A Real Cowboy Never Says No (13 page)

She hadn't been lying when she'd said a part of her wanted to lose herself in the moment with him, but Taylor's words kept ringing in her ears. She was falling too hard and too fast for him, and there was so much at stake. Her own life, and her baby's.

The truth was, she was a complete mess right now, from her mom's death, and then AJ's, and then the baby thing. Of course she was latching onto Chase. What woman wouldn't? But that could only lead to bad things. She couldn't even find her own feet right now. How could she trust her judgment?

She wanted to be saved, and the last time that had happened, she'd wound up pregnant. The time before that? She'd wound up engaged to a man who'd wanted her to abandon her paralyzed mother to go party with him at college. So, what would it be with Chase? What more did she have to lose?

Her baby. He'd already said he'd go on record as the baby's father. That would give him all the power in the world when it came to her life.

There was a light knock at the bathroom door, making her jump. "Who is it?" Dumb question. There was only one person in the house besides her.

"It's me." Chase's deep voice rumbled through her, making goose bumps pop up on her skin.

Why did the blasted man have to affect her like that? "What do you want?" The glass door to the shower was fogged up, but not enough for privacy.

"We need to talk."

She almost laughed at his timing. "I'm in the shower."

"I know. Can I come in?" The door opened as he asked it, and she instinctively covered her breasts as she saw him step into the room. He was blurred from the steam on the shower door, but she could tell he was wearing only his jeans. His chest was bare, and she could see the shadows of his muscles and the breadth of his shoulders, even through the distortion of the fogged glass.

"Can't you wait until I get out?"

He leaned against the sink and folded his arms over his chest, facing the shower. "No."

"I'm naked."

"I know. I'm not blind." He held up something pink and blue. "You bought these?"

She couldn't tell what they were. "Chase, seriously, I'm not comfortable with you in here. Can you wait outside?"

"I spent half the night kissing every inch of your body. I made love to you three times, and I know what every part of you tastes like. I know every curve on your body. I know you have a scar on your left breast, and a freckle on the inside of your right thigh. I know you have a birthmark on your left butt cheek in the shape of a butterfly, and I know the sound you make when you have an orgasm, and how it changes depending on whether it's an orgasm from oral sex or making love. The feel of your naked body entwined with mine while we slept will be imprinted upon my mind forever, as will the color of your skin in the moonlight. Having me wait outside won't change any of that, no matter how much you wish it could, so yeah, I want to talk, and I want to talk now."

By the time he finished his little speech, her cheeks were hot, her skin was tingling, and her lower belly was clenched in memory of all the sensations he'd evoked in her last night. "Yes, we were naked last night, but this is different. You've never seen me in the shower—"

The shower door slid open before she could finish her sentence, and she found herself face-to-face with him. His blue gaze was intense, drilling into hers so deeply she felt like ducking behind a tree. He wasn't even looking at her body. Just her face. "Now I've seen you in the shower," he said. "We need to talk, Mira."

She wrinkled her nose at him. "You have no sense of personal space."

He didn't even acknowledge her point. "You can't leave."

She blinked, startled by his change in topic. "Leave where?"

"My house. You said you were moving out." He frowned. "You're not?"

"Oh, that, right." She cleared her throat, and gave up arguing with him about the shower. He was right. There wasn't any part of her left that he hadn't claimed last night, and he was clearly a man on a mission. "Go away." She grabbed the door and slid it shut.

He opened the door back up and held up what she now recognized as the baby socks she'd spontaneously picked up at the gift shop at the airport on her way to Wyoming.

Embarrassment flooded her cheeks. "It was just a whim."

"It's a baby." His gaze finally left her face and went to her belly. "You're carrying a baby, Mira."

Her hand instinctively went to her stomach, which was still in its ordinary, "a little too much chocolate" rounded state. "I know."

"Sex last night was great," he said. "I'm not going to deny that I'd move you into my bedroom in a split second if you'd do it."

Something inside her twisted, and she couldn't tell if it was stark, raving terror, or the deepest, most beautiful desire. "Chase—"

He held up his hand. "I know the arguments. I was just saying it like it is." He folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the sink, giving her the illusion of a little bit of personal space. "Here's the truth. I'm not going to lie and try to claim that I'm not attracted to you. I never let myself get a hard-on for a woman. I make sure it doesn't happen. But it's going on with you, and that's the way it is. But—" He again held his hand to silence her when she opened her mouth to protest. "I get that there are issues here. I've been obsessed with you for a decade. I'm not going to lie about that either, but I get your point that we've both been living in a fantasy land about each other."

Something tightened in her chest. A decade? He'd really thought about her for a decade? She didn't know what AJ had said about her, but she knew it wasn't glamorous. He'd seen her with dirt under her toenails and sweat stains under her arms hundreds of times. "Okay, so—"

He flipped the baby socks in his hand. "But what's reality is this kid, and the fact that he's got a grandfather who will abuse him if he gets his hands on him. You can't stop Alan alone. I can't stop him alone. But together, we have a chance."

She sighed. "So, we're back to where we started."

"No, we're not." He caught the socks, snatching them out of the air. "I spent the night making love to you. We're not back to where we started. We'll never be back there, and I don't want to be."

Suddenly, the water seemed too hard against her skin. Too hot. Her skin felt sensitive and on fire. "I do."

"No, you don't." He levered himself off the sink and walked over to her, stopping on the threshold to the shower. This time, his eyes burned over her body, searing her with the raw desire in his gaze. "It's complicated, but it's good."

She lifted her chin, letting the water run over her body, refusing to cower before him. "It's not good." At his raised eyebrows, she sighed. "Okay, it
was
good. Great. But—"

"They're two different things," he said. "Us, and the baby. For the baby, you need to stay here. For us..." He shrugged, his gaze boring into her. "We need to figure that out, but I'll never let what happens between us affect my commitment to making sure that kid wakes up every morning of his or her life feeling safe."

Her throat tightened at the passion in his voice. He meant every word. "Does that mean safe from you?"

He blinked, his brow furrowing. "What?"

She couldn't help blurting out the fear that had been gnawing at her since her conversation with Taylor. "What if you wind up being the bad guy, too? What if you're the baby's father on paper, and you wind up being the bad guy? Who protects us from you?"

He stared at her, and a cold, cold mask settled over his face. "You think that just because my father was an abusive drunk that I'll be that kind of father? You think I'd actually do something to hurt another living being? A
child
?"

At his words, a deep feeling of foreboding settled over her. "I didn't mean it like that—"

"No?" His voice was cool. "What did you mean, exactly?"

"I just meant that I've judged people incorrectly before. I believe in you, but how do I know I'm right? To give you parental rights to my child when I don't even know you is terrifying on any level. It has nothing to do with what kind of father you had, and everything to do with the fact that I don't know you."

He stared at her, and said nothing, and she began to realize that she'd just touched upon a nerve that was buried deep inside him.

"Chase." She shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, not even caring that she was naked anymore. "I grew up with AJ. His father is a terrible man, but AJ inherited none of his anger, his violent tendencies, or his lack of humanity. I know from personal experience that a person's parents don't define who they are. I
know
that, so please don't ever think I'm judging you based on that."

Again, he said nothing, but she felt the wall that was building between them.

Fear rippled through her, and she realized that he was slipping out of her grasp. Too late, she realized that she'd already begun to count on his support and his loyalty. Without him as backup, she was in a really precarious position. "Chase." She set her hands on his chest, and his muscles flexed beneath her palms. "Don't judge me based on your own past. I'm really scared right now, and struggling to make choices with my head, and not with my heart. My heart wants to trust you, but I don't know you that well. Please understand that."

He closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply. His skin was damp from the steam of the shower, making her fingers want to slide off his chest.

"Chase?"

He opened his eyes, and his gaze bore into her. "I'll have my lawyer draw up a contract that protects you from me. I'll pay for you to have another lawyer look it over. In the meantime, we need to get you a doctor in town. I'll ask around, and find out who's the best. We'll hold off on getting married until you're far enough along. That would be what, the third month? That's when things are usually pretty confirmed? In the meantime, you need to stay here and make the world believe that we're in love, having sex all the time, and I knocked you up. Sound good? Safe enough?"

Gone was his warmth and affection. She could practically see his shields going up between them. It was what she wanted, right? His protection but not risking her heart? But it felt terrible. She hated it. "I'm not the women who betrayed you so many times, Chase," she said softly. "I'm just me."

Something flickered in his eyes, and for a moment, she thought she saw the old Chase, the one who made her feel like the most cherished woman in the world. Then it was gone. "I know." He reached out and brushed his finger across her cheek. She went utterly still, her heart pounding in anticipation.

When he'd first walked into the bathroom, she wanted nothing more than for him to leave. Now, all she could think about was how much she wanted him to kiss her.

His gaze dropped to her lips, and she went still. Tension rose between them, thick and steamy, and her pulse quickened.
Kiss me, Chase. Don't give up on me.

She couldn't ask him to do it. She couldn't reach out. She was too scared. He needed to make the first move and bridge the gap between them, to hold them together while they battled through the scars they both carried.

His gaze met hers, and she saw decades of abuse in his eyes. Hurt, pain, suffering, and a fierce, indomitable will to survive and protect. "Chase?"

He sighed. "What the hell am I going to do with you?" His fingers slipped under her chin, and he bent his head to kiss her.

His lips were like velvety magic against hers, his kiss a seduction that swept through her like a sensual caress. She instinctively melted against him, needing the physical connection with him. She clasped her hands behind his neck as his arms locked around her, pulling her against him. Her breasts were flush against his bare chest, and her nipples hardened instantly at the sensation of his body against hers. They were both damp from the shower, and the wetness made her breasts slide over his chest as he backed her against the sink, deepening the kiss.

He lifted her onto the counter, cupping her buttocks as she wrapped her legs around his hips. Last night, making love to him had felt like a fantasy drifting through her life for one moment. This time, it felt different. This time, in the light of day, it was real. She felt almost desperate, as if she were trying to hang onto the first good thing that life had given her in such a long time.

His kiss was equally desperate, almost rough, as if he were driven by a need beyond what he could control. He cupped her breasts, pinching her nipple. Desire leapt through her, and she fumbled for the fly of his jeans. She didn't want foreplay. She didn't want to think that much. She just wanted him inside her, as if that would bind him to her.

He helped her with his zipper, and then freed himself. His jeans were still around his thighs as he pulled her onto his cock and thrust inside her. She gasped at the invasion, her whole body clenching at the feel of him inside her, filling her so completely. He drove deep and hard, holding her tightly to keep her from sliding on the granite counter. His kisses were relentless, intermixing with his thrusts to spiral her out of control, until she could barely even think. She was overwhelmed by the enormity of his being, and the strength of his body.

He moved one hand between her thighs, sweeping over her folds. "Come with me, Mira. Let it go."

The orgasm leapt through her so fast she screamed.

"That's my girl." He kept his hand between them, driving deeper and faster, taking her further and further over the edge, not letting up his assault, until her whole body was on fire with the orgasm that sucked her into its endless cycle of ecstasy.

She screamed again, digging her fingers into his shoulder, and then he came as well. He bucked against her, locking her tight against him as he drove so deep inside her that she felt like he would be a part of her forever. He buried his face in her hair, whispering her name over and over again as he came, his orgasm lasting as long as the ones that had taken her.