A Night Without Stars (24 page)

in pieces.

XOXO

Angelique.

“Lola, what does that note mean? Who is Angelique? Is this for you? Is it about Travis? Lola? Lola, can you hear me?”

With Dad’s voice echoing dimly in my ears I sat down in the middle of the hallway and buried my face in my hands. The paper that must have been attached to my door and fallen off when I shoved it open in my rush to get to Dad’s room fluttered down beside me and landed facedown. I didn’t bother flipping it over. Every word was already imprinted into my mind. If I never saw Angelique’s delicate, looping handwriting again it would be too soon.

She’d finally found me.

Did I ever truly believe she wouldn’t? Yes. Yes, with every day that passed I let myself feel a little bit safer. And now Travis was paying the price for my mistake because instead of taking me, instead of killing
me
, Angelique had done something far, far worse. She’d taken Travis. Sweet, kind, dependable Travis who’d already been traumatized by one drinker… and now thanks to me was at the mercy of another.

He’d never talked about what happened in the Livingston’s house that night two weeks ago, and he didn’t need to. The terrible cries he made in his sleep told me everything I needed to know. Horrible, gut-wrenching cries that sliced through me like a knife and left me awake for hours trying not to imagine the terror he’d suffered. Cries he never seemed to remember. Cries I never brought up. Not with him. Not with Dad. Not even with Maximus who knew probably more than anyone else what he’d suffered through.

I should have told him and Dad about the marks on my wrist and what they meant. I should have told them everything. Instead I’d put both of their lives by saying nothing and now Travis was paying the consequences for my selfishness.  

Pushing my hands into the carpet I rose unsteadily to my feet and leaned against the wall. Dad watched me uncertainly. “Lola, are you all right?”

No, I wasn’t all right and I wasn’t going to
be
all right until Travis was back where he belonged.
My fault
, I thought.
This is all my fault
.

Dad started asking me more questions. Who was Angelique? How did she know my name? Why would she want me to meet her? What was going on? Why would she kidnap Travis?

“Maximus,” I whispered.

Dad stopped talking and frowned. “What? What did you say?”

I looked at him. Inside my chest my heart was racing, but suddenly my head was as clear as it’d ever been and I knew exactly what I had to do. “We need Maximus.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Operation Rescue Travis

We couldn’t find Maximus. It seemed he, like Travis, had simply… disappeared. With Angelique’s imposed deadline of sunset counting down and with nothing else to do to occupy my time, I took my last cold shower and carefully picked out the outfit I was going to die in.

I had no illusions I would be getting out of this alive. Angelique had made the mistake of letting me get away once. She didn’t strike me as the kind of girl who screwed up twice.

Once I was dressed I studied my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Forgoing my regular braid I’d pulled my hair up in a high ponytail. Diamond earrings (fake, of course) in the shape of skulls glinted at my ears and black liner framed my eyes. It was the first time I’d worn jewelry and makeup since the world came crashing down, but I figured if not now, then when? If I was going to march off towards my death like the proverbial lamb to the slaughter then at the very least I wanted to look badass doing it.

For clothes I’d picked a loose fitting black tank top and black leggings that cut off right below the knee. I wanted to be able to move easily. To kick and bite and yank Angelique’s hair out at the roots if the opportunity presented itself. If she expected me to roll over quietly she had another thing coming. Once Travis was safe I was going down swinging. There wasn’t going to be anything quiet about it.

I should have been trembling and crying. Instead I was filled with the oddest sense of calm. I knew what I had to do. I knew what was at stake. And I knew what the outcome would be.

Dad spent the entire day trying to change my mind. He yelled, pleaded, and when none of that worked finally threatened to ground me.

I looked up from the picnic table where I’d spread out our small arsenal of weapons and rolled my eyes. “Seriously? Dad, I’m going. Stop wasting your breath. You’re not going to change my mind.” I turned my attention back to the guns. Courtesy of Maximus I now knew what all of them were called, as well as how to load and shoot them. The knives I’d lined up side by side on the right were a little trickier. Since chances were I was just as likely to slice off my own thumb than stab Angelique I narrowed it down to two pistols instead.

A slight breeze ruffled my hair and I sighed, tilting my face up towards the clear blue sky. If I was going to face the dark I wanted to spend as much time in the light as I could, which was why I’d set up Operation Rescue Travis in the cookout area behind the elementary school.

Five picnic tables arranged in a half circle framed a dormant fire pit. Without a maintenance crew to tend it grass was beginning to grow up past the legs of the tables and over the rough cut stones that formed the pit. Soon it would be completely overgrown.

How many family cookouts had been held back here? How many children had devoured cheeseburgers and begged for more ketchup for their hotdogs? How many couples had sat side-by-side, sharing laughter and silly stories? It helped me to think of them as they’d been, not as they’d ended up: broken bodies with their necks gaping open and their limbs twisted.

Would they be forgotten, as Maximus’ parents had been? Would
I
be forgotten? The thought was unsettling enough to form a fissure in my wall of calm. I swallowed the fear that threatened to overwhelm me, pushing it down to somewhere deep inside where I couldn’t reach. 

“Lola, you can’t do this.” Dad sat down on the other side of the picnic table and absently began to fill up an empty magazine with bullets. “It’s insane. Going out at night is crazy. You know what those things can do. I don’t know why this Angelina would take Travis—”

“Angelique.”

“—but she’s clearly very dangerous.”

Talk about the understatement of the decade.

“Dad, I’m going with or without your approval. I know you don’t understand, but it’s something I have to do.”

“Then I’m going with you.”

I bobbled the gun I’d been loading and slammed it down on the table. “Absolutely not. Dad,
no
. You’ll only distract me. Travis isn’t your best friend. He’s mine. And besides, the note didn’t say anything about you.”

Dad rubbed his face with both hands. In the sunlight his skin had taken on a grayish pallor and there were bags under his eyes. He looked awful, but he hadn’t reached for a beer. Yet. “You’re a child, Lola. This isn’t your responsibility.”

“What if it was me?” I stared hard at the table.
My fault
, a little voice kept repeating inside my head.
This is all my fault.
“What if it had happened the other way around? What if Angelique had taken me instead and Travis was the one who had to come to my rescue?” I looked up. Met Dad’s wide-eyed, watery gaze. “Would you stop him?”

Dad looked away first. “I thought we were safe,” he muttered. “We were so careful every night. I don’t know how they found us. I don’t know why they’re doing this.”

The guilt threatened to overwhelm me. Dad assumed – and I continued to let him do so – that Angelique had picked us at random. That she’d figured out my name by going through our apartment.

I wasn’t ready to admit what I’d done. My sacrifice would be my admission, and I could only hope Travis and Dad would be able to forgive me someday. For lying to them. For leaving them. For risking their lives every day I didn’t tell them the truth and show them the scars on my hand.

I wasn’t a martyr. I didn’t
want
to die. But I also didn’t want to live in a world without my best friend, knowing I was the reason he was dead.

“It’s going to be dark soon.” I shaded my eyes against the sun. It sat heavily in the sky, preparing to make its final descent. “I should get going.”

The high school was in the middle of town. It was one of the oldest buildings on record in Revere, but recent renovations had given the ugly brick building a facelift. I hadn’t planned on stepping foot through the front doors – painted maroon in honor of the school’s colors – again until September, when I would have started my senior year of high school.

The irony of it didn’t escape me.

Dad stood up when I did. “Do you even have a plan?” he asked.

If showing up at school and offering myself to Angelique in exchange for Travis counted as a plan then yes, I had one. “Of course I do,” I scoffed. “I’m not stupid. Dad, it’s going to be fine. But if it’s not—”

“Lola…”

“If it’s not,” I said firmly, “you have to promise not to do anything crazy. Travis’ parents are dead. You’re all he has now. Promise you’ll take care of him. Promise,” I insisted when Dad looked away, his jaw clenched tight.

“I’ll do the best I can,” he mumbled at last. “But if you’re not back in an hour I’m coming to get you.”

“Dad—”

“Lola, I’m your father. It’s my job to protect you. I know I haven’t been doing that for a while now, but it’s time I started.”

“Probably would have been better to start when there weren’t bloodthirsty drinkers involved.”

“Probably.”

We smiled hesitantly at each other, neither of us certain what to do next. Did we hug? High five? Kiss each other on the cheek? What was the best way to say goodbye to someone you knew you were never going to see again?

In the end we hugged. It was nearly as awkward as the last time we’d tried it, but I knew the next time would be better. Except there probably wasn’t going to be a next time.

For the first time since I’d read Angelique’s note I felt the burn of tears at the back of my eyelids. I blinked them away, took a deep breath, and after a quick scan of the table picked the smallest, handiest gun.

It slid easily into the canvas holster I had attached to my hip. The weight of it anchored me, filling me with a renewed sense of confidence. Angelique may have held all the cards, but I wasn’t helpless. Thanks to Maximus I could now defend myself with something far more deadly than a horseshoe.

The bitch wouldn’t know what hit her.

For a moment, I entertained the idea of survival. What if I could save Travis without dying in the process? What if I could kill Angelique? What if… no. I gave myself a mental slap upside the head. With Travis’ life on the line I couldn’t afford ‘what ifs’. I knew what I had to do and if I didn’t like it, well, too bad for me. It was my fault I was in this predicament. My fault Travis was in danger. My fault Dad was on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

My fault, my fault, my fault.

I should have left them long ago. If I’d been stronger I would have. For Travis’ sake, I would be strong now.  

“Well,” I said with a feigned brightness I most definitely did not feel, “this is it, then.”

To my surprise Dad hugged me again. This embrace was tighter than the last, and I felt the dampness of his tears against my cheek.

“I love you,” he said hoarsely.

My eyes slid shut. Was he
trying
to make this as difficult as possible? For the past twelve months all I’d wanted was to hear those three little words. Now he’d finally said them, and I wished with everything inside of me that he hadn’t. “Dad, you have to let me go.”

He did so reluctantly and I stepped out of reach. “Stay in the hotel,” I ordered. “There are enough supplies to get you through another month without having to go into town. If Maximus comes back he’ll know what to do. If not… If not you and Travis should head for the mountains like we planned in the beginning. There has to be another way out that isn’t blocked off. And you have to stop drinking.” I hadn’t meant to say the last thing. It slipped out at the last second, but I didn’t regret it.  

Dad’s cheeks turned a dark, ruddy red. “Lola, I don’t—”

“You have to stop. For me, Dad. Stop for me.” I swallowed hard. “I love you too.”

All in all, I thought as I turned and walked away, it had been a pretty damn good farewell speech.

Maximus was waiting for me when I emerged from the cornfield. At least, that’s what it seemed like. He fell in step beside me, matching me stride for stride while his piercing gray eyes studied me from head to toe, missing nothing.

“Where are you going, Lola?”

I pressed my lips tightly together and remained silent. When I’d first read Angelique’s note my mind had jumped to Maximus, but the more I thought about it the more I realized he would never let me go after Travis. Part of me had been hoping I wouldn’t see him… but another part, a bigger part, was overjoyed that I had. Still, I wasn’t going to let him talk me out of doing what needed to be done.

“Go away,” I said shortly.

His response was to simply grab my arm. When I tried to twist away he spun me to face him, his hands shifting up to rest on my shoulders. My bare skin burned where he touched me, but the sensation wasn’t painful. It was exhilarating.

“And why are you carrying a gun?” he said, his tone deceptively casual, as though he were asking why I’d decided to wear a black tank top.

I jerked my chin up and glared, not trusting myself to speak.

His fingers tightened, pressing down against bone. “Lola, either tell me what has happened or so help me I will put you over my shoulder and—”

“Travis is gone. Angelique took him.”

Of all the things he’d been expecting me to say, I could tell it wasn’t that. For the first time I saw genuine shock flicker across his face, followed by a seething anger so deep I actually felt a stirring of pity for Angelique. His hands fell away and he turned to the side, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.