A Penny's Worth (The Cephas Bourdon Series) (37 page)

"Your dad told me you were too young to deal with all of this
—
"

"What!" I shouted in my rage.

"In the beginning
—
that night your dad forbid you from seeing me
—
he said you were too young to deal with the severity of the situation."

“I am not too young!” I shouted back, flailing my arms wildly around.

“Apparently,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. I let out a rather large sigh.

“Right
.
I'll quit shouting,” I acquiesced. We stood in silence for a few minutes. I thought about that night: the feel of Dominic's arm around my throat, the fear of being killed by a merciless tyrant. I closed my eyes, trying to erase the memories. What if he came back to kill me?

"What do we do?" I asked calmly, regaining my self
-
control.

“Nothing. You're safe. You go on with your life, and I'll go on with mine.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, noticing the fear in my own voice.

“I'll go find a job, probably with the government . . . after I lay low for a while. You'll go to college, meet some guy, get a job, have a normal life
—
”

“And I don't have any say in the matter?” I interrupted rudely. Cephas smirked.

“Yes, you do,” he answered back in the same smart tone. “You get to choose which college you go to, who you date
—
” He stopped talking and swallowed, looking out over the lake.

“So I'm never going to see you again?” I whispered. He wouldn't look at me. I could feel anger rising in my chest.

“Why did you do it?” he asked quietly, releasing me leaning back against the opposing wall. His body was tense
. I
t wasn’t often Cephas Bourdon was unsure of himself.

“Do what?”

“Risk your life to try to kill Dominic.”

I looked into his face, searching for his real thoughts. Of all the questions, this was the one he chose to ask?

"I have to know," he whispered.

“I wasn't about to let you die, or ruin your plan, just to save me,” I replied in a nonchalant tone.

“But you could have
died
,” he said emphatically, apparently confused.

“Yeah, well, he was going to tell you I didn't care about you because I offered to trade you for my dad.”

“You what? I'm slightly offended,” he refuted
.
I saw the left corner of his mouth inching upward into a smirk.

“Yeah, well, I figured y
ou could hold your own,
but if you're saying you couldn't, then I apologize,” I replied sarcastically. Attempting to resist the smile pulling at the edge of my mouth, I looked away from him.

“You're kind of sassy, you know,” he began, taking a step toward me.

“So I've heard,” I replied, turning my head to look at him. His eyes were a deep blue: there was mischief lurking behind the color. He stepped in closer and I took a step backward. He was getting very close to me. Dominic flashed through my mind. I could picture his arms fondling my abdomen just above my jeans. Cephas placed his hands on my waist and I released the breath I was holding. He stopped moving. As his hands tensed up, I relaxed a little
. H
e had noticed my change in attitude. Moving his hands quickly off of me, he took a step backward.

“I'm sorry,” he said hurriedly, flexing his fingers outward to relieve the tension. “I don't know what I was expecting. I'll just
—
I'll let you get back to your night.”

“No, don't leave,” I responded a little too quickly. “It's not you, I just
—
”

“Your dad was right. I need to leave
. Y
ou need time to get over what I did to you.”

“It wasn't what you did,
it was
—
”

“Please don't try to make me feel better,” he whispered, staring at the ground. He squinted, blinking away the water in his eyes.

“You're a sweet girl, and I'm . . . I'm a murderer.” His voice was cold and his eyes turned gray. He shifted to walk away and I instinctively reached out to take hold of his hand. He stopped and looked down at our clasped fingers. I looked up into his eyes: I saw pain and disbelief. He shifted his gaze down the alleyway, looking at nothing in particular. He looked back in my direction and held my eyes captive, staring searchingly into my face. His iris became a swirl of blue and green, softening with each second.

“I love you, Em,” he whispered, letting a tear slip down his defined cheek and over his rounded chin. “But I can't ruin your life anymore.” He paused, still watching me intently. “I can't ask you to love me.”

“You never did,” I answered. “I just fell in love with you.”

“You fell in love with Cephas,” he said coldly, forcing himself to maintain eye contact.

“What's in a name?” I asked whimsically
.
I always ended up joking when I didn't know what to say. Cephas rolled his eyes and spoke through grit
ted
teeth.

“Be serious, Em,” he implored.

“I am being serious,” I spoke softly. “I love you, and I won't let you leave me alone. I thought I was going to die and never see you again. Don't make me feel like that twice,” I muttered as the horror of losing Cephas washed over me.

“Em, if I stay, you're in danger.”

“If you go, I'm in danger. Who's going to protect me when Dominic comes back?”

“He won't come back.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I'm going to find him and kill him.”

“You couldn't kill him before,” I protested.

“That's because I still have a soul,” he said angrily. “I can't just kill people. I'm not a killer, Em! I'm not!”
H
e was shouting as he pulled his hand out of mine, balling them into fists at his sides.

“I know,” I said quietly, leaning my back against the cement wall.

“I'm sick of lying to you. I don't want to be an assassin anymore. I just want it all to be over,” he said calmly, breathing heavily.

“Isn't it all over? The money went to the wrong people, right? Isn't Dominic's business destroyed?” Cephas took a step toward me and held me by the arms. He let out a sigh.

“No. I mean, yes it did, but . . . Your mother is going to report the story, but I'm afraid it won't be enough. They won't be able to get to Dominic
—
not without my help. But if he knows I'm involved, he'll try to kill me
—
or you
—
or your family. I tried to convince your mom to stay out of it, but she's just doing what she knows best.”

“So they could be in danger?” I asked in disbelief. Just when I thought things were looking up, my mother was walking into a trap.

“What do we do.”

“
We
don't do anything. I leave and find Dominic.”

“I'm coming with you,” I said in the most authoritative voice I could muster.

“No, you're not,” he responded firmly.

“You said yourself I'm safest close to you,” I argued, trying to remove myself from his grasp. His grip tightened.

“I was wrong,” he said adamantly.

“But you're never wrong,” I replied, smiling sweetly up at him as I wrenched out of his hold.

“Emmaline, you don't even trust me
—
I can tell.” I stopped moving.

“I trust you,” I said determinedly. “It's just, when you get close to me, I think about
—
”

“Dominic,” he interrupted. He looked away from me, instant understanding and anger clouding his eyes
. H
is eyes refilled with self
-
loathing. I hated evoking that feeling inside of him.

“Em, I'm sorry I let him do that to you. I had to be convincing
.
I had to let him think he had control over the situation, or he never would have let his guard down. It was the only way to save you
and
salvage my plan.” His voice was dejected, as if he had failed. Standing awkwardly a foot away from me, he kept his hands fisted at his side.

“Yeah, well, you always did do stupid things when a damsel was in distress,” I replied, attempting to lighten his mind. I saw his hands release. He finally looked at me.

“How do I make it better?” he asked, half serious, half in jest.

“Do you still have your sexy car?” I asked, turning to walk out of the alley. Cephas followed me, jogging to keep up with my fast step.

“You think it's sexy, huh?” he asked, keeping up with me as I walked quickly along the wooden path.

“You could let me drive it,” I suggested, turning to face him. I had reached the end of the path and leaned against a large tree. Cephas laughed.

“How about I give you a ride,” he offered, raising his eyebrows at me.

“But driving that car is so euphoric!” I retorted, trying to restrain my excitement.

“So euphoria is what you're after?” he asked, the left corner of his mouth twitching upward. My eyes grew wide as he moved in closer to me.

“I don't know if
—
”

“Listen,” he whispered. “This is going to be different. Dominic was just using you . . . and so was I. But now . . .” He leaned forward, hesitating a few inches from my face. Our eyes locked and I watched in amazement as his eyes swirled into a turquoise color.

“I love you, Em,” he whispered. “I'll love you forever.” I closed my eyes and his lips met mine in a soft, warm touch. It was slow and patient, waiting for my encouragement. I allowed his mouth to work a dilatory trail along my lips. His kiss was so tender, quietly urging me to respond. After a moment I did respond, kissing him back with a part of the longing I held captive inside. He was quick to reciprocate and I felt pent up passion creeping through his restrained demeanor. His arm came around my waist and I tore my mouth away from his. He released me instantly, but maintained a close proximity. My breathing was erratic. I opened my eyes and looked up a little ways, looking over
Cephas’
body. His chest was moving up and down and I could see his muscles flexing beneath a loose, black cotton shirt. I watched his chest slow before raising my eyes to look at him. He looked concerned, holding back his abilities to protect my fragile emotions. He couldn't touch or kiss me. His eyes darted over my body, searching for a solution. He finally slipped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I smiled and let my arms slip up around his back. My head fell gently into his chest and I sighed contently.

“I'm sorry,” I muttered. I wished I could let him kiss me the way he wanted to, but Dominic was constantly flashing through my brain.

“Don’t ever apologize to me
. . .
please,” he muttered, his voice in agony. “I can’t stand it
. B
esides, hugs are good,” he mumbled in response, coddling his nose through my hair.

“You know what's better?” I asked.

“Hmm?” he muttered, placing his chin gently on top of my head.

“Driving your car,” I said, pushing myself away from his embrace.

He captured and turned me swiftly, holding my back against his chest. He laughed a little.

“Where do you want to go?” he whispered into my right ear.

“Where do you think?” I asked in feigned offense. “We're going to save my mom and dad. You have a plan, right?”

“Well, yes, but it doesn't include you,” he retorted.

“That was a stupid mistake, Bentley,” I scolded, smirking as I ducked under his arms. The name sounded odd as it rolled off of my tongue, but I supposed I should get used to calling him by his real name. He followed me around the tree.

“About that
—
I'm still kind of undercover, so you're going to have to call me Cephas for a while longer
—
Bentley doesn't technically exist anymore.”

“Good,” I replied, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I prefer Cephas.”

The left corner of his mouth twitched upward into a smirk.

“Why?” he asked, apparently amused. I shrugged my shoulders.

“I still don't know if you should come,” Cephas started, looking off into the distance.

“Oh, shut up,” I replied carelessly. “You know I'm going with you, so do you need me to drive while you edit your plan, or should I return your keys?”

His eyes widened as I dangled his keys in front of his face.

“How did you get those?” he asked, grinning in disbelief.

“I told you your focus is lost when you're around a damsel in distress,” I said playfully, eying him sideways.

“And how do I solve that problem?” he asked, quickly closing the space between us.

“You either get rid of me,” I offered, smiling sweetly, “or you stop distressing me,” I finished, spinning around the tree. I let out a small scream as he scooped me up into his arms. The left corner of his mouth twitched upward.