A New Day (29 page)

When he walked into the farm there wasn’t a soul around, and remembering the street parties he’d seen on his way here, he dumped his bag and walked to the village.

The party was in full swing, and he just stood there for a while, taking in the scene. There was a long table down the middle of the road, full of sandwiches and cakes, obviously provided by the entire village. It took a few moments to locate Hanna, and he smiled when he saw her with Beth. They were both laughing and trying to control some of the excited children.

Suddenly Hanna turned as if sensing him there, and started waving, grabbing hold of Beth’s arm. Both of them came towards him and he hugged Hanna and then Beth, delighted to be home with them and able to celebrate the end of the war in Europe. ‘Ah, it’s good to see you both, and enjoying yourselves.’

‘Welcome home, Jack,’ Hanna laughed. ‘You’re just in time to give us a hand. This party is turning out to be hard work.’

‘Jack!’ The boys had spotted him at last and came tearing towards him, broad grins on their faces, and hands covered in jam.

He dodged behind his sister and Beth, pretending that he needed their protection from the onslaught. ‘Hold it, boys!’ he cried in mock terror. ‘You’re too big now for me to take you both on at once.’

‘No we’re not!’ Screaming with laughter they began to try and get to him, causing everyone in the street to stop and watch to see what all the fun was about.

Jack took off, dodging round the tables, with the twins in hot pursuit.

Hanna watched and felt a tear of pure relief running down her cheek. She swiped it away. This was no time for tears, but it was such a relief to know that at last Jack would be safe in the profession he had chosen for himself. The next time he sailed away there wouldn’t be U-boats stalking his ship any more.

‘It’s been a worrying time for you, hasn’t it?’ Beth said, noticing the moisture in Hanna’s eyes.

She nodded. ‘I was terrified for him, and struggled all through the war not to show it. We could so easily have lost him, and nearly did at least once. I expect there were many other times he never mentioned, but when war came he was determined to stay in the merchant navy, and I respected that. Over these desperate years I’ve watched him grow into a fine man.’

‘Yes, he has.’ Beth smiled at Hanna. ‘But I think we had better go and rescue him. He’s got at least a dozen kids after him now.’

The village celebration had been a huge success and enjoyed by all, and later that evening they sat around the kitchen table, exhausted.

Beth had come back with them, and Hanna felt a wonderful sense of contentment, thinking that all she needed now was Alan here as well, and her happiness would be complete.

‘Nothing for you again, Hanna.’ The elderly postman smiled apologetically. ‘Your young man is probably on his way home and hasn’t had time to write. There are thousands of troops all over the place, and it will take some time to get them all home.’

‘Of course.’ She nodded as she took a letter for Jane from him, knowing he was trying to be comforting. ‘Thanks, Fred.’

Hanna found Jane in the kitchen talking to Mildred. All through the war they had all lived together at the farm as one family, supporting each other through the rough times of the long war. Now, four weeks on, they were each looking to the future. Hanna knew that Jane wanted to go back to London, but was reluctant to take the boys out of their school where they were happy. Jack’s future was clear to him: the merchant navy. Even after all he had gone through over the last few years, his enthusiasm and love of the sea had not diminished one little bit. In fact he was now going to start studying, and hopefully work his way up to becoming an officer one day. He had also found a lovely girl, who seemed to understand that the sea was his life, and he was obviously more than fond of her. It looked as if Beth felt the same about Jack, and Hanna couldn’t be more pleased for both of them. Her future was with Alan, but this long delay in hearing from him was unsettling. It just wasn’t like him, and she knew letters were coming through from Germany because Pat and Jean were getting them without much delay. So why hadn’t she heard from Alan?

‘Letter for you.’ She handed it to Jane and sat down at the kitchen table, checking there was hot tea in the pot, and pouring herself a cup.

‘Thanks.’ Jane noted Hanna’s empty hands after she took the letter from her. ‘Wasn’t there anything for you?’

‘Not today.’ Hanna smiled and stood up, not wanting to show her concern. She was probably worrying over nothing. It must be chaotic in Europe at this time, and it wouldn’t be surprising if Alan didn’t have the time to write at the moment. ‘I’ll go and see if Pat and Jean need any help.’

‘Sit down, Hanna,’ Jane ordered gently. ‘I’ve come to know you quite well over the years, and I count you as a friend, so won’t you tell me what’s bothering you? And don’t try to tell me that nothing is, because I won’t believe you. I know you well enough to understand that you try to keep your feelings to yourself, but you have a very expressive face.’

Hanna sighed and sat down again. ‘I haven’t heard from Alan, or his parents, for some time, and that isn’t like any of them. Mr and Mrs Rogers have written every week without fail, and you know I get loads of letters from Alan. Sometimes two or three at once, but I’ve had nothing for ages. I don’t like this silence, and I do admit that it is worrying me.’

‘It does seem strange, but give it a while longer, and if you don’t hear within the next couple of weeks then you had better go to London and see Alan’s parents.’ Jane smiled. ‘Try not to worry too much, Hanna. It’s probably just a glitch in the postal system.’

‘You’re right, of course, and I’m just being silly.’

‘You are never silly, Hanna.’

She gave a dry laugh. ‘I wish that were true. Now I’d better get on with some work.’

She found Pat on her own checking on the lambs. ‘Growing fast, aren’t they?’ she said, joining Pat in the field. ‘Where’s Jean?’

Pat beamed. ‘Her Bert came home last night so George told her she wouldn’t be needed today. He just walked in, and we didn’t even know he was on his way home.’

‘That’s wonderful news!’ Hanna felt a sense of relief sweep through her. That’s what Alan would do. She was worrying over nothing. ‘Your Charlie won’t be far behind then.’

‘Hope not.’ Pat sighed. ‘It will be so good to have them back. Any idea where Alan is?’

‘None at all,’ was all she said. ‘Will your husbands be happy to stay here?’

‘We talked it over with Bert last night, and he was all for us staying. There’s nothing in London for us and we love the cottages. We’ve never had such a nice place to live in before, and our kids think it’s paradise. Bert and Charlie are good mates and both lorry drivers, so Bert said they might get a couple of old lorries and do them up. He reckons there will be plenty of them for sale, and they should be able to find loads of work around here.’ Pat shoved her hands in her pockets and gazed at the field of sheep. ‘Bert and Charlie often talked about how they’d like to work for themselves. This could be their chance.’

‘That sounds exciting, Pat. I do hope it all works out for you.’

Pat nodded, her expression serious now. ‘You too, Hanna. We’ve all got to start picking up the pieces and look to the future. Been afraid to do that, haven’t we, not knowing if our men were going to survive. We’ve been lucky, when so many haven’t. It’s been a terrible waste of young lives.’

‘It certainly has, but we’ve got a lot to be grateful for,’ Hanna said in agreement. ‘Now, what’s your next job?’

‘Greenhouse, nipping out shoots on the tomato plants.’

‘Not my favourite job,’ Hanna grimaced. ‘But come on, it will get done quicker with the two of us.’

‘I was hoping you’d say that.’ Pat grinned, as they made their way towards the greenhouse.

Another two weeks went by and there was still no word from Alan or his parents. Now she was getting not only worried, but frightened as well. Something was going on and no one was telling her, and when she thought about that, anger began to mingle with her other emotions. All manner of reasons were running through her mind, and she didn’t like any of them.

‘What is it, Hanna?’ Pat sat beside her on the garden seat. ‘You look so unhappy, and that isn’t like you.’

‘I still haven’t heard from Alan or his parents,’ she blurted out. ‘I don’t understand it. If something has happened to him Mr and Mrs Rogers would surely have let me know straight away. And if he’s changed his mind about wanting to marry me, then he should have the decency to tell me, not leave me like this wondering what the hell is going on. I can’t go on like this, Pat. One minute I’m worried in case something has happened to him, and the next I’m angry he hasn’t had the courage to tell me he’s changed his mind about us. I’m not a weakling, Pat. I’ve had to deal with plenty of hard knocks in the past, and I’m sure there will be many more in the future.’

‘I’m sure Alan hasn’t changed his mind,’ Pat said firmly. ‘There must be another reason for this silence.’

‘I’m not so sure. The more I think about it, the more certain I feel that he might have met someone else.’ Hanna shook her head. ‘Such a lot has happened since we met, and the war has changed everyone. He could feel quite different about us now.’ She looked at Pat, her expression anguished. ‘It would break my heart, but I would understand. Whatever is going on, I’ve got to know!’

‘There’s only one way to find out, Hanna. Go to London and see Alan’s parents. You can’t keep torturing yourself like this.’

Hanna stood up quickly. ‘You’re right, and Jane has told me the same thing. I’ve been waiting and hoping it wouldn’t be necessary, but I’ve had enough. I’ll leave first thing in the morning.’

With Jane’s permission to stay in London for as long as necessary, Hanna caught an early train and went straight to Mr and Mrs Rogers’ house. Mr Rogers opened the door, and for a moment he just stared at her as if he didn’t know what to say. Her insides churned, he looked pale and had dark smudges under his eyes. Something was definitely wrong, and she wasn’t going to leave until she found out what it was.

When he didn’t speak, she said, ‘Hello, Mr Rogers, can I come in, please?’

‘Oh, yes.’ He stood back and let her step inside. ‘I wasn’t expecting you.’

Obviously
, she thought, walking straight into the front room. Mrs Rogers was there, and when her husband went and stood beside his wife, Hanna faced them. ‘I’ve come because I want to know why I haven’t heard from Alan or you since the war ended six weeks ago. If Alan has changed his mind about us then I expect him to tell me.’

‘Oh no, Hanna!’ Mrs Rogers stepped forward. ‘Alan’s loved you from the moment he saw you in Mrs Harcourt’s. That hasn’t changed.’

Hanna frowned at Mrs Rogers’ distress. ‘Then what is going on?’

‘Tell her,’ Alan’s mother said to her husband. ‘We shouldn’t have kept this from her. She has a right to know.’

He nodded and took hold of Hanna’s hands. ‘We didn’t want to worry you unnecessarily, and we – I – decided to wait until we had more definite news. I’m sorry, my dear, we should have told you as soon as the notification came through, but we kept waiting and hoping that it wouldn’t be necessary.’

Alan’s father was rambling and not telling her anything, so she said firmly, ‘Is Alan all right? I want to know now!’

‘We don’t know.’ Mr Rogers sighed deeply. ‘Three days after the war officially ended we received a telegram saying that Alan was missing. A couple of days after that we received a letter from his commanding officer. It seems that Alan went on a patrol with three other men the day the Germans surrendered, and none of them have been seen since. We were hoping desperately that he would turn up quite quickly.’

‘But he hasn’t.’ Hanna’s voice was shaking with unshed tears. ‘You should have told me.’

‘I know, and I’m sorry, my dear, but you’ve had such a lot of worry with your brother. Your life hasn’t been easy and I didn’t want to add to your concerns if we didn’t have to.’

‘And you think leaving me to imagine all sorts of things was a better idea?’ She shook her head in disbelief, anger burning through her grief. ‘The fact that I grew up without a family has nothing to do with this! Thousands of people in this war have had to deal with distressing losses, some more than others, and like them, I deal with what life throws at me in the best way I can. I would much rather have the facts, and then I know what I’m facing. I’ve learnt to swing with the blows, and so has Jack. You had no right to leave me floundering like this!’

‘We know that now, and I do believe you are stronger than we are.’ Mrs Rogers came and hugged her. ‘Please don’t be angry with us, Hanna. We were only trying to protect you, and that was wrong of us. The war is over and our boy is missing, and we just haven’t been thinking straight.’

As the anger drained away, Hanna took a deep breath, all too aware that this was their only child they were talking about. They must also be devastated that this had happened, and right at the end of the fighting too. ‘I’m not angry with you now,’ she said quietly. ‘I understand that you were only doing what you thought was right.’

‘But it wasn’t, was it?’ Mr Rogers looked contrite.

‘No.’ Hanna shook her head, struggling to keep her grief at bay. ‘But what’s done is done. We can’t change that so let’s put it behind us. I’ve already forgotten it.’

‘Thank you, Hanna,’ Alan’s parents said together.

‘Sit down, my dear, and I’ll make us a nice cup of tea. I’m sure we all need one, and a bite to eat, because you must be hungry after your journey.’ Mrs Rogers took Hanna’s hand for a moment, tears in her eyes. ‘We’re so glad you’re here.’ Then she hurried out to the kitchen.

Mr Rogers sat down and took a deep shuddering breath, running his hand through his still abundant hair. ‘This is damned hard to take. Another day and Alan would have been safe. Can you stay for a while, my dear? It would be a great comfort to both of us. We feel lost and helpless.’

‘I don’t have to rush back. Jane – Mrs Harcourt – has told me to stay as long as I need to.’ Hanna stood up to help with the tray of tea and sandwiches.