A Natural Act (Contradictions) (11 page)

Craig’s muscular arm opens the door to the flat, holding it open for me to walk in. We don’t need to speak as we move; we have our routine now. We start with the kitchen because feeding Craig is always my first priority.

It pleases me to know he’s
fed and taken care of because he’s always taken such good care of me.

“
You mind me going to Leeds?” He asks after I’ve sipped the taster of sauce he was offering on a teaspoon.

I lick the drop that escaped from my lower lip a fraction slower than I need to because I’m enjoying the ravenous way Craig is watching me.

Like he wants to lick it up instead and follow up with the rest of me.

I swallow thickly and try to ignore the tension it creates and the way his attention empowers me. It makes me feel like a woman. A woman I like.

“Of course not,” I reply with a shaky voice, making a considerate effort to disguise my own desire. “You should definitely spend time your sister.”

“
Come with?” He asks again, knowing I’m more comfortable talking about it now that we’re alone.

“
I… I’m not sure,” I reply anxiously just as my phone vibrates.

Dread instantly rises in my stomach as I hear it. My phone is on the counter closest to Craig and he picks it up and passes it to me.

“Bella?” He asks with concern, watching my reaction as I read the message on the screen.

Three simple words.

“I miss you.”

I just stare at the screen unresponsive, holding it out for him to see.

His frown deepens as his shoulders set. There’s no doubt in our minds who that message is from.

I don’t know how Nigel got my number and
, frankly, I don’t care. He has enough money and power to get hold of it. What bothers me is the fact that he expended both time and money to obtain it and what that means for me.

I’m doomed.

Before I even realise what’s happened, I’m wrapped in a strong, warm embrace. It’s a solid wall of comfort and protection. It’s quite literally holding me up,

“
We’ll get you a new number,” Craig sighs. “Fuck knows how the bastard got it.”

His brow is lined with worry and it’s obvious he’d like to punch something. I’m fairly sure that
something is a woman-beating, overpaid, corrupt lawyer.

“
No,” I shake my head. Somehow the fact that Craig is angry keeps me calm.

I have somebody who cares about me enough for this reaction. That’s something to fight for. It’s a reason to be me.

“No new number,” I explain. “He’d just get that as well.”

“
I’m not letting him get to you, Bella,” Craig growls.

“
He won’t,” I shake my head, so touched by his desire to protect me that I actually smile. “If I changed my number, I’d be letting him get to me. This is a mind game. It’s how he works. If I ignore him, I win.”

“
He’s not playing games with my… with you,” Craig’s growl verges on a bark.

“
I’m already a piece on his chessboard. There’s nothing I can do to escape except outplay him. Let’s forget about it and get back to where we were.”

“
We should report it the police,” Craig mutters, cracking his knuckles before relaxing his shoulders on a deep sigh.

“
What for? There’s no overt threats in his texts, he’s too smart for that.”

He knows I’m right so he drops his head and embraces me once more.

“Let’s just ignore it. Please?” I whisper against his chest.

I feel him nod his head above me and I smile

“Leeds,” I remind him because I’m keen to start ignoring it as soon as possible.

He takes a deep breath and, with visible restraint, goes back to stirring the sauce we’re preparing.
“Why don’t you wanna come? Thought you wanted to meet Jelly.”

I’d like to meet anyone in his family to be honest; they’re a huge part of his life. When he’s not here, at work, or working out, he’s with them. He usually gets at least two phone calls a night from one or another of his family. Even if they’re just ringing to check if he needs anything.

It’s lovely.

“
I do… it’s just,” I struggle to find words to explain the internal struggle I’m fighting.

“
You still struggling with your freedom?” He cocks his head at me.

That’s it. That’s exactly it. I’ve been a virtual prisoner for too long that being away from the sanctuary of my new home is practically terrifying.
It takes me ten minutes just to convince myself to make the short trip into town for work.

“
I’m sorry,” I whisper, tucking my head to hide my shame.

“
No apologies, Bella,” Craig sighs against my scalp. “It’s understandable but we need to work on it.”

I nod. I know I can’t stay like this. I can’t continue to get a virtual anxiety attack every time I leave the flat.

“How about if you just come for the day?” Craig suggests. “The train station is just down the road. You just have to get there on Sunday and I’ll meet you on the other side. We can come back together.”

I think about it because I can see how much he wants this. The fact that he’s so eager to introduce me to somebody
is extremely touching and I know I can’t say no to him.

“
Okay,” I respond cautiously. “Sunday.”

I look up to see him grin as he scoops me up with his arms around my waist. I’m rotated a full three-sixty before my feet meet the ground again. I’m giggling like a child as he presses gentle kisses to the top of my head.

“You’re incredible, you know that?”

I shake my head.

“Bella,” he scolds softly. “This fucker beat and tortured you for years. Hell, you still have a few bruises to show it,” he gestures to my ribs with a scowl. “And yet you’re still fighting. You’re still alive and kicking. You’re winning.”

I shake my head
, turning away and swallowing against the shame. I detest the fact that I stopped fighting. I gave in.

“
What?” Craig demands, taking me by the shoulders and gently turning my body to face his. “What is it, lady?”

I shake my head and continue studying the floor intently. He’s already seen how broken my body can be, he doesn’t need to see the state of my
mind.

“
You won’t open up to me?”

“
You're not exactly an open book yourself, doctor,” I bite back with more venom than intended. I didn't mean for my words to come out with a sting but I don't want to discuss this with him. He's done a lot for me but he's tight-lipped about himself. I think I know who he is from spending so much time with him but I don't know why he is who he is. I don't know how he ticks, so to speak. I don't know why he always puts his shoes on the left of mine or why he never picks up his cutlery before I've picked up mine.

I would love to know that about him and, whilst my nerves are already raw, I'm almost irritated at him for not opening up and asking me to do the same.

He stops and stares at me. His entire being stills, his mouth hanging open slightly as he studies me. I can almost see an internal battle behind the blue shields of his irises.

“
You want to read my pages, Bella?” He growls, moving into my personal space and looking down at me.

I look up timidly and meet his eyes. He's not angry, if anything he looks curious.

Intense but curious.

“
Every morpheme, of every word, of every paragraph,” I nod defiantly.

“
Big words,” he mumbles with a slight smirk.

“
You're avoiding letting me read,” I point out.

“
Not avoiding. Contemplating,” he argues.

“
What is there to contemplate?” I frown, trying to understand my complex fight, doctor, and saviour.

“
Motive,” he shrugs again, boxing me in with his body and the worktop behind my back.

Before I can answer, he quickly lifts my frame onto the worktop so I'm sat upon
its surface and eye-to-eye with him.

“
You make it sound like it's a crime;” I frown at him once my behind is firmly planted on the worktop.

He doesn't reply. He simply stares at me with that curious expression on his face and his lips sucked in between his teeth.

“Okay,” he nods after a while. “Only fair, I guess.”

“
Okay?” I raise a quizzical eyebrow because I'm not quite sure what he's agreeing to.

“
I talk to you, you talk to me,” he tells me.

“
Commonly known as a conversation,” I retort.

He ignores my mocke
ry and rests his large palms above my knees, just shy of the danger zone of my thighs.

“
I'm pretty strong,” he starts.

“
I know,” I grin, squeezing his bicep playfully.

“
But I wasn't always,” he continues, ignoring my humour and I immediately regret it because he's deadly serious and there's obviously nothing funny about what he wants to tell me.

I sober and give him my full attention. There's never a moment when he doesn't have it when he's
this close to me.

“
Five of my brothers are older. The twins are closest to me in age; they're almost four years older. I get on pretty well with everyone.

However, my second eldest brother, Karl, and his best friend, Matt, are... different.”

Matt is his adopted brother, I know that at least.
“You don't get on?”

“
Oh we do,” he shrugs. “At any point in my life, they would have done anything to protect me. Just not from themselves.”

“
Karl is... well, he has a temper and we've never quite got on as well as the others.”

“
Why?”

“
Never knew when I was younger but I'm pretty sure it's because he's dyslexic,” he dips his head and breaks the eye contact.

“
Oh?” I prompt I don't get it.

“
I have a pretty good memory,” he shrugs. “Never really had a problem at school. He had to study for hours every night just to get the grades that came easy to me. I understand it now. I didn't then.”

“
And Matt?” I ask because I want to understand why he doesn't get on with his adoptive brother either.

“
That's harder to explain,” he frowns, the set of his jaw becoming tenser.

“
Try,” I encourage gently.

“
His story isn't mine to tell. Let's just say that I saw something he didn't want me to see and he's held it against me ever since.”

“
Since when? How old were you?” I frown.

He shrugs.
“Six.”

“
That's a long time to hold a grudge,” I frown.

“
I don't hold it against him,” he shrugs, shuffling his feet. I can tell he's uncomfortable but he pushes through. “I only tell you because for years, every day, they tortured me. They beat the shit out of me, took my food, and trapped me in my locker. They fucked with my relationships, ruined my friendships, and played mind games.”

I gasp because it sounds like a living hell.

“It sounds worse than it was,” he smirks slightly at my reaction. “It was just one thing, every day. We still had fun, mucked around with the others, played side by side.”

“
But-”

“
But nothing. They're my family and I love them. I was weak and they were stronger. When I was around twelve or thirteen I decided to change that. I learned early on that there was no point fighting it. It made it worse so I just let them do whatever they wanted.”

“
What changed?” I ask, trying hard not to cry because I don't like the idea of him suffering through all that.

He grins.
“Couldn't take it anymore. I ratted them out to my eldest brother.”

“
He didn't already know?” He can't have been oblivious to everything.

“
He knew,” Craig's grin broadens. “I knew he'd called them out on it a few times but it never mattered. They didn't stop.”

“
So, what did he do this time?”

“
Nothing,” he chuckles.

“
Nothing?” I scowl. Without parents, Craig's eldest brother took on responsibility of caring for the family. Nothing wasn't the answer I was expecting.

“
He asked me what I was going to do about it,” Craig explains.

“
And?”

“
I realised I was expecting him to fix it for me. I hadn't done anything about it but let it happen because they were stronger than me.”