A Pretend Engagement (16 page)

" Er-no,' Varnie agreed, still feeling more than a degree stunned.

`Anyhow, I'vebeen wanting to shout it from the rooftops, but knew I couldn't tell anyone. And then,' he went bubbling on enthusiastically, `I thought that since I don't intend to come back, perhaps I should tell.Leon as early as possible so as to give him a chance to find my replacement. So...'

`Slow down, Johnny, slow down,' Varnie repeated, her head starting to spin. `You're saying you're not coming back to England? That you're-?" 'That's right. It's wonderful here,' he enthused. `Tina reckons I'll soon get a job, and-?"

'You're giving up your job here!' Varnie exclaimed.

`Well, I can't do it from here-and Tina is settled in her career,' he replied. `That's why I wanted to speak to Leon. Well, mainly to tell someone I'm getting married-someone who isn't family-but also to verbally hand in my resignation.'

`Johnny!' she exclaimed, hardly believing that after all he had said about his job with Leon-how desperate he had been to get it, how desperate he was to keep it, how it was the be all and end all of everything he had ever wanted just like that he was ready to give it up.

`What?' he wanted to know.

`You don't think you're being a little-er rash?" 'Oh, Varnie, please be pleased for me.'

She instantly felt guilty for putting the smallest damper on how he was feeling. `I'm sorry, love. Of course I'm pleased for you. But...'

`I know. It's all so sudden. But love is like that. It hits you like a ton of bricks and you just know-you don't have to think about it. It's just there, swamping you.' She knew all about that. `And driving you nuts...' He halted, and Varnie could hear his beaming smile when he sunnily suggested, `I'm going on again, right?"

'You're entitled,' she allowed, happy for this brother who hadd never sounded so happy.

`You'll come to our wedding, of course.You and Mum and Dad?'

He was getting married in Australia! `Don't you dare get married without us,' she warned.

`I won't,' he promised, and went on rapturously about his lovely Tina, sounding every bit as though he could not believe his good fortune that Tina should love him in return. `Mind you, she'll probably want to scalp me when I tell her that I've told a member of my family about us before her folks come home. But she'll understand when I explain that I rang hoping to speak to my ex-employer...'

'Er-what are you going to do about L-Leon Beaumont?' Varnie asked.

`Nothing now.He's so busy I could ring a dozen places before I catch up with him. I'll write to him. I'll write out my resignation and post it today,' Johnny decided, but it was obvious that Tina was more in his thoughts than anyone else. And, after saying how he could not wait to be married to her, he eventually rang off.

And Varnie sat there stunned. She was, of course, happy for her brother that he had found the girl of his dreams, and she knew that her parents would be delighted too. Now that their business was sold they would have no problem with regard to being free to attend his wedding either.

But, with Leon never very far from Varnie's thoughts, it suddenly struck her that she could have passed on the message to Leon that his assistant would not be returning after his Australian holiday. And it was that thought that triggered off a whole series of thoughts that were to occupy her for quite some tumultuous while. How could she, after all this while, now confess to Leon that she was John Metcalfe's sister? Leon would be furious with her-and she did not want that. He need never know,tempted a small voice she was inclined to listen to.

Suddenly then a whole hundredweight of implications crashed down on her. To tell Leon the truth-that she and Johnny were related by their parents' marriage-would mean telling Leon not just that but, if she were to make a clean breast of it, it would mean telling him the whole truth. That he was-her lodger!

No, she couldn't. How could she? While she rather thought Leon was less antagonistic with regard to women now than he had been, that still left the fact that he took favours from no one. He would be outraged were she to now confess that the woman who had been 'skivvying' for him, the woman he had allowed to cook and clean for him, actually owned the house he was living in. He would be infuriated that for the last two weeks-when he had been at his brutish worst-he had actually been beholden to her. He was a proud man. He...

Varnie shied away from telling him anything that might wound his pride, might make him angry with her. This last couple of days they had seemed to be getting on so well together. She did not want to change that. She did not want him going back to being the surly brute she had first known.

Then, all at once, as if someone had just thrown cold water over her, Varnie realised that she could leave. Leave without Leon being any the wiser! Suddenly it struck her that it no longer mattered that the wonderful job that Johnny had raved about might be in jeopardy because her hare-brained brother no longer wanted itWhen he had at one time so craved to keep that job-he now no longer wanted it. She, Varnie agitatedly saw, therefore had no reason to stay! She could leave at any time she chose, and Johnny would be none the worse for it.

Oh, no, she mourned. How could she leave? She loved Leon. She wanted to stay, wanted to be near to him. She was aware that soon, any day now, he himself would leave. He had already been away from London for two weeks.

True, he had been in constant touch with his office, but his `holiday' must soon be over.

Why should she be the one to go?she argued with herself. Just a few more days with him, just a little more time with this new, warmer Leon she was getting to know-was that too much to ask? Who would she be hurting if she stayed?No one. Johnny no longer had to be protected, and it was a certainty that Johnny would not be trying to get in touch with Leon by phone again.

Oh, Leon, Leon, she pondered-and then saw his car turn into the drive. She watched as he braked and parked his car on the drive.Watched as tall, dark, self- assured-and wonderful-he stepped from his car. And she knew then, as her heart seemed to skip abeat, that she loved him too much to go. To leave now would mean she would never see him again. Quite simply, while accepting the truth that when one of them eventually left she would never see him again, until that happened Varnie wanted more time with him.

She was in the kitchen when he came in. `Coffee?' she offered.

`Love one,' he accepted, and the phone rang.

Varnie tensed,Even while she felt sure Johnny had no reason to ring again, she felt herself go tense in case it was her brother on the line. She relaxed and busied herself with making coffee when, Leon having taken the call on the kitchen phone, it turned out to be a business call.

After coffee he spent some time in the study, but an hour or so later he came to find her. `Need any shopping?' he asked.

They could do with some fresh produce, but she was without her car. `You'll get it for me?' she queried-it was still pouring with rain, and even if it slowed to a drizzle she was going to return exceedingly damp should she walk to the nearest small shop.

'I'll come with you,' he volunteered. And she loved him. And she wanted to spend time with him. And anyway, shedefended, it would do him good to get away from that computer. `Now?' she accepted.

`Get your coat,' he replied.

Yesterday's jacket was soaked. She went upstairs and collected her ski jacket. `Needs must when the devil drives,' she told him when she joined him.

`Very fetching,' he murmured, and appeared to like what he saw. But she was determined to keep her feet on the ground, so assured herself it was all part of his charm.

But charmed she was. Just the simple act of purchasing groceries with Leon by her side seemed an adventure. Their hands touched as he handed her some bananas, and just that and she felt all wobbly inside.

Outwardly, however, she managed to appear calm and as if she was in no way affected by the good-looking man by her side. Because she had eaten a big breakfast she declined his offer of lunch out. `Unless you're starving,' she added as an afterthought.

`I'm sure you've got something spectacular in mind for dinner,' he replied.

She laughed. `I hope you won't turn your nose up at pork fillet with apricot stuffing?'

`As I said, spectacular,' he responded, and she so wanted to laugh again, and at the same time hold on to him, hold on to this moment, that it needed every scrap of will power to turn away.

She made a snack meal when they got back, which he ate with her in the kitchen. Leon chatted easily, and seemed to want to hear anything she had to say too, often asking her opinion.

Varnie felt flattered, and knew herself deeper and deeper in love with him the more she got to know him. And at times she felt so emotional about him she did not know how to bear it. She was glad when later that afternoon a couple of cars turned into the gates-her car, and the car whose driver would take the mechanic back to the garage. She headed for the door. Leon was there first.

`I'll see to it,' he insisted. And, needing to be by herself for a while, Varnie let him. He did not come to see her when the two men had driven off, but went to the study.

She did not see him again until dinner. She had been upstairs to tidy herself, and would have dearly liked to have changed into one of the smart dresses she had with her. But she had not forgotten that only two weeks ago he had been fed up with one woman `coming on to him', and by no means did Varnie wish to see him raise his eyebrows in a `What's this?' kind of expression when he saw her laying the table in her best frock.

She was the one to metaphorically raise her eyebrows, though, when, after she'd set Leon a place at the dining room table, he appeared in the kitchen with his place- setting in his hands. With the comment, `You've heard of Mohammed and that mountain,' he then laid a place for himself at the kitchen table.

Her lips twitched. She had previously refused to eat in the dining room with him. He had obviously decided that if she would not eat in the dining room with him, he would, in that case, eat in the kitchen with her. `Feel free,' she invited casually.Casually? She was a mess inside! `My car all right?' she enquired, and it amazed her that she could still sound so casual.

`They found a nail in your tyre.'

`A nail`?"

'You could have picked it up anywhere. Something smells good.'

It was a superb evening. Varnie lay in her bed that night and dreamily relived every wonderful moment. Shopping for bananas, lunchtime snack, apricot stuffing-even the insignificant was stored up and hoarded. She had no idea when Leon would leave-from what she had witnessed he could as easily set up office at Aldwyn House and work from there.

But that was just wishful thinking. If, like Johnny, Leon had decided to take the whole month away from his office, with luck-if she was very, very lucky-perhaps she would get to share another two weeks with him. She went to sleep hoping, oh, so much, that she would be that lucky. The rain had miraculously stopped when Varnie got up on Saturday and when daylight began to filter through the dark sky a weak ray of sunshine was in there with it somewhere.

It was after breakfast when, as if he had been cooped up for far too long, Leon suggested, `Let's walk.'

Varnie looked at him. `You usually go walking with your skiv ... housekeeper?' she asked, wondering what had got into her. For goodness' sake, she should be rushing for her hiking boots!

For answer Leon gave her a wry look. `You stopped being just my housekeeper on the day you asked me to marry you,' he said `Wouldn'tyou agree?'

Varnie opened her mouth to protest that she had never asked him to marry her. Then she closed it again when she supposed that to announce to virtually anyone who knew him that they were engaged amounted to much the same thing.

So she did the only thing left open to her. She grinned, waggled her eyebrows, and asked, `You said yes, of course?' Laughter lit his eyes. `Dream on,' he jeered, his laughter breaking, and when she just had to laugh too, and just as if he could not resist it, Leon stooped and planted a light kiss on the corner of her mouth.

Her knees felt ready to give way, but somehow she managed not to crumble, and, as he had ordered yesterday, `Get your coat,' she ordered.

That day was one of the best days of her life. And, if possible, she fell even deeper in love with Leon. They talked, they laughed,they walked, and were serious. Sometimes, when they were passing over rough ground, Leon would touch a hand to her elbow, guiding her. That she needed no guiding was neither here nor there; she loved the feel of his touch.

It was as she relived that day when she went to bed that night, though, that she began to grow anxious that Leon might have glimpsed how it was with her. She'd just die of mortification if he had.

When she got up the next morning it was to find her anxieties of the previous night were still with her. She lovedhim, that was true. But he did not want her love. Neither was he interested in her in any way other than perhaps as a companion while he was away from his home and friends. Come to think of it, he had once suggested that they be friends, but... Varnie started her day feeling uneasily that maybe she, purely in her love for him, had been too forward with Leon yesterday. And that, in turn, made her feel uncomfortable with him.