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Nigel paused. Hero shivered a little, moved closer to Michael. Even in retrospect these things kept the edge of horror. She looked at Nigel. His dispassionate, scientific admiration for the methods of a killer frightened her. His face seemed inhuman to her at this moment, like a clever machine in repose after a day’s work. She shook herself. This was a nice way to feel towards someone who had saved her life and Michael’s.

‘You haven’t answered my question yet,’ she said.

‘What? Oh, the diary? Yes, it was very difficult. I still hadn’t a vestige of material proof that Sims was the murderer. And Armstrong was beginning to tug pretty hard at the leash. I couldn’t give him any reasons that would be satisfactory to him for holding
Sims
. So I asked him to arrest you, just to keep him quiet, and to keep Sims quiet too, of course. The diary was an hypothesis; I determined to try and prove it. The trouble was, Sims might very well have realised that it was a luxury he couldn’t afford now, and burnt it. If he hadn’t, he’d be pretty sure to keep strict guard over it. Anyway, Griffin, young Stevens and I staged a fire-alarm. That got Sims and every one else out of the common room without arousing suspicion. The diary
was
there, in his locker. Half a minute at it, and I knew we had won.’ Nigel’s voice changed. ‘Poor devil. None of us can have the remotest idea of the agony it is to be despised and rejected of men; a cancer in the soul. And then madness; the feeling of there being a curtain, more invisible than gauze, stronger than iron, between oneself and one’s fellow men. To cry out of the abyss, and to know that there will be no answer, that one is buried alive.’

Hero whispered involuntarily. ‘So you are human, after all.’

Nigel started, and looked puzzled, ‘What on earth –’ he said slowly.

‘I think I understand,’ said Michael. Then, with seeming irrelevance, ‘Do you always leave your revolver under your pillow? Careless habit. You should break yourself of it.’

‘I see there is no getting past you,’ answered Nigel. ‘And for goodness’ sake don’t let this go past you. I should be ruined if Armstrong got to hear of it. He can’t understand how a detective of my calibre should
make
such an almighty gaffe as to announce in front of a murderer exactly where he keeps a revolver –’

‘What’s this?’ asked Hero. ‘Was it your revolver he shot himself with?’

‘Yes. I can tell you, Armstrong is pretty sore about that. He’d be a damn sight sorer if he knew–oh well, I’d better explain. Armstrong imagines that Sims noticed his diary was missing, knew everything was up, and took advantage of my alleged carelessness with firearms to stage a grand finale. Actually it wasn’t as simple as that. I’m not so tired of life yet as to leave my revolver about in reach of murderers. And Sims did not miss his diary till I told him I’d read it; I placed a notebook of the same pattern in his locker, when I took the diary, and he hadn’t had time to discover the substitution. I had no intention of letting him get away with suicide then, not till I read the diary; then – well – my views changed. I knew he would not be hung with that evidence before a judge; he’d be sent to Broadmoor. And I simply have no use for keeping lunatics alive, criminal or otherwise. So I had a chat with Sims; told him it was all up, and where I kept my revolver –
not
under my pillow, I may say – and left him to it. He – no, I think I will not describe the interview in detail. Anyway, I took everyone off to reconstruct the first crime. That was really for my own satisfaction. I wanted to prove that he could have moved to the haystack and back during the race without being noticed, and – er – I like a little exhibition now and then. I intended, of course, to
play
the part of the murderer myself. You can imagine it shook me up all right when I saw, just before we kicked off, that Sims himself had turned up. I’d only left one shot in the revolver. But it looked as if he might propose to fire it into the wrong person. I was just on the point of jumping on him when it occurred to me that what he had come for was not my life but a triumphal exit. It was rather rash of me, I suppose, but I staked on my knowledge of his mental processes, and luckily I was right. We went ahead; Sims reenacted his own part, and had his crowded hour of glorious life, and here we all are.’

‘Well, you’ve certainly got a nerve,’ said Michael.

‘I don’t know how we begin to thank you,’ Hero said gently.

‘A fresh pot of tea would be quite a good start.’

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Version 1.0

Epub ISBN 9781446476017

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Published by Vintage 2012

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Copyright © Nicholas Blake 1935

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

First published in Great Britain in 1935 by Collins (The Crime Club)

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