A Preacher's Passion (11 page)

Carla only half listened as Brianna went on and on about cheerleading. She loved her children immensely, and was especially close to her only daughter. Which is why she felt guilty at the relief she felt when they picked up Brianna’s friend and the two teenagers fell into their own private conversation.

Truthfully, Carla’s lack of interest in her children wasn’t the only thing making her feel guilty; it was the lack of interest in her husband and the ministry. She knew it was also wrong, but Carla felt truly alive for the first time in years. It wasn’t just the sex, which was mind blowing, it was how Lavon made her feel: young and playful, desirable and valued. Even as she thought this she could hear Stanley’s voice in her ear, full of respect, admiration, and compliments. But it wasn’t the same. Stanley always seemed to come from an intellectual standpoint, where Lavon came from his heart. His magnetism was palpable, his appetite matched her own. Both she and Lavon knew they were playing with fire, felt their feelings for each other deepening. But neither was willing to give up what they had…each other.

Carla wanted desperately to talk with someone about what was going on—but who? She thought of her sister and just as quickly dismissed the thought. Carla had always been the wild child while her sister, Marlyne, was the goody two-shoes. Marlyne had probably not even looked at another man since being married, much less thought of being with one intimately. Of course, talking to anyone at her church was out of the question. She thought about Vivian, Tai, or one of the other women in Ladies First, the organization comprised of female ministers’ and preachers’ wives. Maybe Tai…

Carla dropped the girls off at the mall and told them she’d be back in a couple hours. She then drove down the street to a coffee shop, ordered a vanilla latte and some courage, and took out her cell phone. After a few pleasantries about their churches, children, and the SOS conference, Carla changed the subject.

“Well, girl, I need to tell you the real reason I called. I’m dealing with something and need an ear to hear, if you know what I’m saying. I know you can keep a confidence so…” Carla took a deep breath and dove in. “Tai, I’m seeing somebody.”

Tai remained silent as she digested what she’d heard. As soon as Carla had mentioned a “real reason for calling,” Tai had thought
affair
. She’d immediately assumed Stanley was the one cheating…but Carla?

“I—I didn’t plan for it to happen,” Carla said into the silence. “I know it’s wrong….”

“How long have you and Stanley been having problems?”

“About ten years. No, that’s not fair; we’re not having problems, I’m having them.”

Carla gave Tai a brief rundown of her decade-old marriage, making sure she gave Stanley the props he deserved. Carla also made sure Tai understood that she didn’t blame Stanley for her dissatisfaction in the marriage, that it was her issues, and her desires that were at fault.

“What are you going to do?” Tai asked.

“I don’t know. I know what I should do, what is the right thing to do. We tried to end it a while back but we couldn’t. Tai, it isn’t just sexual. I think I might be falling in love with this man.”

“Who is he, a member of your church?”

“No, thank God.” Carla dared not say more than that. It was already hard enough not to mention Tai’s church member’s name.

“Well, Carla, I can’t say your situation is one in which I can directly relate. Unfortunately, my experience is on the other side. I may have looked here or there, but King has been the only man for me since I was fifteen.

“I guess at the end of the day, the answer to your dilemma is in the question. Is what you want worth more than what you have?”

It was an excellent question. Carla had a lot: good man, nice home, wonderful family, and thriving ministry. The only thing missing from the picture perfect life was the part Lavon had helped her uncover. She had everything anyone would ever want in life, except herself.

“How is she, Doctor?”

“Better, she’s doing better. But she still has quite a journey ahead of her. The burns are healing nicely and the swelling from all the surgery is going down. This one’s a trooper, I’ll give her that. Not many would have survived such a horrific car accident, one that required being pried from a flipped-over car by the jaws of life.”

The nurse, Beth, walked around to the other side of the bed and changed the patient’s IV. It wasn’t protocol, but she’d become personally vested in this patient’s success. It was such an unusual story—a veritable Jane Doe with no identity, no family, no friends. The hospital staff had named her Mira, short for miracle, because that’s what she was. The patient cheated death with every heartbeat, defied the odds with every breath.

“Did you hear that, Mira?” the nurse asked. “You’re doing better.”

The patient, who had been partially comatose during her stay, stirred slightly. Her eyes moved but did not open.

The nurse smiled. Mira had heard.

Vivian lay on her poolside chaise, relishing some quiet time alone. The Montgomery clan’s schedule had been jam-packed since summer. Vivian looked forward to the holidays when both their family and the ministry adopted a decidedly light schedule.

Checking her watch, she saw there was another hour before her daughter, Elisia, came home from school. Derrick Jr. would be at least two hours. Their father was out of town and Vivian had no appointments. She was footloose and fancy free and although there was a myriad of things on her to-do list, doing absolutely nothing felt like the best possible choice.

The Montgomery backyard landscape provided a beautiful and quiet retreat. Tricolored bird-of-paradise mixed with pink camellias, blush red peonies, lavender crocus, and blue Japanese anemones to provide a symphony of color, nicely contrasted against the lush green grass. Along with the state-of-the-art barbeque grill, pool, and hot tub, a luscious waterfall from the mouth of a majestic lion head added to the aquatic tranquility. Vivian viewed the layout through partially closed eyes, her racing mind staving off the nap she desired.

She’d just turned on her side for a more comfortable sleeping position when the phone rang. It was her best friend, Tai.

“Hey, girl,” she said with a smile in her voice.

“Hey, back,” Tai responded. “What’s shakin’, bacon?”

“Would you believe nothing? And that I’d have it no other way?”

“No, I can’t see you doing nothing. But life’s been crazy, huh, girl?”

“That’s an understatement.”

Tai and Vivian usually talked at least once a week, but the women hadn’t shared an in-depth conversation since right after Derrick’s uncle died. That’s where Tai decided to start. “How’s Derrick doing?”

“He’s okay. One day at a time,” Vivian answered, sitting up and sliding into her sandals. She headed inside for a glass of sparkling water. “At least, he acts like he’s doing okay, though honestly, I’m not sure if he’s really processed it yet. His schedule has kept him busy and right now, that might be a blessing.”

“King and I are praying for you guys. How are you holding up?”

“You know I loved Uncle Charlie,” Vivian said. “We didn’t get to see him much these past couple years; that too is a burden on Derrick. Thank God we got there in time to say good-bye. Now I’m choosing to remember the good times, to celebrate his life. His home-going celebration was standing room only.” Vivian shared some of the details of the three-hour long tribute given to Derrick’s father’s brother. “We’ve all got to go,” she concluded. “Let’s hope all of our lives can be celebrated the way his was.”

“Speaking of life,” Vivian segued, “thanks for talking up somebody who’s better left forgotten.”

“Who?”

“Robin Cook.”

“Girl, stop! You saw her?”

“It’s old news now, happened more than a month ago. Uncle Charlie’s passing made me forget about it.” Vivian filled Tai in on Robin’s attempt to get into the church, and how their head security man, Greg, found a gun in Robin’s purse after denying her entry.

“A gun?” Tai repeated incredulously. “I don’t like this, Viv. Sounds like that woman has serious mental problems. I’ve felt funny ever since I heard she’d been in jail.”

“Crazy what a small world it is, that one of your members would know Robin.”

“They knew her mother actually, but yeah, we’ve got probably a couple dozen members with Georgia roots. But things happen for a reason. I don’t have to tell you to take care of yourself.”

Vivian agreed. “Fortunately, I’ve got help with that. Greg has put the security force on high alert. We even put a picture of her in the foyer’s bulletin area asking anyone who sees her to contact security immediately.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Hey, I believe in exposing the devil. No sense trying to keep this on the DL.”

Vivian and Tai discussed other topics before getting around to the holidays.

“I guess you guys will do the usual over at Mama Max’s, right?” Vivian asked, referring to Tai’s beloved mother-in-law. “And with both Michael and Princess home from college—”

“That will be an interesting homecoming,” Tai interrupted. “There are a few things I have to talk to Princess about, not the least of which is whoever she’s screwing in California. I don’t know why kids think we’re stuck on stupid. Something is going on with her and I need to know what.”

“Her moving out of the dorm without telling you can’t be easy to deal with,” Vivian said, knowing at least part of what was on Tai’s mind. “That has got to be one of the biggest challenges of parenting…letting go. And when kids turn eighteen, like it or not, you’ve got to do that. Trust that you’ve taught her right from wrong, a love for God, and the ability to make good decisions. And then more than trusting her, you’ve got to trust God.”

“Easy for you to say. Elisia is what, eleven?”

“Not so easy. Remember we’re dealing with an eighteen-year-old too, one who flew the coop shortly before Princess. And believe me, it’s affecting Derrick more than he is letting on that his son decided to move out of the house.” Suddenly, it pricked Vivian’s consciousness that Kelvin and Princess had moved at about the same time. She made a mental note to do some investigating, even as she chose not to say anything to Tai about her thoughts. There was no love lost between Tai and Kelvin’s mother; best to not give Tai any ammunition for suspicions or reason to trip out.

Instead she changed the subject. “We’ve invited Lavon and the Lees over for dinner next week. Derrick is really impressed with him and his broadcast production knowledge. Sounds like the series he’s producing for Stan and Carla is going to be excellent.”

The minute Vivian mentioned Lavon, followed by Stan and Carla, Tai’s intuition perked up.
Lavon…Carla…could Lavon be the man…?
Tai couldn’t fathom the two of them together. Lavon couldn’t hold a candle to suave Stanley in the looks department. Besides, she knew Lavon was seeing a Mount Zion member. No, it couldn’t be Lavon.

The conversation soon ended, but their thoughts did not. Vivian hoped there was nothing to the subtle anxiety she’d felt at both Kelvin and Princess being on their own, while Tai hoped she was right about Lavon and Carla being a total mismatch. In time, both ladies would find out that one’s first instinct was usually the right one.

Stanley, Carla, Lavon, and a few others sat around the church’s conference room table. They’d spent the afternoon viewing Lavon’s work on the Kingdom Keys series in preparation for the last segment taping, scheduled for the upcoming Sunday’s service. The excitement in the room was palpable. Everyone loved how the work had been produced and believed the series would be successful, both spiritually and financially.

In the almost two months since Lavon had worked with Logos Word Ministries, seven of the eight series topics had been taped: joy, peace, patience, kindness/gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and discipline, referred to in the Galatians scriptural passage as self-control. Stanley would speak on the last and what he felt most important topic on Sunday…love.

“If everyone could truly understand and practice this unconditional love God talks about, we’d have heaven right here, right now. There’s a reason why Jesus stated it as the greatest commandment—loving God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself.”

Carla looked down, not trusting her face to keep a neutral expression. She wondered how Stanley would feel about the unconditional love she’d been sharing with the man sitting on the other side of the table.

“You’re right about that, Pastor,” Lavon agreed. “But sometimes it seems there’s not enough love to go around.”

Knowing those words were meant for her, Carla kept her eyes on Stanley.

“Oh there’s enough,” Stanley replied. “There’s more than enough. We just have to open our hearts to it, get past our egos, insecurities, selfish motives, fears. The Spirit has shown me that if everyone could love unconditionally, there would be no need for other commandments or laws.” Stanley shared a few of the scriptures his last presentation would contain, his excitement about the topic building with each recitation. “That’s the answer,” he said, gently squeezing Carla’s hand as he concluded. “Love is all we need.”

Carla squeezed back, her eyes welling with tears. That she loved Stanley was not in question; she knew she would always love him. But she was no longer
in
love with him, and the acknowledgment saddened her. She was in love with another man, and what she thought would be a simple, two-month tryst was now complicated with feelings, heartstrings, and a desire to keep the ecstasy she’d found.
But he’ll be gone next week,
she thought as she disengaged her hand from Stanley’s and glanced across the table at Lavon.
And then, just maybe, I can put my heart back into this marriage.

Lavon watched Carla covertly. Sitting across the table from her, with her husband at the head of it, was agony. Three, maybe four more times together is all they had. His flight left for Kansas City on Monday morning and according to Carla, that would be the end of their relationship. But Lavon wasn’t ready to let her go.

He consciously shifted his focus away from his lover’s lips and back to what Dr. Lee was saying. And just in time, as Stanley was speaking to him.

“I really like what you’re doing with the intro,” Stanley was saying. “You’ve got the first lady looking good. Her personality provides a perfect beginning to each DVD. Let’s take a look at her footage, Lavon.”

Each DVD began with a shot of Carla, comfortably seated in the Lees’ sitting room. In the background was a vase of flowers and wholesome photos of the Lee family. Dressed to perfection, Carla greeted the viewer with humor and warmth:
Hello, you incredibly blessed child of God. I’m Pastor Carla Lee and I’d like to welcome you to the Logos Word family, by way of this DVD series. You are getting ready to unlock the wealth that is inside you, the hope of glory that is the Christ within. You will be transformed, renewed, and released into the greatness you possess. My husband, Dr. Stanley Lee, is here to give you the keys, darling, the keys to victorious living. His is an eight-key combination to your liberation, based on the nine fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians Five, verses twenty-two and twenty-three. So far we’ve discussed the keys of joy, peace, patience…. Oh yes, saints, that one was a doozy, wasn’t it? Lord, give us patience right now! This DVD presents key number five in the series
.
And now, let’s head over to Logos Word Interdenominational Church and hear the Word of God from the man of God—Dr. Stanley Lee.

Lavon had directed the shot to then dissolve into the church’s interior, where either the choir or a soloist performed a song relevant to the evening’s topic. Another creative segue led into Stanley’s teaching. At the end of the DVD, Pastors Stanley and Carla sat together, back in the Lees’ sitting room, where they thanked the viewer for watching. The DVD ended with information about the series, the ministry, and an announcement about the Sanctity of Sisterhood Summits, of which Carla was a primary speaker.

Ironically, it was the taping of these intros that had given Lavon and Carla the most access to each other. That they were filmed in the Lees’ home justified Lavon’s being there. Usually they occurred when Stanley was handling a myriad of pastoral duties. Since trying and failing miserably to end things a month ago, Lavon and Carla had been together almost every day. Instead of waning, their desire had increased. Adding to that was their genuine like of each other, and the discovery that they had more than sex in common. Their camaraderie was that of best friends.

Various accolades rang out around the table as the last of the six previously taped intros concluded. Everyone agreed that the intro, which had been Lavon’s idea, added a hominess to the series that nicely complemented Stanley’s more conservative and serious demeanor.

“Too bad we can’t keep you,” Stanley said to Lavon as the meeting concluded. “You’re definitely an expert at what you do.”

God forgive her but Carla was thinking that very thing in that very moment: Lavon was definitely an expert…at everything.