A Path Toward Love (16 page)

K
atherine didn't want to admit Aunt Letty was right about apologizing. Humbling herself might be biblical, but it would certainly hurt. The next day she braced herself as she scoured Birchwood Lodge for Mama and Papa. She could endure a blow to her pride to ensure peace, or at least a truce, between herself and her mother. It was the right thing to do. Wandering down the hallway near the main lounge, Katherine discovered them in Papa's cramped office pouring over the household accounts. Mama stood behind him at his desk, glancing over his shoulder.

A photograph of Papa proudly holding up a prize fish still hung on the pine-paneled wall beside an image of him as a young man toting a hunting rifle. Silver framed photographs of the family graced the desk crowded with papers, New York newspapers, magazines, and writing supplies needed by a businessman who brought his work wherever he went. All the things were in the same places as she remembered. Her parents glanced up and smiled.

“Do come in and have a seat.” Papa waved her toward a hard wooden chair on the other side of the desk. “Can we help you with something or did you come to visit for a while?” He closed his ledger and leaned back in his swivel chair, ready to pay attention.

Katherine swallowed her reluctance and forced herself to speak the necessary words. “I want to thank you both for forgiving me after I eloped with Charles. I knew you distrusted him. But I thought you didn't accept him because he wasn't of New York society and you didn't know his family.” Katherine gave a wry smile. “As it turns out, his father was a delightful gentleman who treated me as if I were a queen. Unfortunately, his son did not.” Her voice snagged over the last few words.

She paused and glanced from Papa to Mama. Mama's fleeting look of triumph was clear and expected.

But Papa's brows furrowed. He obviously found no satisfaction in having been right. She knew he'd feel only sympathy for her. “I'm so sorry, princess. I'd hoped—we both hoped— that we'd misjudged Charles. We wanted your happiness more than anything.”

Katherine nodded. “You and Mama saw through his facade to his true character. I didn't. His charm blinded me.” Sucking in a deep breath, she glanced from one parent to the other. “I'm very sorry I put you through so much anxiety and embarrassment. In the future I promise to act with far more caution.”

Light on his feet for a heavyset man, Papa rounded the desk and pulled Katherine into a tight embrace. “You know we forgave you years ago.”

“Yes, but I'd never apologized. I wanted you to know I'm terribly sorry, and I love you both with all my heart.”

Tears glistened in the corners of Mama's eyes, but she sniffed them back, reluctant to show sentimentality. “It's so gratifying to hear you admit your mistake. Now that you're a grown woman I hope you've learned that listening to us will keep you out of trouble. We'll never lead you astray.” She patted her daughter's hand.

Katherine forced a nod. Mama meant well, but would she try to lead her down the wrong road? This time she'd continue to pray for guidance and keep Him at the center of her life. Until she understood exactly what He had in mind, she wouldn't cross Mama. But if His will clashed with her mother's, then Katherine knew Whom she'd have to follow.

Mama squeezed her arm. “I can spot a scoundrel from miles away, even when you can't. I also know who's likely to bring you happiness. You can trust my judgment.”

Gulping down her objections, Katherine stepped back and stared at her mother's smug expression. A frisson of disappointment and self-doubt twirled around Katherine's spine. Maybe Mama was right; maybe her judgment hadn't improved over the years. Maybe she'd always make impulsive mistakes unless she heeded her mother's counsel.

Oh Lord, please guide me in a way I can't possibly misinterpret
. Her gaze shifted from Mama to Papa. She had listened to Mama long enough. “Please excuse me. I promised Aunt Letty I'd help sort through her old magazines today. She has so many.”

Mama rolled her eyes. “She keeps everything. You're doing her a great favor by helping her part with her paraphernalia.”

Heading toward the door, Katherine heard Mama's warning. “I want you to always remember this moment, Katherine— before you're tempted to act, do speak with me first. We can talk about it, and I'll help you in any way I can.”

Looking over her shoulder, Katherine mumbled, “Yes, of course, Mama. Thank you.”

But as she turned away, she couldn't quite imagine doing so.

Talking over a problem with her mother meant Mama did all the advising and Katherine did all the listening and agreeing.

She found Aunt Letty playing croquet with the Clarkes. When the game ended, Aunt Letty took her by the hand and led her down the covered walkway toward the kitchen building. “How would like to pick raspberries with me? I thought I'd ask Cook to bake a raspberry tart with whipped cream on top.”

“I'd be delighted. But what about throwing out your ancient magazines?”

The old lady shrugged. “Well, I'm not sure tossing them was such a good idea when there's nothing wrong with any of them except they're old. You might find the stories entertaining and get a real laugh from the out-of-date fashions.” She held out the enormous leg-of-mutton sleeve of her shirtwaist. “Like this, for instance. It hasn't been popular in ten years, but I still love the puffiness.”

“It might not be stylish, but the blouse looks lovely on you.”

Aunt Letty laughed until her eyes watered. “You're quite the diplomat, Katherine.”

“Nobody's ever called me diplomatic before. Mama often says I'm too outspoken and direct.”

Aunt Letty nodded. “Don't you buckle under Isabelle's weight when you think she's wrong. She believes she has a monopoly on insight and wisdom, but sometimes her wisdom is a bit self-serving.”

Katherine laughed. “I've noticed.”

Once at their cabin, they changed into their most serviceable frocks and pulled on boots and donned plain straw hats. They located tin pails in the kitchen and set off across the lawn toward the woods. Birds chirped in the thick tangle of bushes and skinny pines and white birch trees that reached high for the sun.

Katherine tilted her head. “I took your advice and I apologized to Mama and Papa this morning. It wasn't as hard as I expected. Of course they accepted it graciously. But Mama feels more convinced than ever that she knows best and I ought to follow wherever she leads. I was afraid she'd feel that way.”

Aunt Letty sighed. “You'll have to accept your mother as she is. I'm afraid she won't change, unless the Lord Himself works a transformation. Listen to what she says, but follow your own conscience.” Letty's sideways gaze perked with curiosity. “Tell me, how do you feel now that you've apologized? Relieved?”

“I do. I've felt guilty for all the grief and worry I caused them. It's not easy to admit blame, but now I think I can leave my mistake in the past.”

“Splendid. I'm so proud of you for not allowing your pride to stand in your way. It's hard to ask for forgiveness, but it's good for the soul, isn't it?”

Katherine smiled. “Yes, it is. I've learned a lesson. I'll ask for forgiveness when I should and I'll forgive those who've hurt me.” But the moment she spoke she realized her anger toward Charles and Harriet still burned like acid, and she had no charity in her heart for them. “I need to pardon others, but it's so very difficult. Will you pray for me?”

Her aunt nodded. “Indeed, I shall.”

Katherine and Aunt Letty walked for a quarter of a mile before they came across a narrow trail that forked to the right. They followed the trial until it ended at an open vista with a pond directly ahead. Spiky evergreens ringed it on three sides and gave off a balsam fragrance that reminded her of Christmas.

They stopped at the side of the path where some of the wild raspberry brambles shot up a few feet above their heads, though most were shorter than eye level. Aunt Letty drew a whistle from her pocket and blew it with one mighty breath. A flock of birds flapped their wings and leaped into the bright blue sky.

Katherine covered her ears until Aunt Letty tucked the whistle back in her skirt pocket.

“There. That should scare away any bears. They love raspberries too, you know.”

“It's been awhile since I've had to worry about bears. In Florida, it's the alligators.”

“Well, you won't find any of
those
around here, thankfully. All right, now, let's pick.” Aunt Letty gingerly pulled the small, round berries and plunked them into her pail.

Katherine pulled apart a red berry, examined it, and then popped it into her mouth. Before long her bucket held an abundance of red, purple, and black berries. The hot sunshine seeped through their long sleeves and high collars.

Aunt Letty put down her pail and smiled up at the sun. She tipped her hat back and let the golden rays heat her face. “This feels wonderful. I think I'll rest for a minute or two.”

Katherine finished filling hers to the brim. “We have enough for several pies. Should we go back now so you can rest at the cabin?”

“A grand idea. We'll be back in time for a brief nap before luncheon.” Aunt Letty cocked her head and wrapped her hand through the loop of Katherine's arm. “While we walk, would you mind if I ask you a personal question? If you think I'm far too nosy, I understand perfectly.”

“Go right ahead.” Buckets in hand, they headed back through the cool, shaded woods.

“All right then. When you mentioned it's hard to forgive some of the people who've caused you pain, I wondered if you meant Charles.”

Pausing, Katherine noticed the hum of insects and tree frogs took the edge off the quiet. “Yes, I most definitely meant Charles. And Harriet. She was his mistress.”

Aunt Letty's eyes widened with shock and then sympathy. “Oh, my dear, I'm truly sorry.” She pressed Katherine's hand.

“I'd like to tell you the story, if you don't mind listening.”

“If you feel it will help, go right ahead.”

Katherine briefly explained how she discovered Charles's infidelity through the letters between him and Harriet, and how her marriage had died long before Charles's passing. Unburdening herself seemed to lighten the weight she'd been carrying for far too long.

“No wonder you're sad, and if I might say so, a bit unforgiving. Am I wrong about that? Nurturing the pain is quite understandable, my dear. But as more time passes, you'll learn to forgive them. Let the bad memories fade. Don't let this keep you from future happiness. You'll be blessed with a second chance at love. I can feel it in my old, creaky bones.”

Katherine smiled, but doubted Aunt Letty's prediction. Who was set aside for her? Randy? She shook her head. Even if the Lord sent her another man to love, she probably wouldn't have the judgment to recognize him.
If that's in Your plan, Lord,
she prayed silently,
make it clear. Please make it
very
clear
.

Midafternoon the following day Katherine wrote a note to Stuart Osborne asking for news about her citrus groves. When she heard a rap on her cabin door, she cracked it open and Mama stepped over the threshold flashing a resolute smile. “Some of the ladies are out on the back veranda waiting to see you, dear. So do come, and bring your needlework or that pretty little hat you're fixing up.”

If she hesitated, Mama would pounce. She'd put her off as long as she could. But the possibility of an afternoon by herself was at least worth a try. “I'm sorry, Mama, but I was planning to take a short nap. I have a bit of a headache. I'd be awfully dull company until I feel better.” All of which was true, if slightly exaggerated.

“Nonsense, my dear. You mustn't indulge yourself. I have just the thing for headaches. I'll have Bridget get it for you.” She glanced around for the maid, who immediately emerged from the dressing room with a dress draped over her arm. “Bridget, go fetch my headache medicine. And be quick about it.”

The maid bobbed a curtsy and disappeared.

Mama scrutinized Katherine from top to bottom. “Surely you have a light-colored frock somewhere. Do put on something less drab. Honestly, you dress as if you're as old as Aunt Letty.” She marched to Katherine's wardrobe, scanned the meager assortment of tired dresses and plain, gored skirts. “Hmm. Not much to choose from, I see.”