and asked with disbelief, “You think you’re going somewhere?” I knew this would be difficult, so I lied…. right to his face, and let me tell you I was good at it…so good, I scared myself.

“I’ve got two events I have to cover today. The paper doesn’t have anyone else they can send, and I can’t lose my job, Jack. I’m taking Rick the photographer with me, and I’ll come straight back once I’m done.”

 Jack looked like he was going to explode, so I grabbed my purse and walked quickly over to him and threw my arms around his neck, kissed him till my toes curled, and before he could tell me to stay put like a good little girl, I rushed down the hall leaving him dazed and confused.

*
                            *                            *

       Business at The Bean was slow, making it easy to grab a table in the back, away from prying eyes, and it gave me the advantage of knowing who came in before I was seen. If Jack or any of his deputies came in for coffee, I’d just duck into the ladies room. Coffee in hand, Ben, Mandy and Lorraine, joined me at the table. Mandy pulled out her list, and we passed it around to each other.

“I see the Mayor made the list.” Lorraine laughed.

“He and Jack have dated the same women in the past and Jack being the better man always won out.” Ben informed the three of us. Jack being the better man was an understatement of epic proportions. After one lunch with the illustrious Mayor, I knew why his wife had left him.

“I can attest to the difference between them, but I can’t see the Mayor being the killer. Wouldn’t he have shown signs by now? He’s in a powerful position, and I’d think that would tend to lend itself to showing his weakness of psyche by now.”      

“What about Christopher Hartman? He was in a bad way when Kimberly dumped him to date Jack.”

Mandy informed me that Christopher was the high school football coach and had been dating Kimberly for several months when Jack stepped up, and Kimberly stepped down from Christopher. I shook my head; I didn’t know this man, had never met him, so there was no reason for him to be protective to the point of murder.

“Why don’t you think it could be him?” Lorraine’s asked.

I looked around the table and decided I’d better fill them in if this meeting was going to be productive.

“The killer said something last night when he was fighting Jack, which leads Jack to believe that this killer may be obsessed with me. I don’t know if it’s true, but it fits, and I’ve never met Christopher Hartman.” Gasps and a grunt were heard around the table, and I looked at each of them and then continued.

“We need to focus on men I know until Jack decides otherwise.”

“Oh, my god, are you telling me this creep is killing because he’s in love with you and he wants to kill Jack?” Mandy’s pissed off voice whispered across the table.

“That’s what Jack thinks.” I kept my eyes on Mandy and watched, as her face got redder by the second, so I grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

 
“This is messed up, Jennifer, I can see why someone would fall in love with you, but kill people because of you, there’s a special place in hell for that kind of fucked up.” I was about to respond to Mandy when Lorraine nudged me, and I turned to her; then my eyes went up when I noticed a tall figure behind her. I met Jack’s angry eyes and had the good grace to say, without him even saying a word.

“Sorry?”

Jack raised an eyebrow at that, and I smiled. He rolled his eyes to the ceiling, clearly asking for patience, and then grabbed a chair and sat down at the table.

“If you’re going to lie, next time at least make it believable,
 
and
 something I can’t pick up the phone and verify, for Christ sake…. So what was so damn important that you had to lie, ignore my orders and earn yourself a lockup in the county jail?” Wanting to point out that I’d never verbally agreed to this arrangement, since he’d wouldn’t let me speak last night under penalty of punishment, I ignored his empty threat and turned to Mandy.

“Mandy made a list of all the men who are pissed at you over women, and we’re going over the list to see if I know any of them.” Jack looked at me, and then at the rest of table,
 
then
 said on a growl, “Tell me you didn’t leak confidential information to a member of the press?”

“I’m a member of the press, Jack.”

“You’re also a witness to the attack and were bound by the Sheriff’s department not to discuss this with anyone.” 
Whoops.

“Shit, sorry.” Jack raised his index finger to stop me.

“Don’t fuckin’ say you’re sorry…. not one more time.”

I rolled my eyes and then turned to Mandy, “Show him the list.” Mandy handed the paper to Jack, and he stared at it a moment, then took it, and read the names. He then pulled a pen out of his shirt pocket and added names then marked out names. Curious, whom he marked off and added, but not about to ask and get growled at again, I waited till he finished. Once he was done, he folded the paper up and then stuck it in his pocket.

“Hey, that’s ours.” I cried out, and Jack raised his finger and I bit my lip, then he turned to Ben.

“Now that you know, can I count on you to stop meeting with Jenn and investigating?” Ben nodded once. Then Jack turned to Lorraine.

“Now that 
you
 know can I have your assurance that you won’t print a word of this till the killer is caught, and 
you’ll
 stop meeting Jenn to investigate?” Lorraine gave a slow nod, as well. Jack then turned to Mandy, looked at her and then shook his head.

“Fuckin’ know better than to ask you, you’re as stubborn as she is.” Mandy snorted and crossed her arms. He
 
then
 turned to me, cocked his head to the side and said,

“Your sweet ass is gonna look good in orange.”

“You wouldn’t?”

“Told you last night I would.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Told Chad if you stepped out of line again, I’d arrest you.”

“I haven’t done anything wrong?”

“You just leaked information to a member of the press, after, you signed a confidentiality agreement with my office. I can and I will.” I watched his face for any signs he was bluffing, and didn’t see any.
 
Shit. 
I couldn’t apologize that would piss him off. Looking around the table and then back again at Jack, I decided I only had one choice. So I jumped up and made a break for it…

*
                            *                            *

       “Let me go, Jack.”

“Should have thought of this sooner, I can bring you to work every day, lock you up, keep you out of trouble, get my work done, and then collect you from the jail on my way home.”

“If you shut that cell door, I swear I’ll never speak to you again.”

“Sweetness, that’s not much of a bargaining chip you’re offering.”

“Jack this isn’t funny.”

 He shut the cell door and turned the key. Smiled then turned around and chuckled as he made his way out of lockup.

“Jaaaack?”
 Nothing, no answer, I turned around, looked at the cell, walked over to the cot and sank down on it
. He was just joking around…he’ll be back
.  I looked back the way he left, still no Jack, I looked back at the cell, saw a metal tray with food and got an idea…

*
                            *                            *

       “Just so you know.” Came Jack’s voice over the
 loudspeaker  “I put you in isolation. No one can hear that racket you’re making but you.” I stopped banging the tray against the bars, and turned my head towards the camera I’d seen in the ceiling. I tried to bring up some tears for effect and then with broken words, pleaded my case.

“J..Jack, I’m sorry, I, I promise, OK?”

“Baby, this hurts me worse than it hurts you,” He laughed.