A Mother's Wish (5 page)

“Make yourself comfortable,” Steve said and watched as Meg chose to sit on the sofa. She sat, crossing her legs with great ceremony. Then she patted the empty space beside her, silently requesting Steve to join her there. He glanced longingly at his favorite chair, but moved across the room and sat down next to Meg.

The minute he was comfortable, Meg placed her hand possessively on his knee and flexed her nails into his thigh. Inch by provocative inch she raked her nails up his leg until it was all Steve could do not to pop straight off the sofa. He caught her hand and stopped her from reaching what seemed to be her ultimate destination.

Her expression was mildly repentant when she looked
at him, but Steve knew her well enough to know the action had been deliberate.

“I thought you might be hungry before Steve takes you to dinner, so I made a few hors d’oeuvres,” Nancy said and excused herself.

“What are you doing?” Steve whispered the minute his sister was out of the room.

“Doing? What do you mean?” She had wide-eyed innocence down to an art.

“Never mind,” he muttered as Nancy returned from the kitchen carrying a small silver platter.

“Those look wonderful,” Meg said sweetly when his sister put the tray on the coffee table in front of them. “But I couldn’t eat a thing.”

To the best of his knowledge it was the first time his sister had cooked from the moment she’d moved in with him, and he wasn’t about to let it go to waste. He chose a tiny wiener wrapped in some kind of crispy dough and tossed it in his mouth.

“You shouldn’t have gone to all this trouble,” Meg told his sister.

Nancy sat across the room from them, apparently at a complete loss for words.

“I suspect you’re wondering about all these letters and e-mails I wrote,” Meg said, getting the conversation going. “I hope you aren’t unhappy with me.”

“No, no, not at all,” Nancy said, rushing the words together.

“It’s just that I’ve come to know what people
really
want from me by the things they say.” She turned, and with the tip of her index finger wiped a crumb from the corner of his mouth. Her tongue moistened her lips and Steve’s insides turned to mush.

“I learned a long time ago what men want from a woman,” Meg continued after a moment, “especially when I went to work for a phone sex line. Most of the guys are just looking for a woman to talk dirty to them.”

“I see.” Nancy folded her hands primly in her lap.

“There was the occasional guy who was looking for a good girl to shock, of course. I got very talented at acting horrified.” She made a soft, gasping sound, then laughed demurely.

“Why … why would someone like you place an ad in Dateline?” Nancy asked, nervously brushing the hair from her face.

“Well, first,” Meg said, holding his sister’s gaze, “it’s just about the only way someone like me can meet anyone decent. But it wasn’t your brother who answered the ad, now, was it?”

“No, but—”

“Not that it matters,” Meg said, cutting her off. “I was tired of my job and all those guys asking me to say those
nasty things, and I didn’t want to start working on my back again.”

“On your … back,” Nancy repeated.

“I’m sorry, sugar. I didn’t mean to shock you. I’ve got a colorful past—but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad girl. I’ve got a heart just brimming with love. All I need is the right man.” Her gaze wandered to Steve and was long and deliberate. “Your brother’s given me a reason to dream again,” Meg said softly. “Lots of people think women like me don’t have feelings, but they’re wrong.”

“I’m sure that’s true,” Nancy said tentatively.

“I knew I chose right when I found out your brother has his own business.”

“He’s struggled financially for years,” Nancy was quick to tell her. “It’s still touch and go. He lives from one month to the next.” Nancy glared at him pointedly. “Don’t you, Steve?”

“Not anymore. I’m more than solvent now,” Steve tossed in for good measure, struggling not to laugh. He was enjoying this.

Meg tightened her arm around his. “I can see how well Stevie’s doing for himself. He’s wonderful,” she said, refusing to look away. The adoration on her face embarrassed him.

“Why, Steve here could make enough money to keep me in the lifestyle to which I’d like to become accustomed.” She laughed coyly.

“Ah …” It sounded to Steve as if his sister was close to hyperventilating.

“Of course, I wouldn’t take anything from him without giving in return. That wouldn’t be fair.” She snuggled closer to his side and gave him a look so purely sexual Steve was convinced he’d embarrass them all.

“There are things I could teach your brother,” Meg said in a husky voice full of sexual innuendo. She acted as though she was eager to get started right that moment and the only thing holding her back was propriety. Her breathing grew heavy—and if he didn’t know better he’d think she actually
had
worked for one of those disreputable phone services.

Soon he was having a problem controlling his own breathing.

“Steve!” Nancy snapped.

He turned his attention back to his sister, staring at her blankly.

“Didn’t you hear Meg?” she asked.

He shrugged. He knew the two women were talking, but he’d barely noticed their conversation.

“Meg’s talking about moving in with you,” Nancy said through clenched teeth.

“I don’t mean to rush you, darling’,” Meg whispered. Leaning forward, she licked his earlobe with the tip of her tongue.

Hot sensation shot down his spine.

Meg threw back her head and laughed softly, then whispered just loudly enough for Nancy to hear, “I have an incredibly talented tongue.”

Nancy closed her eyes as if she couldn’t bear to watch another minute of this. Frankly, Steve didn’t know how much more he could take himself.

“I think it’s time we left for dinner,” he said. Otherwise he was going to start believing all the promises Meg was making. Heaven knew, he
wanted
to believe them. The demure bookseller had turned into something completely different. All traces of innocence had disappeared and in their place was the most sexually provocative female he’d ever met. Just being in the same room with her made his blood sizzle.

“You want to leave already?” Meg gave the impression that she was terribly disappointed.

“That’s probably best,” Nancy muttered, and then realizing what she’d said, hurried to add, “I mean, you two don’t want to waste your evening with me, do you?” She frowned at Steve. “You won’t be late, will you?”

“No.”

“Unfortunately, I’m still working for the phone people,” Meg said, “so I won’t keep him too long, but I can’t promise he’ll have much kick left in him when I’m finished.” Apparently thinking herself exceptionally clever, Meg laughed at her own joke.

It wasn’t until they were back in the car and on the freeway
that Steve recognized how angry he was. It made no sense, but he wasn’t exactly rational just then.

“Why are you so mad?” Meg asked about halfway back to the bookstore. They hadn’t spoken a word from the time they’d left his house.

“Talk about overkill,” he muttered.

“I thought I did a good job,” she said.

“You came off like a—”

“I know. That’s what I wanted. After meeting me, do you honestly think your sister’s going to encourage our relationship?”

“No,” he growled.

“I can guarantee you that Lindsey doesn’t want me to see you, either. I thought that’s what this whole scheme of yours was about.”

“It sounded like a good idea at the time.” He tightened his hands on the steering wheel. “It seemed like a surefire way to convince your daughter that I was the wrong man for you.”

“And your sister that I was equally wrong for you.”

Silence settled over them like nightfall. Neither of them seemed inclined to talk again.

Steve edged his car into the alley behind Meg’s store and parked his car behind hers.

“I’m not so sure anymore,” he said without looking at her.

“About what?”

“The two of us. Somewhere in the middle of all this, I
decided I kind of like you.” It hadn’t been easy to admit, and he hoped she appreciated what it had cost his pride. “It probably wouldn’t have been as obvious if you hadn’t made yourself out to be so cheap. That isn’t you any more than the rebel without a cause is me.”

He wished she’d say something. When she did speak, her voice was timid and small. “Then there was the kiss.”

“Kisses,” he corrected. “They were pretty great and we both know it,” he said with confidence. He knew what his own reaction had been, and she hadn’t fooled him with hers.

“Yes,” she said softly.

“Especially the one on the motorcycle,” he said, prompting her to continue.

“Especially the one on the motorcycle,” she mimicked. “Honestly, Steve, you must’ve known.”

His smile was full blown. “I did.”

“I … I didn’t do a very good job of disguising what I was feeling.”

She hadn’t, but he was in a gracious mood.

“How about dinner?” he suggested. He was eager to have the real Meg Remington back. Eager to experiment with a few more kisses—see if they were anything close to what his memory kept insisting they’d been.

She hesitated. “I want to, but I can’t,” she eventually said.

He bristled and turned in the driver’s seat to face her. “Why not?”

“I promised Lindsey I’d be home by seven and it’s nearly that now.”

“Call her and tell her you’re going out to dinner with me.”

She dragged in a deep breath and seemed to hold it. “I can’t do that, either.”

“Why not?”

“After meeting you, I promised her we’d talk. She wanted to last evening, and we didn’t …. That was my fault. You kissed me,” she said, “and I didn’t feel like a heart-to-heart with my daughter after that.”

“And it’s all my fault?”

“Yes,” she insisted.

“Do you know what Lindsey wants to discuss?”

“Of course, I know. You. She doesn’t want me seeing you again, which is exactly the point of the entire charade. Remember?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, scowling.

“Are … are you telling me you’ve changed your mind?” she asked.

“Yes.” He hated to be the one to say it first, but one of them had to. “What about you?”

“I think so.”

Steve flattened his hand against the steering wheel. “I
swear you’re about the worst thing that’s ever happened to my ego.”

She laughed and rested her hand on his shoulder. The wig she had on tilted sideways and she righted it. “That does sound terrible, doesn’t it?”

He smiled. “Yeah. The least you could do is show some enthusiasm.”

“I haven’t dated much in the last ten years. But if I was going to choose any man, it would be you.”

“That’s better,” he said. He wanted to kiss her. He’d been thinking about it from the moment he’d picked her up.

“Only …” Meg said sadly.

“Only what?” he repeated, lowering his mouth to hers.

Their lips met and it was heaven, just the way he’d known it would be. By the time the kiss ended, Steve was leaning his head against the window of the car door, his eyes closed. It was even more wonderful than he’d remembered, and that seemed impossible.

Meg’s head was on his chest, tucked beneath his chin.

“It’s too late,” she whispered.

“What’s too late?”

“We’ve gone to all this trouble to convince Lindsey that you’re all wrong for me.”

“I know, but … “

“Do you think Nancy will believe this was all a silly joke?”

“No.”

“I think we should end everything right here and now, don’t you?” she asked.

Steve stiffened. “If that’s what you want.”

She moved away from him. “I guess it is,” she said, with just a hint of regret.

L
indsey was pacing the living room, waiting for Meg when she walked in the front door.

“Hi, honey,” Meg said, trying to sound cheerful yet exhausted—since she’d led Lindsey to believe she was taking inventory at the bookstore and that was why she’d come home so late.

“It’s way after seven!” her daughter cried, rushing toward her. “You weren’t with Steve, were you?”

“Ah …” Meg wasn’t willing to lie outright. Half truths and innuendos were about as far as she wanted to stretch this.

Lindsey closed her eyes and waved her hands vaguely. “Forget it. Don’t answer that.”

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Meg asked as calmly as she
could. Unfortunately, she didn’t think she sounded all that reassuring. She’d left Steve only moments earlier and was already feeling some regret. After following through with this ridiculous charade, Steve wanted to change his mind and continue seeing Meg. She’d quickly put an end to
that
idea. Now she wasn’t sure she’d made the right decision.

“Mom,” Lindsey said, her dark eyes challenging, “we need to talk.”

“Of course.” Meg walked into the kitchen and took the china teapot from the hutch. “My mother always made tea when we had something to discuss.” Somehow, the ritual of drinking tea together put everything in perspective. Meg missed those times with her mother.

Lindsey helped her assemble everything they needed and carried it into the dining room. Meg poured them each a cup, once the tea had steeped, and they sat across from each other at the polished mahogany table.

Meg waited, and when Lindsey wasn’t immediately forthcoming she decided to get the conversation started. “You wanted to talk to me about Steve, right?”

Lindsey clasped the delicate china cup with one hand and lowered her gaze. “Do you really, really like him?” she asked anxiously.

Meg answered before she took time to censor the question. “Yes.”

“But why? I mean, he’s nothing like what I thought he’d be.” She hesitated. “I suppose this is what Brenda and I
get for pretending we were you,” she mumbled. “Maybe if you’d read his stuff, you would’ve been able to tell what kind of guy he really is.”

“Steve is actually a fine person.” And he was. Or at least the Steve Meg knew.

Lindsey risked a glance at her. “You’ve said hundreds of times that you don’t want me to judge others by outward appearances, but sometimes that’s all there is.”

“You’re worried about me and Steve, aren’t you?” Meg said gently.

Lindsey rubbed her finger along the edge of the teacup. “I realize now that what Brenda and I did was really stupid. We linked you up with a guy who has a prison record. We sure were easy to fool,” Lindsey said with a scowl. “We’re only fifteen years old!”

“But I like Steve,” Meg felt obliged to tell her.

Lindsey looked as if she didn’t know how to account for that. “I’m afraid he’s going to hurt you.”

“Steve wouldn’t do that,” Meg assured her, “but I understand your concern, honey, and I promise you I won’t let the situation get out of hand.”

Lindsey frowned, stiffened her shoulders and blurted out, “I don’t want you to see him again.”

“But … “

“I mean it, Mom. This guy is trouble.”

Talk about role reversal!

“I want you to
promise
me you won’t see Steve Conlan again.”

“Lindsey … “

“This is important. You may not understand it now, but I promise you will in the future. There are plenty of other men, law-abiding citizens, who’d give their right arms to meet a woman like you.”

Meg stared. She couldn’t be hearing this. This sounded exactly like something her mother had said back when Meg was in high school.

The intense look in Lindsey’s eyes softened and she gestured weakly. “The time will come when you’ll thank me for this.”

“Really?” Meg couldn’t resist raising her eyebrows.

“There’ll be a boy in my life that you’ll disapprove of and I won’t understand why,” Lindsey went on. “When that happens, I want you to remind me of now.”

Meg shook her head—in bafflement and disbelief. “Are you telling me you’d break up with a boy simply because I didn’t like him?”

“No,” Lindsey said carefully. “But I’d consider it because I know how I feel about you seeing Steve, and I’d understand how you might feel about someone I was dating. Don’t get me wrong,” she hurried to add, “I don’t dislike Steve …. He’s kind of cute. It’s just that I feel you could do a whole lot better.”

“I’ll think about it,” Meg promised.

Lindsey nodded. “I can’t ask for more than that.”

Her daughter had behaved just as Meg had predicted. This had gone precisely according to plan. But Meg didn’t feel good about it. If anything, she felt more depressed following their conversation than before.

She didn’t have any talent when it came to relationships, Meg decided, as she finished putting away the dinner dishes later that evening. Steve had come right out and told her he’d had a change of heart, and she’d bungled everything. Instead of admitting that she felt the same way he did, she’d trampled all over his ego.

Meg turned to the kitchen phone, tempted to call him. It couldn’t end like this, with such confusion, such uncertainty about what she really wanted. What
they
wanted.

Never had an evening passed more slowly. It seemed to take Lindsey hours to go to bed, and by then Meg was yawning herself.

As soon as Meg could be reasonably sure that her daughter was asleep, she tiptoed toward the kitchen phone and dialed Steve’s number, her heart pounding. Finally she heard his groggy voice.

“Steve?” she whispered. “Thank goodness it’s you. I didn’t know what I was going to do if Nancy answered.”

“Meg? Is that you?” He sounded surprised to hear from her, and none too pleased.

She bristled. “How many other women do you have phoning you at eleven o’clock at night?”

He didn’t respond right away, and when he spoke his voice definitely lacked welcome. “I thought you said it wasn’t a good idea for us to see each other.”

“I … I don’t know what I want.”

“Do you expect me to make your decisions for you?”

“Of course not.” This wasn’t going well. In fact, it was going very badly. She probably should’ve waited until she’d had time to figure this out a little more clearly.

“Is there a reason you called?” he asked gruffly.

“Yes,” she said, sorry now that she’d phoned him. “I wanted to apologize for being abrupt earlier. I … can see now that I shouldn’t have called.”

Having said that, she carefully replaced the receiver. For a long moment she stared at the phone, feeling like an idiot.

She’d turned away to head up the stairs when the phone rang, jolting her. Quickly she grabbed it before the noise could wake Lindsey.

“Hello,” she whispered.

“Meet me.” It was Steve.

“I can’t leave Lindsey.”

“Why not? She’s in bed, isn’t she?”

“Yes, but … “

“Write her a note. Tell her you’re going to the grocery store.”

How reasonable he made it sound—as if she usually did her shopping in the middle of the night.

“She won’t even know you’re gone,” Steve said.

Meg closed her eyes. They’d been together only a few hours earlier, and yet it felt as if they’d been apart for weeks.

Her stomach twisted. Then—before she could change her mind—she blurted out, “All right, but I can’t stay long.”

“Fair enough.”

They agreed to meet in the Albertson’s parking lot. The huge store was open twenty-four hours a day. Meg had been shopping there for years. The note she left Lindsey said she’d gone to pick up some milk—that classic excuse—but it was exactly what she intended to do.

She sat in her car until she saw Steve pull into the nearly empty lot. Uncertain she was doing the right thing, she got out and waited for him.

Steve parked in the spot next to hers. They stood facing each other for a moment, neither speaking.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” she said.

It appeared she wasn’t the only one with doubts. Steve’s face was blank, emotionless. “Me neither.”

They walked into the store together and reached for grocery carts. Meg’s had a squeaky wheel. The sound echoed through the cavernous store.

The deli was closed, but Steve was able to get them each a cup of coffee from the friendly night manager.
They parked their empty carts and sat at a small white table in the deli section. Neither seemed inclined to speak.

She felt encouraged that Steve had phoned her back, but she suspected he regretted it now.

“You know what you said earlier?” she began.

“I said lots of things earlier. Which particular thing are you referring to?”

Meg guessed his sarcasm was warranted. After all, she’d wounded his ego, and he wasn’t giving her the chance to do it again. “About the two of us, you know, dating.”

“You said Lindsey wouldn’t like it.”

“She doesn’t,” Meg said. “She asked me not to see you again.”

His gaze pinned hers. “Did you agree?”

“Not … entirely.”

His eyes narrowed with a frown. “You’d better explain.”

“Well, as you’ve already surmised, Lindsey isn’t keen on me seeing you. Which is exactly the reason you stopped by the house and did your biker routine, right? Well, it worked. She’s worried that you’re the wrong man for me.” It would’ve helped if he hadn’t bragged about his prison record and mentioned his parole officer’s name. But now didn’t seem to be the time to bring that up.

“Did you or did you not promise her you wouldn’t see me again?”

“Neither.” Meg sipped from the disposable cup and grimaced at the taste of burned coffee.

“Then what
did
you say to her?”

Meg lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “That I’d think about it.”

“Have you?”

Propping her elbows on the table’s edge, Meg swirled the black liquid around the cup and avoided looking at Steve. “I called you, didn’t I?”

“I still haven’t figured out why.”

That was the problem: she hadn’t, either. Not really. “I guess it’s because you have a point about seeing each other again.”

“Oh, yeah?” He gave her a cocky grin.

Her anger flared. “Would you stop it?”

“Stop what?” he asked innocently.

“The next thing I know, you’re going to ask me how much I enjoyed kissing you.”

Steve smiled for the first time. “It wouldn’t hurt to know.”

“All right, since it means so much to you, I’ll admit it. No man’s ever kissed me the way you do. It scares me—but at the same time I wish it could go on forever.” Having admitted this much, she supposed she might as well say it all. “My marriage left me wondering if I was … if I was capable of those kinds of feelings ….” She paused and lowered
her eyes. “I was afraid I was, you know, frigid,” she said in a choked whisper.

She stared down at her coffee, then took a sip, followed by several more, as if the vile stuff were the antidote to some dreaded illness.

The last thing she expected her small confession to provoke in Steve was a laugh. “You’re joking!”

She shook her head forcefully. “Don’t laugh. Please.”

His hand reached for hers and their fingers entwined. “I wasn’t laughing at you, Meg,” he said gently. “You’re one of the most sensual women I’ve ever met. Trust me, if you’re frigid—and there’s a word I haven’t heard in years—then I’m a monk.”

Meg looked up and offered him a fragile smile. It astonished her that this man who’d known her for only a few days could chase away the doubts that had hounded her through the years after her divorce.

He cleared his throat. “I, uh, don’t think you should look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you want me to kiss you.”

Her eyes drifted shut. “Maybe I do …. That’s what makes everything so complicated. I’m really attracted to you. I haven’t felt like this before—not ever, not even with my ex-husband, and like I said, that scares me.”

He stood up, still holding Meg’s hand, and tugged her to her feet.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Someplace private,” he said, scanning the store. He led her through the frozen food section, past the bakery and into a small alcove where the wine was kept. With her back to the domestic beer, he brought her into his arms and covered her mouth with his.

Their kiss was rough with need, but she wasn’t sure whose need was greater. Meg could feel Steve’s heart racing as hard as her own. She supposed she should’ve pulled away, ended the kiss, stepped out of his arms. But Meg didn’t want that.

Steve yawned. He was
so
tired. With good reason. It’d been almost three before he’d gone to bed and four before he’d been able to fall asleep. His alarm had gone off at six.

He arrived at the shop and made a pot of coffee. He mumbled a greeting when Gary got in.

“I hope you’re in a better mood than you were yesterday,” his foreman told him. “What’s wrong with you, anyway?”

Steve checked over the job orders for the day. “Women,” he muttered in explanation and apology.

“I should’ve guessed. What’s going on?”

“You don’t want to hear this,” he said and headed for the garage.

“Sure I do,” Gary said, following him. “I don’t suppose this has anything to do with Nancy, does it?”

Steve glared at him. “What do you know about my sister?”

“Not much,” Gary said and held up both hands. “Just what you said about her fixing you up with some woman. It’s none of my business, but you and this woman seem to be hitting it off just fine.”

Steve continued to glare at him. “What makes you say that?”

Gary laughed. “I haven’t seen you this miserable in years. Which probably means you’ve fallen for her. Why don’t you put yourself out of your misery? Shoot yourself and be done with it.”

Frowning, Steve turned away. The kid was a smartass, although now that Steve thought about it, Gary might have come up with the perfect solution.

It was noon before Steve had a chance to go into his office. He made sure no one was looking, then closed the door and reached for the phone.

“Book Ends, Laura speaking,” a woman said in a friendly voice.