A Pretty Pill (8 page)

...
From April Onwards...

Ben.

Mum is responding well to the Xeloda she’s been on.  It’s a 21 day cycle thing, in which she has two weeks of bi-daily doses and then she has nothing for a week.  She has just finished her fourth cycle, and she’ll be seeing her Oncologist this week to have tests done to see if she’ll continue on with the next two cycles.  This drug is kind of toxic, but I’m told all chemotherapy is; and so Mum has experienced some nausea and weight loss due to the toxic effects of the drug.  She assures me it is worth it though; she wants to buy some time; I asked her why when it makes her feel so ill, and she told me it was for selfish reasons, so she could spend some quality time with me, since we’ve been apart for so long; so while she is doing what she wants, I’ll be her advocate.

But then, s
he had the audacity to turn around and suggest that I need to look after myself better!  That she wants me to begin doing something for myself again, since I have been pretty much stuck to her side 24/7, ever since I got here.  Some things just don’t make sense to me.  I suppose she wants things to be like before I grew up; and then she can pretend that she’s looking after me... and being a mum.

I keep telling her that the point of coming back
was to be with her... to actually be with her; but she says that she doesn’t want me to go to ‘mush.’ 

Now
, that kind of hurt that she thought I was looking like I had gone to pasture, so I have decided to join a local gym that a friend of mine from my high school days runs.  He’s determined to get me to hang with him again anyway, and Paul’s one of the few friends I can still count on from back in the day! 

Mum rests in the afternoons, so I have decided to go to the gym
at the times that she rests.

Jade.

After the Christmas break, Silas was able to go back to work
; and not his boss, nor anyone there were aware he’d had another breakdown.  The shift across to the Sodium Valproate has been a heaven sent change.  I call these pills pretty pills.  I actually started calling them pretty purple pills, but it got shortened to pretty pills.

‘Have you had
those pretty pills Silas?’
I ask him, morning and night.

I don’t know who this new Silas is
, but I really like him and I don’t mind having him around.  He goes to work, goes to the PCYC, and comes home.  On the days where I do morning shift, I either cook dinner or offer to go out with him... he likes to go out; which means we get on our bikes and head into town.

On the evenings when I am on, I tend to find a basic cooked meal awaiting me, or some take out
when I get home.

He’s even managed to find himself a girl
, who spends nights here on the weekends, with him!  Ugh... I’m just glad they’re quiet.  And I can completely understand why he lost his shit over Shae Leveritt, because she’s simply beautiful!  And apparently she wasn’t so determined not to ever date him after all.  I guess a million years isn’t actually that long.

My inheritance came through after my birthday, and we’re deciding on where it is we want to live
. The money is sitting heavy in my bank account at the moment and despite the fact that I like the look of it there, I do need to make some wise investments with it as well.  We need to move out of the house we’ve been renting for the last five years. I’d like to buy a house for us, but essentially it will be my house, not Silas’.  This is after all my half of the inheritance, I won’t get another bout when Silas gets his cut, after he turns 25.  I need to be careful with what I do with it.  I therefore want to be happy with the house based on my own agenda and criteria.  I’ll make my decisions regarding the right place for me, somewhere down the track... to be certain I’ve made the right choice!

Rachel... damn... Rachel left for Far North Queensland.  I hardly ever hear from her; and I never see her.  She may as well be a world away
. Bitch... I miss her.  There’s only so much emotional support you can get through email and facebook.

As for the dating?  Total fucking disaster!  I’ve managed three dates, and they were all the same.  The moment they realised they weren’t actually going to get laid on that date, they were out of there.  I’d even discussed my brother with them before meeting them, and they were all like... ‘no problem!’

No fucking problem? 
I call bullshit!  I fucking call bullshit!
  They were after one thing and one thing only!  No connection, no understanding, not there for me... only there for their cocks.  Of course there was no problem, because they weren’t planning on sticking around that long.

I fucking hate men like that!

But right now, it’s a
Monday, and I just finished my morning shift, so I’m off to the gym. 

Since I finish at 3:3
0pm when I do morning shift, I go to the gym for an hour afterwards.  Silas doesn’t finish work till 4:00pm, so by the time I finish here; we’ll both be home around the same time, before he goes back out to do his thing.  On the days I do afternoon shift, I come in the morning for an hour.  I’ve been doing this since February, to build up my core strength and feel like a 25 year old should again.

The gym is small, which is why I like it
; it’s also pretty old school, and a lot of the clientele are your average type of resident for this area... not shiny and posh, which of course appeals to me immensely.  In addition, I get on pretty well with the guy that runs this place too.  He sorted out a personal workout regime for me, and often comes over to talk to me when it’s quiet.  He’s nice, but he’s married; and he might be a bit of a flirt, but he’s not gone there, thank God! I don’t want to be in a three way relationship... that will never happen again!

I still feel guilty about the Graeme and Scott thing
;
I wonder whatever happened to them?

But Paul
’s good value, because if I get hassled by any guy, and I get riled up... he doesn’t get mad at me for putting them in their place.  He’ll just stand back watching me tear strips off the arsehole, with his arms folded, and then ask them to leave if they aren’t members.  If they are members, he’ll ask them to reconsider their actions before approaching me again.  He’s like my personal bouncer when it looks like the shit is gonna get ugly.

I’m heading out of the women’s locker room and walking towards the cardio section; p
lacing the buds of my iPod in my ears; when I’m shoulder barged by someone walking out of the men’s locker room.

The action sees me punch myself in the side of the head.

“Watch it!” I
demand.

“Sorry!” the guy says, rushing toward the cardio room.  He doesn’t seem sorry at all!  Another arsehole
. I huff, before continuing on my way to the cardio machines.

Arsehole is
in there, already punching his speed in on the treadmill.  Unfortunately there are two treadmills, so despite my irritation at the arsehole for barging into me, I can’t get angry at him for taking the machine I prefer, just because it isn’t stuck in the corner. I just have to get on with my scheduled workout.

I hop on
the other treadmill and begin my five minute warm up jog.  I look up intermittently, and the arsehole is staring at me while he’s sweating it out on his treadmill.  He grins, but all I do is raise my eyebrows and look back down.  He may be a damn fine looking guy, with his short, light brown hair and steel grey eyes; muscles pumping and incredible six pack covering a slim tapered torso and hips; cheeky grin with dimples; and height greater than mine by a couple of inches, but he’s a shoulder barging arsehole!  I suppose he has a picture of his cock on his laptop waiting to be emailed to his next willing victim...
I wonder what that one looks like!  I smirk.

And
then I remind myself that I’ve decided that I’m still not past the
‘Jade looks after Silas not herself’
barrier to continue trying to put myself out there.

Ben.

Damn
, I didn’t get a good look at her when I accidentally barged into her; even when I turned and said sorry, because I’m on limited time here. I have to get back to my Mum before she gets up and needs me.  But this woman is gorgeous!

So totally not what I
would normally go for, and I mean far from it... but she’s absolutely beautiful regardless!

I’m checking off her assets against my normal criteria as I stare over towards her jogging
, and there’s actually hardly anything the same.

Height... she’s half a foot too high; she’s nearly as tall as me!

Build... I like a bit of softness, she’s a bit more athletic than I would normally go for, and slim.  She’s not skinny; but I can see that she could be if she was that way inclined.

Breasts... I like them big; nope she’s not big
, they’re barely bouncing.

Hair... Yep, definitely has the hair right... long and thick
. Actually hers is very long!  That pony goes forever!  And it’s an auburn shade of red... Mmm, nice!

Face... This is where she scores every point known to man!  Green eyes, flawless skin
with a few adorable freckles, strong profile, and full lips.  Even the scowl she’s giving me right now for staring at her is gorgeous.

Still, she’s not really my type physically
.

She finishes her jogging warm up and heads out to the weight room to do some weights
, I’ll be out there in ten minutes, so I’ll check her out again then.

“Eyes forward, Ben!”  Paul chuckles.

“Why’s that?” I puff; I’m running now.

“She’ll tear you apart!  I’ve seen it before!” he says smiling.

“Oh yeah?” I ask. Oh, a challenge!  She’s just jumped to the top of appealing for me, despite her physical deficits.  I absolutely love a challenge, because in my world of women, or ‘groupies,’ that hang around waiting for guys like me that do UFC or MMA to show them a good time; are constantly throwing themselves your way when you flex a bit of muscle.  I’m not being conceited, it’s the truth!  Most of the guys I know like that worshiping attention from those chicks. I don’t mind it if I’m after a fuck, but otherwise, I’m not into it at all!

“Yeah... she’s got balls; despite the pretty face!” he warns.

“What’s her name?  Do you know if she’s single?” I ask.

“Jade.” He moans
. “I’m not sure if she’s single, but from all appearances she is!  And don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

Jade.

I’m doing tricep extensions when he walks over and introduces himself.

“Hi, I’m Ben... I’m really sorry that I barged into you before... can I make it up to you in any way... take you for a coffee after you finish?” He asks, offering a big dimply smile across his handsome face.  Jade from six years ago is drooling and playing all coy; this Jade is looking at him like he just told me he has herpes.

“Ben, is it?”
I ask pulling one of the buds out from my ear so I can hear properly; he nods.

I look at him for a short while, he stands there watching me assess him; he’s... is he flexing?  Oh my God
, he’s flexing so I can see his, albeit impressive, muscles! I grunt my disapproval.

“I don’t drink coffee with Neanderthals... I’m sorry if I appear to be rude, but I am... rude!” I explain and give him my best
discourteous expression.

“Okay... but you don’t know what you’re turning down!” he laughs
, relaxing his stance, and leaning towards me in a suggestive fashion.

I struggle not to go ape-shit crazy
, because things have been pretty good lately.  But I’ve been given this spiel before; I know what guys are generally thinking, I can see what this Ben is thinking. I live with a guy; Silas is a guy, who at times has verbal diarrhoea and likes to tell me what some arsehole eye-fucking me is probably thinking; it does my head in.

“Oh... believe me... I really do!” I start, taking a deep breath and making my eyes as
big and expressive as I can manage; “Probably some amazing sweaty fuck in the dressing room, with me bent over the hand basin; followed by a request to suck your cock in the shower, so I can lick you clean of my taste and you can cum all over my tits... yep!  Believe me when I say, that I do know what I’m missing out on.” I drone sarcastically...
I mean come on... coffee?

“You get all that from coffee?” 
He asks with an intense smirk. “I must be drinking the wrong brand.”

“Switch brands...” I say flatly, referring to
women, not coffee...
find another woman to harass, arse-fuck
.

“That’s what I was doing.” He replies
smugly. 

So,
he understood my insinuation, I’m obviously not his normal brand of woman... typical!  Not dumb enough, big breasted enough, or got enough junk in my trunk.  He’d be sweet on Sandy!  Not that Sandy’s dumb; actually I think I just insulted my friend without even meaning to!